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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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 Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:12 pm
Raquel said nothing at that, just standing there, still looking at the papers though felt physically ill from the tension.
And for the first time in her life, Raquel couldn't read the emotions in the room. Either they were too intense, or too mixed up, she wasn't sure.
She couldn't tell if she should be angry and start yelling, or break into tears and apologize right then and there. It all depended on him, she reasoned.
Was he angry with her for not being there? Was he upset because he felt she didn't care?
She didnt know and didn't know how to go about knowing.
She opened her mouth as if wanting to say somehting, but no words came out. Just more of that sickening silence.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:18 pm
"I'll go get dinner started."
Damian stood from the couch and swept past her to the kitchen. He had no bloody clue how to go about cooking dinner, or even if there was food to be cooked, but he would take anything to be away from her silence and in his own. Though nothing had been said, it had all been made clear: she hadn't come, she didn't want the house in her name as well, and he had terribly messed up.
But how could he fix it?
"We went too fast..." he found himself mouthing as he searched through cupboards for pasta. "We went to fast and now we're crashing."
Soundless words, but they struck him as if they'd been screamed.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:34 pm
Raquel still said nothing as she merely stood stationary, even as he whipped past her, she didn't move.
Finally though she did move. She leaned down to pick up the papers, reading over them silently. She still said nothing, her back turned to him. Nothing seemed terribly out of place except for the one or two spots of water that appeared suddenly on the sheet she was holding. She bit her lip and shut her eyes tightly, calming herself down. She set the papers down, taking a few deep breaths.
"...There's some sauce in the fridge from the other night..." She called softly, not turning yet, just trying to gather her thoughts as she rubbed her head slightly.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:41 pm
The sound of the door to the fridge opening and then closing seemed to be the only answer or thanks he could give her for pointing that out. A few more minutes of rummaging could be heard before pots and pans were taken out, and suddenly everything just stopped. All noise, all shuffling of boxes ceased.
Damian had stopped himself to take a few deep breaths. Giving her the silent treatment would not help, as it would only drive her deeper into herself. So how could he make this work?
He set everything down on the stove and stepped over to the doorway. From there he could see her set the papers down, and wipe her eye. Of course she was getting emotional; Raquel was always emotional about everything.
"I love you," he said, more as an accusation than a simple statement. "...I do, I love you, but... tell me what it is I'm not doing here. What did I do wrong?"
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:47 pm
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" She exclaimed almost too readily as she stopped herself again,rubbing her face out of frustration and confusion.
"...." She turned around to face him, arms holding each other tightly as she stared down at the ground. "...Damian...You've done nothing wrong...Its just-" She had to chose her words carefully to get her point across.
"...I-..I think we're doing this wrong...." Was all she could really say since there was a catch in her throat. But other than that, she seemed perfectly calm.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:50 pm
"I think we are, too," he said with a bitterly confused look upon his face. "We've... we've gone too fast. I don't know how to stop it, but we have."
Buying a house for them both was his idea. They shouldn't have done that until after Raquel was done with school. The idea of proposing should have been held off as well, but there he had gone and done it. It was his fault, as he saw it, but Raquel assured him he'd done nothing. Idolizing him, as always.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:00 pm
Raquel furrowed her brow, holding soemthing close to the same look he held. "...I'm sorry..." She spat out of nowhere. "I'm sorry I was-...I was so damn desperate to get married..." She shook her head.
"I mean..I saw how happy Lorey and Richard were...and I dont know... I just wanted to have that with you, even though we weren't ready...I pushed the subject too much and-" She stopped a moment, her thoughts coming together.
"Dear God...I'm doing it again..." She looked up to Damian, this disgusted realization planted on her face. "I just figure that marriage will solve all life's problems, so I spring it on the man I love... I did it with Nat and scared him off the planet. And now I'm doing it with you and its causing us to crash and burn before we even get down the aisle..." She closed her eyes, as if trying to make it not true. But it was an infuriating and upsetting thought.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:03 pm
"You never talked about marriage. I was the one who went out and got the ring."
Damian sudden;y had a realization as well. Raquel talked about seeing how happy Lorey and Richard were and how she wanted that for herself and where were they? Standing in their friend's house.
"We need to stop holding up what we have to them... we both do it, Raquel. Even in their own house, we hold everything up to their relationship and not ourselves."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:13 pm
Raquel fell silent again. It made sense.
After a short while, she asked the question that had been forming in her mind for awhile by then. "...Then what do we do?" She asked simply, looking up to him for an answer.
*AH Short post is short! D:*
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:21 pm
If he knew, he would have set out the plan of action and saved them both from this disaster before she even came home.
"...you go to school, and we... take things from there."
Really, the key in that plan was that she would be going away. They'd both be in their element, figuring out their own lives, and incorporating each other in their lives when they could. Damian needed space and time to think, and he was sure Raquel did, too.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:36 pm
Raquel merely nodded, biting her lips fora moment as the wheels turned in her mind. It seemed that's all they needed... time.
Things got too silent again before she couldn't take it much longer. Without a word, she came right up to him, wrapping her arms about him gently, bringing him in fora close embrace.She shut her eyes tightly, still not speaking. No tears, no words, nothing but just holding him for the sake of holding him.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:43 pm
Peaceful quiet had been achieved through the simplest actions on her part. Damian held her close and forgot about what he was trying to make for them both, forgot about the fact that he now owned a beautiful house, and that they would have to go back to the one they both called home all too soon. Richard and Lorey would be back within a day or so.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:54 pm
After a moment, Raquel gave him a squeeze. "Hey..." She pulled back slightly, taking his face in her hands. "It'll be ok....ok?" She spoke softly and consolingly, pushing his hair back a bit,and just staring into his eyes.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:58 pm
It was amazing how her touch could make all his thoughts stop, and all his worries lessen, even if it was just for a moment.
"I know. It'll be okay..."
He wasn't sure if she was open for a kiss or not, or if she wanted to keep this moment as simple as could be. Damian was content holding her and just being on good terms again.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:12 pm
As if reading his mind, Raquel leaned up and pecked his lips lightly. They were both good again, but it was just a bit too soon to 'run up stairs' after all that. They just needed to slow down a bit like he said.
"Let me take care of that dinner ok?" She offered, giving him one last hug, before turning to address the kitchen.
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