Welcome to Gaia! ::

"SHHHH! You'll ruin everything!"

"Oh great, now you've done it.
Look, you might have to strip if we're going to get out of here alive."

"There's no time for that! Strip now! HURRY!'

"Burger, I have no time to explain! But since you asked, let me describe the situation in unnecessary detail:

"My sources tell me that we have an intruder in the premises: The Ubiquitously Focused Squire of Don Juan Chesterfield, as he calls himself. I know the name means nothing to you, but our department has been tracking this sneaky criminal for months.

"Before he turned to a life of crime, he was a research scientist at Khoal's Research Premises for Chemically Superior Clothing Lines. His specific field of specialty was in finding new odorless, colorless, and otherwise undetectable compounds that would absorb into the fibers of your clothing but could cling to nothing else.

"He turned evil, and developed many evil compounds that altered the very chemical natures of his victims' minds. He created chemicals that would make people shiver on a hot day, so they would add more clothing and die of heat stroke. He invented clothes that would make a person feel overly warm on a cold day, so that they would remove layers and freeze to death. Also, people wearing his clothes had a tendency to spontaneously burst into flame.

"If he's on the premises, then our clothes are already contaminated. We must take them off now before slight discomfort in many currently comfortable areas leads to our doom... or we burst into flame.

"I'm sorry this explanation is inadequate, but I don't have time to explain the full mechanism behind each chemical reaction! That and I forget how to do the mechanism for oxymercuration-demercuration reactions. But rest assured, somebody in my department has a friend whose uncle knows some organic chemistry, and he told us this is BAD!

"Now, quick, hurry, make haste, we must act with great speed without dilly-dallying or wasting time using excessive amounts of detail and language to cost us valuable nanoseconds. Remember at all times while you are attempting to move with all deliberate speed that brevity is the soul of wit, as is quoted by Polonius in Shakespeare's Hamlet, line 1608, and since Shakespeare is a well-respected playwright, it follows that he knows what he is talking about. We must not let long sentences make fools out of us. WE MUST BE BRIEF, TERSE, AND OTHERWISE SHORT-WINDED!

"Now please, I implore you, to take heed of my warnings. Remove your shoes, and then your socks, and do not neglect your shirt or your pants. Remove any form of underwear or undergarment if you are wearing one, including a brassiere, but jewelry is ok to leave on. Furthermore, do not forget to remove a tee shirt, if you happen to be wearing one, or a headband, for this will surely lead to your undoing. Also, make sure to check for any extraneous threads on your body, or perhaps a bit of string trapped in your belly button. These could all prove FATAL! Many a sumo wrestler has had an early end to his--or her--career due to 3rd degree belly button burns!

"Now that I have finished my quick, snappy, and otherwise abrupt, boiled-down explanation of these events, you must comply immediately! No more horsing around! STRIP, DAMN YOU, STRIP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

"No time for questions or re-explaining. Do you understand?"

It slowly dawned on Mooby that Blossom had been wearing nothing but the socks for some time now.
"Wait a second, when did you stop following the dress code?"

"Wait, wha?"
Mooby wasn't paying attention.

"Go ahead and choose not to heed the warning. You will surely perish."
*Takes off shirt and puts towel around shoulders*
"Well, I'm all stripped up. Why's everyone else going so slow?"