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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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 Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:01 pm
"Are you sure its ok if I'm cosigning on the papers? I mean, I dont have the best past ever, and I'm not sure what that would do for you if someone were to investigate me..." She noted her concern, furrowing her brow as she put away the extra toppings that hadn't ruined.
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:11 pm
Damian merely waved his hand.
"The house belongs to both of us. I will not have it look as if I'm letting you stay there because I like you... This is our dream come true."
He looked to her with concerned eyes. True, she did not have the best past and technically neither did he, but any harm that would come her way he would do his best to rebuff, even if it meant paying people off.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:24 pm
Raquel set down what was in her hands, staring down at the table. "It sucks you know..." She said softly yet solemnly. "Its not even the prostitution... I've done, and been framed for, terrible things Damian... Some things I cant even remember, either from my Amaranthine nature or my own psyche blocking it out because it was too awful. I honestly thought death would be my only path to a clean slate...or at least finally be free from my mistakes. And even though I have this bright future now...Its like I'm constantly worried Its going to come back and bite me... not even worried... its like this sickeningly dark, imminent feeling thats just.... frustrating and scary..." She looked up at Damian with a truly frightened but yet solemn and serious face.
Through all this, Damian had seemed almost God like to her, saving her from the deepest bowls of hell, also known as her mind and past. It seemed there was absolutely nothing he couldn't do. He'd fixed every little problem she ahd by simply being him.
She knew he wasn't perfect, or some miracle worker, but new his love could do wonders. But standing there, she wanted to be a little selfish... she wanted him to magically make this go away too... but that wasn't fair nor possible. She always looked to him like a super hero, bad was starting to wonder how that was affecting him. He had his own problems, serious ones at that. He didn't always need to be over top of her with ductape, band aids and hugs. She was just so grateful to have someone care like that, she felt she was abusing it...
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:33 pm
Damian had wanted to forget about that. And yet, she had brought it to light once more, in a very serious fashion.
"Damn..." he said, rubbing his face suddenly in a tired fashion. "But for school, you are using your name for that? If you are for school, then why not for the house?"
In the pit of his stomach, he knew this was all a very dangerous plan of action. To pay for both her schooling and a completely furnished house in Druis was draining him financially. When she was away, he would have to hit the market and use it tenfold to make up for what he had spent. But wasn't it all worth it? To see her happy and living the life she should have been living.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:50 pm
Raquel looked down again, her mind reeling with thoughts. "...I suppose..." She said after a moment, though she wasn't so sure. For some reason she was suddenly washed over with guilt. Damian had done everything for her, gotten her anything she desired at the drop of a hat. Money was never an issue. But yet it was still too much. She had felt it for awhile.
She was even starting to rethink buying a home now at all. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe they should wait...
If she was cosigning on the papers, she wanted to be paying for the house as well...
but she never could... she knew that. Even if he had the proper education, what could she do to even com close to contributing what Damian could. It was slightly frustrating,as well as unnerving. She felt slightly useless and like a freeloader. She knew she wasn't and Damian was doing all of this out of love and want, but still...it bothered her greatly....
"Damian?....In school.... I...I dont want you buying me anything." She looked up at him again her face firm and set on the matter. "Not books, nor supplies, laptops, clothes....I'll do it myself." She turned to face him slightly.
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:56 pm
"But how can you afford it?" he asked aloud, without even thinking of what he was beginning to say. "You haven't a job, and you can't go in there asking for a student loan for something like clothes or computers. And what about food, laundry expenses... Raquel, let me help you at least at first until you feel you can support yourself."
It wasn't until then that her not being employed irked him. True, she had been through a great deal, and there had never been a job that could have put up with their adventures and hospitalizations, but at the same time, she hadn't tried to leach him of funds. He had done everything willingly.
"I understand," Damian said softly. "And I will back off... eventually."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:06 pm
Raquel leaned against the kitchen table, folding her arms tightly, having the sickening feeling the fairytail was starting to end. Real life was coming to bite them in the butt and it was annoying her.
"Damian, I've successfully supported myself before just fine... Even without sleeping around ok? I've been able to hold up a successful job...I have a few connections that could get me enough cash flow to at least pay for the extras....I dont know Damian.. I'm just tired of feeling...spoiled?" She looked up at him, her eyes suddenly sad. "I mean.... Ok..." Sh took a deep breath. She didnt want to bring any of this up, but it needed to be mentioned. "I was elated when you brought my guitar back Damian... But-" She shook hr head. "That was my way of getting an education. I sacrificed soemthing to help myself achieve the schooling needed to achieve my dreams. It sort of gave me my independence despite feeling so dependent on you sometimes..." She hugged her arms together tighter.
"What you did was wonderful, but it sort of took away one of my last chances to do something for myself...soemthing that wouldn't cost you anything... I seem to just take from you, and I dont really give much back...And thats going to change. I swear..." She looked back up to him, her eyes and face sincere and guilty.
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:13 pm
Hearing her say that made his stomach twist in a knot. A cold feeling spread to his fingers, and he suddenly wished they could backtrack half an hour or so to when they were care-free.
But, he was trapped in the moment, and there was little to be done that didn't require facing this head-first.
"I was not trying to undermine your sacrifice," he said rather calmly. "I just felt that, your whole life, you'd made enough of them, and... this was my chance to make one for you. To have you hold on to something you held dear instead of having to let it go like everything else."
But he had even been wrong in that, it seemed. It had never occurred to him that she might have actually wanted to let it go.
"So when the papers come, what are we going to do?"
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:25 pm
Raquel felt sick suddenly, wishing she hadn't said anything at all. "I...I don't know..." She replied honestly, looking down,as if suddenly fascinated by the flooring.
"I really dont know Damian..." She swallowed hard, feeling her throat close up a bit.
"....s**t...." she breathed under her breath, pushing herself off the table gently. "...I'm going to take a quick walk...I need to clear my head a little..." She admitted, looking up at Damian, her heart hurting a little.
"But dont cancel the signing... I'll be back before then and We'll figure this out ok? ...I've just got a few things I've got to take care of before then anyways ok?" She offered a small, pathetic smile, backing up to grab her coat. She had planned on getting a hold of Teagan awhile ago to see how Nat was.
It would provide her with a small window to be alone and calm her nerves before jumping into these problems head first.
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:34 pm
Damian merely nodded and let her go. Making her stay would only lead to some kind of screaming match, he could feel it, and then where would they be? Signing off on a house while not even speaking to each other.
Once Raquel was away, he breathed his own string of profanities at the ceiling and walls. This always backfired on him, always. Before he had met her, he had tried to lavish wealth on Lorey, though she always refused it. Before her, it had been countless other women, who only worked towards a goal and walked away once they'd received it. He had been used, rejected, and now, with the woman he loved, he had completely overlooked what she had wanted. He had only been looking through the lens of what he thought she deserved.
With the papers being signed soon, he wasn't sure what to think of their situation. He, too, began wondering if maybe this was too soon to buy a house. Then again, it was a peaceful getaway, and it was always good to have a second place of residence, he reasoned.
Even if it would only belong to him.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:38 pm
Raquel took her time walking back to meet Damian. She wasn't really sure what to do or expect when she'd walk in the door.
When she went out, they...they hadn't really been fighting. It was more that things were just...tense and uncomfortable. But yet she felt as if things were crumbling all around them and it killed her inside. Even more so with each step closer towards the house.
Once she reached the door, she hesitated lightly, trying to gather herself before entering again.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:51 pm
As Raquel entered the house, she nearly knocked into the middle-aged woman coming out.
"Oh!" she said. Dressed in a sharp suit with glasses that made her vision even sharper, the housing agent looked absolutely ecstatic. With the house she had just managed to sell finally off her hands, she had little reason not to be.
"Sorry hun!" was all she said as her heels clicked away down the steps and off to the speeder parked in the driveway. Apparently, the deal had been done.
And indeed it had been. Damian sat inside on the couch with fingertips pressed together, looking blankly down at the table in front of him. Copies of the papers were there, signed in his name and his only. He had told Raquel how long it was until the agent would come, and she had taken her time in doing whatever it was she'd gone out to do. He could guess, though. All women flocked to another friend when things got bad for condolences. Who did he have, he wondered. Who did he have to go to when things became tough? Richard and Lorey were gone, and they were all he had besides Raquel, who he felt he was losing slowly.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:57 pm
Raquel felt her throat tighten up as she shut the door quietly behind her. Her eyes fell downcast as she gingerly eased her jacket off, placing it gently on the table near the door, making her way in a bit more.
She knew this had to be faced eventually so she headed straight for Damian on the couch. He seemed so silent and solemn, and judging by the papers, she knew why.
"I-...Im sorry I'm late...I wanted to check on Nat because he had been feeling sick and Teagan was worried about him and-" She stopped herself, not sure why she was feeling so guilty. That was the original reason she had planned a trip over to see Teagan. The fact that she was terribly upset was merely a result of bad timing wasn't it?
She wasn't so sure anymore. All she could do really was just look at the papers, swallowing slightly. She held this strange mixture of guilt, pain, sorrow, and even anger as the silence sat in.
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:05 pm
Damian knew that if signing the papers together really meant so much to her, she would have been there. Women were creatures of meticulous detail, especially when something was important to them, and he knew that from years at the ball room. All the more reason for him to feel the truth pressing in.
"I bought the house," he said as calmly as he could, and said no more.
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