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"That man was the only man who ever brought me true happiness." He ran his tongue along his lips, smiling with the memory. "Truuuuuuueeeeee.." He said it slowly to piss Tsurai off. "Haaaappppiiinneeessssss."

He crossed his legs uncomfortably. "Besides, that's what you get for being a friggin' snoop."

Isiah grunted. He ******** HATED straight people.

"Why the hell were you macking with your damn kid around? You don't 'have' to mack at all. Stop bitching about a problem you brought on yourself. The erection," He corrected, quickly. "You didn't have to ******** your girlfriend in front of your daughter. You didn't HAVE to ******** her at all. So shut up."

God damn dumbass white kid.

"Oh, like I'm some ******** exhibitionist? How the ******** do you all the sudden know all about my sex life anyway? And ******** macking in front of your kid is still ******** disgusting. Back in my day, we had this thing called decency."

Isiah was just going off on a tangent. Truth be told, if he were in Tsurai's situation at the time he would have just shot himself. Being able to carry on with a relationship after he'd ******** his mother would have been impossible.

"Just cuz I'm a f*****t I ******** around, that's what you're trying to say."

"Listen, kid, there's two ways to cure a homophobe. One, is killin' em. Two, is exposure. Even if you went into graphic god damn detail about .. ******** whoever. I wouldn't puke. Why? Because I'm not a god damn heterophobe. I know it's normal, and natural, and not ******** disgusting. Just like me ******** guys isn't disgusting. It's just as natural as anything else. I can SHOVE my homosexuality around because god dammit, I've kept it in my whole damn life. Far as I'm concerned, every time a straight couple holds hands they're SHOVING their sexuality in MY face, how ******** lucky they are. Nobody's gonna try and shoot them. Nobody's gonna call YOU a sick ******** for macking in front of your kid. Do you think I have the same luxury?"

Isiah felt like he was talking to his father, trying to explain everything. He was tired of being quiet and apalogetic. He had been his whole life, and it was WRONG of society to make him feel bad for something he was born into. God damned.. wrong..

Tsurai was the representation of every ******** who had ever turned their head when he entered a room, every high school jock who had turned his lip up when he took his shirt off to shower. Every b*****d he had to beat the s**t out of to prove that despite ******** boys, he was still a hardass, ten times the hardass of any breeder he'd ever met.

He was tired of feeling bad about something that he couldn't control, and shouldn't have to feel anything about. Should just feel normal. Like they did.

Isiah groaned. "How many years did you think it took for me to be comfortable with it, kid? I dated a girl through highschool. Four ******** years. It wasn't easy. I know what you're going through. Your body.." He paused, picking up a jug of water, unscrewing the cap before taking a sip. "Tells you one thing but the chemistry just isn't there. If I were to kiss you right now, kid-" He took another gulp, licking dry lips. "It wouldn't be anything special to you, like if I tapped you on the shoulder. It would hold the same significance."

He paused, groping his memory for reasons to help Tsurai understand. "Cyrus had all kinds of chemical help to push you along. Don't assume it was because a man was having sex with you. You were just having sex. Sex is enjoyable. Whatever he gave you.. probably made it real easy to forget about gender."

"That's because it's sex. But sex doesn't necessarily have a lot to do with sexuality." He paused. That sounded stupid. "I mean.. sex is a big part, but even a gay man can have great sex with a woman and never reach.. fulfillment, I guess. Sexuality is determined by.. could I marry this person, grow old with this person, share love with this person." He was feeling the distinct need for a cigarette. He dug through his pockets for the cancersticks, grumbling quietly before deciding against it. "Sex is enjoyable but only fulfilling if you love the person you're having it with."

Isiah listened to him, kneading his fingers idly for want of a cigarette. "You're too young to know any better right now, Tsurai. I felt that way too. For a long time."

Isiah pined over the young puppy love he thought he had with Cyrus, and how long it took to get over Cyrus'.. eccentricities, how willing he was to accept the older man's demands.. how unwilling he was to believe that Cyrus had been cheating on him, even after he had seen it.

It had taken years of bitter anger to push aside all of the angst that kept him from trying love again. And he knew that he'd never have the same pure love of his youth, with anybody.

"Broken hearts take time. Years. Decades. You might find yourself ready for love again before you expect yourself to."

"I have a very hard time believing that." He groaned. "Six billion people wouldn't just be making it up."