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 Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:35 pm
My insomnia has always existed but it got way worse when Ti moved in last year. It just, felt awkward trying to sleep in the same bed at the same time with them. I stopped sleeping in there altogether around November, shortly before Nick got back from deployment. Now I sleep either on my big leather couch, or Christy's couch.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:06 pm
man kyu is visiting his grandpa this weekend. wwhen he's gona it takes me a little longer to fall asleep, and when i wake up i wonder where he is, but that time when i'm asleep is solid and uninterrupted. i easily got 12 hours of sleep last night xD
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:46 am
@_@ My sleeping habits are all jacked up, as you might imagine. I have a really hard time sleeping at the same time as other people, and at the same time, I get desperately freaked out if I wake up and realize I'm alone in the house. I have this weird fear of being murdered in my sleep. I even live in a nice part of town with like, no crime, and I get really freaked out.
There's also my severe abandonment issues, so if I'm left alone with no note, and no way to contact the people I'm living with, I have terrible panic attacks. That's mainly what we fought most about shortly after Christmas when Nick told me he was leaving me for Ti. They didn't want to be around me because I was clingy and freaked out so they'd leave, with no note, and turn off their cellphones. gonk I wasn't clingy for the reasons they thought (I guess they thought I was delusional, and thought if I clung tight they wouldn't leave), but because I was horrified to find myself alone daily with no idea where they were, or what was going on, and we have a very high stress lifestyle.
Long rant/story short, I don't feel safe going to sleep unless someone else is awake, and I get scared if I'm left all alone and I don't know why, or where the people I rely on are. xp
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:58 am
xD i am well aware of that. remember i've been on the receiving end of all that panic before. i find it kinds soothing to wake up and know i'm the only one here, but hat everyone else will be home in a few hours.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:27 pm
im fine with waking up and knowing that mom isn't in the house, i actually feel better if shes not there. but i do have abandonment issues. *huggles i love you* all of you 4laugh 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:31 am
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 3:17 am
.. *hugs* I love you guys. crying I had a ..bad day yesterday with a lovely panic attack that faded in and out. Ugh..
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:06 pm
i hate panic attacks they suck
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 3:37 pm
They certainly do. I seem to be doing alot better today though.
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:34 pm
yay for doing better! xD i'm working on not freaking out lately too. yay progress and no panic attacks!
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:34 am
Hooray indeed for progress and doing better. ;D
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:34 pm
word. sometimes you can just take it one step at a time and hope the road doesn't fall out from under your feet.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:59 am
yea i dont think ive had one in about a month
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:24 pm
yay all of us! being slightly less crazy is awesome! xD
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:47 pm
Yes. Being slightly less crazy is a wonderful thing. My last three weeks have been extremely high stress and I'm coping alot better than to be expected.
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