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 Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:16 am
First off- I don't really understand your attributes. Like I said before, the Tenkei bloodline really needs to be reworked.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:28 pm
[ • The Rock star : Jutsu learned with using a Guitar and only a Guitar are - 2 post to learn. ]
Since everything can possibly be learned with the guitar, via Performer Class, this is too strong. I would accept a -1 post instead, or a different attribute.
[ • The Dark Tenkei: Ryuuzaki Bloodline traits can be used in for jutsu other than his bloodline jutsu. such as ninjutsu and genjutsu ]
Using ninjutsu & genjutsu with one's instrument is already an attribute of the Performer Class. Pick another. Also, there is no 'Ryuuzaki' Bloodline... & we don't have dual Bloodlines in the Shinobi Nations.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:18 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name:Alex,Cole,Webb.
Nickname: none.
Age: 16
Birthdate:November,21
Gender:Male.
Height: 5,5
Weight: 122 pounds.
Nindo: ""One day at a time."
Personality: not very friendly to any but his friends. lazy hates a lot of work.
Village: {i will find it sometime.}
Rank: Genin
Class: ninjutsu baby.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Bloodline: {going for it very soon.}
Chakra Pool: 250
Chakra Color: Blue
Chakra Element: water lightning
Strengths:
• Skilled with projectile weapons in every aspect, even returning them mid-air.
• my close quarters combat is better than the average of my class.
Weaknesses:
• i cant handle pressure well so the enemy can taunt me into a rage that makes me ignore simple things.
• my concentration inst that great and so fighting two to one i will always lose without a partner.
Fears:
• grotesque mutant forms scare the hell out of me making it hard for me to react.
• Fire.
Attributes:
•i can learn one taijutsu style.
• Slowed Pain Receptors: Flinching and other such feels take longer to take affect.
Class Attribute:
• C. Attribute - Quick Hands: Jutsu performance speed slightly increased
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 両0
AC: {Advancement credit} 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Type: daggers,throwing knives,short sword,bow.
Weapon Range: short swords range is 16 inches long 1/2 inch across. daggers are 6 inches long 1/4 inch wide.
Weapon Weight: short sword weights at 11/2 pounds. daggers 4 ounces.
Weapon Location: [short sword strapped across his back.2 daggers strapped to his thighs.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
•10 throwing knives in pouch.
• 5 half pound spike balls thrown at the enemies feet for high damage,results resulting in disabling movement.
• 15 arrows.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton {Start with the following six only}
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
{Your first element's name} Suiton
{Your second element's name} Raiton,
•
{Other jutsu type's name} {Bloodline, Kugutsu, Eiseijutsu, Etc.} {If none, remove section}
•
▬▬┤|G e n j u t s u
• {If none, remove section}
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
Alex is nothing special. his family raised him to be self sufficient. his father taught him to throw weapons of all types for hunting. he wanted to defend his land so is now inspiring to become a a shinobi.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:28 pm
Erm... well, aside your code being messed up in a few places; shouldn't your second attribute and your first strength be switched? P:
Your strength should be something like- "Skilled with projectile weapons in every aspect, even returning them mid-air."
Where your attribute should be- "Slowed Pain Receptors: Flinching and other such feels take longer to take affect."
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:45 pm
K i switched them around and sorta took your way of wording it. thanks for the advice. so does this work.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:03 pm
Mmm... you don't need to list your throwing knives in both weapon data and inventory, just inventory.
But... yeah, you seem good to go. P:
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:46 am
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Lupus Hari
Nickname: Cloud
Age: 18
Birthdate: June 7th
Gender: Male
Height: 6ft 4in
Weight: 150 Ibs
Nindo: " Hero's do exist, just not the one's your thinking of "
Personality: Serious, kind, calm, does not prefer killing but will if necessary, his friends are very important to him, friendly, does what's best for the world/ his village, looks up at the sky a lot, laid back, quite, mixture of positive and negative,
Split Personality: Serious, Dark, crude humor, hateful, vengeful, not that sane but enough to not be classified as insane, enjoy hurting and killing people, Triggers: People close to him getting severely hurt or killed
Village: Unknown(going for Cloud)
Rank: Genin
Class: Bukijutsu Class
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Bloodline: A Mirror Reflection - Hari Clan
Chakra Pool: 200
Chakra Color: Dark Blue
Chakra Element: Katon(Fire), Doten(Earth)
Strengths:
• Use with Swords/weapons(Kunai, Shurikan, etc)
• Stamina
Weaknesses:
• Body can't handle a large amount of damage
• Elements Suiton(water) and Raiton(lightning)
Fears:
• Death of someone close
• Having his necklace broken or damaged
Attributes:
• 2 extra Ninjutsu slots
• Agility moderately increased.
Class Attribute:
• Arrogant Skill: Able to wield weapons with slightly advanced prowess
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 両0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0 {All start at zero}
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon of Choice: Sword and shield. The sword and shield are made of solid glass. The glass is extremely durable and strong. This durability and strength will increase as Cloud gets stronger.
Weapon Class: Short sword
Blade Length: 3 foot, Hilt 10 inches
Overall Length: 46 inches
Weapon Location: Sheathed, across lower back, hilt on right side,
Weapon Origin: Passed down through the Hari Clan
Weapon Class: Shield
Weapon description: Its a small triangular compact shield that runs from Clouds hand to his elbow. It is a little longer, bigger, and wider than his arm. The shield is like armor or a second skin when in battle. This means it is attached to or wrapped around his arm. This allows for the mobility of his hand so he can make handsigns and move his fingers. The shield can be removed in battle at Clouds will or it has to be ripped of by the opponent.
Weapon Origin: Passed down through the Hari Clan
Summon Sage: No
Pacts: None
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
10 Kunai
10 Explosive notes
10 smoke bombs
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton {Start with the following six only}
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
Katon
•
Doten
•
Hari
•
▬▬┤|G e n j u t s u
•
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
•
▬▬┤|B u k i j u t s u
• {Stage progression / techniques learned}
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
Lupus did at one point have someone he loved. They always spent their time with each other. One day they were walking outside the village and were attacked by a group of mysterious men. They brutally killed her and made Lupus watch, not only that they controlled his hand and made him give the final blow. This traumatically scarred him causing him to form a split-personality. Shortly after getting home he fell unconscious to his split-personality and slaughtered his family. He had a necklace she had gotten him that had the face of a cat on it, her favorite animal. He cherishes it and wears it everywhere he goes since it is the only thing he has to remember her.
He stayed in the academy for an extra 9 years even after he had graduated to help him perfect his basic skills.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:49 am
For your second attribute, avoid saying that your abilities are increased by ranks. Try- "More agile than most ninja his rank." or "Agility moderately increased."
Mmm... and with that, you're good to go.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:52 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:00 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Motoko Ksanagi
Nickname: Ghost
Age: 16
Birthdate: June 16th
Gender: Female
Height: 5'7
Weight: 125
Nindo: " Silence might be golden...but death is absolute "
Personality: Cold and determined
Village: Yukigakura
Rank: Genin
Class: Ninjutsu
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Bloodline:
Chakra Pool: 250
Chakra Color: Purple
Chakra Element:
• Lightning
• Earth
Strengths:
• Elemental Ninjutsu
• Taijutsu
Weaknesses:
• Genjutsu
• Elemental Weaknesses
Fears:
• Death
• Betrayal
Attributes:
• Learns Elemental Ninjutsu in one less post
• Learnes Taijutsu in on less post
Class Attribute:
• Swift Hands
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Boostie
Weapon Type: Melee / Brass Knuckles
Weapon Range: Extremely Close - 5 inches
Weapon Weight: 5 pounds
Weapon Location: Worn on the hands
Summoning Type:
Summon Sage:
Pacts:
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
•
•
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton {Start with the following six only}
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
Raiton no Jutsu - Lightning Release Ninjutsu
•
Doton no Jutsu - Earth Release Ninjutsu
•
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
Kumogakure no Taijutsu - Shadow of the Heavens
• Stage one
-
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
- Motoko grew up outside of the Snow in a group a bandits since she was young, it wasn't untill recently that she decided that she wanted to be in an actual village. She realized that being a bandit wasn't as glamorous as she once thought and it was dispised all over. She left the group and made her new home in the Snow
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:02 pm
Don't know why I even bothered to check it over ^A^
Of course its Accepted.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:13 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:19 pm
Can someone please read over my profile again, it was accepted by Shin but i changed my weapon, I haven't spoken to the Kage yet so I think it's alright. I just wanted to make sure they were approved.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:22 pm
@Angels- Looks ok to me.
@Blasphemy- Of course ^^
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:22 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Ikazu Raiken
Nickname: 'The Rouge Bolt'
Age: 14
Birthdate: 8/31
Gender: Male
Height: 6'2
Weight: 160
Nindo: "...Strike Hard and True..."
Personality: Im not ruining the suprise
Village: Kumokagure
Rank: Genin
Class: Ninjutsu
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Bloodline: Coming Soon
Chakra Pool: 250
Chakra Color: Yellow
Chakra Element: Raiton,Katon
Strengths:
• Raiton Jutsu
• Speed
Weaknesses:
• Blindness
• Fuuton
Fears:
• Swimming
• Darkness
Attributes:
• Elementalist: Learn Raiton Attacks in one less post
• Raiton master: Raiton has two more slots
Class Attribute:
• Quick Hands: Jutsu performance speed slightly increased
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Type: N/A
Weapon Range: N/A
Weapon Weight: N/A
Weapon Location: N/A
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
• 10 Flashbangs-Kunais
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
Raiton
•
•
•
•
•
Katon
•
•
•
•
•
▬▬┤|G e n j u t s u
•
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
{Style name here}
•
▬▬┤|B u k i j u t s u
{Style name here}
•
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
Will Imput...when I think of a good one
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