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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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 Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:20 pm
"Well.."
Amuriel still seemed quite relaxed which made him feel a little more at ease. Perhaps things won't go so badly as he spoke about this matter then. Maelthra could only hope.
"I thought about... well.. me.. and my possible... problem. And well, I found out a few things that would be good... or at least better when it comes to it... The first part is that... there were no signs of the dark intentions at all before I entered the human lands... After I went.. and more specifically after I became and elder and after the part of my memory that is hazy... it appeared."
Pausing for a moment to collect himself and to let Amuriel digest it, he slowly began to continue.
"Which means I really don't think it's been with me for all my life... The other thing.. is that I don't think it can really come up randomly like I originally thought... I'm pretty certain there needs to be certain conditions for it to happen. When it last happened to me... another elder was on a murderous frenzy.. and when I saw him or even was near him while he was like that... it made the I guess what you can call.. a bloodlust bubble up in the back of my mind... I can't remember the details of when the first time it may have happened, but... I get this feeling that something caused it... It didn't just come to me..."
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:33 pm
When Maelthra began to speak again, Amuriel instantly knew what it was about. She tensed and withdrew her head slowly as he spoke, almost crouching completely under his wing by the time he was finished. She didn't like this... she didn't want to think about this... She lowered her head and trembled lightly. At least, she thought, she had been in such a peaceful state when he decided to talk with her, otherwise, she thought she may have had another attack.
"I... see. So, you believe it was caused by the humans?" she asked softly.
If this was true, then his actions were definitely not his own. The humans.. they did so much. If they did this to her lover too, even in his distant past, maybe she would rethink the few ties she kept between herself and their culture.
She let her mind wander to Maelthra. Not his fault, then. He was... innocent. Perhaps? And there seemed to be some conditions for it. Maybe... he wouldn't attack her... or their children... and their children... if it were caused by the humans, would that mean that it could not be inherited? She didn't know... after all, the humans had much technology..
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:39 pm
Maelthra waited a few moments to let Amuriel take in everything he had said before nodding slowly. With a bit of a sigh, he glanced towards the ground, thinking about what he should say next.
"I believe so... But I should say that it's a specific group of humans... not humans as a whole... The first group of humans I encountered I believe... The ones after that.. were decent. Some were good too.. All I can say is that the humans vary greatly... but I still think that it was a certain group that... put this into me..."
He tried to remember more, but he couldn't figure out what happened exactly with this first group of humans aside from the fact that he was feared and was deemed as a monster.
"If I could just remember more... then I would know more too.. but I'm certain it wouldn't happen randomly. If we know these conditions and avoid them... then we'll all be safe I believe... I just.. need to try and remember... but they're subdued pretty well... Whatever happened it must have been pretty traumatic.."
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:55 pm
Certain group... Amuriel thought. Then... maybe she wouldn't give up her human traits. Only a specific group had done this to him...
Relaxing lightly, less afraid now of what could occur between them, she thought of her mate's past. Exactly what had happened to make him this way? Like he said, it must have been something incredibly traumatic. Suddenly, she felt horribly for him and whatever had been done to him. Why would someone have harmed him so?
Carefully, she inched forward, still trembling lightly, and licked the side of his face. "I'm so sorry this happened to you..." she whispered, pressing her cheek against his neck.
Of course, there was still the chance he would attack her or their children someday, and so she was still afraid. Even so, there was also something about his words that was comforting. To realize that it would probably require very specific conditions meant there was a lesser chance of it happening, and to realize that it probably would not pass on to their pups. Maybe... she could move on more easily from her fear now.
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:03 pm
Gently, Maelthra pulled his love closer to him by wrapping his wing around her more tightly. He then nuzzled her tenderly in return, feeling her body tremble softly.
"It's alright Amuriel... it wasn't your fault... As I said when we first met... there are those who don't accept what's different from themselves... Whatever happened to me.. I can only assume it was because they saw me as a monster..."
Closing his eyes, he turned sligthly to lick her face in return. She didn't seem quite as frightened as she did before, but he hoped her fears would alleviate even more. Sighing somewhat, he leaned against her gently.
"Which is why I'm so glad to have you... someone who accepts and loves me for who I am... And I'm glad to soon have a family... with you..."
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:15 pm
"That's no excuse.." Amuriel replied softly, frowning and huddling against Maelthra.
Imagining him in so much pain that he would be affected like this made her sickened. She didn't want to imagine her lover being in such torment, and it confused and hurt her that someone could have tortured such a kind person as he.
"You have a family with me love... and children of your own soon," she said, keeping her head against him.
For now, she wondered... if the bloodlust were based on trauma, could it be cured with the love of a mate and a family? If it weren't... then she would have to face it. Either way, even though the prospect frightened her, she knew she wanted to remain with Maelthra. She wanted to continue proving her love for him, and she wanted to be a good mate and even a mother soon. Maybe.. she could help him. If not get rid of the bloodlust, then at least help him come to terms with his past. She loved him, and she would stay by his side as long as she was able.
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:26 pm
Maelthra nuzzled Amuriel tenderly, closing his eyes and holding her closer to him. Despite the fact that he knew it couldn't be a good then, he wanted to know what had happened to him. It would let him know more about himself which was good since then he could try and work on some of his flaws..
"I'm very glad for that..." he said softly.
This bloodlust of his... it scared him as well since it posed a threat to those he loves. But he knew there had to be some way to combat it, even if the way wasn't obvious at the moment. With a sigh, he shook his head lightly. That would be something to consider another day.
"I love you Amuriel..."
Now feeling more worn out from the day, which had been filled with pleasures along with a bit of pain, he wanted to rest. It wasn't easy to talk to his mate like that as he always feared that one day he would end up chasing her away, leaving him even more alone than he was before.
Shuddering, a chill ran through his spine, coming from the hazy depths of his mind. It was the remnants of an inner chill he once had long ago...
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:41 pm
"I love you too, Maelthra.." Amuriel replied, smiling faintly and letting herself nestle down against him.
The day had been went quickly for her. Maelthra's pampering had made her relaxed and soothed, but still, when he brought more news and speculation to her, getting anxious had still worn her. So now, with the night, she was ready for sleep.
Thankfully, she thought, her fear seemed to be getting replaced with determination and even greater love for her mate. She wanted to help him in some way, if she could. The fear of what could happen seemed much less than his pain. She hoped she could ease some of his own like he did for her.
Yawning, she lowered her head and smiled up at her mate. "I think... I'm going to sleep love.. Thank so much you for this day, and goodnight..."
With a wider yawn, she closed her eyes and drifted into a dreamless slumber.
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:46 am
"You're very welcome... I'd gladly do it any day for you..." he said with a faint smile before resting down to sleep as well.
More months passed on by, bringing each day closer to the birth of their children. Maelthra, though broody at times due to his speculation about his own past, continued to be just as loving and compassionate for Amuriel. Aside from pampering her every now and then, he continued to work at the bow for her. And by now it was complete. It looked a bit crude, but it was something that can definitely be defined as being a bow.
He wanted to give her something else as well, but he didn't know what to make or try and retrieve, so for now it was just the cedar bow.
On one morning, he yawned himself awake, nuzzling against his lover. The day before he had done some vigorous training, so he was still a bit groggy and sore from the doings. And because of this, he was a bit slow on awakening that day.
"Mmmphn..." he mumbled.
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:26 am
Over the next few months, Amuriel found herself growing again. As her body became more cumbersome, she became more lethargic. It became incredibly difficult for even to shift forms to eat or attempt practicing ice arrows. Thankfully, though, her depressive anxiety had lessened considerably since the last time Maelthra spoke with her about his condition; still, as her pregnancy continued, a new sort of restlessness settled within her, due partially to her own inactivity and mostly due to a growing fear of the process of childbirth. She didn't know what to expect for herself, yet the way she had seen and heard of it in the human world had seemed quite painful..
Still, her mate had remained beside her, helping her and pampering her. He had made her comfortable, happy, and usually seemed to calm her when she needed. She loved him so, and she hoped they managed to confront his own trauma sometime soon.
When Maelthra awoke one morning, Amuriel was already awake. Having watched him train the day previously, she knew he would probably sleep a little later, since he had trained so strenuously. Hearing him mumble, she lowered her head to his and nuzzled his soft forelock.
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:30 am
Maelthra mumbled something again before slowly opening his eyes, having felt his mate nuzzle him tenderly. Smiling softly though sleepily, he licked her face before letting out a big yawn. Then waiting a little longer, he shifted slightly and stretched out his limbs, causing several of his joints to crack in the process.
"Good morning love... did you sleep well?"
He had noticed that she had been more at ease over all over the past few months, which he was glad of. Though, he still could tell she was a bit unsettled about one thing or another, but he was a bit nervous as well. Childbirth was one thing he knew virtually nothing of, and he could only guess that the time for the pups to arrive would be very soon. Most likely, he would need to fetch help from someone who had a better idea of delivering pups.
Until and during then, however, he would continue to stay by Amuriel's side to try and make her as comfortable as possible.
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:52 am
"Mmm... I slept a little better. I woke up a few times, but I feel refreshed at least," she responded, breathing in deeply and yawning. "What about you love? How are you feeling this morning after training?"
Carefully, she arched her back lightly and flicked her tail, stretching, before lowering her self back to the bed and stretching out. She didn't feel incredibly good this morning. Her body kept sending her light pains that were more annoyance than anything, and something about her seemed to push her mind to being incredibly clarified. She wondered if today could be the day, and with an inward groan, she wondered why it could just wait a little while longer. She was ready to be freed, but the event itself was still weighing on her.
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 am
Nestling against his mate a little more, Maelthra nuzzled her tenderly while stretching out still.
"Mm.. That's good to hear love... As for me, I'm still feeling a little sore but overall I'm doing good."
Sitting down onto his haunches, he scratched himself lightly before stepping off the bed and turning around to smile at Amuriel. He couldn't tell just by watching her that she was in a little more discomfort than usual at the moment.
"So what would you like to eat this morning?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:01 am
"Hm.." Amuriel breathed out, her throat rumbling lowly as she though if she wanted food or not. With the pain increasing, she didn't want to think about food. Something told her she needed to ask Maelthra for help, but she didn't want it to be today. Trying to deny it further, she mumbled a response, "I think I'll just eat later.."
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Blade Kuroda Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:03 am
"Are you sure? You're usually hungry in the morning.."
Blinking at his mate, the black elder leaned forward to nuzzle her tenderly. He wondered if there was something wrong where it killed her appetite. Maelthra felt worried about this, as he didn't think it would be too good for their pups or Amuriel if she got sick at this time.
"Are you feeling alright love?"
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