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Hiroku twitches, spasms, and throws her spiky shoes at the new student who doesn't belong in the headMASTER's office.

Having removed the offending footwear, Mie's life is spared. Hiroku then scribbles a quick note:

Earday Iemay:

Incesay eway othbay ecretlysay antwat OreOreChanBay, etslay ietay imhay up-yay, andyay atthay 'ecretarysay' ofyay ishay ootay. Enthay eway ancay avehay ouryay ayway ithway imhay allyay eway antway. Okayay?

She folds this into an adorable little origami shape, throws it at Mie, and begins raiding Bore's chest of lolitagoth clothing.

Episode 3: ??

Bore sighs pensively while idly fingering his Harry Potter-type pensieve. In a naughty way. Bore wonders if pensieves can moan. But he wonders even more where the hell his secretary went to. The do-able one. Not Omarosa, who has been hiding in his top desk drawer for more than a week now. He pauses to open up said drawer and drops little crumbs of stale cookies onto her head and cackles with enjoyment as she screams bloody murder about concussions. Then he slams the drawer shut and clutches his head. Bore has a headache from Ben Stein's repetitive monologues. And Omarosa's shrill screaming. He wonders if it wasn't a good idea to allow them both to linger in his office. Bore wonders if this isn't an excellent opportunity to go meet the nurse. He wonders if YHS even has a nurse, as he has never seen or heard of them. Bore decides to go find out. But he ought to skip down the hallway in polka dot knickers. Yes, he should. He pokes Mie repeatedly until she squeaks. Until he gets a better idea. He straps Ben Stein to her back and drags her after him. "Together we shall traverse the innards of YHS and find the nurse! As they pass by his room, Bore ties a few pairs of pumps to Mie's ears. After all one never knows when one might need a good pump.

((Heeey. My singing is perfectly on-tune! >=o))
Mie, being dragged along, did not have to conciously think of moving. She ignored whatever it was BBC was doing to her and unfolded Hiroku's note. She read it through and burst out in laughter once she had deciphered it.

The headMASTER pretends that he doesn't notice the hawt student lingering in the hallway, while mouthing the combination to his secret hideout. At least, Bore thinks it's the combination to his secret hideout. It could be the number of ukes Bore has imprisoned. Or the number to his favorite curry place. At any rate, Bore can't remember which.

Striding briskly forward, Bore dictates Jimi Hendrix's life story to the pumped-up Mie. While claiming that it is in fact his own life. Bore notes that Mie is not sufficiently carrying his pumps in the approved pump position. He sighs and pulls out his aerodynamics chart and un-patiently explains how Heidi Klum does it. And then tells her to forget all about it and to go get him a sausage sandwich. And more bad penii jokes. That being addressed, he continues on his way to meet the mysterious school nurse.

The spastic headMASTER grabs the sandwich out of the flustered underling's hand and takes a big bite. And then spits it out onto a nearby uke.

Bore snaps, summoning one of his many Courtney Love clones. "Get me a sandwich, biatch". And then fondles her breast. And then the other one. And then the third one. "You haven't been teething again, have you?" Bore glares at the slutty clone. "Anyway. Get me a sandwich. And my Johnny Depp pillow. And tofu-flavored curry. And curry-flavored tofu." The clone hurriedly scampers off to fetch the headMASTER his various goodies. "Good, now we can be alone." Bore opens a side panel and out falls Alex Trebek. "You great big hunk of man, you." The headMASTER feels up the game show host of many years, chuckling because the Jeopardy host was desperate enough to go gay for pay. Unfortunately, Bore hears the slapping of Courtney Love's breasts against the teak paneling on the floor. "Dammit. Who decided to put teak here? It'll be ruined for sure." Thinking quickly, the headMASTER uses his modly powers to summon up a giant lime jellow mold. Unfortunately for him, Courtney's large breasts cause her to sink rapidly into the jellow mold, where she suffocates in a matter of moments because she's unable to make a fool of herself in front of a television camera. Also unfortunately enough, Bore traps himself and Mie into said jello mold. And the Sonny and Cher Survivor music starts to play in the background. Bore gets out a Denise Richards pen that says "Do it with Denise!" whenever you write with it. And a piece of human skin. With a large flourish, Bore pens Mie's Name and shows it to the camera.

Hiroku is distracted by the unusual, and not entirely asexual, sight of Bore, Mie, and Courtney stuck in a giant jello mold. After taping it to sell on Ebay, she runs off to the headMASTER's office where she assumes 'rightful' control of the school.

THE END.

Hiroku paced her room, restless. The jello she had seen, the sudden abundance of slutty females, the Bigfoot tracks left in the cafeteria ladies' spinach casserole...it all had to mean something. But what? And what did it have to do with Omarosa's deep hatred of Hiroku's mousetrap, three burned-out lightbulbs, and ABBA poster? This would require serious pondering. And that wasn't going to happen with all this racket. Hiroku twitched, spasmed, and shoved the crowd of students that had gathered around her desk out the window. They fell screaming to their deaths. Hiroku thought this was unusual, as last she knew, the headMASTERMISTRESS' office was in the basement. She sighed and brewed a cup of cocoa. Bothersome students.