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 Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 2:44 pm
She nodded slowly, trying to take in his words the best she could. Thinking about her family in such a negative way had upset the mare and now she just wanted to cry about it. She was truly horrid. A terrible...terrible soquili. Ah! Why would she even dare think of her brother, let alone her Papa like that!?
Abattie's thoughts caused her to blush madly again, turning away from the stallion. She didn't want him to see her cry...not after what happened before.
"My parents. Well, I know they know better than to do something like that to me. I suppose you're right. I'm probably just over thinking everything. My mind doesn't exactly settle...it's always coming up with new negatives." She stopped, and sniffled a bit.
"I guess I'm just...worried. That I'll spend the rest of my life alone. Not mate wise or friend wise. I'm perfectly happy alone in both those situations. Just don't ever want to leave my family..."
Family. The single most important thing to her Papa. And now, the single most...and only important thing to Abattie. Why?! She couldn't quite figure out why. She just...loved her family more than anything else. "Oh, he cares alright. Perhaps a little too much? I don't want to break his heart if I decide to disappear."
The small mare frowned, and turned her sad face back over to Antony. "Sob story. Sorry. I bet you're sick of me already. And here I am, pouring my pathetic heart out to you..."
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:34 pm
Perhaps oddly (at least for Abattie), Antony actually had no issues at all listening to her "tale of woe." Ever since he was a child he'd enjoyed listening to stories of family life; his good friend Dodger could certainly attest to that. Besides, it was far preferable to discussing "his kind" any more!
Her views were certainly different from his, though, and his thoughtful contemplation of her words was evident in his expression as he listened to her. The concept of a life without family had never really occured to him, nor could he even truly fathom what that even meant. After all, his own family didn't really "live" together, his father and mother didn't spend any time together at all, he did his damnedest to completely avoid his sister...yet they all saw each other. He and Nicholi were close, he periodically managed to track down his father, he knew that his mother wouldn't kill him on sight...it was all good.
Consequently, he wasn't exactly sure where Abattie was coming from, but it was weird. Weird to see her depressed like that over what (to him) seemed a trivial thing.
"Honestly, I'm afraid that I don't see where the concern comes into play, Attie. Sure, you might have your differences, but it isn't necessary to plan meetings, or to be around all the time to have a connection. You can live your own life and still be close, believe me."
Smiling, Antony reached out with one wing and patted her cheek, the touch gentle in spite of the natural leatheriness of the wing. "And it's ok; everyone's got their own little hurdles, right? Talking them over is theraputic, and I've done enough of that myself to know as much." Not that he was any authority, of course...but he could sure fake it!
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 1:17 pm
She didn't watch his reaction. Or rather...she couldn't. Looking like an idiot...in front of anyone was always a fear of hers and right now...Abattie felt like the biggest idiot possible. Why were her emotions so...ah! Annoying?
The small mare listened to his words, which actually made her smile. Didn't it always seem that the ones you never expected to give advice...gave it and the ones that you depended on...weren't actually ever there?! Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she was tired of hearing her Papa's advice...so she loved hearing Antony speak.
"Really? My Papa..." She paused, why did everything that came out of her mouth have something to do with Bairn!? Did she not have a voice of her own? "Sorry, I constantely quote my Papa. Anyways, he said his family rarely gets to see eachother and they're not as close anymore...but his sister and him still are...I just...am afraid of loosing them."
Her words seemed repetative...but that was all she could give. Nothing more came out. To her it was all one big confusing blur still.
Antony's next movements had not only made Attie blush that funny color on her cheeks, but it also made her smile a friendly smile. Not a nervous or flirty one. Just...a smile. "Perhaps. I'll bet my issues aren't nearly as terrible as those who don't even have parents. Thanks, Antony. Talking to you, is..."
There was no word to discribe how thankful she was that he was there to at least listen if nothing else. Her Papa or Mama would have tried and she would have just shrugged it off. A complete stranger...well, an almost complete stranger...cared enough to stay and talk.
So Abattie leaned her neck over and nuzzled the stallion on his own neck. Ah, she hoped that wasn't too forward...but it was something her Papa always said her grandmother did to strangers when she got happy. A friendly gesture.
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 5:24 pm
At Abattie's apology, Antony only smiled. She seemed awfully mutable, all things considered, unsure as to just what she herself felt and thought. One moment, she was energetic, the next unsure, the next confused; it all affirmed his earlier thoughts that she was...well, more youthful than his own sister. Though not in a bad way.
"Well, change is sometimes intimidating. Families grow, spread, have their own families...that's why we just have to make more of an effort to keep in touch with those that we care about, you know? Concern is understandable, but you really don't have to worry."
Grinning, he returned her smile with a wink, amused at the return of the corally blush to her yellow cheeks. She was certainly good at doing that, alright...
But then again, mares in general seemed fond of blushing. Must be a genetic thing for mares!
However, she didn't seem to take the embarrassment thing too far, not if she was up to nuzzling. THAT was a bit unexpected, coming so close on the heels of the blushing. Still, he found it more than a little bit cute, to say nothing of amusing, which is why he was grinning when he returned the nuzzle. "Don't mention it."
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:22 pm
What was that again?
Oh, yes. He was much better with words than her. He could do it, she couldn't. Whenever it came time to speak her mind...the mare just babbled on about something that to only her made sense.
"But worry is what I do." Abattie nodded slowly, laughing at her own stupidity. "I understand. I do, it's just easier said then done."
Ah, there he went off again with the wink. It was like their meeting had started over again completely, Abattie blushing...Antony winking and making comments. "Hmm, maybe I should just stay with them. My worries would be over if I never left their side, would it not? But then I'd be giving up my freedom...wouldn't I?" The yellow mare sighed.
Would she? Probably. Well, not completely giving it up, but staying with her parents would limit a few things. Especially with those parents being Bairn and Astia. Was it worth it? To know that they'd always be there for her?
No?
Yes. Yes, it was.
What Antony did next was unexpected. Perhaps it was going to happen because he was just returning it out of politeness. But almost instantly, Abattie pulled away. "Mmhmm." She breathed.
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:47 pm
Ah, the joys of indecision. Even the best laid plans of mice and men could disintegrate into nothing if one wasn't ready to act on those plans...
But he doubted that Abattie would waffle forever. She was a young mare, still trying to figure out what to do with herself; indecision was understandable. Besides, just because some Soquili tried to get out and away from everything as soon as they were old enough didn't mean that everyone did.
Consequently, he was good to drop the subject and move on, shrugging it off like rain. "So, Abattie, what brings you out this way, anyway? Random wanderlust got you on the move, or did you need a bit of time to get away and think?"
He made no comment about the nuzzle, nor did he look as though he'd even noticed it; then again, to him a nuzzle was commonplace and not something to really think about. However, her little murmur had him looking at her with a raised brow before chuckling once again. "Or none of the above?"
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 6:53 am
The sudden topic change made her smile. It was good that someone finally decided to talk about something much more...happy. But if Abattie knew herself better than she did, something was bound to go wrong. Possibly tearing down that conversation as well and make herself depressed.
Ah, the mare mare shook her head. Better just to stick with what Antony was doing, it seemed like a much better plan than getting upset. "Me? Well...I just..." She paused. What was the reason she was out here? This was the first time, apart from one other that she had been out...and that other time had been when she was a foal. "Call it a wanderlust, if you must. I guess I just wanted to know what's out there in the world, so I left. My Papa finally actually let me go, too."
Abattie laughed at herself. What an idiot. Having to get her Papa's permission to leave even though she was an adult? Although, it was more along of the lines of wanting her Papa's permission...not needing it.
"What about you?"
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:53 am
"Ah, wanderlust; that which keeps so much of Soquili-kind constantly on the move." It was a good word, too, evocative of just what it entailed: the all-consuming desire to be on the move, not unlike the all-consuming desire for physical pleasure that it seemed to draw its name from. Interesting to think how words came to be associated with each other...
"And honestly, it's sort of the same here. Basically, I reached my mother's height and decided that I was going to go out and start living my own life, and I consequently took off. Of course, it's been a bit since then..."
Grinning ruefully, Antony glanced from the mare to his own larger frame; he'd grown quite a bit since he'd left home, surpassing even his father in height. Granted, Nic was the same way...and if nothing else, it meant that they had little to deal with in terms of trouble. There weren't many people that were up to hassling a large stallion even withOUT the kalona traces!
But then, he supposed he'd inherited the need to be on the move; prior to having kids, each of his parents had been a roamer. "I suppose I wanted to break out of the confinement of constant supervision and having to answer to someone else. Though I have to admit, being on my own was quite the kicker at first!"
No kidding. Having to figure out where food was, where to sleep...yeah, lots of complications. But once that hurdle had been overcome, he was fine.
However, Abattie's answer had sparked yet another question. "So, is this an excursion for you, or a more permanent thing? Like, are you actually living on your own, or just taking a break from the family, as it were?" And hopefully she wouldn't think the question was nosy; he was merely curious. Having a conversation that actually lasted was something he always enjoyed!
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 8:25 am
That's not technically a good thing, thought Abattie. The wanderlust? Shouldn't be a reason why most soquili moved around, if they chose to be active...the least they could do was find a better reason. Right? But the mare nodded in agreement with him, she had no words to say.
"Aww." She began slowly, imagining him taking off from his family. "And do you plan to return? Or were they just protectors until you got old enough to leave them for good?"
Eh, Attie hoped that question wasn't too much, she was only curious. Having every intention of coming home sooner or later, the mare was curious about someone else.
But she understood where Antony was coming from, when he spoke next. "You wanted to be yourself without the background comments from your parents?" The mare grinned. Her parents wouldn't let her rarely ever cry or speak her mind-so being herself was all the freedom she needed. "Agreed. The first step away from them and I wanted back."
Her hurdle was much different than his. Food, shelter...all that stuff was important. But Attie was afraid of getting made fun of, and not being accepted. Although there were times when that fear was gone. Like now.
"Of course just a little break. I don't have the heart to leave my parents for good. Even if I wanted to, I assure you my Papa would go looking for me sooner or later. Just my break will be longer, possibly as long as I need." She nodded. There was no way she'd get away with never seeing her family again. Especially if her family was so large outside of just her siblings and parents. She was bound to run into one of them.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 10:51 am
Now that they'd moved past the "kalona" thing, there wasn't much that Antony was close about. Like his father, he enjoyed talking to others; also like his father, he didn't tend to have secrets. Consequently, he was able to answer Abattie's question without so much as batting an eyelash.
"Well, considering that all five of us are rovers, there's not really much to return to, you know? But I don't plan on turning my back on them, never to be seen again; I know how to find my father and brother, and while my mother is good at not being seen...she DOES have a soft spot for her kids. And growing up was hardly a case of needing protection; if anything, we needed protection FROM our parents some time...or at least their arguements."
In retrospect, he knew how hard those times had been for both of his parents, with Izusa wanting full support and Guilian striving to keep his freedom. The result tended to be an never-ending arguement whenever his father was around...which is probably why his father began to take his children places instead of coming to see them with Izusa. But ah well, such is life.
Her comment about being fetched amused him, at any rate; to think that a father would be so concerned about his grown daughter that he'd go fetch her back, regardless? Or would it be regardless? Grinning, he gave the mare a quirked brow. "Really? So, even if you were mated, your father would bring you back? That would have to be awfully harsh on the stallion!"
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:40 pm
True, his words were true. For him perhaps...because they made complete sense, but still to her, they would never apply. In a way her family was too a roamer...but there was no way the entire family would get away with escaping forever. She nodded her head as he talked, listening to what he said. "Well, I'm sorry. Does that bother you? I mean, of course you don't care that your family isn't like mine...but if you had the chance, would you change it?" It was more of a question for herself because Abattie didn't want to feel like a bad daughter. Part of the small mare wanted to be in his place for a while, apart from leaving her Papa...she wanted to know what it was like to have Antony's family.
Unlike her new found 'friend', Abattie grew up never hearing her parents agrue. A little snotty comment every once in a while from her Papa but that was the way Bairn was. He just loved to make stuff up like that, to make himself laugh. But all in all, both Bairn and Astia got along perfectly. A disgusting thought, the 'happy peppy loving couple', which she didn't like at all.
"Well, hypothetically, of course I hope you mean. IF I was mated, then yes...he would. But only on certain occasions or for good reasons. He himself wants to be free of his mother sometimes because of my Mama's exsistance, but she still bring him back." Abattie laughed at the stallion comment, "Any stallion would be crazy to like me anyways, so getting that from Bairn isn't that much more terrible."
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 5:02 pm
Huh. WOULD he change the way his family was, if he was able to? Have two parents that were together, siblings that didn't try to kill each other? Antony only had to mull on that for a moment, though, before he was smiling and shaking his head. His father wouldn't be who he was if he didn't play around, his mother wouldn't be the same if it wasn't for her bloodlust. Different wasn't necessarily better, and while what he had had its problems...
"I think that it's safe to say we both have our disagreements with the way things are, but ultimately like them as they are. Too much trouble to change them, maybe?"
The fanged grin that provoked was genuine, leading perfectly into the short burst of laughter her morose comment about not being mated. "I doubt you'd have to worry about not being liked, Abattie. Hell, I like you, and I'm not even..." Not even what? Reputable? "Well, needless to say, I like you. Probably not in the sort of way a parent would like, but such is my lot in life, to be beyond parental approval."
Winking, he took a step back away from the mare, bringing up his wings to rest comfortably on the back of his head. "It sounds like your dad isn't COMPLETELY unreasonable though, and that has to be a positive, right?"
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 1:10 pm
Eyes watched as he thought about her question and shook his head. So...he wouldn't? Did that make her a bad daughter, for thinking that a life not like hers would be better? A slight disappointment came over Abattie when he said what he said...she had hoped otherwise. To not be the only one to not like her family life...
"Yea, I suppose. Changing them would be too much, and I'm not sure if I'd like it overall." The small mare laughed, had she just eaten her own words? Hmm...it confused her, sometimes, the way her mind worked. Sometimes she even wished that was different.
Yellow eyes stared at Antony as he laughed at her. At her, or just...with her? Because she wasn't laughing, but it didn't seem like the type of mocking laughter that usually came in odd situations. A soft blush came once again to her cheeks and Abattie almost laughed herself, but stopped. "Well, Antony...thanks. You're the first soquili I'd ever consider a friend...if I'm allowed to say that. And I don't normally let myself have emotions remotely near friendship."
The mare nodded at him, her Papa wasn't totally bad...he, like Antony said, was reasonable in some things. She smiled. He was actually a pretty good father if she just gave him a chance and sat down to think about it all.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 1:35 pm
"For a mare who doesn't let herself be friendly that much, you're sure good at going through the motions, at least!" Antony couldn't resist the laugh that accompanied that statement; even though she'd been a bit timis starting out their conversation, he'd just chalked it up to nervousness at talking to a stallion that, for all intents and purposes, looked like a kalona. Oh well, you learned something new every day!
"But I suppose it makes sense. You blush an awful lot for a mare that would be used to talking a lot, in retrospect." Grinning, he reached out and patted her cheek wing his wing, gently, so that the spikes didn't poke her. "Still, it's a cute look; maybe you should consider keeping your contacts limited just so you can keep that up!" It WAS cute, after all...but he digressed.
Once again resting his wings behind his head, he gave his full attention to the topic at hand. Then again, that was easy to do. "So, your father would track you down, eh? That's pretty funny, since I myself have been lately trying to track down my father!" And he would find him, eventually; Guilian was just always rather difficult to find when he was either on a tryst or on the run...and these days, if it wasn't one, it was the other. Oh well, tracking him down was at least good exercise!
"Hopefully you get what you need out of the break, though."
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 2:16 pm
She blinked. He was right, although emotions were what she was all about, so that wasn't an issue. Good or bad, Abattie knew what she was doing with her inner feelings most of the time. "Good sir! Emotions are my speciality, you should expect nothing less!" She smiled, she didn't exactly like showing her emotions to others, but normally when she was upset or really happy, they just kind of came out on their own. This meeting was an odd one indeed...but one that Abattie felt she could use to her advantage. A way to understand what it was like to talk to someone so much different than herself and a chance to get in touch with her emotions. Not like she needed that though.
But she was getting used to his constant flirty ways, the patting on the cheek didn't bother her and much as it would have before. The yellow mare blushed a lot, like Antony said, but that was because she was usually always embarrest, over almost everything. Afraid and nervous about herself. Call it a lack of confidence, because it was in a way. "I shall consider that if it's what you want." She joked, "The blush makes me look younger, though and that's something that's not attractive. I don't want to be little, I want to be big."
Ooh, the small mare laughed at his words, suddently feeling a lot less awkwarded by everything that was going on, and just went with it. If that was the way he was going to talk, well then so be it. She'd try it too. "He'll be looking for a while, my Papa's got terrible tracking skills. And I'm hard to find!" Attie nodded slowly, and then continued.
"Alright, thanks. I hope I do too. And for you, hope you find your Papa. He cannot be that difficult to find...he's got children. That should always be in the back of his mind...you know?"
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