Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well, actually, it is. In film, many professionals consider it an amateur mistake to start with an alarm clock in the morning. In literature, the same holds true. It's pretty much like starting with "it was a dark and stormy night" because it's the most common, logical thing. If anything, it's even more cliche than that because of the fact that it is so common to tell a story in chronological order, which leads to so many people starting with the beginning of the day. Thus the alarm clock is cliche.

Adding to the cliche tied to starting at the beginning of the day, there is the cliche tied to the alarm clock. I cannot even count the number of times an alarm clock goes off and the character awakens to the realization that they are late for something...not to mention the whole "I don't wanna get up yet...(grumble grumble)" gig.

If there's any way at all for someone to meet the person that will either become their best friend or love interest, the one used in this blurb is one of the most common. I could rent 10 chick flicks and half would probably have some variation of the following scenario of "Oh, I'm sorry I bumped into you," eyes meet and the person thinks "omg, he/she's so handsome/beautiful!" (many of the variations involve the items one person was carrying to drop to the floor and scatter, leading into the whole "let me help pick up your stuff" and either they find something interesting amongst the dropped items or their hands touch when they reach for the same item, causing them to halt and look up at each other. If you see it in most teen movies and chick flicks, you probably shouldn't use it in your literature unless you're going to twist it and therefore bring something new to the table. Another way to pull off a cliche is to mock it/satirize it.

Some cliches about conversations in school settings are the cut-off being caused by a bell, an alarm, the need to get to class, and the hallway crowd separating the people conversing. In this case, the bell was used.

Kei, my suggestion would be to realize the cliches you've used and either try to make them work (which is extremely difficult to pull off), or ditch them for something fresher. A good way to break away from using cliches is to ask yourself how you can make it original. I'll give you an example by using your short blurb and pretending it was something I wrote that I wanted to de-cliche.

What's more original than an alarm clock/wake up scene that I can start things off with while keeping the same panicking, frustrated tone?
Perhaps if the alarm is actually her phone ringing in her ear with a specific and sort of odd ring tone it would be a little more unexpected.

How can I eliminate the "late for school!" cliche?
Well, if the phone call is her friend asking where she is because they were supposed to work on a project (of a highly unusual/interesting nature) before class, it would add more urgency/tension and make the situation a little less vague. Being late for something as important and specific as a project is more special and less cliche than being late for school.

How can I be more careful about cliche dialogue?
Well, instead of announcing that "I'm late" I could imply it through dialogue...especially through the phone conversation with the friend. Also, instead of reiterating the lateness, I could use later dialogue to reveal something more about the situation or further develop the character.

How can I make their meeting and ending of the conversation more original?
She saw him on the way through the park and, as she turned back to look at him again, she ran into and tripped over a bush. Later, he sees her in the hall. "so, do you make that a habit?" "huh?" (she turns) "maiming plants on your way to school" (her eyes find his grinning face and she blushes as she realizes who she's talking to) "oh...ummm, yeah, well, there's a good reason for that...somewhere..." (she gets indignant) "hey, and just who are you, anyway?" "I'm-- (someone in the hall with a can of soda gets jostled and the liquid sloshes onto his pants...sort of in the crotch area) gonna need another pair of pants." (he runs off to the gym lockers).

Well, those are just some quick ideas I came up with on the spot, so they're probably not the best thing to use, but at least they're a few steps toward being more original. I'm pretty sure that if you gave it some consideration, you could come up with something absolutely marvelous. Either way, it's a good thing to break away from cliches because people don't want to read the same thing a hundred times. They want to read something fresh. They also want to read something that's more you instead of mass media.

I am about to post the most amazing story you will have ever read in your LIFE! Are you ready?!

Yea I am!!!!!!!

And yea!!! Sparklers is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *woot woot*

She's one of our great post-ers...and she helps organize the guild so we don't overflow on the front page

same here, i can barely finish my homework,lmao rofl

yeah, tell me 'bout it. I've been so stressed because the year is coming to a close and all of these huge assignments are due one after another. It's like hell week X 10. *sigh*
at least I'll be able to go home in three more weeks. confused

hurray for being a high school freshman! mrgreen