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 Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:58 pm
A life without affection...how very cold and sad that had to have been. His own life had had it's troubles, but when he was younger he'd at least had his mother, who never ceased to lavish him with love and affection and remind him of how important such things were. And Hienna had a mother...but no affection?
Well, now he was here, and if he had anything to say about it, that was no longer going to be the case.
Turning his head so that he was actually looking fully at Hienna, he gave her a little smile. "Concern is good in its own time, but affection is something else entirely, Hienna..."
Now or never, Zaphiro!
"...And while ponderings are decent, it might be more helpful if I actually showed you. If you want to, that is." Was this out of line? Hopefully not, but given what HAD happened...no more assumptions.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:02 pm
The mare blushed horribly - god, had anyone ever made her blush so much? - and looked at Zaphiro for a long moment. Before she could think her way out of it she gave a small nod of her head and took a deep breath. Whatever he was going to do, well, he was trusted by the mare.
Though by the rapid beating of her heart it was obvious that Hienna was one nervous girl. Hurry up before I lose my nerve.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:10 pm
A nod! An affirmative, a yes; small it had been, but given how apprehensive he'd been, that one nod was a Godsend. She was so unsure on the one hand...but she was giving him a chance. This was part of his chance, to let her know how sincere he was, to let her know what affection could be like.
Last time they'd been together, those brief touches had been wonderful, peaceful, blissful. But then there had been a mask over them; a lack of realization. Now...
Well, he was going to do this right, this time; no freaking out.
That in mind, once he had gotten his approval, he didn't waste much time. But before he did anything... "Hienna, I just want you to know that if anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable, then just tell me and I'll stop. Because I care about you so much, the last thing I'd ever want to do is upset you."
As he spoke, though, he had moved closer to Hienna in the sand, and even before he was finished speaking he was giving her a nuzzle; a tender, sweet nuzzle that started cheek to cheek, but gently moved along her jawline to her throat and lingered, gently, just there.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:13 pm
Zaphiro would never understand how hard that nod was to give. This was different from the casual touches at the beach the last time or the easy banter back and forth. This actually had realization behind it and that scared her. At the same time the mare wanted it more than anything else - and THAT scared her too.
It was time for her to stop being so damn scared.
Her eyes sank closed, listening to his words as he moved toward her and nuzzled at her, bracing herself for the worst, even though it wasn't needed. The nuzzle was sweeter than she would have thought and it relaxed her more than made her tense.
A soft sigh was given as slowly, tentatively, she returned the nuzzle sweetly. It was...nice. Different, but nice.
"I trust you," she said softly.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:22 pm
It was so bizarre, so different from what he'd even hoped, but even the gentle return of the nuzzle was nothing compared to the thrill that went through him at those three whispered words.
'I trust you'
She trusted him...trusted him in spite of her upbringing, in spite of her own reservations. And that alone was enough to make his evening.
Lifting his head so that her was able to look her in the eyes as he spoke, he marvelled at how beautiful her eyes were, shining like two golden stars as they were. So lovely...
His voice still soft, he lightly touched his cheek to hers as he spoke. "Now, just lean against me, Hienna...and don't worry about anything." At the same time, he was lifting the wing on that side, offering his side to her free of feathers.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:25 pm
And his matched her own, she noted, when her eyes finally opened again. A small smile was given and she scooted toward him, resting against his side and laying her head against his.
Affection really was something nice, wasn't it? Her mother had been wrong. And if her mother had been wrong about that, who was to say she wasn't wrong about the other things?
Hienna pushed away the thoughts for now. She could sort them out later - after all, one didn't want to go about questioning anything they'd ever known when something so nice was staring at them in the face.
"Zaphiro..." Her voice was soft, "Tell me about yourself."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:29 pm
She was warm against his side, her lithe body fitting as snugly against his side now as it had back when they'd stood together in the forest clearing. It was a nice feeling, and brought back happy memories that provoked yet another fond smile.
Lowering his wing so that it covered Hienna, he tilted his head so that his cheek rested against her head. "What would you like to know?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:31 pm
"Anything you want to share...Everything." She smiled and closed her eyes again, savoring the feeling of closeness, "I want to know you. Anything I can. Start at the beginning - we have all night."
Her nerves were fading away.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:43 pm
Everything...well, that really wouldn't take so long to tell, would it? Still, if she wanted to know, then he would tell her. His head still resting against hers, he began to speak, his voice as soft as hers.
"I was born in a woodland region far over the mountains, about five days of focused flight from this part of the world. I was one of two children born to my parents, but my twin brother was stillborn and for all intents and purposes I was an only child." He knew that had been tough on his parents, but having never known that he so much as HAD a brother before he'd died, the loss hadn't affected him as deeply. It had had a profound impact on his parents, however...
"My parents were deeply devoted to each other; I suppose you could say that they were the reasons that I came to have the worldviews I now have. However, my father died of colic when I was still relatively young; still a foal, as a matter of fact. My mother took the loss very hard, as you can well imagine, and I myself was far from unaffected, young as I was. However, in losses we tend to become closer to what we have left; after that, my mother and I became even closer. She never even considered finding another mate after my father...she said that he was all she ever wanted, and that with him gone, I was all she needed."
A fond smile played on Zaph's lips, remembering those days when it had just been him and his mother; she had looked after him, kept him safe, taught him manners and how to live on his own...everything that he needed, really. But all good things come to an end...
"She was killed in a landslide a few years ago. That's when I came to this territory, as there was no longer anything left for me there."
Nothing but a lot of memories, memories made bittersweet by loss. But he didn't need locations to remember, and remember he did.
Smiling slightly, he glanced down at the mare. "And now that you've heard my little story...what's yours, Hienna?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:01 pm
Hienna listened quietly. How horrible to have lost someone in your life that you were so close to! She was silent for a while after his story before she managed to murmur, "I'm sorry about your losses, Zaphiro. I would have very much liked to meet your family and thank them for raising such a wonderful son."
She nosed him gently and then hesitated with her own story. How to even tell it? "I was born in a clearing...I can't even remember where. My mother moved us shortly after to another one that's a week or two's walk from here - at least, if you take in the sights. I never figure it's a good idea to hurry. That's beside the point, though.
"My father...I didn't know him. My mother loved him very, very much - I could tell each time she talked about him when I was a foal. But he wasn't interested in me so he left before I was born. I think that is why my mother was so adamant about not needing a stallion and that love is something to be scorned...Affection was nothing compared to concern or teaching me to be independent and stand on my own. So she kept herself distant from me. I'm certain she blamed me for her being left. Resented me, maybe.
"I was the only foal born, strangely enough. If there was another one, I was never told about it or met it. Either way, it was her mission to make me more than she was.
"She died, as I said, a short time ago and I left. I've simply been looking for some place to call my own. That's my story. Nothing exciting..."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:11 pm
It was strange, in a way; he'd lost his parents, which had been a earth-shaking incident in each case; but prior to losing them, he'd gotten to spend so much time with them, and even now he could still remember the little moments when they'd all been so happy; back when his father had first taught him to fly, to defend himself, to protect those weaker than himself; when he'd been able to win his first race, catch his first butterfly, find his first apple tree; when his mother had taught him to scent water on the wind, to make sleeping burrows in the snow, to survive on his own...
He missed them, but he'd first had them, and in that he had no regrets. Hienna, on the other hand...had lost without ever really having.
"Your concern is touching, Hienna, but I can't regret my life. I had two wonderful role models, and even though they're gone now the memories live with me. I only wish that you had been able to experience a similar situation yourself. Your mother may have had her reasons to hurt, but there was no reason for her to take out her own problems on you."
And really, it seemed as though she had. Perhaps the intent had been to make her stronger, but instead...Hienna had been robbed of all that makes life meaningful. "Sad as the past can be, though, there's always the chance for a brighter future."
Like in his case...finding her.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:17 pm
"Perhaps not, but at the same time I guess...That's why I'm me?" She nuzzled at him affectionately, "And...You wouldn't l.." OK. Spit that word out, you can do it! "lo..."
Christ, why was it so hard to say?
"Love me if I was different, would you?"
It was such a simple question to anyone but her. Why was it so difficult to THINK that way?
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:25 pm
Blinking a bit in surprise, Zaphiro lifted his head and looked at Hienna, that same surprise evident in his features. But it only took a moment for it to be replaced by the tender smile that had been dogging his features ever since he'd found her again. Leaning over so that he cheek was pressed against hers, he reassured her with words so soft they were almost a whisper.
"I love YOU, Hienna, regardless of anything else. I can't honestly say what would have happened if you were different, but as things are now...I love you more than I could even have imagined."
THe smile widened into what almost amounted to a grin, and he gently stroked her face with a wingtip. "But that doesn't mean I can't still be upset on your behalf, I don't think."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:31 pm
Those words, rather than scaring her to death, soothed her and caused a soft, wistful sigh. How she wanted to be able to tell him the same but she just couldn't. Not yet. She had way too much to sort out within herself before she could say such a very very big thing.
Hopefully her trust was enough for now.
"I...Thank you," she murmured softly, "I may not be used to it but...It means a lot to me, Zaphiro. It means more than you know." It made her heart soar, really, as cliche as that sounded.
"Thank you for being patient."
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:40 pm
In one sense it was a disappointment to not hear back the words he was saying, but on the whole even the smallest bit of encouragement was enough. But these words, the words he was hearing, were so much more than the smallest bit of encouragement. Coming from Hienna, they meant much more than even the most direct of statements from any other mare.
That in mind, it was easy for him to return her murmurs with his own, equally soothing voice. "I can be as patient as you ever need me to be, Hienna; but for now, there's no need to even worry about what is yet to come. For now...we can just lie back and enjoy what we have."
Having said that, he gave her another gentle nuzzle, then carefully laid his head down on his forelegs in the soft, cushioning sand. So much time had passed, the moon was high in the sky and actually moving past its zenith even now. Glancing at it briefly, he smiled slightly. "I can't recall the last time I was knowingly up this late..."
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