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 Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:35 pm
Nalikai chuckled leaning closer to him again, "Mmm..." He stole a quick kiss, "Perhaps..." He drew the blue male closer, "Why would it be a no?" He stole another, "Honestly..." He wrapped an arm around the blue male, pulling him even closer, "Who said I didn't want this in the first place?" He chuckled again, gold-green eyes intent on the others face.
What was he doing? He was acting insane! Why was he willing to commit to this one male when every other he had been with had merely been a fling? Why of all things did he act like this toward a numa he didn't know nearly as well as he had others? It was crazy! It was ill-logical! It was--amazing. Amazing that he even had the ability to act this way, he, Nalikai, the one who had silently promised never to commit to one again, to never stay too long with one person.
He was completely out of his depth and it wasn't just because of hims thoughts. He could have dealt with his thoughts alone; mashed them and forced them away, pretending that Kieran was simply a fling and eventually moved on. But when he was with Kieran he couldn't help himself, couldn't stop himself from thinking such thoughts.
"Silly, silly, Kieran," He whispered, smiling, "What have you done to me?" And he kissed him again.
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:51 pm
Kieran could feel himself melting into the black and red numa's grasp. Something about the other was so compelling..so...perfect. Kieran, in a usual situation, would much rather be alone, but Nalikai wasn't a usual situation. He was far from it, really.
"More like what have you done to me..." The dark blue numa murmured, his eyes fluttering ipen as he pulled back to breathe. "I'd never usually do this...I've always been a loner." Usually, it was no contact at all. This was almost more than he received from his parents ever. It really surprised him that he was accepting it, and that Nalikai was giving it out so generously.
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:05 pm
Nalikai blinked, mourning the loss of Kieran's lips. Silently though, he accepted it in favor of Kieran's voice.
"A loner, you say?" He repeated, and tilted his head to the side curiously before nodding once, "I can see that," he replied, not really knowing what to say. He had been that way himself, but only when he was a pup and not long before he had discovered the world in which he was fated to live.
B-bmp.
His eyes widened a fraction, gaze transferring to the blue male's pulse-point for a second. Oh...oh no...
Why was it surfacing now? Of all times to come back, of all times to surface and stain his life once more, why now? He swallowed hard, heartbeat quickening. Oh gods...not now...please...
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:50 am
Kieran blinked, staying silent for a second. He noticed the color dropping from Nalikai's face (there was some, really!)He looked nervous about something...scared, almost.
"Nalikai..?" The dark blue boy started, frown growing deeper and deeper. "Are you okay? Something wrong...?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:45 am
Nalikai's eyes focused on Kieran for a second then dropped to a miniscual point somewhere on the ground. His eyes were wide and he took long deep breaths to calm himself, trying to force it all away.
He let go of the blue numa and put his paws on his shoulders, pushing the blue male away from him, "Please..." He whispered, voice almost cracking, "Please go...away..."
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:57 am
"What..?" Kieran's butt hit the ground, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Go away?" He stood up on all fours, stepping back worriedly. But...I thought...why is he doing this? Kieran questioned himself, still facing Nalikai.
"Look, if something's wrong, I want to help you. If it's me, then...I'll leave..." His voice trailed off.
What was going on? Why was Nalikai doing this?
Worse came to worse, and Kieran assumed what he had feared. Nalikai really didn't like him. That's why he was doing this. Because he didn't want to hurt the boy's feelings.
Kieran bit back a hurt sob, his sapphire eyes watering.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:05 am
Nalikai shook his head, refusing to look at him, "No, it's not your fault. It's nothing you've done." He explained, breath rasping.
Dammit, why now? He thought, gritting his teeth. He had surpressed these desires for years, why in all of the hells was it surfacing now?
"But you should leave, right now, go right now, Kieran." He ordered, voice hardening. All he cared about was getting Kieran away from him, safely away from him before Nalikai could hurt him.
But he made a mistake. He looked up.
The blue numa looked so hurt, in so much pain and Nalikai couldn't take it. All he wanted to do was comfort him and tell him everthing would be alright; but it wouldn't. Nothing would be right if Nalikai hurt him.
B-bmp.
s**t...
What was he going to do? All he wanted to do right now was "taste" Kieran in a way that was definitely not kissing, at least not for the opposite party. But he was sure Kieran wouldn't understand it, hell, no one who wasn't like him would understand it. He couldn't do it, not to Kieran. Of all numas not Kieran.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:16 am
Kieran's eyes met Nalikai's which only made the boy cry more. Why was he doing this? Was this a sick joke? Was he just messing around earlier, and the blue numa's confession meant nothing?
"Before...I go..." Kieran swallowed another loud whimper. "Tell me...does what I said mean anything to you? Anything at all?
He couldn't hold it back any longer, the poor boy letting tears drip down his now blush-deprived cheeks.
"Please, just answer me that." His lower jaw quivered with held-back cries.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:23 am
Kieran was making this harder by the second and all Naikai wanted to do was stop and tell him that the blue male meant the world to him. But he couldn't, he wouldn't and even if he did, Kieran would probably leave him anyway. At least make it so the bloody male was to blame, so Kieran wouldn't be afraid of him coming after him.
His gold-green eyes widened as he watched Kieran break down and he couldn't take it anymore. He just-just-couldn't. So he threw everything out the window, caution, common sense, everything.
Cupping the blue males cheeks with both paws he managed to rasp, "Yes. Yes, you fool, it's means the damn world to me! You mean everything to me! Can't you see? I'm trying to protect you! Trying to save you---!"
B-bmp.
"Aghh-!" He pushed Kieran away, staggering backward, a paw pressed over his mouth, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Damn it all!
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:28 am
Kieran froze as he hit the ground for the second time.
Protect me?
The dark blue numa was so lost, tears luckily slowing their descent from his pitiful gaze.
"Protect me from w-what...?" He asked quietly, sniffling.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:31 am
Nalikai breathed, trying to calm himself, trying to stop and reverse what was happening.
"You don't want to know." He replied roughly, eyes open but cast away from him, "You really don't want to know."
Just go, Kieran, just go. You'll only get hurt....and I can't bear the thought of it being because of me.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:41 am
Kieran shakily stood up, tears coming back again.
Without saying another word, the boy turned away from Nalikai and ran out of the clearing, shutting his eyes and just running. Running as far away as he could get.
Things were just so confusing? Protecting? From what? Nalikai said I dont want to know. But now...I do.
Deciding he would figure that all out later, the male numa collapsed in a distant field, wrapping his front legs around himself and continuing to cry.
What just happened?
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 10:55 am
Nalikai watched him, watched him run away from him, heart both breaking and bursting with relief as he did so. He turned away, walking off in the opposite direction, facing the fact he would never see the sapphire-eyed blue numa again.
Life sucks.
----------------------------
Nalikai lay in the shade of a candy cane tree, eyes closed, mouth open to catch the air required to live. He hissed, running his tongue over the pretty whites that remained there, even after a week had passed since he had last seen Kieran. He lay there, dozing in the shade.
Well, dozing was hardly what he was doing.
He ached, actually, ached for Kieran. To be with him for as long as he could and never leave and--he ached because of something Kieran had. Something that clearly only Kieran could give him and something he wasn't going to take. Not in a million years.
His breathing hitched and he moaned, curling into himself and doing his best to stop the thoughts that threatened to overwhem him. Stupid! He shouted inwardly, This is for the best! ...It has to be.
He just had to deal with it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:04 am
This...sucks.
The poor numa sighed and dropped his head back onto the ground, licking a messy paw.
Kieran felt fatter than he ever had. He'd been just eating...and sleeping since Nalikai left.
I miss him... He mused in his head, sighing softly aloud.
I might as well forget, though. He's never coming back. I dont even know if he even cares. Gods....
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:59 am
A sigh escape him, as he opened dull gold-green eyes. He was bored out of his mind, but the only thing he wanted to do was be with the blue numa and he couldn't allow that to happen.
Damn.
He sighed again, shaking his head. Maybe he could occupy himself with exploring? It was worth a try. He rose to his feet, and walked away from his resting place, it was getting uncomfortable there anyway. As he walked, treading silently through the forest, he hoped fervently that he wouldn't meet anyone. Especially a certain numa with gorgeous blue eyes which simply begged for--Stop it. He gritted his teeth in defiance. He would not.
This this thought in mind he traveled on, deaf to the little voice in his mind that whispered that doing what he wanted wouldn't be so bad, and perhaps Kieran would be able to accept him as he was.
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