Telemarketers

[Waverusher Kobi]

... Get a paper cut and throw yourself into a sea of lemon juice! -slam-


( Telemarketer calls to sell you Hello Kitty merchandise )  

[Different...Very.]

*not minding what the seller is saying; very deranged*
. . . Hello, Kitty biggrin . . .
. . . Hello, Kitty . . . .
. . . Hello, Kitty . . . .
. . . . Hello, Kitty . . . . .
. . . . . . Hello, Kitty . . . . .
. . . . . . . . Hello, Kitty
Goodbye, Kitty.

(Telemarketer calls selling windmills)  

[LaLadrona]

(Telemarketer calls selling windmills)

please hold.

(Telemarketer calling to sell smutty fanfics)  

[Different...Very.]

*puts on Mike Myers halloween music and a Darth Vader mask, breathes*

(Telemarketer calls offering you miracle health juice)  

[LaLadrona]

Timeshares! Oh I would love a time-... Jhonny, put that down Jhonny. Knives are not for playing. Jhonny! NOOOOOO!!!
-click-
*beep beep beep*

(telemarketer calls selling spanish dictionaries)  

[Different...Very.]

Oh, yeah, that TV Satellite Service... hold on, please? *goes to look up the service online... skims it* Hello? Yeeeeah, so what is it about this service? *finishes their sentences* Yeah, I heard this one, pal. You ain't got nothin' new? I bought into that $#!+ and it broke down on me three times already. I'm done with that. You guys owe me some money according to the warranty, buddy! Hold on! Let me get my lawyer on the phone and the warranty papers!! *if they actually wait, hang up*


(Telemarketer calls selling remote controlled microwaves) lol  

[gothboi94]

no thankz bcauze thatz how my grandma died. the microwave kept on cooking her meal and the remote batteriez died and she couldn't shut it off and it melted down the house with her in it.

(Telemarketer callz to sell you shoestrings that never get tangled in a knot)  

[Parisian Loafer]

Soooo... how does one tie them?

(telemarketer calls selling cans of SPAM)  

[Mr Sternums]

(Telemarketer calls selling cans of SPAM...)

I don't care if you support Monty Python I'm not buying any!

(Telemarketer calls selling paper that never tears...)  

[Aristaline]

(Telemarketer calls selling paper that never tears...)

"I bought some last week and it still tore! HOw many times do I have to tell you to f******* stop calling?" throws phone against the wall, shattering it into peices.

(Telemarketer calls selling you you're soul...."  

[Mr Sternums]

(Telemarketer calls selling your soul...)
Now you listen here! I sold my soul for a reason. I don't care of Satan doesn't want it anymore! No refund!
(Telemarketer calls selling you double the money of what you pay...)  

[Aristaline]

(Telemarketer calls selling you double the money of what you pay...)

"my phones broke but they still keep calling! Im going to kill them all!" Rampages through telemarketers office, carveing there hearts out with a metal spoon.

(Telemarketer calls selling you Satan....)  

[Mr Sternums]

(Telemarketer calls selling Satan...)

Look, I'm a freakin' mortal, why would I want Satan? Telemarketers are at an all time high when it comes to nonsense!

(Telemarketer calls selling nobel prize...)