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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:37 pm
Severus shook his head quickly. "Not since you've been back in my life.."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:48 pm
Blushing a touch more, Remus swallowed hard. This was... difficult, wasn't it? "A... aah." It was... strange. This almost... hero-worship Severus had of him... "I..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:51 pm
Severus lowered his eyes. "...Remus, I just want you to know that I love you... And I will do anything for you..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:07 pm
Ok, THIS was what they needed to discuss. "Severus, please," Remus broke in. "I......"
This would be difficult. "I.... I care about both of you," he murmured, eyes glancing between Severus and Sirius. "And..." And what? What more was there to say...?
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:10 pm
Severus breathed out slightly. "That's comforting to know..." he said softly. "I'd feared that you hated me..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:12 pm
"Why would I hate you?" Remus blinked at that, surprised.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:15 pm
Sirius had listened to all of this, and unreadable expression on his face. He still didn't speak up though, didn't even look at the two,feeling out of place.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:20 pm
Severus bit his lower lip. "...When... you left me.. to go back with Sirius... Part of me wondered if you did it just to toy with me.. But I couldn't believe it. You're the only one who treated me like a person when we were in school."
He lowered his eyes again. "The day Sirius and I fought... Someone else who lives in this house.. I don't know the name.. But he waschasing after me... So, naturally, I got angry and upset.. And he said that you had left me because... I wasn't...abusive enough... And I couldn't provide to you what you needed..."
Tears fell freely from his eyes. "I thought you hated me because of it... Because of how I was..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:25 pm
This was getting frustrating and uncomfortable extraordinarily quickly. "Severus, please don't cry," Remus murmured, his mind going back to what Teil had told him of the fight. "Look..."
Look what? What was he going to say? He had an unresponsive Sirius and a crying Severus.
Things were not going well at all. "I don't... know what I can say to either of you," Remus sighed softly. "I don't know what either of you expect from me..."
It was... a heavy burden, to have someone who freely spoke of doing anything for you. Especially if you weren't sure... you could say the same back. But... Remus would try to do what he could for these two-- that's why he was trying to have this discussion. But it wasn't working... really...
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:28 pm
Sirius still said nothing. What was there for him to say? He had nothing to do with this conversation from what he could see. It didn't matter though, there wasn't much pressure on him, and that was more than good. He still felt awkward though, and he hated that. He always had. He did not cope well in such situations.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:31 pm
"..I'm sorry..." Severus whispered, wiping at his eyes again. "You wanted to talk... and I've just been doing all of it.."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:35 pm
Remus felt like he was going to break down, and he didn't quite know why. Perhaps it was a combination of the two extremes in the room right now. Perhaps it was the maelstrom of emotions swirling through him. Perhaps it was that phenomena Teil had been speaking of in warning, that when your body was frailer, your emotions became more potent.
"What do you expect from me?" Remus asked. "BOTH of you... what do you expect from me?" Things can't go back. You never can... so what do you expect from me? Why... why is it... so difficult...? "I don't..." --understand-- "...know what to say."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:44 pm
"I don't want anything from you, Remus,"Sirius said, leaning his head back against the wall. He didn't. Atleast, he couldn't think of anything he wanted from him. Other than be with him, but he wasn't going to say that, incase it only ended in disappointment. Another thing he didn't cope well with.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:45 pm
((Be back soon. Getting coffee)
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:48 pm
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