Welcome to Gaia! ::

An expression of blissful delight crossed Ali's face as she nibbled on a few more pieces of popcorn. The perfect end to a downright sucky week at school, it was. Popcorn and a good friend... how much better did it get?

"Ahhh, the good ol' anti-drug week, which about half of the students completely ignored anyway," she sighed, remembering high school all too well. "I'm just glad we never celebrated Mental Health week in high schol. Di-sas-teeeeeeer!"

The older girl snorted. "Yeah, they would be taking notes, wouldn't they? I've never understood why drugs were supposedly so great," she replied, musing the last part more to herself as she picked up another piece of popcorn to munch on. Silly people. Drugs were bad! "Anyway, what else is new?" Ali inquired, belatedly realizing that she was dressed like a total slob at the moment. Oops. Oh well. It was Friday, and she was at home. Who cared?

"Meaningless... maybe to them. I guess they just haven't found their drive in life yet," Ali observed. Not everyone knew where they wanted to go. Some of them had to go through a period of trial and error before they got to the answer.

She stopped, her hand halfway between the popcorn bag and her mouth. "Bored a lot? Are classes just not challenging for you? Take some classes here!" she declared, suddenly overly cheerful.

[~Reserved for continuation/finishing of the RP at some other time and in some other place~]

Sitting, legs curled up beneath her on Ali's couch, Randi watched the TV screen. She had been here just for a few minutes, having half ran here in order to be on time for their... meeting? Nah, in time for their playtime, for simply lack of another word. Some animals started running across the screen, making noises that set off a chain in her mind that led to her laughing.

She was happy to be freeof her parents' clutches this Saturday morning, and even happier to be here with her best friend. Looking back towards the kitchen area, some of her bangs fell in way of her eyes, getting puffed out of the way carelessly. "Aliiiii, you're missing the llamas!" Randi whined, grinning.

"Comiiiiiiiiiing!" the older girl called back, and many sounds of clattering, banging, slamming, and thudding ensued. An instant later, Ali scooted into her tiny living room from the kitchen, bearing a tray in each hand. "Mmkay! Ice cream and uhhh... I think it's apple juice," she giggled, setting one tray on the TV-table set up before Randeh and depositing the other on the table by her own end of the couch. "I was gonna pour milk, but I thought that if we had this much ice cream and milk, we'd develop an intolerance to lactose. That'd be bad, 'cause I couldn't live without my beloved ice cream!" she babbled.

Speech complete, she settled herself on the couch. "Oooh, llamas! Why didn't you tell me?!" she squealed happily, staring wide-eyed at the TV screen. Sure, some distant portion of her mind reminded her that the other girl had called her previously, but her excitement had quashed her memory. Oops. "I love llamas! They spit!"

"Apple juice and ice cream?" That just sounded nasty, didn't it? Nonetheless, she grabbed a cup, watching the TV. "Llamas are cool! Actually, most things are. 'Cept spiders and goats." She growled, eyes narrowing at the mention of goats. So EVIL minions of Satan, goats. "I like llamas much better, even though they look sorta like mutant shetland pony/giraffe hybrids. Man, those would be some messed up kids."

The randomness of her own conversation with herself left her completely confused, forcing her to trace back where they, if they meant she, had ended up talking about mutants and thinking about what a giraffe colored shetland pony would be named. How about...Jigsaw! The yellow spots could be the stupid missing pieces that the piece of crap $3 puzzles always had gone. Cheap-o the Giraffe.

"Yeah, a bit weird, but I didn't think orange juice would be that tasty with ice cream," Ali confessed, her eyes glued to the gorgeous llamas on-screen. "Ewww... how exactly would a pony and a giraffe like... ew! Just ewww! Bad mental picture!!" she squalled, trying to cover her eyes in a completely ineffectual gesture to wipe the image from her mind.

After a moment, she glanced back at the TV, deeming it safe to now look at whatever fluffy thing was running across the screen. What was that fluffy thing anyway? "Uhhh, Randi? Whazzat?!" she inquired, all her brain cells killed by either the pony-giraffe image or the organic chemistry test she had flunked with flying colors that week during class. What a strange creature that was running across the screen. It looked nice and fuzzy. She grinned and took a sip of apple juice. She liked fuzzy.

"I've had worse." Randi lamented about the mental picture, trying NOT to think of all the varying conversations she'd had with her friends at school. Her three buds had the most unnerving habit of making everything about ten times worse than it actually was.

"Uh... I dunno." Was it a commercial? She honestly couldn't say. Taking another gulp of applejuice, she tried to clear her mind of the randomness that floated through her head, but she found herself unable to. Music began to play at the back of her mind, making it near impossible to think over. Damn the voices in her head, putting on their stupid music when she needed her brain for... brain thoughts! Giggling, she caused bubbles in her applejuice, which consumed her fascination for a bit longer.

Still scarred by this terrible mental image, Ali sat in silence, staring at the fuzzy on-screen. Maybe it was like those fuzzy things that grew in food in her refrigerator, when she left something in there for too long. Yeah. Maybe that was it. It was a moldy-fuzzy thing!

Huh?

Shrugging a bit, she heard an odd gurgly-bubbly sound and glanced over to see Randi happily blowing bubbles in her apple juice. Wow. She needed to learn how to do that, yep. Her thoughts still pre-occupied with the moldy-fuzzy thing, she ate a few spoonfuls of ice cream, letting slip a giggle at the way it dissolved in her mouth. A random M&M commercial came to mind, and she somehow connected enough brain cells to say it aloud, "Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!"

Bubblebubblebubble. Randi giggled before leaning away from the cub, licking the applejuice off her lips. She watched the fuzzy thing with amusement, not even bothering to try and fathom what it was. At Ali's statemet, she glanced her way, pushing her glasses back up her nose. "I wouldn't try that with ice cream," she warned. "I don't think you'd want your seat to be all sticky when it drips."

The thought of sitting in melted ice cream did not appeal to Ali, for a variety of reasons. "Yeah, that'd be baaaaaaaaad. Nobody likes a sticky seat." Sticky seat, sticky seat! It sounded funny. "STICKY SEAT!" she declared loudly, giggling madly. Wait a minute... had she just said that aloud? She halted her giggling to think for a moment. Ooops. Oh well.

She watched the TV intently for a moment, waiting for her brain to rejoin her body in reality. It wasn't cooperating. "Did you know that blue whale babies weigh like three hundred pounds when they're born?"

That was officially random.

Randi giggled at her friend, tempted to abandon her applejuice for ice cream for a bit. However, she didn't want the applejuice to be all lonelified all by itself, so she obliged it by drinking a little bit more. Grinning happily, she blinked at the random statement. "Woooooooooow." She whistled, or tried to, failing miserably. "Poor Mama whales, huh? Glad I'll never have a baby whale." She paused for a second, thinking that last moment over. Shrugging it off, she went back to watching the TV, letting it and whatever little fuzzles ran over the screen control her mind.

Ali nodded solemnly. She probably looked like a whale compared to some of her eating-disordered classmates, but at a mere 135 pounds, she wasn't keen on ever giving birth to something that big. How and where would it fit?!

Nuh, she didn't want to know.

She turned her attention back to the TV, eating a few more spoonfuls of ice cream before something she recognized crossed the screen. They were cute, they were fuzzy, and they were- "Meerkats!" she squealed happily, watching the foot-high creatures hop around and attempt to scare each other, if that dumb narrator person was to be believed. "Awwww, look! They're playing!" Nah, he wasn't worth believing.

Meerkats? It registered slowly until a nice cartoon Timon popped up in her mind to help her along. "They're so LIKKLE." She whispered, eyes seeming to get bigger. Yeah, so what, she was secretly a three year old. She liked it that way. "Awwww. They're so cute! Think we could get one?" The answer was, of course, gonna be no. But she wanted a little meerkat scampering all around her house. Well... there were ferrets. Problem was, that would mean risking the shines and that was unacceptable!

"I knooooow!" Ali cooed at the TV, her coos escalating to high-pitched squeals of delight when a fuzzy meerkat baby scampered on-screen. Ohhh, she did want one. Yes, yes, she did. "I think they need their little social grouping to survive, though, so we'd have to get a lot. And they dig. And... yeah, they dig. And eat bugs!" Ewwwwww, bugs! Much as she'd love a fuzzy baby meerkat, she didn't want to have to feed it bugs. That was just ew.

After a few more spoonfuls of ice cream, Ali was processing a little more smoothly, if that was possible considering the way her brain was wired. Really, did such thoughts HAVE to pass through so many brain subsections before surfacing in a halfway coherent form? Like right now, her brain was currently processing through the idea of hyenas, and along the way, many random facts became attached to the concept of idea, said facts being numerous and disgusting in nature. She seriously needed a new brain. "Did you know that female hyenas are bigger than males?" And to watch less Animal Planet.

"Okay, so we get a huge huge huuuuuuuuuuuuge fish tank and fill it with dirt. Then we go get a bucket of crickets and a truckload of meerkats and we're good!" The thought of handling crickets didn't bother her that much. She'd been fishing with her parents and grandparents before, it wasn't a new concept. She'd caught this 'likkle' yellow guppy: it had been so CUTE.

"Yeah, I did! They lead the hyena society, right? Well, in the "normal" order of things." Everyone KNEW girls always ruled society, whether they were considered the top or not. Where this random knowledge had popped up from, she had no idea. She'd remember sooner or later. Watching the little meerkats, she pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them somehow. They could just fly to Meerkat land and buy a truckload for like... $10, right? That would be fun!

Everything sounded completely rational to Ali. Get a big tank, get dirt, get bugs, get meerkats... yeah, that'd work- wait! NO! The rational portion of her mind began to speak to her in big words, most of which she couldn't smoothly process at the moment. All she got out of it was something about 'limited space.'

Oh yeah.

"Where'd we put the tank?" she asked, loving the idea, despite its flaws. Who couldn't love having ickle baby meerkats about?! "Yeah, girl hyenas rule. That's the way it should be, y'know. Girls are better, so we should just be in charge of everything. And we should make the guys have the babies because they're dumb." In her sugar-enhanced mind, it all made sense. Perfect sense.

"In my backyard!" Randi answered thoughtlessly. Surely, her parents would approve of the cute little meerkats running all over the place. There didn't seem to be a problem. "We are in charge of everything. And I think giving birth would kill guys." She pointed out, cringing. She didn't know that much about anatomy, but she bet it wouldn't be pleasant anyways. The thought of giving birth didn't appeal to her, either.

"And because they're dumb, they'll hurt the kids more." She pointed out. Idiots with their X-treme sports.

Now that that trivial detail was settled, Ali's mind was made up. Somehow, they were going to get themselves a massive tank of meerkats. "I'ma research that online later," she pondered. "Meerkat babies!" Her grin widened. Yessssss! Life was good!

It was only when her spoon scraped the bottom of her bowl that she realized she had just ingested what equated to roughly a pint of ice cream. Wasn't she supposed to go easy on the sugar? Something about a heart problem and an anxiety disorder...? Nah, it didn't matter. It was only once. Who cared?! "Giving birth would kill guys. But it'd be nice to make them suffer. SUFFER!" she drawled happily, sipping at her apple juice now. Really, she needed to stop with this sugar, the rational side of brain told her. "Shut up, stupid science brain!" she declared suddenly, poking her own forehead. "I wanna eat my sugary foods in peace!"

"We name the first one Fluffles." Randi declared, putting her cup down due to the fact her mind seemed to be dancing a little bit behind everything. The effects of the sugar made her bounce on the couch eagerly, as if waiting for a game or something.

At Ali's demands of her brain, she chuckled poking at her lonely cup for lack of anything to do with her hands. "Maybe the brain wants to rule the world, so it's learning ev-er-y-thing possible!"

"That's a good name. We should name the next one... Fuzzles! And then Snoozles! And Buggles!" Ali said in the most official voice she could muster. "And the female leader shall be called Bob!" She glanced down at her cup of apple juice and then over at Randi's bouncing, entranced by the way the movements of the girl on the couch caused movements in the cup of juice. Oooooh... physics at work...

"Neh. Maybe. Maybe I should clone myself and then rule over my clones as they take over the world. Then I will be in charge, and it will be legal and healthy to eat as much ice cream and apple juice as you want! HAHA!" Okay, really, she needed to stop with the sugar now, even as her already-overloaded system craved more.

"And Mike!" Mike the Meerkat sounded like it would be fun. Mike... Mike would be her special meerkat. She would teach him to scamper far better than the others! He would reign SUPREME. Under her and Ali, of course.

"Butbutbut what about me?" Randi pouted, sticking out her bottom lip as her head drooped. "I wanna help rule the world." She thought it would be fun. Because then anyone who made fun of anyone else would BURN.

"And Mike!" Ali agreed completely. Mike did sound like a good name for something cute and furry. They could pet him and make him a nice meerkat. Maybe they could housetrain him too. Yes, that would be good.

She pondered for a moment. "We can both make clones, and our clones will work side by side! Or we can use a lab and my mad scientist skills-" She preened for a moment. "-to splice our DNA together to make a super Randali clone!! And then we'll REALLY rule the world!" Oh yes, it all made perfect sense.

"We can't make a Randali clone. It would be just... too... AWESOME! The world would implode!" Randi nodded wisely, somehow managing to keep from slipping into Yoda-speak while doing so. "We can rule the world and make a Randali on the side. Like... a hobby! And then, when it is awesome enough and we're old, the world can implode due to an overload of awesome!"

Randi did have a valid point. A Randali clone would be unbelievably awesome, perhaps too awesome for the world. "Well, we can like... do a clone and see how it works!" she said happily, clapping her hands. Her hands frequently missed each other, courtesy of a bit of twitching. She needed more ice cream. "You want more juice and ice cream? I want more juice and ice cream!" The sugar would steady her nerves and make her sane again. Yes, yes, it was all quite logical. "I should bring this up to one of my profs as an experiment, to make a Randali clone."

[Two Hours of Artificial and Natural Sugar Later]

It had all seemed to flash by, the hours of sugar-filled fun with Ali. Before she knew it, though, they were leaving the apartment. If you had asked her where they were going, she couldn't even try to remember. Zipping up her coat, Randi found herself bouncing on her feet, waiting for her friend to hurry up. It was cold out here, and she wanted to get going where they were headed!

Wherever that was, of course.

"I am coming, I am coming!" Ali sang cheerfully, her hands frighteningly steady as she zipped up her light jacket and tied the laces of her hiking boots. It was all so exciting, whatever it was that was going on. She stood, pocketed her keys and phone, tossed her purse over her shoulder, and then opened wide the door. "Let us be off, my dear Randeeeeeh!" she drawled happily, one lock of brown hair flying across her face by the breeze caused by the opening door. "To wherever we go!"

"Where were we going?" Randi asked cluelessly, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. Whoo, the wind was chilly. Still not as chilly as it could have been. Darn marching in the coldest day of the year: sometime in October, whether the books said so or not. Back onto the subject of going places! Hm... Meerkat tanks? She wasn't sure!

"I 'unno! We could look for a tank for our meerkats. Or... we could look for a lab to take over to make our clone! And we could make a disease to wipe out the stupid bullies," Ali declared, perfectly rational. Her logic was inescapable. Really, they should take over a lab. They should. She edged out and closed the door behind the two of them, turning the deadbolt and using her key to lock it securely. "So... where to first?"

"Let's look for a lab! Genetics sounds like a fun thing to mess with!" She smiled, pulling gloves out of her pockets to put on. Wouldn't do to catch a cold on their way to a hostile takeover, nopenope. "But where...?" She asked, peering about as if there would be innocent victims of their awesomeness creation somewhere close by.

A lab was good. Genetics were always fun to toy with. Creating new species, making diseases... oh yes. Ali liked this idea very much. "Okay! Let's find one!" she said cheerfully, walking down to the sidewalk. She glanced one way and then the other and headed in the general direction of downtown. "There are lots of lab place-thingers downtown. We can find some there, I bet," she added, tucking her hands into her pockets.

"Really? Y'know, it's surprising I don't know these things." She pointed out. Downtown... had she just never been there? Probably, at least not while paying attention. "Which one's the best? Any idea?" They had to have the best for Randali! It was law! Or, well, hers anyways. She glanced about, occasionally blowing warm air up at her face just to have her glasses fog up.

"I'm a Biology major. I'm supposed to know these things," she said cheerfully, strolling her way down the sidewalk. "There are lots of labs and clinics and research facilities in downtown. I know Gaia University has a satellite genetic research facility there," she said, her voice surprisingly calm and even for one so high on natural substances. "I'm not sure about the best. Have you heard of any at all?"

"I don't think so." Then again, Randi probably couldn't remember her middle name at the moment, so all was well and good. She bounced along beside Ali, looking about still. "Clinics?" Why didn't that word seem to fit? It was weird. "Clinicclinicclinic." Nope, didn't sound right.

"Clinic," Ali giggled, liking the way the word sounded on her tongue. She repeated it multiple times until it sounded muddled even to her own ears. She had just taken a breath and was about to launch into another round of chanting it when she spied a sign in the distance. "Clinic!" she said excitedly, pointing at the building and distant sign. That said 'clinic'. Sure, it had some other words, but who cared?! It said 'clinic'!

"Clinic?!" Randi jumped up and down in place. Clinic! That's what they musta been looking for. They were going to go in the clinic and make a Randiali! "Clinicclinic can we go?!" Like a kid to the candy store. Only, this wasn't going to be gummy bears. Not that her brain was capable of that thought.

Yes, it was a clinic. There was other stuff on the sign too, and as they got closer, some part of Ali's brain rang warning bells that this did not look like a science lab or research clinic or facility. Oh well. "Yes, let's go!" she said aloud, having quashed the rational portion of her mind. She strode more quickly toward the clinic. "Let's make a Randali! Let's!" she crowed happily.

Ordinarily, calls to her house that woke her up at seven in the morning weren't a big deal. Ordinarily, she would just answer, tell them to call back, and head back to bed. Ordinarily, it wasn't Ali on the phone asking her to come over in the morning. This had gotten her up and about faster than normally anything on Saturday morning was capable of.

So here she was, running in the cold to the dorms after leaving a quick note on the counter saying 'I'm at Ali's. Be back before tonight!' She knew her parents would probably be mad, but she was good for now. Her breath came out in puffs in the morning air, her still wet hair freezing her scalp off as she neared. Pushing her glasses up her nose, she stopped at the door, catching her breath before knocking.

"Ali?"

Ali, having been up since five and pacing around her small apartment, fairly ran to her front door, nearly tripping over several things in the process. Under normal circumstances, she was a slightly clumsy and forgetful person. Now sleep deprived and a bit on the woozy side, she found herself falling much more frequently than usual.

"Randi?" she said anxiously as she opened the door, though that was a bit of a dumb question. Of course it was Randi! She herself had called her friend to come over at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning. Usually, Ali would not torture her friends as such. But not being able to sleep and having a hard time keeping down food for two straight weeks-- plus having numerous aches and a strange craving for cheese-- made her anxious, and understandably so. As soon as she saw it was Randi, she opened the door wide to let the girl in, noting her wet hair. Why was it wet? Was it raining?!

"Ali! What's up?" She sounded worried, and, truth be told, she was. No decent person was usually awake at 7 on Saturday without good reason. At least not while in college or highschool. Her eyes were big and anxious as she entered the room, shivering slightly at the change in temperature. Randi turned to face Ali, shifting from foot to foot. "Is everything okay?"

"You're soaking wet. I'll get you a towel!" Ali muttered as she shut and locked the door behind Randi. She bustled into the bathroom and re-emerged a moment later, a big fluffy peach-colored towel in her hands. She fidgeted. "I... uhhh... haven't been feeling well for the last couple of weeks. At all. I can't sleep, and I'm sore. And... I got sick, right when I got up this morning," she said, now feeling slightly stupid as she confessed this. Really, it could be just a case of the flu. Or mono!

But she hadn't kissed anyone or shared drinks. Bad. Quite bad.

Randi took the towel from Ali, squeezing the water out of her hair. Her eyes closed, listening to the list of ailments plaguing her friend. "So you called me over to get me sick?" She teased, still frowning, because this wasn't good. If she got sick... bah. Ali came before worrying about school anyways. "Have you been to a doctor?"

Ali scowled just a bit, though the thought was just occurring to her now. What if it was just the flu and she got Randi sick? Oh dear. She'd feel absolutely awful, then. "Noooo, I didn't want you to get sick. I just... I don't know. I just haven't been feeling well, and I don't know why. I didn't go to the doctor, but... ahhh..." she trailed off, flushing just a little bit. This was kind of embarassing. No, scratch that... it was very embarassing. "Ahhh... I'm like a week late."

She had no reply to that. Honestly, it was like her brain hit a speed bump going too fast and broke itself. Finally, she managed to get out a nice "Uhhh", but it wasn't quite the response Ali was probably expecting. "Umm... That's not good, huh?"

Ali shook her head as fast as she could, which made her incredibly dizzy. "Nuhhh, not good," she mumbled, trying to keep her balance. After the world stopped doing whirly-things, she looked at her friend, appropriately confused. "The problem is that I don't know why that'd happen. I mean, it happens with stress and stuff, but I haven't had any more stress than normal. And I haven't taken any new meds, and I'm not on birth control or anything. And... yeah... no boyfriends. At least... I don't... think... so..." she trailed off again, looking so very lost with this whole issue.

"Wouldn't you know if you had a boyfriend?" It seemed like an obvious question... Randi shook her head as well, trying to clear the random thoughts running through her head like insane meerkats. Meerkats?! What the heck? She hadn't seen anything on meerkats since she'd been here the last time... And then there was that big ole hole in the world where she had no idea what happened. Gar. Not good... Anyways, back to Ali! She pinched one of her fingers enough to bring her out of her thoughts.

"Well, I'd think so, yes!" Ali said emphatically, planting her hands on her hips and assuming a, 'Do you think I'm stupid??' stance. Then she drooped a bit to look noticeably nervous. "But... ahhh... there is this one night that I can't really remember much of. I mean, I think you came over to visit and watch TV, but I don't remember. I remember us planning it, but I don't remember that... night... exactly..."

At the new posture, Randi stepped slightly away. She didn't want to get hit, after all. "I remember coming over. We were watching TV and...eating, I think. But then we left." And yep, that was all. Well, that and meerkats, but she didn't want to be THAT random. "There's a huge hole. Not fun." She muttered, pushing her glasses up her nose as they slipped again.

"Big hole," Ali agreed, looking very confused. She stood silently for a moment, deep in thought. Llamas. Why llamas? Why was that coming to mind? "Ummm.. yeah. Come on in," she said, trudging her way into the kitchen. "I need food. I can't think on an empty stomach." She needed something with bread. Bread was good. Toast... or bagel... or maybe pancakes? With chocolate. And maruschino cherries!

Dear God, what was happening to her brain? It was ruined!!

"Allright. I'm not hungry. Ate late last night." She shrugged, still puzzling over Ali's sickness. It was confusing. Following the older girl deeper into the dorm lair, she caught herself looking at the living room for inspiration as to the dirt that belonged in the big hole. Her traitorous shoe strings, which had been plotting her demise since she had stolen the shoes from her mother, snuck underneath her next step. For one moment, she was balanced, but then gravity kicked her and brought her forward down.

Cringing after the thud, she pushed herself up to her knees, picking up her glasses from where they'd flown off to. Feeling something else there, she peered through the bluriness. Randi spied something... white. And square. Putting back on the only thing saving her from blindness, she searched the face of the piece of paper, the place on ehr body she had landed on throbbing dully, though not protesting much. It was used to this by now.

"...Soul Maternity Clinic? What on Earth?"

Having retrieved half a bagel from her cupboard, Ali found herself gnawing on the hard bread product as she wandered aimlessly about her surprisingly-neat kitchen. It didn't even taste that good, but it kept her mouth happy and would make her stomach feel better, maybe. She was in the middle of searching for some anti-nausea medicine somewhere when she heard Randi's thud.

"Randi??" she asked anxiously, scooting her way into the living room. Upon seeing that her friend was, indeed, mostly in one piece, she smiled faintly. "You okay? Whatcha got?" she asked, stepping closer to see if she could read that paper. Where were her glasses when she needed them??

"I'm okay... but what's this?" She asked, holding the paper up for Ali. "What's a Soul Maternity Clinic?" Clinic... that was a weird word. Clinicclinicclinic... STOP IT. Another small pinch kept her head from wandering about, but not for long. Curiously, she pointed at a date on the little sheet. "Check up date? Is your soul having a baby?" Wow... that sounded weirder than clinic...

"Clinic is... umm... like a lab, sort of, but they do health stuff. Maternity clinic means babies," Ali said, frowning considerably, her rock-hard bagel still clutched in one hand. She leaned over to peer at the paper, reading through it. Clinic... check-up... maternity... it looked like a receipt. She glanced up at the printing date on the receipt and promptly dropped her bagel.

That was the night of The Hole.

"Oh crap."

Randi nodded, though what Ali was talking about sort of didn't click... until the martians who had her brain put the puzzle pieces together. Her eyes widened, hand growing tighter on the receipt. "That's not possible... Is it? I mean... Then... What?" Oh great... It's on fire. Frakkin' martians, not doing their jobs.

"I don't know. I don't... know," Ali meeped quietly, staring wide-eyed at the receipt. She bent down to retrieve her bagel and absentmindedly brushed the invisible dirt off of it. "I... uhh... I'm not sure what exactly happened.... at all. I don't... oh dear. You don't think we actually went to the clinic and stuff, did we? I mean, we'd have had to sign papers and stuff. And... had procedures. And... they probably stuck probes in us or something. Maybe." Her brain was totally not processing this. She couldn't possibly be... no, she wouldn't even THINK that wordl.

"We? How? I'm a girl too!" Randi said, baffled beyond all belief. "Us? Butbutbut..." If this wasn't a nightmare... or if she wasn't the one... God in heaven, her mother was going to KILL her. "Uhhhhh... Not good. Definately not good!" She declared quietly, standing up despite small pains in her body.

"I know! That's why it doesn't make sense..." Ali said, very carefully sitting down on the couch, looking unnaturally stiff. She couldn't be pregnant. Oh crap, she just thought the word. She just thought the word! "No, it's not good. But... how do we... know... for sure? I mean... ummm... maybe... maybe it was a mistake!"

Ha. Fat chance of that. Their names were on that damned receipt.

"Home pregnancy test?" For the love of God, think before you talk! Part of her mind kicked out, angry with the teenager. "My mom is going to kill me. Us. Meus." She observed, leaning against a nearby wall. What were they gonna do...

Why hadn't she thought of that? Ali cursed herself a fool. Trouble was, she didn't have any of those lying around. Or did she? Maybe her dumb former roomie (a promiscuous little witch) had left some lying around. Emboldened, she left her half-eaten bagel on the table, and trotted her way down the hall to her bathroom. She opened the vanity beneath the sink and proceeded to rifle through it.

"Well... it can't be that bad, can it?" she called cheerfully. "I mean... maybe this is all a practical joke, right?" Yeah. Right.

"The practical joker picked a time we can't remember, left an address, name, and time for a check-up on an official looking receipt... Wow. They went so much out of their way stalking us and committing time, I say they deserve a standing ovation." Where had that come from? She remained in the front room, still rolling the shock around in her head. She would have demanded that no one be told she was involved, but no... If this was the truth, she wasn't ducking out. Suddenly she chuckled, calling down the hall.

"If it's not a joke, we have successfully created the most hyperactive, ADD ridden child ever to walk to planet."

"They deserve a medal too... in the sport of totally freaking me out!" Ali added thoughtfully, cheering aloud as she found the necessary... object... beneath the sink. What were the chances of a false positive on this? Like.... .3%?? Yeah, no way there was going to be a false positive. Shutting the bathroom door, she followed the instructions on the box, emerging from the bathroom about a minute later with the stick held gingerly in one newly-washed hand. She got out just in time to hear Randi's comment.

"HA! The poor kid will be picked on soooo much in school," she chortled, padding her way into the kitchen. "Two minutes and thirty seconds left before I get to look!"

Randi smiled and shook her head. "Nuh-uh! Kid gets to bite whoever attack's 'em first. Convinces them they has rabies and poof! No more childhood issues!" She beamed, though she could almost hear her heart in her ears. Sending up several thousand prayers for a negative, she walked slowly to the couch and plopped down, nervous as could be. "Well, except for a therapist... Naaaah." Jokejokejoke... made everything better...

Ali grinned. "Biting is goooood! And kicking. We like kicking, especially with steel-toed hiking boots!" Haha. Yes, let's all laugh and forget the fact that we're waiting on the results of our future here... she thought glumly, very carefully setting the stick down on the table and pacing back and forth. One minute left. "Therapist for... speech. Hyperness. GENIUS!" she declared with a show of completely false bravado. Oh, they were so dead. Please, let it be negative.

"Kicking! How could I forget? Of course they can kick!" She fidgeted slightly from her seat, shifting about as she couldn't get comfortable. She hasn't been this nervous since... well, ever. "Therapist for speech?" Randi raised an eyebrow, glancing at Ali. She was ignoring the butterflies. It was going to be negative. Had to be. Hadtohadtohadto.

"Kicking is good," Ali commented needlessly, pacing back and forth, back and forth. At this rate, she'd wear a path in her floor.

Oh wait, it was just linoleum flooring. Never mind.

"I dunno. The thought just came to me!" she protested, feeling very stupid and brain- what was that word, when nothing in your brain worked right? Oh yes: brain dead. She glanced at the digital clock and saw the numbers click over. Yes. Three minutes. She edged closer to the table, not quite looking at the stick yet. "Randi?" Trynottopanictrynottopanic.

At her name, Randi stood and walked over to the kitchen, being very careful to not repeat the little mistake she had last time and slip. She didn't want to know what she'd find next time, and it had hurt, even if her body apparently believed it could float mid-air. "What is it?" She asked, too afraid to look for herself.

Ali swallowed and gave Randi a pathetic look. "I haven't looked yet," she meeped quietly. "One line for negative. Two for positive." She edged closer to the table, looking uncharacteristically small and nervous. Leaning over, she peeked at the stick, her back to her friend for the moment. It took the implication of the result just a moment to sink in, and then she managed to utter a very quiet squeak.

Two lines.

She had to look. She knew the answer before she peered over Ali's shoulder, but she just had to see for herself. Sure enough, the two lines were there, and her heart came to a screeching halt as the reality sank in. It recovered, though Randi couldn't imagine how. She was dead. They were dead, both of them. "Well..." She managed quietly, though her brain had ceased most activities, as if preparing itself for a forever without use.

Ali just barely managed to sit herself in one of her kitchen chairs. She looked, and felt, rather green, her eyes wide and unblinking. Surprisingly, her heart wasn't racing out of control. In fact, it felt like it was beating more slowly than usual, probably damaged by the shock. She felt herself trying to put together a coherent thought, but they just weren't coming together. After a few moments of stunned silence, she managed to get out one word.

"Oops."

The world was spinning slightly... like... more than usual. Oops. Oops about summed it all up well. Almost. This was like... the biggest Oops ever invented in the history of Oopses. Swaying on her feet, she tried to think. Someone in the back of her mind felt like chorusing the 'Deaddeaddead' thing, which was not helping matters.

Finally a reflex she'd been using since she was little nudged on, and she managed to spurt out the two words she probably used more often than any other phrase. "I'm sorry."

Finally recovering a few higher brain functions, Ali managed to shake her head. "Nuhh... don't be. I'm the one who's supposed to be all adult-like and mature. It was probably me who signed the papers and okayed the whole enchilada..." she said solemnly, feeling quite disgusted with herself. Ugh... this was why she didn't drink, so she didn't make bad choices! Instead, she'd gotten herself intoxicated on sugar and did something dumb. Oh dear. How was she going to manage this?! "I'm sorry, for... likely... getting us into this... uhhh... situation," she added, resting her elbows on the table and dropping her chin onto her hands. She wasn't crying; this surprised her. But then again... this was good.

"Well... we're both at fault. No way they coulda taken my DNA or whatever without my consent." There it was! Her brain was warming back up from the frigid dead-ness it had been suffering a few moments ago. Science! Without Mrs. Frey, it about made everything a little bit better. "My mom's gonna kill me." Had she said that already? Oh well. It was important. Randi sighed, brushing her bangs out of her face. What more was there to say?

"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be the responsible one!" Ali grumbled, hating the accusing ring to that word. Oh, it made her sound so... bad. Evil. Irresponsible.

Wait, wasn't that- no, she wasn't even going to try translating her brain at the moment.

She snorted softly at Randi's announcement. "Yeah, my mom's gonna kill me too. I mean, I'm still in school, and I don't have a full-time job. I don't know anything about raising kids, except not to drop 'em or feed 'em lots of sugar. And we know how well I put those lessons into practice, yeah..."

"And I'm not? I'm gonna be..." Dear God in heaven. She hadn't thought about that. Frick it, she wasn't even sixteen yet. "A junior next year in high school. I haven't learned the lesson about getting someone pregnant, yet, there's no hope for me. I belong in McDonald's." She shook her head, glancing at Ali.

"Well, we learn from our mistakes." Suddenly, something chimed in the back of her head. It was a voice, just... softly poking memory up from the bottom of a murky lake.

"God... doesn't make mistakes."

"Yeah, well, this is a pretty steep learning curve, I think!" Ali groused, trying not to think too much about her impending doom. Parental units were gonna freak, and she just wasn't ready to be a .... mother. Oh, that was a SCARY word!

At the last statement, she gave her friend a sidelong glance, looking a tad annoyed. "Obviously not. Maybe this is His way of telling me that He isn't done messing with my life quite yet." She snorted. "God and I are currently at odds." She glanced down at her still-flat belly. "I think He's winning."

"You think?" She was already dreading telling her mother. She couldn't let Dad be the first to know, that was obvious. Or the grandparents. No... she had to talk to Mom alone. Randi sighed again. This was going to be a deep, deep mess. Then again... maybe not.

"Whatever His purpose is... I trust it." Blind faith was sometimes all she had. Shoot, it had been operating her head since she had been about fourteen. She had learned to live with it.

"You know I'm gonna help, right?" Way to go, just scare her even more. Probably drop it on its head. Typical. After the grace recently exhibited, I'm surprised she's not told me to go away yet.

"Just a bit. I'm gonna have to check out a lotta library books," Ali said thoughtfully, lost for a moment in that near-orgasmic bliss of thinking about reading. Then reality hit hard along with Randeh's next comment. "Yooooooou can do that. I don't think that's gonna fly for me, though," she sighed, looking pained at the very idea. It sucked being scientifically-minded. And depressed. And cranky.

And pregnant. Oh gosh, that was frightening just to think about.

She glanced at her friend. "You are?" She blinked, looking a bit confused.

"Fine. You can just be a little heathen." Randi smiled slightly, trying to joke. Trying to make it happy. It was impossible. This whole... thing was. Impossible, and scary. Really scary.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" She sounded surprised. "I'm the kid's mother... father... Mofer. And you're my best friend, even if I wasn't gonna be Mofer. Of course I'm gonna help."

"I'm not a heathen! I believe in God. We're just not in agreement at the moment..." Ali protested, scuffing her slippered toes on the floor. She wasn't a heathen, really. It was just... really, really complicated, kind of like this current situation.

She balked for a moment. "Well.... err... this is kind of awkward, so I didn't... know." She managed a weak smile. "Thanks, though. Don't think I really want to go this alone."

Journal Entry: Ali

I am screwed beyond the realm of screwed, into the realm of So Totally Screwed You Might As Well Just Die. Oh, man, is this BAD! I am pregnant! Yeah, that's right. I'm pregnant. Me, the dateless wonder who can't attract a guy to save her life... I'm pregnant. That night, a few weeks ago, when Randi and I got totally sugared-up and blocked out our memories of what happened, we went to a maternity clinic. And somehow, I got pregnant with our kid! Go figure, eh?! I can't believe this!

Cravings have started. I need chocolate, and I need a lot of it. I work out a lot, so I'm not gaining much weight. I mean, I walk everywhere. It's hard to gain weight when you walk miles and miles to class each day, walking all over campus and home and to the store and to the gym.

I still can't believe it. I called my mom and told her, and there was dead silence on the other end of the line for a full minute. Then she started asking all sorts of questions, and eventually I lied and said I had to go to class. It's just... overwhelming. What am I going to do?!

Ali

Journal Entry: Ali

Ohgodohgodohgod! I am showing. I am FAT! I'm like... fat. Just FATFATFATFATFAT!

Okay, done freaking out. But it's really scary. I haven't written in awhile, and all of a sudden now, I looked like I swallowed a soccer ball. It's so maddening. I'm thankful that I got some maternity clothes and stuff. But the bad part is that I got some bright-colored shirts, so now I look like a friggin' beach ball when I wear them. It's so upsetting.

So, no more morning sickness, but the cravings are awful. So much ice cream and chocolate is necessary. I'm glad to be working at the zoo now, though. I get to take care of lots of furry things, and it makes me happy when I'm having one of my hormonal fits. Hormones=bad. That reminds me... I need to talk to Randi more, especially since I now look fat. Fat is bad. Fat is really, really bad. But the good news is that I might get to take care of this orphaned black bear cub that just came into the zoo. I'm SO excited.

Wait, that's totally random isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it is. My train of thoughts are so screwed up that it's making me really upset. Argh.

The good news is that I'll probably be out of school before the baby is born. That is SO good. Then I'll have the summer to recover. I think I'll stick around this area instead of heading home. The zoo offered me more flexible hours for the summer, but I could still work full-time. Plus, I could keep the rent of this little house. Yeah, that might work. Yeah.

Friggin' OW! Baby just kicked me in the ribs. I'm going to go lie down.

Ali
AKA The World's Biggest Beach Ball (oh gawd!)