Intense research has been done over a period of decades of seconds on the complexity of sleeping a full fifteen hours a day. "Normal" eight hour sleepers as they are called or even the dreaded *shudder* less-than-eight-hour sleepers are a heavy impact on the actual normal sleepers who like to sleep in during the wee hours of the morning. We here at "Sleepers Unite!" have come up with a very simple yet effective answer to this problem... death.
Yes, while death is often the quick fix problem solver, we have actually chosen an effective way to use killing people. No longer shall those early birds wake you up before you are ready to get up! No longer shall the screeching of singing hurt your sleeping ears. Not with our package of death!
Each box includes:
- Handy grenades
Poisoned cereal
Gun
Sock
Orange*
Pillow
So you can see, in each box we have several nice ways to murder those pesky morning people. The handy grenades can be slipped into their pockets or thrown at them from afar. The gun is self explanatory; for those noisy birds in the morning. The sock and orange are for use together to beat those pesky little kids who are morning people to death with. The pillow, well the pillow is for those of you who need extra comfort.
You can get your very own death kit for ONLY $19.95!
*Tangelos may be substitued for the orange
