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 Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:26 pm
She smirked, "Well I could give ya mine, but my heart isn't much better, mine's broken," she laid on the ground beside him, staring out into a shadow by the base of some tree and brush there. Rage listened to his words, and she sighed, not because his wants were stupid, it was just difficult for her to hear sometimes...things about family.
"Thats a good future though...since you seem so set on it...I don't know what I'll do with myself in the future..." her left ear twitched sideways as she tried to contemplate on how to word what she wasnted to say.
"A family would be nice...but for me...I'd be afraid to..." she turned her head from him and lay her head on her paws, remembering the fateful day when she was young, images passing in front of her eyes.
"I lost my family when I was younger...I couldn't help them...I think if I wanted a family, I wouldn't have the heart to...I'd be afraid I wouldn't be able to protect them...that something bad would happen to them you know?" she turned back to face him, her eyes holding too much emotion for her to bear, "I just don't want it to be my fault, if anything happens to those I care about..."
She shook her head at herself and turned onto her side, facing Backus now, and she laughed at herself, "Silly huh?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:35 pm
"A broken heart for a broken heart," he said, twisting his body as she sat, to get closer to her, but also to get in a more comfortable position.
Backus chuckled as she gave her little spiel next, though not in mocking but in understanding. Sure, he was evil, but that didn't mean there weren't some he would approve of, some he'd actually find himself caring for.....or maybe caring was going too far. He didn't want to rush into anything no matter what the butterflies inside his stomach said.
"It isn't silly, Rage....maybe you just need someone to do the protecting for you, and protect you....so that your only worries will be to help raise wolves to be proud of," he nodded.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:44 pm
She smiled, her amber eyes meeting his mismatched ones. This was nice, just sitting and talking, thought the darker half of her mind liked the roughness and biting. But that was only one side.
"I don't want to just be the one protected though...my sister...my family died trying to protect me. My sister said 'your survival will be our memorial' but I don't want to be the one running away or getting protected without helping...I want to make a difference...and protect those I care about but still..." she trailed off. Feeling a twitch in her brain that hurt.
"Its hard to do it...when I can't..." she closed her eyes, her maw shutting and her eyes scrunched up a bit, it hurt, it hurt so bad. Control slipping for both sides. "I can't even be whole...who would want to be with someone who isn't whole Backus?" Rage sighed and shifted herself so she could wrap her tail around herself, it was getting cooler when the nights approached, she hated the cold so much. In teh valley, her home, it was so nice and warm. Warmer when you were in group dens with friends, but that was the past.
"You'll have no problem though Backus, all the females will be attracted to your 'charm'," she said almost laughing, but she held it in. Backus was quite odd, but that was alright, everyone is a bit odd.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:16 am
He hadn't know how she intended to throw out the comment, thus he held no weight to it, such as sarcasm or the like. Instead he pressed closer, now touching her body with his own. He told himself it was merely the cold, that she was a warm body thus he needed to be close in order for the chills to go away. And if he told himself that enough then he would have no trouble believing it were true.
"My charm...as it were, I'll never get the things I desire most anyway," he admitted, never daring to admit that to anyone before. Not even himself. "Do you think you have it bad? The males are supposed to be strong...diligent...the head of their family, yet I..." he trailed off, looking downwards as he pawed at the ground once more. "You're right....I can't even attack a dog. My heart it.....it keeps me from doing anything that requires effort."
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 12:15 pm
Rage felt a chill go up her spine as he moved closer. What was happening? The lighter side of her mind was confused, but the darker side was all for it, it was finally nice for someone to accept the darker side of Rage, Backus seemed so interesting and calm around her while she was like this. It seemed like a first in a while.
She smiled and pressed her nose against his chest where his heart lay beating, pulled back and looked right at him, "I said that...well, cause I could. Its what I do...but it doesn't seem true...your strong...you just have to realize it... and go with it. Let go of what you think you can and cannot do...just run with it and let go..." she spoke calmly, her tail wagging a bit. Yes, this was nice. Much warmer here then the places she would curl up at to sleep.
"Your heart is like mine, it aches when you run too fast....or when you try to be strong...but you have to learn to accept it, and surpass what you think you can't do Backus...then, then you could do anything..."
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:40 am
He listened intently, his mind's eye seeing himself running, fighting, and surrounding by blood. The blood of his family, of other wolves, but.....but not of rage. For some reason inside his head he had spared her life in his little imagination sequence and he wasn't sure why. But, he wanted what she was speaking. He wanted so very much to overcome everything that had happened to him, wanted to overcome his aching and trying hurt that indeed consumed him and made him into half a wolf. But, it was too much to think about right now.
"I'll think of that in the morning," he mumured, "For right now I must sleep...."
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:17 pm
Rage watched Backus as he seemed to muse to himself of what he could do with a whole heart that did not pain him. But he also seemed tired, she was too. Here on the borders if was safer away from any of the other packmembers, safe from Nix coming into the open and questing Rage. She supposed she could nap for a while, then take to the wind and run, always chasing what she could never have.
Smiling she curled her tail around herself and shut her eyes, the tip of her tail touching his, as she fell into a dreamless sleep.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:53 am
Backus wasn't as quick to fall asleep, it took him countless moments to even let his eyes grow heavy enough to close completely. And once they had his mind still waged wars within itself, about what he wanted and what he knew, aside from hope alone, that he simply couldn't have. Finally he fell into a heavy sleep and dreamt of drowing in the river they now lay not too far from.
He slept a great deal and when he finally woke he instantly lifted his head and let his duel colored eyes search around for Rage.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 3:46 pm
((guess we keep going ya? *loves rp-ing them together anyway* <3))
Rage was still asleep, but shivering. Her whole body shaking as if she was freezing to death, but she wasn't cold, it was what she was seeing in ehr sleep. She thought the nightmares had ceased for the time being, being around Backus things seemed to make a bit more sense, just the slightest bit. But they had returned. Her tail was curled tightly around herself as she saw blood spill on the ground, a few tears falling from her eyes dampening her fur.
She despised sleep.
This was why.
Her body was convulsing, and she felt like her whole body was being set aflame as she watched her family fall. Her heart ached and she whimpered once or twice, not knowing Backus was awake. Because of her dreams for a long time she had sleep alone far away from anyone else. She figured...if they saw her like this...they would just run away.
Yet she thought perhaps Backus wouldn't, but she didn't know if Backus was even around anymore, she just knew she couldn't escape...though she hoped she could wake up.
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:23 am
((me too, so sorry for the delay ><))
Backus watched her, his duel colored eyes staring at her in a mixture between shock and horror. Maybe both. Yes, definitely both. Something was wrong with her, it was if she was waging a war within her own mind. Bad dream perhaps? If so then this was one hell of a bad dream.
He barked, loudly.
Hoping that this would cause her to wake up. When it didnt he moved forward and began to nudge her neck and head with his snout, he may not have known everythng about her, and he was still torn between wanting her dead and wanting HER, but somehow he wanted to stop the inner terror she was seeing.
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:09 pm
((so sorry for my delay *was without computer* <333))
Rage's eyes shot open and her body scooted to one side, right into Backus. She felt something beside her and nearly jumped into the air, but turning to see his two colored eyes her heart began to slow down, it was Backus. He was still here.
He had saved her from a nightmare.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, lowering herself to the ground again, this time curling up close to his side, "I didn't mean to I'm sorry...they just...they hurt..." she said referring to teh dreams that plagued her all the time.
But he had saved her this time.
"Thank you Backus," she nudged him gently under his chin then laid her head down again, but awake now. Now she couldn't sleep, she was afraid to somewhat. Afraid that the nightmares would come back. But at least Backus had stayed here, he was still here and not gone.
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:07 am
He was breathing heavy. Why he couldn't really say. Maybe it was some unnamed fear. Fear for her well being, his own maybe? No, no. Somewhere in the depths of him he knew he was worried about her. He simply had to accept that fact whether he would ever utter it or not, he did. That could not change. This much he knew.
"It's alright," he murmured, almost soothingly, but still laced with some sort of cynacism. Left over from his inheriant nature. "You're welcome...It....."" he lowered his head slightly and then as she nudged him he grinned slightly and muttered, "It was nothing....but perhaps we should get you some food? It.....might help...."
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 11:57 am
"Perhaps...." she said almost silently. Her voice was soft, but she refused to move from sitting next to him. She at least felt warm adn safe ehre, even if it was just for a moment. She wondered if anyone in the pack might be looking for her, if anyone might be worried that maniac came back adn took her away.
"I don't...want to wander too far though because...he is out there...he could be watching..." she wasn't particularly afraid of him for her sake, jsut afraid that he might try to hurt the others.
"They might worry if I don't go back, to the packlands..." she looked up with his with amber eyes, though a flicker of hazel was in them, internal war in herself. Each side fighting for dominance, "Are you out here all alone Backus?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:04 pm
Somewhere deep inside he felt a deep hatred. Deeper then ever before. He, in that moment, he wanted to protect Rage......from anything, ANYTHING at all. Just to keep her save and close and for her to know that it was HE who had saved her. HE who was protecting her from all the woes and whims the world held. God if he could only be the one who did it. But could he? Could he even if he tried? He knew that she felt that he could, but did he?
He was about to voice all his questions and woes when her question hit his ears. He turned and looked at her, nodding his great head. "I am alone in the world it seems," he murmured, "All alone..."
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:09 pm
Rage's smile faded and she craned her head up to nuzzle him uner his chin, wrap her tail around herself and touch his tail at the same time, "Your not alone anymore...neither am I..." she made a soft crooning sound in her throat, like a purr, only gentler.
"You should come back with me Backus...I don't think he would try and hurt me again if you were there...come back with me Backus....please?" she pulled back and looked up at him. He was rather larger then her, why hadn't she noticed before?
She licked his cheek gently and closed her eyes, and nuzzled against him again, "Please...stay with me..."
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