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 Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:33 pm
A strange thought occured to me as I held Raven in my arms. Before anyone gets any wierd ideas, he was flying, myself underneath him, and when I spoke to him he got distracted and flew headlong into a streetlight. As ungraceful as such an action was, I was more concerned for his health than amused at his blunder. Time seemed to slow as he tumbled downward, wings not acting like the kites they were supposed to be, not holding him aloft. Raven's form turned elegantly in the air moments before I caught him, though his wings made it a little awkward.
Thankfully, he hadn't lost any feathers, I'm all too familiar with such a wound, though he did look as though he bumped his head something awful.
Now normally I'm not one to get too concerned over one thing or another, but Raven...He's one of the few friends i've got, and to lose him...Well, I just about went crazy, though no one would be able to tell. I've got a knack for smiling when i'm happy, and when i'm upset, or angry, and no one really notices the difference.
I mean...Well, i'm not making much sense here, really, but Raven, he's always seemed to have been stuck on the unfortunate end of things, you know? I know he'd hate to think someone was pitying him, but I just want to be around to comfort him. It seems to me that's what he really needs. If I can find something i'm good at, other than flying or singing, I think it's to be a support to lean on.
My thoughts are so muddled together, I'm finding it difficult to make any sense out of anything anymore. I'm gonna talk to Haku sometime...He has a knack for orginizing things.
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 11:09 pm
Notice to all I am engaged in an rp with: I will be gone from tomorrow, December 16th, through the 24th, so I will not be able to rp with you.
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:35 am
Greetings to all who choose to read this. My name is Evana. From what I gather about myself, I am a quasi incarnate of a phoenix from a villaige known as Junpaku. From what I am also able to gather, there are many others who look exactly like I do. Freak case of identical siblings, I suppose. But we're not alike in personality.
Oh no.
Let's get one thing out of the way: I like to be called Evan. Not Eevie, Vana, Nana, Eva, or any other nausiating nicnames. I know my name means water nymph, but we don't need to get into details. I'm a simple kid who likes to keep things frank and to the point.
Now, I need to find out exactly why i'm blue, where on earth I got this santa hat, and why in all of freaking HECK can I not find a pair of pants anywhere?
I live with three adult men. Three. And not a single spare pair of jeans between the lot of them. You should see 'em anyway, the way they try and tiptoe around me. Like i'm gonna PMS all over them or something. Well, let's get another thing perfectly clear.
I'm not like other girls.
I'm not a doll, I don't give mixed messages, I can take care of myself, i'm NOT a vapid shallow simpleton, fashion and boys are not the only thing on my mind, I'll never use the 'don't hit me because i'm a girl' excuse, and if you treat me unfairly i'll be sure as heck to let you know.
How?
My fist and your face usually gets the point across.
Now don't get me wrong-- i'm not bad tempered or violent. I'm not impatient, or itching for a fight. I'm just never gonna be the bigger man and walk away, or take it sitting down.
I'm pleasant enough. I like to play games, and have fun, and make friends, but none of that 'sugar and spice and everything nice' nonsence. Seriously, that stuff makes me sick. No really, when a cashier beams at you and chirps 'have a nice day!' I wanna just yell at her to not give me orders, and that I can not have a nice day if I want because I know she really doesn't care what I do once i'm out of the store, and people actually buy into that crap. People buy into a lot of crap, but i'm not gonna complain.
...I mean of course, any more than I have already.
Oh, and if any of my brothers get around to reading this-
LET ME BORROW A PAIR OF SHORTS ALREADY! I'M SO SHORT IT'LL REACH MY ANKLES ANYWAY. IT'S WINTER FOR CHRIPES SAKE! I WON'T RUIN THEM, HONEST!
Hopefully I can get out of this frock before the day is out.
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:44 am
What can I say about him? Why am I drawn to write silly little nothings to a notebook who can neither read nor appreciate my words, who won't learn from them or feel them? Because if I don't get them out somewhere, I'll just burst.
I've known ever since I was a wee thing I was gay. When I was still just a child, I was infatuated briefly with Ryo. He held such a dangerous allure, I found myself drawn to him. It faded with time, and Ryo found a red white and blue beauty named Liberty. Klonoa told me they're raising a child now.
I felt it again strongly when Raven grew up. Since I was bigger than him, I felt the strong urge to protect that shadowy youth, but he's grown surly with his age- no longer the gentle boy I once knew. He got mad at me for his own mistakes, and yelled me right out of his life.
Thankfully, my own father never let me know that homosexually was considered wrong or sinful, and my home was always welcome and warm. Some Hououza aren't granted such a privledge.
I suppose I inherited Dian's protectiveness and his knack for taking care of things. I've grown up, grown older, and wanted a child of my own. I've got thoughts and feelings I'd like passed down, and I feel almost at a loss when I've no one to look after. I'd always had my younger brothers before, but even Asher, the youngest needs me no longer.
I found him. One snowy afternoon I saw him out there struggling to build a snowman A tiny phoenix youth I'd never seen before but with the most striking skin I'd ever seen, more odd than even Asher with his bone markings. He looked almost pitiful struggling with the heavy snow. So, I ventured in to help him.
Gods what my venturing to help has landed me with. I've almost gotten myself killed, and found the love of my life.
I'd kept that shy little phoenix under my protective wing, keeping him safe almost like another younger brother. He told me once he thought of me as the big brother he'd never had. I was just as proud as I could be, but as I watched him grow before me, my own feelings for him changed.
He's a teenager now, and with all we've gone through together I know I could never leave him. I don't want to, and I can't.
But he's still just a teenager, and my feelings cause me no small amount of guilt that perhaps there might be something wrong with me, but It can't be wrong! I love him! I love him so hard I could just die, sometimes.
I can't help it...
His eyes, skin, hair, small wings... Every part of him I want to kiss until anything that ever hurt him goes away, and his thoughts are only of the happiness I brought him, of joy and life and sunshine. I know he knows I love him, and he hasn't hated me for it.
I just...I don't know anymore. The only thing I can do is stand beside him as I promised I would, and protect him, and wait.
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