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 Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:30 am
Well, at least he wasn't mad at her for that. Or wasn't showing it. But she felt like she'd disrespected his wife. Oh boy.
But she didn't want to keep pushing the subject, so she just walked along side him, no longer clinging. "People are pretty interesting all around," she said, finally, thinking. Her mind was on Michael. On how he could have justified himself. It probably showed in her face - her eyes hardened and sparkled slightly with restrained tears. She bit her lip.
People could be such bastards.
"At least he was only talking and not acting." After all - being on the receiving end of actions was a little more... hard to deal with.
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:39 am
"Who, Ama? What you see is what you get, I'm afraid."
Something about the tone of her voice made Carver look at her, though; he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, as was his wont, and he furrowed his brow. The expression clinched it. "Natalie, is there something wrong? What's happened? I - I haven't done anything, have I?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:43 am
She blinked at him, a little surprised. "... What? You? No, you haven't done anything. Nothing. Trust me. It's... er... not you. At all."
She bit her lip. Should she tell him? If she did, he'd never stop worrying. But... well... she needed to get it off her chest. And not to a bunch of drunk mages or Thorn, who she was so confused about.
"Just... I've been having... relationship problems lately. Bad ones."
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:46 am
His expression hardened again, a bit like she'd seen before in his apartment - a closing of his usually frank features, lips tightening, eyes like agates. There was a moment's silence as they continued their sedate walk in the afternoon light, birds trilling in the trees as if nothing was wrong - "Would it be prying if I asked, Natalie?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:57 am
That had been what she needed. Her pace slowed, and she ducked her head.
"I was in a... sort of relationship with my costar. Pretty much all physical, though nothing ever happened past kissing. I thought... I thought I was in love. I thought he was in love.
"Then... a week ago... well. I found out that he was engaged. And so I told him that was the end of it, after I'd gotten through the sobbing part.
"But the next night... I guess he didn't want to give me up. Too good of a squeeze, hm? Probably wanted a cute young school girl by his side - he's about your age. But yeah. He... cornered me in my dressing room..."
She trailed off, thinking about it, tears welling up again. That had been... a really bad night. A very bad night. I mean... she'd almost been raped, hadn't she? Then again, her body had been all for it. That was the worst part. It took so much effort to push him away....
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:01 am
There was another moment's silence; longer, this time. When he spoke, Carver's voice was slow and deliberate and toneless, totally neutral.
"Did he hurt you, Natalie?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:04 am
"... emotionally? Yes. Psychologically? Hell yes. Physically...? ... Unless you count violently making out as painful. I pushed him away before.... before it went too far, though. He's left me alone since then.
"I just... the only people who've been there for me are Hadrian and Thorn. And Thorn pays so much attention to me... he kissed me the other night. I don't know what to think, though - Hadrian warned me, said he was a terrible man. I just... I can't help but trust him, though."
If Natalie had paid attention in her psych class at college, she'd know that it was because she'd latched onto him in a time of desperate need. She needed him to be stable and true. She couldn't let herself believe she was being tricked again.
She sighed.
"I'm so confused... I don't... I just didn't think love was supposed to be this hard. But I guess life isn't a fairytale, huh?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:12 am
Carver's mind was generally mathematic in these situations: dividing Thorn by Michael, two men he didn't know about but who both fit Hadrian's description perfectly anyway. Multiplying by Natalie. Measuring and triangulating.
"Natalie," he said, still neutral - painfully neutral - "It's just my opinion, but it's not love. He used you terribly. And hurt you terribly. And Thorn... How old is 'Thorn'?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:16 am
"I know Michael didn't love me. I understand that. I understand that I was fooling myself, trying to believe in something that wasn't there. And it might not be love with Thorn, either. But it's so hard not to trust him... I want to trust him..."
She sighed, hanging her head slightly. "... Oh, he's your age, too. I'm starting to think I have a thing for older men. (No, REALLY?)" She laughed nervously, tugging on a curl. And THAT would be why she thought Carver was sexy with his shirt off.
Anyway.
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:23 am
That made him blanch slightly; but his voice didn't waver as he finally said, "Natalie, I think you should stay away from this man. I really do. It's your own decision; I'm not trying to be your brother here - or your father. A man my age going after a woman your age - there's some despicable power play going on here, and a hell of a lack of responsibility, and so much room for abuse. And you've already been warned that he's 'bad'. Why would Hadrian lie? Natalie - you're young and pretty and charming."
Another few steps. "Stay away from him for his own sake, my dear. If he hurt you I think I'd have to talk with him."
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:27 am
"I..." She looked at him, expression infinitely sad and confused. "... I've already arranged to see him in a few nights. I'll... I'll break it off then. I promise. Y-you're right.... of course you're right."
Sighing, Natalie wrapped her arms around herself. "I... I guess I'm just lonely. Really, really lonely. That's all. Even with what friends I have... I don't know. I just want somebody to love me. That's all. That's all."
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:33 am
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do," he said gently, but was obviously and totally relieved. "I just think that this man holds nothing for you that could ever be fruitful. And after what that man Michael did to you..."
A threat hung in the air, mainly consisting of strangling.
"We're here for you, Natalie, for what it's worth," Carver said, and put his hand on her shoulder. "You have your whole life ahead of you. You are loved. There's no way that you wouldn't find love. I... may not be too helpful on the subject, or say the right thing - I know I'm not saying the right thing, I always have my bloody foot in it - but be patient."
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:39 am
Natalie nodded, inhaling shakily. Thorn was dangerous. Thorn was not to be trusted. She needed to take her time. It was just... when she was with Michael, she had been so elated. She'd finally found somebody to love her! But now that that had been taken away so violently...
That need hung in the air, unfulfilled and aching.
"... Thank you, Carver," she murmured, then hugged the older man. "I needed some... clear advice. Thanks. Really. And you said all the right things."
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:42 am
There was a brief hug in return, as Carver was about a negative ten on the elegant hug scale - but it was fond, and as they detangled he gave her one of his lopsided smiles. "I'm glad, Miss Natalie. It happens so rarely. If that Thorn tries to pester you again..." (Another threat hung in the air, also of strangling.)
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:46 am
"You'll be the first to know, no worries." She linked arms with him, smiling weakly.
"Shall we continue our walk, or are you in desperate need of food? I could cook us something."
The gardens were sort of in the direction of her apartment. And she wanted to show off how clean and put together the whole place looked now that she'd had the time and motivation to work on it. Plus... well, she was in need of time with friends. Not drunk friends.
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