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 Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:47 pm
Julian squirmed, but it was with a stifled laugh. He briefly sat up straight but returned to his position almost immediately afterwards, although without his face pressed so much against Riker.
“I’m growing,” he protested, but Julian didn’t really seem like he minded whatever size he was. The less he grew, the longer he could fit into his clothes. “Maybe you should practice wrestling with a bear before you volunteer to take them on. We should visit Elliot’s and see how well that goes,” he laughed. The cubs seemed to like to wrestle so he was glad they were still so small. He hadn’t really seen full sized bears at the Wonder but he hoped Elliot had all of that under control.
“I’ll still teach you everything I know. I’m sure you’ll be as good as I am in no time! You’ll be good at anything you put your heart into. Or practice enough. Everyone can learn,” he promised. “Do you really think you’d be bothering Elliot’s dad if you asked about guitar? Maybe he’d be happy to share. Or teach you what he knows, too! Elliot’s dad–um, the same one, I think–Asher,” he clarified, but he said it like he was uncomfortable using his first name, “told me I should ask him if I have any questions about anything? He told me about his Life Skills club but I was still at Hillworth at the time. I have his email address, though. He told me I could message him about anything. I wrote to him once. I felt silly but um, I don’t know, I was really stressing. The zipper broke on my backpack and I couldn’t fix it. But I guess he has a lot of experience with that sort of thing so it took him like thirty seconds and he gave me some extra zippers so if it happened again I could do it myself. And then they helped me with my homework and made me stay for dinner. And sent me home with leftovers. I don’t know. I feel like if you told him you wanted to borrow an instrument he would definitely let you. Maybe he could even give you some tips, too. But if you’re feeling shy, I can ask him the next time I’m over?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:50 pm
He tried not to grin at the way Julian squirmed and laughed. Just as he tried not to just dig his fingers into his side again. Not yet at least.
Of course, his ears burned a little when he was so rudely accused of being shy! Not that he was actually upset. But he could click his tongue and huff as though he didn’t feel awkward about asking someone for help after knowing he made his husband cry. At least a few times in class.
“You don’t have to ask him. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out,” he insisted, and poked Julian’s side for good measure. Just to make sure he knew he was at Riker’s mercy for the moment. Not that Riker planned on doing anything to upset him, but still.
“I could definitely take on Elliot’s bears, though. They’re little!” Although he was pretty sure he’d seen Elliot’s summon before. Hopefully it didn’t think he was going to harm the cubs. He wasn’t! He didn’t even want to fight them! But he would if it meant protecting Julian. Or his other friends, of course.
“I’m glad he was able to help you though. He’s a good guy. At least for a teacher. Ah, I’m really glad you’re going to Azure. It makes it feel less… daunting.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:51 pm
Julian laughed once more at the last poke but he still didn’t pull away.
“The bears are little for now, Riker! They’ll grow!” Probably! He wasn’t exactly sure how big they might get, but Elliot’s Summon was much larger than the little bears, and he couldn’t imagine Riker seriously wrestling a bear. The cubs probably would have loved the attention, though. He’d have to see how Riker felt the next time they went up to Amarynthos.
“Are you sure you’re comfortable asking? Just tell me if you change your mind.”
He was resting against Riker more seriously now, and kicked the back of his feet against the fountain playfully while he sat against his friend.
“They seem really nice. I would be less nervous if I was asking for you. I’m not so good at asking for myself. But I’m braver when it’s something for a friend. But Atticus seems comfortable around them. I mean, I know Elliot would be. But Atticus is a good judge of people, I think. And if he feels safe around them, I bet they are. And if you say he’s a good guy then I know he is.”
He was still smiling, but he looked up at the sky as he tried to peek at some distant world. “I’m excited to go to Azure. A little nervous. But knowing you’re all going to be there makes me feel a lot better. I hope I don’t stick out too much. I’m worried about being new there. But I’ve heard good things from all of you, so I’m excited, too. What makes it feel daunting for you?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:51 pm
At first Riker laughed, because he supposed Julian had a point about the bears being little. Whether or not they would grow? Well, he wasn’t sure how ancient magic like that worked, but he still thought he could handle himself against some magic bears. Probably.
But then his laugh shifted into something more awkward until he coughed to clear his throat.
“I mean… I wasn’t going to ask. I was just going to figure something else out,” he confessed with a half, sheepish grimace. “I get not being comfortable asking for yourself, though.”
After all, he had the same problem.
He didn’t say he didn’t agree with Julian about their friends, but he didn’t know them as well as he did some of their others. Like Julian and Dawn. Even Énna he knew better, but partially for the wrong reasons. That wasn’t to say he didn’t know Elliot. They were on the same team, after all. But Riker often tried to keep his head down and avoid opportunities for others to harass him.
Elliot liked to tease, and probably didn’t mean anything by it, but since Riker was almost always on the defensive, it was sometimes hard to tell what was just playful banter and what was being said to make fun of him. Which he knew wasn’t fair to Elliot, and he knew Elliot wasn’t like that. He was slowly warming up to the others, but was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And he wasn’t sure how much of all of that Julian actually needed, or wanted, to hear.
“Oh, just trying to make sure I don’t get attention for the wrong reasons,” he tried staying somewhat cheerful about it, but there was some dread still in his voice. He mimicked Julian’s kicking, although he couldn’t do much since his feet were already on the ground.
“Just trying to make up for some things I did. It’s dumb, but I’m just now starting to realize how much of a bad influence my family has had on me. But I think you’ll be great there. And I know you’ll have fun.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:52 pm
“I’d have more fun if I got to hang out with you.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I wonder if we’ll have any classes together.” Statistically, he’d probably have at least one class with one of his friends, right?
If not, he could keep to himself. Maybe he’d see them between classes, or at lunch, or–well, after school, for sure!
“Is there anything I can do to help you make up for anything? I mean, I’m sure you probably have things all figured out. But if I can help with anything, ever, I hope you’ll be able to ask me.”
Even if asking for help, or anything, was hard.
He was still looking at the sky when he continued, like maybe he was afraid if he looked down then Riker would change the subject. “I don’t think any of that sounds dumb, you know. It sounds really mature and responsible of you. And I’m glad that you can look at things from a different perspective and focus on who you want to be and how you can do that. A lot of people can’t see past themselves. I mean, I can’t.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:52 pm
“Yeah, well. You’re kind of an optimist, aren’t you?” Riker suggested with a shrug and gentle squeeze. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. The fact that you can make that observation about yourself is more than a lot of others could say.”
He didn’t think he was very mature or responsible, but the guilt he felt -- had always felt for the things he did when influenced by his family -- weighed heavily on him. He doubted he would ever truly make up for some of the things he did, but he wanted to try.
Now that he had something to work towards, though, well, it wasn’t easier, but it kept him more focused.
“We’ll have to see if there are any clubs you’re interested in. You could come to our baseball games! Oh, but those could be boring to watch. I mean, at least you’ll have Atticus there. And, well, I’ll be glad to see you. I don’t really have things figured out, though. I’m just doing whatever I can, but… thanks, Jules. I’ll make sure to let you know,” he promised with another squeeze.
“I hope the same goes for you, if you need help with anything, ever. If you need help with a different perspective, I can offer that, too.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2024 7:53 pm
“I will,” Julian promised. There was no hesitation in his voice, and he didn’t sound like he was just saying what he thought Riker wanted to hear. He wanted Riker to ask for help when he needed it, so Julian would do the same.
His gaze finally returned to Riker’s. It felt like they were out of the woods, drifting away from the sensitive topics they both kept closely guarded. He wasn’t afraid of making Riker uncomfortable.
“I’ve never been in a real club. Or been to a real baseball game! You can’t think they’re boring to watch, can you? I’ve seen big crowds at games before, and everyone always seems so lively. And you play baseball! I don’t know if you’re allowed to say it’s boring. I’d like to go.”
It was another experience to have, and he’d have been all the happier if he got to spend it with friends.
Though Riker suggested that Julian might not give himself enough credit, Julian immediately dismissed the thought and gave himself no credit. He was an optimist, though. Better to focus on the good in the world than get distracted by the bad. It wasn’t worth commenting on, especially when he was already imagining clubs, and baseball, and hanging out with his friends.
Life usually seemed so complicated but tonight, it didn’t.
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