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 Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2023 7:21 pm
Kai walked alongside, confused for a moment. "Why is that? Don't you like your friends?" He asked.
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2023 7:42 pm
"I don't have other friends. Co-workers yes but I wouldn't say they are friends...acquaintances really. "I don't like forming attatchments to people." Not typically anyway, Kai seemed to be a different case. Perhaps because they had a lot in common, including both jobs they each held, they also seemed to be on a similar wave length as far as energy levels went. Kai didn't seem a wild partying sort and he certainly wasn't one himself. It helped, since most of his co-workers were that sort, he didn't have it in himself to go out and drink and party and lose himself to such things.
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2023 7:57 pm
Kai made a thoughtful hmmm as they walked.
"I don't have much either. I don't talk to my family. I don't really hang out with my coworkers. Different worlds. Not old enough to spent my time at the bar. Not hip enough for the clubs. Not hipster enough for those events where people talk about bigger things and people on Twitter being big news. Tried once, but I felt bored and not with it." He was rambling, but he wanted something to fill in the space. He didn't want Kioshi to think he was the only one answering things and giving things up. Was he being too pushy with the questions. ********.
Kai scratched the beard hair by his cheek and then dropped his hand into his pocket.
"Honestly, was worried things would be weird after all this time not hanging out in person."
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:29 pm
"I don't like the idea of loosing control so I don't drink and parties are boring then, clubs as well." He really didn't like the idea of loosing control, that had and would always be a big thing for him, he was certain he hadn't had any control in the past as Hisoka so now he did and he wasn't giving it up. "I can't dance and I'm not good with people; so I avoid clubs." He also wasn't interested in people like that...especially females.
"I'm also younger than my co-workers so it can make for some odd conversations. They have families and kids and spouses and such." Talk of picking kids up from school and how meet the teacher went, considering some of his co-workers were blasted with ink. He'd heard all kidns of talks and he'd kept silent, retreated as much as he could, and gave little short answers that weren't really answers. Because he couldn't relate to the talks going on.
"Why not family though for you? I have a reason; I don't have them anymore."
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2023 11:28 am
He walked slowly beside Kioshi as he carefully took the steps down into the subway station. "I come from a really big family. My mom had 12 kids." He said, not looking at Kioshi as he didn't want to see his reaction. Most people were shocked at such a number. It wasn't normal, and it usually came into questions of what sort of religious affiliation they had or if he came from some cult. "It was messed up being raised by my siblings. I barely knew my parents. We all had to fight for a scrap of attention, and most of it was on my mother recovering from childbirth or raising the newest baby. My dad had to constantly work to support us. I didn't even know my parents died when I was in juvie. I just - don't have really good memories about it." They went to the terminal. "I haven't talked to them since I was a teenager. I don't feel any of us had a fighting chance to get to know each other. Not when we had to take care of ourselves and our younger siblings. I'm out of their hair so - just kinda think it's best to let them be free for once." No longer a burden that they had to take care of and invest more of their lives into when no one gave them the choice. Now they had the choice. "I don't really like being around little kids anymore cause of it. I'm good with em, but I kinda hate having to babysit them." He admitted, which he knew made him sound like a terrible person. It was also why he didn't like being around his married coworkers. The talk of raising kids struck something too close to home. He thought of their normal lives with only a few children and how they were caring for them, and he got jealous. A grown adult jealous of some person's kids. Pathetic. He'd never admit it to them, and so he tried to avoid those talks with them.
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2023 2:43 pm
He wanted to say something about so many siblings, ask questions, but really did it matter? The other clearly wasn't living at home or dealing with his family. So did it matter? He was away from them. It had all, without a doubt, effected how the other grew up and who he was now but it wasn't something that would reat it's ugly head now.
"That's not how anyone should be rasied up, even I know that." Rolling his eyes as he spoke, he really couldn't help that. "And I'm sure you raised any younger siblings as well. It's not fair to the children." Selfish parents fro mthe sound of it, selfish parents who didn't deserve a single child they'd had, though he was glad Kai was alive. "I'm not surprised you don't have good memories...you should have had good memories. I'm sure I had some, and I'm also sure I didn't get on well with my parents." Though he couldn't know for certain he was sure some good memories had been there.
"I wouldn't talk to my siblings either, too much time raising them and being rasied by them. The amount of bad feelings there must be enormous. I would want to keep my distance and act like everything was a bad dream. Try and move on and grow above it - to be better and do what you want to do in life." Since he hadn't when he was growing up, clearly. How selfish could a set of parents be?
Chuckling at the other hs couldn't help lay a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you're good with children - you had experrience." A while lot of it from the sound of things. "But you did more child raising than y ou should have. If you never have kids I wouldn't be surprised. You sort of did when you were a child yourself." He did feel for the other, strongly, he felt a lot of dislike for the others parents and for the situation Kai had been in. If the others parents were still alive he might just hunt them down at night and drain them and leave them somewhere. Just to make them feel something...just to get at them in some manner. Maybe he'd go for them multiple times and drain them and drop them off in random places about the city.
"You're living how you want to now though? Doing what you want and associating with who you want to. No being forced into things like that."
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Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2023 7:52 pm
"That would be great." He said as he showed his phone screen, swiping away from Dolly Parton to his contacts. He picked out Kioshi, named 'Kioshi :3" and his phone number. He jotted down the address, just in case he ever needed it.
"I never thought about kids ever. It's just - feels so bad putting that many kids in the world. I'd be worried about ******** it up. I know I wouldn't, but I'm not sure I'd be a good parent. I really just like my space and I don't have no body to do that anyways. I don't even have a apartment decent for me. I don't want to throw some kid into a shitty life where I couldn't give them all I wanted as a kid." It would make him feel bad if he subjected them to the same selfishness his parents had just cause they wanted a kid around.
"Not many people don't want kids. Once you get married, it's kinda the thing to do. I haven't even went out and dated anyone in a long time." He pocketed his phone, trying not to think about the mess his love life was in.
"Nah. No one forces me into much now. I don't have no guardians or a parole officer or nothing. I would like to do more, but money. But I'm free in what I decide to do." To which he did smile at that little bit of knowledge. "I don't feel like no burden to anyone either cause of it."
He looked to Kioshi. "And you? You free? Are ya like, happy?"
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Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2023 5:02 pm
Typing his address into the others phone he hit the save button then. "There, now you don't have to worry about remembering it." Now he had it and could look it up whenever, which meant Kioshi might just get visits from the other. Though it also meant the other might be in the area and ask him out on a patrol as well. He did, for a moment, wonder if the other would dislike how violent he could get with order. He didn't think the other could get nearly as vicious as he could get, seeing as he just wanted to kill senshi and knights, he didn't think much of killing them or how it occured so long as it happened.
"I don't think I could manage it, I don't do well with other people." not to mention a baby crying, or a children, and the stress and the noise. Yup, he knew it wouldn't do well for him. He was fairly certain he'd spend more time with his icepacks, and the bathroom toilet, than was healthy and less time with the child.
"That shouldn't be an expectation of being married and yet it is, it seems like every couple that gets married has that shoved onto them. Some less than others but it's not fair." And it would be something which would annoy him, to the point of snapping at people, he really was easy to annoy most of the time. He had the ability to tolerate a lot but he used that all up when he was working, and none was left for his out of work life, it was such a shame really.
"At least you've dated someone from the sound of it." It wasn't something he hid from people, it just didn't come up typically, and when it did he wasn't telling because of the atmosphere when it was asked. It would have him being teased by coworkers, or they'd try and set him up, and he wasn't interested in dealing with either thing. He did not need someone playing cupid for him; he was good thank you very much.
"I'm happy, as happy as can be anyway. I wish I had more money, a proper home, buut I'm better than I could be. I'm working on the money thing anyway." His hands stuffed themselves into the pockets of his jeans as he walked at the others side, dark eyes glancing about the street and taking in those around them.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2023 5:18 pm
He wasn't sure what to make about him dating. Was it to compliment him to at least not being a single person all his life - or was it more that Kioshi hadn't. Typically he'd assume the first. He'd been around men most of his life that often bragged about the number of those they dated, and even more about the ones they had sex with. The worst offense most men at his age had against others, and the biggest taunt, was if you never went all the way. It was a sort of big decider if you were a man or not, and a grim expectation he knew almost all men faced. He wished things were different, but he wasn't sure if he'd see that change in his lifetime. In the meantime, he had learned to fake the sort of talk about bodies and experiences to get by, but leaned a lot of being the big, quiet guy. Size and a impressive beard got you a lot of currency in the macho category. Most wouldn't accuse him outright of calling him a b***h. At least not to his face.
"I guess. Not all fun though." He said, breathing out at he recounted just how many awful experiences he had in his mockery of a love life.
But now that the subject was here, there was something he had to ask.
"I mean, I bet you had someone now or at least before. Right?" He was out meeting him, but who was to say he didn't have someone else on his phone he was texting. Someone he was meeting and enjoying their time. A fashionable down-to-earth guy like Kioshi seemed to just be the kind of person many people would want.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2023 6:37 pm
"I've heard some stories around the shop, clients and co-workers, so yeah I'm sure it's not all fun dating." As if he hadn't experienced such things. His words, or rather which words he used and how he said them, was telling of something he hadn't yet said in exact words. It wasn't something he hid but it was something people never asked, as they all assumed he had dated and might even be dating someone. They all assumed things and he wasn't one to come right out and tell them otehrwise. If they ever asked he'd set them right.
And it seemed Kai was the sort to actually ask, how interesting. "Me? Date?" Surprise danced across his features for a moment; then he answered. "No, not that I'm aware of, Hisoka left nothing behind sayhing otherwise. So no, never. Could you picture anyone wanting to date me? Looks wise perhaps but otherwise - I doubt it."
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2023 6:57 pm
"Why? I can think a lot of people would be lucky to date you. You're a great guy." He said, surprised by the downgrading attitude that Kioshi had for himself.
But that brought up another question.
"Are you interested in dating?" He asked, not sure if he was just not wanting to even date at all.
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2023 7:14 pm
"You think I'm great, you are one of a few who think that." To most he was cold, introverted at best and anti social at worst; because one sounded better than the other. He could be murderous when powered and when a civilian he really didn't exactly give off dateable vibes. Kioshi also knew that while he appreciated his own appearence not everyone would, and it would limit him in some areas of life. He'd never really cared though, it was just a background bit of knowledge he had.
"Interested in it?" Like a parrot again he repeated the words words, slowly, before he found his voice and answered the question. "I've never considered it. I didn't have a reason to think about it, I've been busy with other things." He knew he had been even as Hisoka, because he'd been an artist before than and because he had seen the note from Hisoka. Hisoka had told him that their parents had been asian tigers. Hisoka had likely never had the ability to date, though he didn't know if the other had ever wanted to.
"I don't like getting close to people, I don't want to care about people and if I get close I care." And he tried to avoid that like the plague. He wasn't incapable of caring about people but rather the opposite and so he avoided relations with people, connections of any sort, in order to not care. So in a round about way he didn't care about people.
"I don't see how it matters though, I can't see anyone wanting to date me. Maybe some who would be interested in a one off but nothing lasting."
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2023 9:31 pm
There was the passing chatter of a group of people that moved past them. Somewhere a car honk sounded out in the distance. Then it was quiet as Kai stood at the Subway station.
Reaching back, he scratched his beard and then dropped his hand.
"What if - I did?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2023 9:39 pm
Watching as people passed, thankfully most ignored them, Kioshi was always glad when people didn't notice him because pointings and whispers were annoying. As he was watching them he heard the others voice, the others words, and turned to stare for a moment.
"You'd want to..date me?" As if it were a hard thing to understand, that he wasn't entierly sure he believed it. "I've never done the dating thing." Or anything else he thought but refrained from saying, that wasn't somethign to mention here and now. Could he even say how much intrest inthe idea of dating he had? He'd never been interested in it, not wanting to get close to anyone, but did he hate the idea of a relationship? Not really. Did he like the idea? No, not really. He was rather neutral on the overall idea, once he got past the idea of being close to someone else. There was a sort of lack of feeling one way or the other about it.
"I can't promise anything. If you're interested and that doesn't deter you than we can try." He already would call the other a friend so he was already close to the other, closer than he was with most people, so this wasn't too bad. But he knew it wasn't the same as a friendship, there was more to dating. He knew it, he wasn't stupid, but it wasn't something he grasped entierly as he'd never tried dating and never had an intrest in it. He just sort of ignored it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2023 9:52 pm
There was a uncomfortable lump in his throat.
"Yeah." He said, not wanting to waver on asking. If he was unsure, then it might make it seem like he wasn't fulling thinking this through or was second guessing the decision. He knew if someone asked him out, he'd feel awful if they weren't sure or looked like they were just doing it without fully putting any feeling or thought in it.
"You don't have to do anything or - I don't expect what you don't want. You can call it off anytime if it just doesn't feel right or you don't think we work. I don't mind being friends it's just - it's easy to talk to you. And I think it would be like, really nice and everything. And I haven't really dated much and I'm kinda slower than most people, but if you don't trying things out with me than - than I would like to take you out.....sometime." He said, already feeling the burst of confidence already fizzling out.
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