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 Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:58 pm
"I see..." The blurred movement was taken in for all he could, watching the claw move from his hand, then his lips, then back to the lap again.
"Even if they are secondary, you still have them, don't you? Wants and desires that don't match up to this perfect little image you're trying to form yourself into. I think, perhaps then, we made that promise just a little too soon." This time, Mali pulled away completely, moving from Vivre's side to sit crossed legged before him, distance kept by Vivre's outstretched feet. Only brief moments were taken to gaze his hands, his eyes, and slowly Mali was beginning to realize that what he wanted was likely out of reach.
"You're right. I am selfish. For once, I want to be selfish with you. I want all of what you said, That special place just for me, something that distinguishes me from ever other person you meet and speak with. I want your thoughts of me to match no other. But I don't simply take. I am here as a Negaverser, but this isn't my family. I wanted to become yours to start with." What would he have gained from anything other than honesty?
With each moment that passed, he was getting nothing.
"If your decision is to follow them, then be a good boy. I am no one special. You want to be a good boy, turn me in, ruin my life. What reason do you not? So far it seems I'd be better use to anyone whom you take orders from by being a starseed to sacrifice than a soldier. I don't think I can be that good boy you want."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:03 pm
"Become mine?" it asked, staring back at him.
Its head slowly cocked to one side as it stared back. This taking in circles was getting longer and longer.
"Do you want to ******** me?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:10 pm
Though his face did take on a red shade, Mali shook his head slowly.
"No, I don't. Is that what my character speaks to you? Someone who wants a simple ********? I'm not going to say it again, Vivre. I've said it over and over again what I wanted. And you said it yourself not even a minute before. What will I have to do to even make you have another thought of me besides some whining child, discontent about this world I was forced into? A threat to purify? If I'm looking to spill blood or change the world, maybe the other side isn't as effective in their strategies, but no one is going to threaten me for wanting more than I am given."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:19 pm
Vive turned towards the bed, setting his hands on the mattress and lifting himself up into the bed. Moving onto the wrinkled, torn covers, it laid down.
"I don't know. I'm just guessing. I never said you were a whining kid. You hold my hand. Touch makes you happy. You seem like you want to be intimate. So was just asking. Sometimes people who want to be close want to be close that way. How should I know?"
It reached down for the pillow and shoved it against the headboard.
"I didn't say I didn't think of you. We're talking aren't we? I wouldn't say s**t to you if I didn't think there was a point to it."
Laying on one side, is stared over at Mali on the floor. "What makes you think the other side will care about you? Senshi just run around over there with no direction and risk their lives for what? Nothing. Just hoping the Negaverse stops one day which they won't? They have royals there. If one really tries hard enough, then you can just say hello to your new King or Queen or whatever they want to do. Do you really want to fight your sister or you going to take her too?"
It watched him with half open eyes. "You want to forget about her? Forget about me? I can't give you a purpose in life, Mali. I can care but I don't now what else to do. I don't have all the answers to how this all works."
It's tone lowered. "It'd be easier if you'd just take what you want. Then you'd just be happier."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:34 pm
"Just guessing... Then you couldn't guess more wrong." Mali followed Vivre back to the bed, but not climbing on with him. He took a place on the floor near the headboard, crossing his arms ontop of the bed to lean a little closer to the halfling, finally bringing those eyes fully into view.
"Or I could just disassociate from it all. Go back to being a normal human and ignore the world. Focus on my own life, be completely selfish and let the world burn to ruin. Why not? I heard Senshi on the other side could reach their home planets. I could get there and never leave, die in peace, on my own terms. I can't be the 'senshi threat if I'm not there." His hand crept up a little, longing for that contact between them but stopping just short of reaching his hands.
He didn't deserve that right now.
"If I forget then it makes that decision to leave all that easier. Forget what held me back and keeps me from leaving. If I am selfish, then it's the selfish thing to do right? Right now, even if I wanted to take what I want, I can't, because what I want belongs to what he considers the ultimate power, a god, and I am nothing compared to that."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:41 pm
"You can go to your planet, but your planet would have nothing on it. Your planet is dead right now without you." It said, staring back as Mali moved to rest half on the bed and half on the floor.
"You could forget, but you might not even be the same person. Maybe that would make you happier or maybe you'd be just as miserable. If you are going to just find a planet to die, why go through all that effort? Why not just die now? Why not die for a reason?"
"I don't like people who give up." It said, frowning back at him. "What was the point of the deal then?"
If Mali just wanted to die, what was the point in meeting him?
"You could stay a officer and not do anything. Watch the war go and have no say to what happens one way or another. Be a pedestrian. Live a long life. Be a famous photographer." These were things for him, for the other world and other lives he gave up. They were beyond him now.
"There are many choices you have. I don't want to decide one way or another."
It watched the hand move and then stop. It seemed asking if Mali wanted to ******** had made him second guess any contact between them.
"It's other people that say you are the senshi threat. If you hate it so much, why not prove them wrong instead of writing a will?" But maybe Mali didn't feel that would ever matter. That it was pointless. That this was all pointless.
"If I could say anything that would make you stay on this side, what would it be?" It asked.
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 5:04 pm
"Didn't I say that already? Why do you hesitate? Why don't you take my starseed yet then?" They kept going back and forth and forth and back and forth, it was tiring, and even he could admit that.
"The moment you slack here, they notice. They pull you aside and force more propaganda down your throat, trying to convince you to stay, until you either break, they force an earwig down your throat, or kill you right out... I could keep going, we could keep going back and forth why I should feel a certain way, why you should fill a different way... But I'm tired, aren't you?"
Mali fully pulled his hand back, tucking them under his arms again, out of reach and closed his eyes.
"Nothing you can say could make me stay. Then again, I'm not planning on leaving either. It's been nothing but chats of what ifs over and over, hasn't it? You're making assumptions again, not that I blame you... For now, you could say something about how even with what happened today, you'd still want to see me again and I'm not too much of a dirty traitor in your eyes yet."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 5:11 pm
It was quiet for a long time.
"I didn't call you a dirty traitor. You're putting words in my mouth. Do you think I hate you that much? I thought we could be friends and become generals together." But that wasn't the case. Mali didn't want that. This place meant nothing to him and this place meant everything to Vitriol.
"This place is my home. I can't make it yours I guess."
"So.......what do we do now then?" It asked.
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 7:30 pm
Quiet was the enemy for overeager thoughts for Mali. It gave him time to calm down, to think, to rest and let all the exhaustion from the day settle in slowly.
"No, you didn't, I'm sorry..." Unable to resist the comfort it offered, he extended his hand and took a claw loosely in it, hoping that even after the awkward question about sex, and the general strangeness between them, it wouldn't be unwelcomed.
Even as he held it, he couldn't bring himself to look at Vivre again, choosing instead to press hes forehead to his forearm.
"... I don't want to give up yet. I'm upset, I hate it here, but I don't want to just leave... Not Nubi or Obie... Not you. I don't have a purpose, but I'm not against trying to find it.. At least for now. Being your friend, growing beside you... I can focus on that atleast, if you'd still have me." Speaking like this, voice muffled by his arm and the bed itself left him feeling vulnerable, even more so than being sprawled down in the Hall of Shadows.
There had been an attempt made to stop showing off, to stop thinking so deeply, to let Vivre only see the good sides of him, but never before had he failed so horribly in his life, and the longer the quiet stretched, the more it hurt.
"... I'll be a good boy." came the final muttering offer into his arm. "I do what I must... For as long as I can. If it becomes too unbearable, if I find it hopeless to continue onwards, I'll tell you, and you can pull on that chain to fix these doubts. If you think after all this, It'd even be worth it..."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 7:46 pm
Viv removed its hand from Mali but only to move so its back would be pressed against the wall, tailing moving slowly behind it.
"Stop laying on the floor." It said, leaving the space there for him. At least being thin and short had some advantages even with a normal sized bed.
"And if you want to live, then you're worth it." It muttered as it turned its face into the mattress to rest its eyes. It adjusted itself to set both claws in front of itself and desummoned its uniform to be in a t-shirt and jeans. Unlike every other agent, it didn't have another identity and life once it powered down. It was still a youma. It was still the same person there but in a different set of clothes. There was no other name to this person aside from the same name as the agent. Vitriol. Vive.
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 8:16 pm
Mali's heart dropped straight through the floor in an instant. The answer was clear, he should just leave. After all Viv...
Told him to stop laying on the floor... Confusion was clear in Mali's unfocused eyes, and he seemed uncertain at first. After all that, he still wanted to be close?
Once Viv settled, his colors suddenly changing as well, Mali gave a slow nod and crawled up beside him, slipping his shoes off first. Nothing more rude than getting filthy shoes all over the place one slept.
... How did he even get here..?
"I don't think I can power down here like you can, but.. My name is Landry. If I did power down, atleast I'd have glasses again, ha..." Nerves unlike what he felt before was creeping on his skin, hands unsure of where they wanted to go.
In bed, with Vivre, who had asked him already if he wanted to <********>.
"... Let me just say this, so maybe I can make this horrible awkwardness to go away. I didn't... I don't just... I don't want to ******** you because I don't want that to be the relationship we have. To put it in perspective.. Your hand is the first I've held. And now, your bed is the first I've laid in... Please don't think that's the sort of thing I want from you as we are now."
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 8:24 pm
"You said you didn't want it. I was just wondering why you were being so affectionate and if you wanted it. If that was your aim. It wouldn't have mattered to me one way or another." It said, turning its head just enough to talk, but still looking down at the mattress as it spoke.
"You don't have to power down, but I won't share your name. Its probably safer you don't power down here. I don't have another life to worry about. Its more comfortable for me to lay down this way." Even if his jeans weren't tailored for a tail which tugged the jeans down to accommodate for them. It was clear that someone must have taken a pair of scissors to them to cut enough to make it completely indecent and let the fabric be as flush as it could to the tail.
"Are you gay, Mali?" It asked. "Or do you have a fetish for dog men?"
It glanced up to look over at him. ".......you sound like you'd still want to do it eventually. Are you thinking about it now?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 8:41 pm
"... It's all very new to me. Being affectionate, wanting to be close to someone..." Vivre was good at bringing that color to his face, especially considering how unamused and detached he tried to be in most situations.
A lump was beginning to from in his throat, and he swallowed hard, trying to choose his next words carefully.
"Given the fact that I had no interest in any sort of desire to do anything with anyone up until I've met you... I cannot say. Men, women, dog people.. Half youma, full youma... I don't know. If they aren't you, I don't think about it.. And even then you think to much about, I don't expect sex from you ever. There's a reason I've not done anything in 21 years. It's nothing I ever needed." Did he think of it? Of course he did, but nothing in depth, nothing like a face or a certain person or anything that came to mind.
"... Even if I did want that eventually, I don't want to just have pleasure there for the sake of pleasure with a stranger. I'm not like my sister, ******** buddies are too uncomfortable for me. More power to her, as they say but... No, I couldn't..." It was Mali's turn to press his face into the sheets below, heat burning his cheeks and his knees curling up ever so slightly. They could only go so far in the tiny space, and at this point, he didn't want to touch Vivre at all.
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 9:10 pm
"Such a shame." It said, reaching out to pat the back of his head.
"Your mind and body are very mean to you. Of all the things in the world, it made you like someone as terribley suited for that as me."
It removed its hand and settled it back to rest alongside its other paw.
"I'm sorry I brought it up since it seems to hurt you so much. I'm being very unfair to you talking about it now." It watched Mali press his face to the mattress, unable to look at it anymore. Maybe it would never return to its room out of the awkward anxiety the memory of this conversation would bring.
I am not a very good friend. It thought.
But it wanted to see. It wanted to know. It was curious what Mali would admit to it and curious even still of what he wanted.
"I'll leave it alone. You wouldn't want it.. I'd give it on an order anyways." It admitted, and then turned its head just a little as if getting comfortable and closed its eyes. "Anything else would be upsetting."
And to that, it went quiet. It's tail went still.
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:20 am
"You know, that's not the first time I've been told that." Mali was no stranger at being told his mind and body don't work well together. Just as he was no stranger to being compared to someone else constantly.
It was only natural when one looked so very similar to another.
The hand on his head only felt antagonizing now, and he shifted to lie on his back and face the ceiling rather then towards Vivre. It's bleakness forced his critical eye for aesthetics, making up critiques and changes he'd made, and providing a rather good distraction from what certainly felt like teasing.
"If you wanted to keep talking about it, I won't stop you, but I have no idea what answer you're looking for. It's not my place to say what bothers me and what doesn't when it comes to your choices. Heh, I said that but clearly I like to say it alot. You just do you. Do what you want, do what makes you happy, and I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on. I'll be that good boy to you so that you don't have to keep worrying about anything in regards to me."
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