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 Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 6:09 am
Its teeth gritted and a half-growl rolled in the back of it's throat. "What?" It snapped and rose up in an instant.
"Who gives a s**t if it's bullshit to you. It's how it works and if you really were my friend then you'd ask my general instead of trying to bypass him. Are you trying to get me in trouble?" Did Mali even have a general? He never mentioned one. Surely he had some superior watching over him but clearly not caring about the rate of Mali's progress to become stronger.
"I could make a lot of stupid little assumptions about your superior but I don't know them and I have the respect as a lieutenant to know regardless of their character that I listen to them and follow the way things are. If a general came and told me to bark on all damn fours, I'd do it and say Sir after. If your general wanted me to wear a dress to see you, I'd find shoes to match."
"As for MY general. General Faustite. The one you wanna b***h about before you even met him, I'd sooner bite your tongue out and give it to them -" It shot a claw out to the youma who since now had started flapping in excitement, watching Mali. A few since had flown down to the ground, keeping their distance by only a few feet.
"- then hear you insult the one person who I owe my very life to. Who l wouldn't even BE here without his help. A person that knows me FAR more than you have in the few little hours we have talked."
It moved closer and with Mali sitting it was easier to see him eye to eye. Large paws set on his knees as it leaned in close, golden eyes blazing back. "If you really wanna get powerful, you better start respecting power and the people who even allow you to raise up in the ranks and protect your a** while you're doing it You can start by talking to my general because if you don't, then this here - it's done."
It stepped back while the youma about flapped and hopped about the ground and fluttered to the lower branches and fallen logs around them. Crackling, they opened their beaks to rows upon rows of tiny, skewer-thin teeth, pecking at each other in hopes of being the first ones should Vit move too far away.
"Do you get it now?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:06 am
Viv suddenly standing and growling wasn't wholely unexpected. They clearly didn't share the same viewpoints, given the conversation earlier already about Nubi... But he wouldn't lie, his chest did tighten and a sort of sadness fueled his next cold reaction.
"Bypass him? I simply said I'd wait. I'd wait until you've had your first time out there with your general. It's as you said, who knows what he'd have you do, if he'd even want me around. If you've gained that trust in him, if he lets you go out on your own, then I wouldn't have to ask him anything. I'm not trying to get you into trouble. Did I say I was going to sneak you out? Or if I was going to force you to do anything? No, you jumped to that conclusion yourself." Insults were held back. He knew there were things he could say to try to hurt the half-youma before him. I see now why you need those chains. Clearly you aren't ready to deal with people if this is your immediate reaction to something that makes you upset. I suppose you really are just a Negaverse dog.
The thoughts were quick to cross his mind, about wanting to dig deeper and find what really would hurt this man before him and twist it to the point that maybe he would attack him. Maybe he would fight here and lose and die. It didn't scare him in the least, but he found such great pleasure in the taunting that atleast his death wouldn't be a miserable one.
And if Viv were the one to end it, well, he wouldn't exactly be alone, would he?
There was that hesitation though, a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that no, this wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to fight, he didn't want to having Viv angry enough at him curse and threaten him. An argument over someone he didn't know, nor care about, wasn't good enough a reason to throw away what work he had put into trying to be more open and friendly for the first time in years.
He held his tongue, letting Viv get out every word he wanted, keeping his eyes firmly on the enraged halfling, only flinching when he heard those wings creep ever closer. And when Viv pulled his hands away, his own reached out go grab one paw and pull it back in an attempt to keep him from going too far away.
"Is that what you want then?" He spoke quietly, squeezing that hand tighter, feeling it tremble with his own irritation being forced back in a way he hadn't bothered to do in a long time. "You told me that I could say anything to you, but then I take that liberty and you get angry at me? Go on then. Rip out my tongue to silence me then. Feed it to the youma over there and I'll take that punishment if it makes you feel better. I can't stop you after all. This isn't my place, I don't belong here, and I'm only safe because of you, so if you really want to. Do it. But I'll say this, you can't expect me to respect anyone I don't know. No matter how much I want to be there for you, I won't give into intimidation. I've had that happen far too many <********> times in my life already to be afraid of it anymore."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:38 am
It was angry and when that happened, it got restless. It wanted to move around, pace, and there was a desire to test at the trees further off. Instead, he felt himself yanked and turned when it's hand was caught. It was difficult though as Mali's hand was much smaller than its, and the grip wasn't as firm as it could have been. Instead it was weak, and shaking as it held it.
It stared at it. It remembered when it's own hands were smaller than most peoples and felt that disconnect in place and time.
What Mali said spoke back to a previous issue Faustite had with Vitriol. The poor lack in socializing. The dismissing that kept it from connecting with others. The quick emotional reactions that flared it up too quickly. These were all things that needed to be quelled, controller, and fixed. It was strange that while Faustite keep himself as a steel calm lake, Vitriol had still felt like it's mind was a turbulent whirlpool.
It hated that Mal was right but it was hard to let go of what he had said about Faustite too.
"I guess you didn't say that." It's voice was a mumble, less clear and sharp under reconsideration of what was said.
"You pissed me off." It grumbled. "Faustite is important to me."
It explained, not looking at the other. It's tail flicked back and forth in agitation.
It shouldn't get upset. Faustite could take care of himself and didn't need it to come to his defense. Even worse that this behavior would be exactly what his general would reprimand him for and point out it's mistakes. For being foolish and too quick to snap at any misconceived slight. Now the work it out into appearing sweet and friendly dissolved in an instant. How was it supposed to be the Negaverse's Soldier's Soldier if it couldn't even talk to any agents like a calm and civilized officer? Had any of the superiors it knew and cherished ever acted in such a way without reason?
It needed to be better than this.
"I'm sorry."
Kinda.
The youma about them continued to cackle and snip and now without Mali as a target it focused on the birds and barked back. "Go away!" It threw it's one free hand out and the youma fluttered back.
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 8:25 am
He was calming down. Good. They both were.
Mali's shaking grip relaxed, but held firm and steady this time. He wanted to keep Viv nearby, but didn't want it to seem like he was forcing him to.
The choice to remain near was up to Viv.
"You pissed me off too, you know... The whole thing about Nubi, cutting her off. She's important to me, just as Faustite is to you." With each word, his own anger ebbed away, and his thoughts began to drown out the birds nearby, even barely hearing the bark Viv gave. How could he save this, what they had going between them? There wasn't much there at all already, but it was so quick to fizzle and die...
But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. The reactions were honest, and with honesty, maybe trust could be built.
He let a bit of silence fill the space between them after the birds stepped back, considering his next step, and absently shifting to hold Viv's paw between both of his hands.
It was soft, claws sharp, maybe a good metaphor of Viv himself after this outburst. Whatever the case, Mali knew that he just didn't want to let this hand go. Not yet, not when it all has barely started.
"It's alright to get angry, no one is blaming you or faulting you for such a reaction. And I'm sorry too, for pushing on like that. Like I said, love is complicated... You can't understand how I feel about Nubi, and I can't really understand how you feel about Faustite. But I'd like to try, if you'd want to talk about it and explain why I should care about him. Then maybe I'd go meet him one day, if you wanted me too, form my own opinions, and then have them as a basis to whether or not I would actually respect him. It's rude of me to make assumptions, I know, so let me take my time and change them, please?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 9:26 am
"No. I made assumptions. I always do. I'm bad at it." Bad at keeping an even conversation that didn't turn on its axis at the drop of a hat. Bad at not snapping at the slightest preciev d slight against it or someone it cared for.
"I don't know about you and Nubi. I shouldn't have thought I could suggest that. I know Les about you then you about me."
Dejected, it slowly sat down on the ground in front of the log Mali sat upon. It pulled it's claws free from Mali's hold to them poke and drag them over the dead, stone bark of the log. It would give it a distraction and an outlet for the still simmering emotions inside not to mention keep its eyes elsewhere.
Sitting, it stared at the tree as it let petrified pieces plop periodically into its lap and about the ground as it clawed at the stone. The bird-like youma had quieted down and, no longer seeing a chance for bloodshed, fluttered off to other trees. Only one remained up high on a branch.
"I can't say everything as to why." It started.
"But I can say I was in a bad place because of my own mistakes. I was ready to die and didn't want to live the way I was living anymore."
"I don't like being useless." It dragged both hands against the stone and a layer broke off and shattered into shards and pourous peebles. What might have been the bark was gone exposing the dead tree inside blacked and flecked with crystal.
"Faustite risked his life to take me in."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:12 am
This was progress... Mali thought so, anyway, and let go of Viv's paw when he pulled away. His hands moved to his lap instead, fiddling absently with a seam on his uniform. Each word spoken by Viv just brought more clarity to the situation, understanding that wasn't there before.
"I see... Then it makes sense why he's important to you. And it makes your reaction even more explainable. I can't be angry at that when you're defending someone who's done so much for you. From an outside point of view... It seemed strange, as it sounded like blind obedience, and it just sat uneasy with me. Personally, every time people wanted me to follow blindly, it was just abusers trying to get their way. I got upset at the thought that Faustite was trying to do that to you." Again, Viv was right, they new little about one another, today was meant to fix that but he supposed they dove too far deep in with their own thoughts instead of taking it easy.
"If you are feeling better now, feeling useful, then he can't be a horrible person in all ways then. He's done something to help you be on the track to finding your own happiness. And for that, I'm grateful." While he couldn't really hold that paw anymore, Mali did reach out to give the top of Viv's head a small pet, just as he had before, threading his fingers through those soft locks.
"... The name I gave you, Vivre. I told you what it meant, where it came from... But I hope you understand that I didn't give it to you with the hopes you'd bring me joy, thought that would be nice. It was a hope that whatever bitter and burning name you were given with before couldn't keep you from finding your own joy elsewhere. I wanted to help with that, but... It seems like so far, I'm just upsetting you..."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:42 am
"I trust his judgement and I know he wants me to succeed. If I obey him, it's because I know it's for that reason. It's because I respect him and want to pay back all that he has done for me." It picked out pieces of crystal from the stoned wood.
"If I am to be a good officer, I need to be respectful to my superiors. I've had problems with that before." It dug its claws into the stone, making holes as it tore more crystals from the speckled stone.
It's ears flattened when Mali pettered its head.
He likes to touch a lot.
It wasn't something he did during their last meeting.
"I get upset easily. Don't blame yourself for that. It's my issue." It said as it clawed more into the wood. By now he had a collection piled about him.
"I don't being joy to people. But being here as an agent makes me happy. Being useful makes me happy." To this it looked up. "If you wanna use me, that would make me happy."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:01 am
"Hhmm... Then I suppose I should learn from you. Learn to try to atleast behave. Draws less attention to myself that way, and that's how I like it." An image passed through Mali's mind, one of a child who had been scolded, and was half ignoring the person talking to them while they went about their business of stacking blocks or digging into a sand. A hurt expression, but not unwilling to talk about the issue. It only took time, and a willingness to listen. It seemed Vivre was no different.
"It's fine, I promise. If you want to get upset, get upset. It won't make me like you any less. To me, you are simply a young man doing his best to make up for past failings, and that effort is something to be proud of." Mali's hand didn't remove itself from Vivre's hair; though his ears had flattened, it didn't really seem like a call for Mali to pull away, so he instead trailed his hand to the base of one ear, giving it a little scratch there. He was curious about what sort of reaction it would get.
When Viv finally looked up again, their eyes met, and Mali allowed himself a smile, gaze relaxing far more than it had when Nubi was around.
"Despite what has happened, being with you thus far has brought be joy, in a way. I'm not alone, and I don't hate your company. You've already shown me something I wouldn't have been able to see otherwise just by coming to this place and watching you pick away at crystals. I do not want to say I'm using you for anything. I want to be your friend, and that companionship is all I think I would need. It is useful and if being useful makes you happy, then I'm entirely happy to oblige."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:44 am
"I can't promise I won't get angry or fly off the handle. I'm trying not to do that. I just don't notice until it's already happened." Before, Bismuthite would help keep it in line. The man knew how to spot when it was overreacting and put it back in its place. Without that, it was left back to snap at any preceived slight.
"You can get upset too. At least it's better than trying to be nice all the time. I don't want you to think I can't handle it. Even if just now I didn't." If Mali treaded too softly around it then it could never improve.
The hand move and with growing awareness passed up his crown and up to press into the base of its ear. A ear itself when it was human, was such a part of the body that had no casual reason to be touched unless you were doing an ear exam, piercings, or were intimate with someone. As such, they were sensitive. Add the fact it just got these ears and often forgot they weren't on the side of it's head anymore and the sensation was tenfold.
It beathed in quick and went still, now just slowly poking at the log with dissolved focus.
Being told it was just picking at crystals made it even more self aware and it felt a warm blush of embarrassment crawl on its face. "Okay."
"Do you wanna walk again? It's not safe to hang in one place too long. You can tell me stuff about you instead?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 12:05 pm
"That's fine. Believe me, I understand... While I don't fly off the handle, I get angry much easier than not. I am not nice all the time, and generally dislike being around people, so I'm quick to snap or say something rude. I tried hard not to be that way with you because I wanted you to maybe like me enough to want to see me again... Now that I say that outloud, it sounds childish..." His actions weren't an act, not this time, when he was trying to do something like win Vivre's favor. He never cared enough to lie about being a good person, and being cruel and hardheaded came easily compared to being kind. "We can work on it together. I'm somewhat reasonably good at holding my tongue. A few dozen heels thrown at you for comments will force a habit into you, for sure. ... Not that I intend to throw shoes at you, in any case."
The reaction was subtle; a short, quick breath, the sudden stillness, and then that unfocused gaze and sweet blush... Mali was unsure what he did, but he quickly withdrew his own hand, face flushed with heat from his own embarrassment.
"Mmm, sure, we can keep walking. If you ask me questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Anything at all, I have nothing to hide from you." Except an odd sensation that was forming in the pit of his stomach that accompanied his words coming out a bit too quickly.
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 12:20 pm
"Okay." It said again.
Rising up, the pebbles and crystals fell down from its lap and it dusted off it's pants and knee-high boots free of dust and debris. Cleaning itself off, it looked about with perked attention and noticed the few slender shapes moving around them. Their argument had caught other youmas attention and, unlike the birds, they were still hopeful the senshi would be left on their own.
"This way. I think our fight has gotten us some unwanted attention. Next time we fight, let's not do it where everyone is on my side. Kinda unfair to you " It joked nervously, ears up and eyes out and looking at the moving shapes around them. This wasn't good.
"We should actually head back for now." It decided and took Mali's hand to lead him back up to the path from before.
Walking, Viv's attention kept looking about them. Watchful.
"You don't live with your parents. Why?" Viv asked after a moment.
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 12:32 pm
The amount of debris that Viv had scraped away was surprising, it seemed like a small dust storm formed at his feet. Before they stepped too far away, Mali kneeled down, picking up one of the larger shards of crystals and slipping it into his pocket.
"A memento." Simply said as his hand slipped back into Vivre's as if that anxiousness and argument had never happened.
The evidence of their fight was more than apparent as those creatures came closer. Yeah... He wasn't ready to become youma food, so he gave his approving nod, following the haling back up the path. The joke though, that made him smile faintly in amusement.
This time, the quiet between them didn't feel so loaded, and the questions asked were answered honestly.
"They are dead. A common answer I find of people here in the Negaverse. They died when I was 15, car crash. We have aunts, uncle, grandparents, but fortunes does things to people... It wasn't pleasant, and after a long legal struggle, Nubi and I were emancipated. At this point, I don't think about it nearly at all, as we are 21 now, and need no one to look after us. We were all we had for a long time. Did everything together. Even when she decided to become a model, I joined on as a photographer to help her along. Seems like every conversation always leads back to her. You'd think I didn't have my own life."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:07 pm
It had a suspicion it was something like that. Either they had both gone to college together, had family issues, or they weren't alive. It tried to think of what to feel for that but not knowing it's own parents, it was left with no frame of reference aside from knowing it probably should feel bad. The downside was that attempting to feel bad out of an expectation felt dishonest.
"That must have been hard." Mali had alluded to a rough life between him and his sister. Seemed that it also involved money.
"I think it's you that always leads it back. She is your world. If she is part of your life then that doesn't mean you don't have one. I should know." It said back.
"How did you two wind up being in the Negaverse? I don't expect agents to just wander into a photoshoot too often to corrupt new prospects."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:27 pm
"You're right, as you often seem to be. It's a shame that the balance isn't there." Nubi loved him, there was no denying that, but it didn't feel the same as how he cared for her. There were times she could push him off to the side and not think about him at all, but he was always worrying over something or another.
Did she have enough money on her? Did she take her knife with her? Is she going to get lost? Unreasonable questions for someone his own age, but that worry just never seemed to go away.
"Well... We were walking home one night after a shoot. There was a strange man there, stalking Nubi while we were working, and security chased him away. Seemed that wasn't enough though since he followed us home. He grabbed me, held a knife to my throat..." The memory of that night still lingered in the back of his head sometimes, forming a habit of him touching the choker that guarded his neck now.
"Then he just dropped dead. General Cavansite had pulled his starseed, saved us, then offer us power to do the same ourselves the next time someone tried to hurt us. I tried to get a better explanation of what she said, but Nubi just said yes without any thought, so I followed suit. I think maybe she developed some sort of extreme loyalty to Cavansite because of that... I suppose it's alot like you and Faustite. Saved lives, given purpose, power... I just never felt that way because ultimately, I wasn't given a choice."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:28 pm
"How so? Like - she doesn't care about you?" It said, looking over at him as they walked, slower now and with less urgency now that they were putting distance between the youma from before and heading back in the direction of the Hall of Shadows.
Negaverse corruptions were not a one all cookie cutter deal and there were many reasons and many situations that found someone in the Negaverse. While Nubi was given a choice she happily took, it in turn put Mali in a place that he either not follow with his sister with the Negaverse and this strange new person or follow along with her despite having feelings against it. If Nubi was quick to decide on things and Mali wanted time to deliberate, as it seemed he might be the type, it robbed him of that process to come to his own choice.
Because Mali would not leave Nubi alone to take on something strange and possibly dangerous. That tether was there.
"If back then she hadn't decided and left the decision to you. Do you know what you might have decided?"
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