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 Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 6:31 pm
It was sort of like prodding someone with a stick. Nash was almost surprised that Lawrence wasn't attempting to shove him off the wall, though they'd already technically discussed the reasoning for that - paperwork and effort.
"Oh, I'm sure he did," Nash said lazily. "He knows what he's about, Melvin. He didn't have to do anything, he didn't even have to say yes, but it was what he wanted, and it was what I wanted, and why should it be any more complicated than that?"
Sex was sex. Emotional connections were pointless. Nash let out a small hum of thought.
"Anything else you want to know? Or is it my turn to ask questions?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 6:42 pm
"I sincerely doubt that there is anything you could ask me that you would find interesting. I wouldn't have you waste your time pretending to be interested in me. If there's anything you want to ask, certainly go ahead. As far as asking you more questions, I actually doubt that there is anything deeper than the superficial to learn about you. Because people like you are like that, a lot of spreading their legs and spreading their mind, never going deeper, never existing on a plane more complicated than why not?"
He looked the other man over again. "You don't even smell like prey to me. Because with prey there's a chase. With you there'd be no chase and all the calories would be empty, like those chips you were eating, just junk food. Maybe your bank account would be worth going after, but as a trainee right now, no. Charlie's bank account had plenty, yours will too eventually. Because capitalizing on boredom is valuable."
"Sex with Melvin is always more complicated than you think it is. He's not like you, he's something different, he feels, he wants to understand, he wants to know things. Just hope that you were part of the equation and not the answer."
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 6:55 pm
"On the contrary," Nash said lightly, "You're kind of fascinating, actually. In a purely neutral Switzerland third-party sort of way," he added, for clarification's sake. "I'm not interested in the emotional, romantic, possessive, whatever nonsense you have going on. I am interested to know about my trysts up here with Melvin, so either he told you, or you were spying, neither of which is really that big of a deal, but they both say a lot about both of you."
He could still hear the taunting calls of the kids in his grade, the ones who had painted slut across his locker. The only indication that Lawrence's jab had hit it's mark was a flickering across Nash's eyes, a slight muscle jumping in his jaw before his expression relaxed again.
"I didn't spread my legs the first time, he sat in my lap," he said, just to drive the knife a little deeper. There was still no anger on Nash's side, but it didn't mean that he couldn't be petty when he wanted to be and when he thought it was justified.
Like now. Nash blew out a breath that ruffled some of his hair.
"Sex with Melvin was ********. He's an intelligent guy. He knew what he was getting into. I gave him a choice, and he took the one he wanted. He didn't have to, for the record. It's not like I held him at gunpoint. If he'd said no, I would have moved on and been just fine."
The grin was sharp edged, a smirk. "You seem to have an awful lot of opinions for someone who isn't invested anymore."
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:09 pm
Lawrence shrugged his shoulders. "He didn't tell me." he said matter of factly. "So make whatever assumptions you like about me, the image you paint in your mind of me won't even be a sliver of who I actually am." It would be a fraction, a part of just one version of himself, Dr Michaels.
The tension was noted, as tension always was with someone like Lawrence.
"Yes. I'm sure he did." he said. "The leg spreading was a metaphor, a generalised image of what you do, comparing you to a woman who does the same, insinuating that you sell your body, but of course you don't sell it do you? You just give it away to anyone with a good story. Nothing wrong with that, everyone needs a bit of junk food now and then, creature comfort, an old rag of a t-shirt to paint in, nothing you'd wear out to dinner though." And he smiled in a cordial sort of way.
"Oh yes I'm certain he chose it, I knew he would choose it. It's almost fortunate that he did, it was either a rebound of sex or a rebound into something much darker. I like him alive so this was and is fine."
He gave up on the hood, pulling it back to uncover his hair, turning his face upwards to the rain, eyes closed, letting it run across him and down his throat. There was a scar on the side of his neck that was visible like this, an ugly twisted one, not large but still present, at the level where it'd normally be covered by a collar.
"I did not say I wasn't invested." he said. "I invested time, I invested effort, I shaped and molded him. I made him part of me. When he speaks so too does a small sliver of me. I said I was never anywhere in a position to be emotionally over him, but the physical investment was substantial. I am interested in him. I am always interested in him. I like to know what he does and what sort of standards he sets for himself."
He gave a sweet little smile. "And right now he could really be doing much better for himself, if he can't find encounters with people who value themselves how is he ever going to learn his own inherent divinity?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:31 pm
Well, that certainly explained it. Nash gave Lawrence a scrutinizing sort of look, brows drawing down, lips pressing together. All in all, it was sounding an awful lot like Melvin had an obsessed ex-lover, but he couldn't be entirely set on that when he had no actual proof.
Other than the obvious, really.
"Well, I'm glad we could put on a good show for you. Next time give us a knock, we'll make it a threesome, have ourselves a little party," Nash said indulgently, gesturing to Lawrence as though he was making some grand plan. "No need to skulk about in the shadows."
It was accompanied by a deliberately serene smile, in spite of the unpleasant realization that Lawrence was taking his game and turning it back around on him. Nash's gaze moved across the scar on his neck, still sitting with his knee propped up and his chin in his hand.
Acheri hissed inside of his mind.
"If you want to call me a slut, just call me a slut straight out," Nash said, with a touch of dryness, his voice calm. "I mean, why not just call an apple an apple?" His free hand spread out in a why not gesture, the umbrella balanced against his shoulder. "I think you may have missed the point of me not caring or needing to be - what was it you said? Taken out to dinner or whatever."
Laughter was a better option than attempting to knock Lawrence over the edge himself, the tension singing. Nash said, with deliberate mock outrage, "Wait - if he speaks with a sliver of your voice, does that mean when he begged me to ******** him harder that it was actually you?" He snapped his fingers together, pointing at Lawrence. "Dude. So it was a threesome after all. I wish I had known, I would have made more effort to be quieter."
Nash shifted on the wall, swinging his legs back over to the rooftop side so that his back was facing out once more, pushing himself to his feet and stretching. "Listen, I honestly don't give a s**t about what sort of investment you have or whatever. I value myself plenty, so I don't really need other people to do it for me. Also you're probably right, Melvin probably could do much better than me, but I was what he wanted and what he needed at the time, so now that he's had himself a little fun, he can go find himself something better."
Lawrence's sweet smile was returned with one of Nash's own, accompanied by a flutter of lashes as if he was the most innocent thing in existence.
"Or are you just mad because it wasn't with you?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:49 pm
"No, I'm afraid we won't." he said slowly, everything about his mannerisms and speech unhurried, as though they were at a dinner party which could last several more hours. "I'm a married man Nash. I made vows. And you are a good upstanding honourable man who doesn't sleep with cheaters." He didn't seem to have even an ounce of shame about what he'd done or what he'd witnessed.
"Well there's no need to use a word like that if you find it vulgar. I myself only use it within the context of the bedroom frankly. This is certainly not a bedroom. I think I'd prefer to stick to calling you a vapid, superficial creature who is less terrified of commitment and more too lazy to reach for it. Doesn't roll off the tongue the same but is still quite accurate."
Lawrence wasn't upset by the graphic description of the sex, nor of the reminder that it had been Nash sleeping with him. If anything he'd have rather even more detail was provided to him, getting a vicarious thrill out of anything that permitted him to place himself in the moment. "If you like." he said. "Whatever floats your little green boat. I'm not insulted by the concept of doing a bit of begging in the bedroom you know, I am the very quintessence of a switch. People just tend to prefer me in charge because I take to it so very well." It was more detail than he usually provided, but he felt like it was important to highlight to the other man how futile it was to try and make him feel shame in this regard.
"He no doubt will go find someone else, though I wouldn't place bets on if he seeks out better or worse than you, he might go up or down the scale. It all depends on if he seeks to move upwards from his time with me or to spiral down into depravity in an attempt to recreate it." He looked thoughtful about this, looking over only when Nash asked him if he was mad.
"You want honesty?" he asked with a smile. "No. I wasn't mad. Quite apart from the impossibility of me ever being truly angry rather than irate. I was there. I was there and in the moment I might as well have been either or both of you, the vicarious experience was absolute. It was not with me and yet it was with me. What is there to be mad about?"
He laughed.
"Other than perhaps everything being a little bit tame?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 8:24 pm
Nash dearly wanted to make some snide remark about the sanctity of marriage and refrained only just barely. Instead he said, voice laden with deadpan dryness, "Yes, that's exactly it. I'm a creature of upstanding morals and honors made of sugar and spice and everything nice."
And apparently vapidness and superficial everything. Nash rolled his eyes, because it was better than the alternative of summoning Acheri and letting the whip smash into Lawrence's smug, smirking face. There was confidence that was attractive, and then there was confidence that was just grating, and Lawrence was not the former.
"Aw, honey, if you're gonna get all intimate with pet names, then we should get to know each other a little better," Nash crooned, fluttering his lashes. He twirled the umbrella for added effect, scattering drops of rain across the rooftop. "Also I didn't really need to know what you do when you ********, but I mean, like I said, sharing is caring, and you obviously care a whole lot. And that doesn't surprise me, that you're a switch, since you're, you know - " Nash held out his hand horizontally, palm facing downwards in the unmistakable gesture for shortness. " - and all, gotta make up for that some way, right?"
A laugh escaped him, echoing around them. There was no one else here, and nothing else happening except for the rain, and it felt almost muffled by the constant downpour above their heads, muted and gray and unpleasant. This was October's favorite type of weather, but it was definitely not Nash's.
"Yes, because I'm so low on the scale, I forgot." He rolled his eyes again. "That ego of yours is a delight, really. I'm sure I could slum it with the best of them, you know, pass myself around until I'm really at the bottom of everything."
The tame comment inwardly made him bristle, even though it had no reason to. "You know, they have pills for that," Nash said helpfully, gesturing lewdly to his crotch area. "If you're struggling at home with the hubby and can't get it up with him, so you have to come skulk in the shadows and watch your ex-boyfriend ******** someone else."
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 8:51 pm
The look Nash got for his crack about height was one significantly colder than he'd received at any point prior. Lawrence was always acutely aware of the fact that he was not only short but extremely slight in build. Nash had managed almost accidentally to hit him in a point more sensitive even than usual because he had often found himself relegated to being topped when he was younger, a position he didn't always appreciate, simply by virtue of the fact he wasn't muscular or imposing enough to be taken seriously elsewhere. It didn't make him angry or irate the way it might normally have thanks to the medicine, but he felt it nonetheless, Butch growling in his thoughts. "There's certainly no need to make up for anything in me, any shortcomings are veritably eclipsed by my numerous excellent features. I switch because I feel like it and because I'm the sort of generous person to give someone exactly what they want to get what I want."
"You are already well on the way to the epitome of slumming it based on what you've had to say so far, so I heartily encourage you doing your best to be the lowest most depraved creature you can be." There was a flicker of a thought as he mentioned depraved creatures and he seemingly unrelatedly added. "Though if I ever catch you near my sons, we will have to have real words about where depravity draws a line."
"Also, sorry to throw a bucket of cold water on your little fantasy, but It wasn't some voyeuristic thing." he said, not defensively but matter-of-factly. "Not that I haven't indulged in some degree of that in my time, simply was not the case with both of you at all. Vicarious observation and getting off are very different creatures. I observe, memorise each movement, compare it against previous data, it is repetition in a sense, like listening to a tune and picking out the notes that are different than the last time you heard it. Melvin is fascinating, that was the central focus of it all. You were nothing but a side player." he shrugged. "Fortunately I have never, ever had a problem getting it up. The source of quite a few of my problems even in the last few years, one might say."
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 9:11 pm
"Oh, they're most certainly shortcomings," Nash said airily, with deliberate and obnoxious emphasis on that single syllable of the word. "And yes, I'm sure you're all fine and dandy and yada yada yada, heard it all before. The more someone tries to extol their own virtues and praise their own assets, the more shortcomings they tend to try and cover up."
Lawrence's words were rippling across the surface of Nash's mind, grating at him like a physical thing that he was trying to do his best to ignore. "Yes, I'll get right on that, just for you," he said dryly, and then added, sounding bored of the conversation, "I'm not interested in kids, but thanks for the reminder that you're a surly old man."
He did not want to continue this conversation. Nash spun the umbrella again, just to have something to do with his hands. "Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe," he said. "You don't have to make things up, it's okay, we all know you just wanted to get a little action in and all that. And you're right, Melvin is interesting, and maybe I was just a side player, but I'm okay with that. He's the one that chose, not me."
Nash took a step backwards towards the stairwell, the umbrella falling to the side as he gave up trying to hold it in place. Rain spattered the top of his head and slid down the sides of his face, cold and hard. "Oh, well then, by all means, stick your d**k wherever you want, since that's the source of all your issues or whatever. Me, I prefer to have standards, but if you just want to throw it around like that, I won't judge."
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Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:22 am
Lawrs expression was serene as he watched Nash move towards the stairs. He wouldn't forget the insults in a hurry, though reacting to them here and now would be pointless. "Standards." he said, with a chuckle.
"Toodlepip Nash." and he lazily wiggled his fingers in the other man's direction.
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