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"You don' hafta be all the time, but yer gettin' better."

He squeezed her a little tighter.

"N' when you don' feel like it, I'll be there, okay?"

His heart started racing faster, but Dawson knew he said s**t like that all the time. God, why had he been so stupid? No, not stupid, but--

"I was afraid to, before."

"I think so, yeah." She wasn't understanding. He chewed the inside of his cheek anxiously and struggled to find a better way of communicating it. "Those other selves we had...You remember 'em, right?"

Of course she probably did, you stupid dumbass ******** been thinkin' it over some." His voice grew softer, almost a rumble. "That was a better me in e'rry sense a'the word. N' you, you were more carefree. N' they just...got what they wanted, right?" That was one way of putting it. He was blushing just mentioning it. "'Cause he wasn't scared a'it like I was. N' he had his own dead girlfriend 'er whatever, but he could get past it, n', like..."

He was starting to ramble.

Nio Love

Dawson gave a self-conscious chuckle when their eyes met and briefly broke the loop around her to rub at his neck.

"Yeah...So, uh. Yeah. Those were good times, right?"

He laughed a little more. "Right. They jus'...went for it, y'know? 'Cause they weren't afraid. N' neither were you, but I was here, n'..."

He stopped himself and rubbed at his face abashedly. "Jesus, I'm s**t at this. Lemme jus'..." He took a deep breath and sighed through his nose.

"Okay, startin' over. You know why I was scared this whole time. I got ********' hangups like a call center after n' earthquake, n' I was too scared t'move past 'em. N' you were right: I ain' good at bein' selfish. I didn' wanna be, 'cause I think you could get with anyone ya want. I still think ya could. But if you ain' pissed at me fer makin' you wait so long, I-I mean..."

"Okay. Uh." He took her other hand, like a child reaching out. "I was stupid fer not being ready, 'cause I don' think I can be ready fer somethin' fer somethin' I ain't even given a shot yet. 'Cause I was scared. Still am." His expression became more resolute. "Ain' no excuse. You n' me, we basically been datin' since ferever at this point anyway, right? So...let's make it official."

Syn began to cackle. This didn't help things.

"I-I mean, I guess?" Dawson was confused and a little anxious. "I shouldn't'a, though. Made you wait, I mean."

"No," Dawson agreed with a sigh. "But it wasn' like...I mean, I was a ********' weenie...There was s**t goin' on, n..." He let the sentence go before he dug himself a hole with it.

"I-I don' want you thinkin' it's 'cause the pony thing, though." His brows knitted with concern. "Tha's not it, honest. But the whole thing, like, when we were attackin' the fake us, n' you were just goin' hard, I thought: Jesus, this woman's beautiful. She really could do anythin' she put her mind to. N' I had these, like, I guess I got jealous a'people when ya gave 'em more attention, back when I shouldn't have, when I had no right. Like, the signs were all there, Maebe Grace, you cain' tell me I was smart when I kept ignorin' it like that."

[ Please keep gushing. ] The chimera was wry, but he could tell the whole thing was entertaining her, and it bothered him. Like his mother was watching.

"Hey," he started to say in affront, but--Oh God damn it, now they were both blushing like high schoolers. Maebe was supposed to be keeping it cool for him. If both of them were flustered...Well, no. He liked seeing her like this, once he got past his initial thrill adrenaline. Maebe always threw him for loops, so this was his payback: watching her soak in praise because she deserved it. God, but after everything that had happened, she deserved the world.

With a nod, Dawson took another deep breath, exhaled, and then cleared his throat.

"Your Grace," he said as he bowed his head. He was trying to clear up his accent, trying to sound more courtly. "I've been in your service for many months now, n' I wouldn't trade a single second away for all the gold in the kingdom. But in that time, I have fallen prey t'the same sin any man would in my position: my love for you will soon overcome any sense of duty I have, though I have no royal blood to earn it."

Dawson's eyes were closed for both effect and because he wasn't sure he'd be able to get through the half-practice speech if he actually saw Maebe's reactions.

"I have failed you as a knight. But the heart wants what it wants, Your Grace, and though I have tried t'fight it, I cannot, for I am weak." He fumbled for something in his pocket, a small object he had kept hidden despite the discomfort and fear of bending it, but it was fine, thankfully. He presented Maebe with a golden bracelet and continued, head still bowed, eyes still closed, "I have spent the last of what I have on this, Your Grace, not t'buy your affections or forgiveness, but in the hopes that it will remind you of our time t'gether wherever you may go. That no matter the phase of the moon, be it full and bright or swallowed in darkness, I will be there with you."