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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:00 pm
"Ah..." Abel met Zevran's gaze for a moment or two before dropping it to his lap, suddenly hesitant. "I don't know if it's really a good time to mention it, now that I think about it. It's probably too soon - or too fast - but I... ah... For.. for as long as you want." They'd only been dating a few months after knowing each other for what, a year? And here Zevran was, half dead, while he himself had almost died, and now he was asking if Zev wanted to move in with him. Way to go Abel, good job; pick the time when his boyfriend was the most vulnerable and emotional after nearly being killed by and consequently killing his best friend. Wonderful. Perfect.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:15 pm
As long as he wanted.
Zevran looked away too, struggling to process such a- a gift? He didn't know what to call it, only that he didn't deserve it and that he wanted it. These last few months he had felt happy, accepted, he had done things and felt things he never believed he would and then - just before the showdown at the warehouse - Abel had told him that he loved him. It was too much, he couldn't- didn't- How could he say yes? How could he say no? His head was spinning suddenly and he had to close his eyes against it. Abel wanted him to stay, even after everything that had happened and everything he had done. Abel wanted him.
"I-" He drew in a slightly unsteady breath, let it out again and opened his eyes. Abel wasn't looking at him anymore- why? Zevran reached uncertainly for Abel's hand and took another hitched breath. "I want to be with you, for as long as you will have me."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:38 pm
The longer Zevran remained silent, the more Abel convinced himself that his timing was horrible. No, atrocious. Why had he ever thought to bring it up with everything that had happened lately, with how--
And then Zev's hand reached for his as he spoke, and at both he swore he could feel his heart sing. All of his hesitance and uncertainty evaporated completely. With a bright smile that practically radiated warmth the blond laced his fingers through his boyfriend's while his other hand lifted to fondly, lovingly stroke his cheek. "And I you, for as long as you want to stay."
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:43 pm
He felt too much, as though he would burst with happiness and fear and guilt and grief and so many things he could not name all of them. Zevran squeezed Abel's hand and averted his eyes again, took a few breaths in an attempt to calm the chaotic whirling world around him. "We can have a balcony," he said a little hazily, "a balcony and herbs. I- I will get a job, pay my fair share. I don't know how to do this." He closed his eyes and squeezed Abel's hand again with the admission, he didn't know how and he was scared among the mix of everything else racing through his heart and mind. "I want to try." But he shouldn't, didn't deserve to, but Abel wanted him. Had he tricked him somehow?
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:11 pm
It was more than a little obvious how much he was struggling with this - with everything - so Abel gave his love a warm smile and his hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance, and his fingers lifted from Zev's cheek up to run carefully through his hair. "Y'know, I've been thinking recently that my apartment's kind of too small with all my pokemon and me now, not even counting having you and Taavi and all your pokemon around too," he noted, his thumb running over his boyfriend's knuckles, "and that getting a bigger apartment would probably be a good idea. We can find one together, one with a balcony to put all the herbs you want on."
After giving Zev's hand another squeeze he went on, "I know you don't know how to do this - any of this - but I'm proud of you for wanting to try. You know I'll be right here to support you however you need me to.. and it'd be nice if you did get a job sometime to help, but I don't want you worrying about that, or about cooking, or anything like that until you've healed and recovered enough. Absolutely no worrying even a minute sooner than that," the blond finished firmly, not without a warm, affectionate smile.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:21 pm
Gentle fingers combing through his hair, he knew it was lank and disordered from touching it himself but Abel didn't seem to care. He swallowed and tried to find words again, why was it so hard? "A new place when I can work then, not before. I don't want," stop, breathe, acknowledge the ache in his chest and push it aside, "I don't want to burden you. You do too much for me, I... I don't feel I return it." Abel gave him so much, how could he ever repay it? How could he deserve it? s**t, why could he not just break out of these thoughts that ran around and around? It was like being sucked into a whirlpool, he struggled against it but the pull was always there and he had so little strength left.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:38 pm
"Mmh, I'd been considering a new place even before I thought to ask you, I shouldn't have much trouble affording it myself for a while. But we can always talk about that later," he pointed out with an easy shrug, content to let the matter rest for now. Speaking of rest, Zevran badly needed some but he wasn't sure if he could persuade him to sleep. At least, not just yet. "You don't burden me, sweetheart, never. Everything I do for you, I do because I love you, because you mean so much to me, because I want to." He ran his fingers through Zevran's fine blond hair once more before lifting their hands to press a soft kiss to his love's knuckles. "It's never anything that needs to be repaid."
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:45 pm
He had been going to say that he did not wish to be in Abel's debt, but Abel said there was no debt to pay. He had said things like that before. The memory was oddly sharp, full of detail; they had been at the autumn fair, he could smell it around him, and Abel was telling him he did not need to repay him for helping him after Estoque had injured him. He knew little of Abel then but he realised he couldn't afford to buy food, he thought it was a fair exchange but....
Zevran blinked back to the present, his vacant expression giving way to a slightly bleary focus on Abel's face. "You did nice things before you loved me. I didn't- I don't know where the line is, what is fair and what is not? What does one repay? I remember the way the light caught your face when we kissed on the ferris wheel. Do you remember that day?"
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:09 pm
...was he okay? Was he zoning out or something, or-- ah, there he was... mostly. "I like to do nice things," he said with a soft smile, his hand running through Zev's hair again before carefully circling round his ear, along his stubbly jaw before coming to rest on his cheek again. "I love to do nice things for the people I like -- and love. Unfortunately it's not a very clear line, and it's different for everyone, but for me? I can't think of a single thing you should repay me for, not one. And of course I do, I remember it very well. I remember the way you kept bumping into me all day, the kindness and respect you showed me when you bought food for me without asking why I couldn't do so myself, I remember the way the setting sun seemed to light a fire in your eyes... I remember how much I enjoyed myself, and realizing just how badly I'd needed that little outing away from - well - everything, pretty much. Mmh, we should take another little trip sometime... but we can figure that out later, closer to whenever you feel up for taking a trip. How's that sound, love?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:28 pm
Why were things difficult like this? At least wit the Crows he had known the rules, known where he stood. And he had been an expendable commodity. Zevran raised his free hand - the one with the tube in it - and rubbed his eyes, winced and frowned as he bumped the tube thing in his nose. "I feel that I should everything. Everything you've given to me and shown to me. Another world. I... I am glad though that I gave you that, an escape from what was happening to you." Abel was trying to do the same for him now? "We... we are still going to see your parents?" Except Abel's father might not like him, which still confused but now also worried him. He had thought... well that it wasn't something that would ever touch him, some silly backwater idea little parts of these outside lands had in their... uh... backwaters. But Abel's own father? "I'll shoot cans," Zevran said vaguely, "it will be fine."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:58 pm
"There's not one single thing you need to repay me for," he assured him, the hand holding Zev's slipping away for a moment so he could move the bag of gifts back down to the floor, then slid his chair right up against his boyfriend's bedside; the better to cup his face in his hands and lean in to press their foreheads together. As his thumbs rubbed slow, soft circles over his love's cheeks, he gave him a fond smile. "You've given me so much already, whether you realize it or not. We're absolutely still going to see my parents, yes, though we might push that trip back a while until you're well enough to travel. I'll have to talk to Mom about it sometime, not yet. And everything will be fine, don't worry. D'you think I could persuade you to get some sleep? You look so tired, sweetheart."
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:05 pm
He hated the machines and wires and tubes that prevented him from pressing closer to Abel but he was told he needed them and he felt it too, hard to get enough air and the rest must follow that....
Sweetheart.
"Cariño." Zevran murmured the word softly and sank back against the slightly raised back of the bed. "True, I am tired... You will stay if I sleep now? I want to sleep but not to miss you. Would that I could sleep on your shoulder." The closeness would be such a comfort but the things he was tied to got in the way too much for that, he would have to wait.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:25 pm
Hearing that word never failed to warm his heart. "Of course I'll stay, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere, I promise, though I'm sorry you can't sleep on my shoulder." Was there any way he could...? No, probably not. Damn. Instead Abel smiled and stroked his cheek again. "You can as much as you want when you come home."
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:29 pm
"That's okay." Zevran squeezed Abel's fingers and allowed his heavy eyes to drift closed. "Just hold my hand," he murmured distantly, "keep me here with you." He didn't want to wake up remembering again, hadn't wanted to sleep again because of it, but now Abel was here it would be alright wouldn't it? "Te amo."
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:03 pm
"I will, sweetheart, don't worry. I'm here. I've got you," he murmured, softening his voice a bit and giving Zevran's hand a gentle squeeze, and his other hand lifted to stroke his hair again. "I love you too.. with all my heart."
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