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 Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:34 am
Michael stared in surprise when Caspian brought up the topic of age, although his startled gaze quickly shifted into something more wistful, even if he didn’t mean it to. His hand gripped a bit tighter to Caspian’s wrist, a small smiled forced back on his face as he tried to ignore the lovely shade of pink coloring Caspian’s cheeks.
He wanted so much to believe that Caspian meant what he said. That he liked him. But surely he only meant that platonically, even if he said that he didn’t care about his age. It was just so he didn’t think Michael was out of tune with Caspian’s age group, or something stupid like that.
Was he being purposefully obtuse? Feigning ignorance when it came to Caspian? Part of him felt like he was, but then again, he could just have been making everything up to fit into how he wanted things to work out. He was just setting himself up to be disappointed.
“You say that now,” he said softly, reminiscent of the night before, “But what if I never leave?”
His voice was only slightly teasing, but he felt some relief in being able to share pieces of himself with Caspian, even if he didn’t think he wanted to.
“I’ll be thirty-one in November,” he added, knowing very well that he never disclosed his age to Caspian before. “You sure that’s not too old? I remember what it was like before dirt was around.”
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 9:13 am
His heart was in his throat and the words were out before he could stop them.
“Then I’d be happy.”
Caspian swallowed back the rise of emotions, bit them down, and offered Michael a small smile, though his pulse had ricocheted, clearly felt beneath Michael’s hand. “I’d be okay if you never left,” he said. “I’m just getting to know you - all of you. The more I get to do that, then, well…”
He gave a shrug of his shoulders, glancing away. “Then I’d be okay with that.”
Thirty one. Michael would be thirty one. It was around where Caspian had expected, and yet it still made him feel that strange fluttering sensation in his stomach, so much more real now that it had actually been said aloud. Guessing was one thing, but hearing it straight out…
Caspian’s gaze flickered back to Michael, the small smile still on his face.
“Ten years,” he said quietly. “It’s not too old at all. Not for me.”
But is it too much for you?
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:15 pm
Then I'd be happy.
Michael didn't know what he was expecting Caspian to say, but he didn't think it would be something like that. He stared at him across the table, feeling his own breath catch a little in his chest. He'd only been joking, really. Saying things that were intended to be somewhat serious but said in such a way that it sounded like a joke. That was all.
But the fact that Caspian was so open to wanting to know more about him was… terrifying… and a relief at the same time. It had been so long since he’d met someone like Caspian, and he was afraid it would be too short lived, despite what Caspian said.
“You might like me less, the more you know about me,” he said softly, his hand still on Caspian’s wrist, knowing that his own pulse had quickened at the words Caspian was saying. “I would say I’m not that good a guy, but I know you’ll just say different, so… I’ll save us that argument,” he offered.
He wished there was a way to ask Caspian exactly what he meant without sounding like he wanted too much from him. A ten year difference was definitely a large gap, and he knew it was made more obvious by their youth, but it could have definitely been an even larger gap. What then?
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:22 am
”Nah,” said Caspian, and his voice held no argument to it, no hesitation, nothing except a calm, firm belief. “I won’t. I could never like you any less.”
If anything, I’m only going to like you more.
A smile tugged at his mouth, and Caspian said, in a tone of gentle teasing, “See? You’re already learning, right? You know I’d never let you tell me you were anything but a good guy, so it’s best if you just learn know that I am, in fact, always right.”
His fingers were still around Michael’s wrist; he held on, the connection helping to soothe the ache in his chest, because he could feel the pulse that beat there, reassuring him.
“We should finish eating,” said Caspian. “I wouldn’t want your delicious breakfast to go to waste.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:15 pm
Michael stared at Caspian in disbelief, shaking his head at his resolve. He tried not to look like he was too glad that Caspian didn’t seem to want to give up on him, but he couldn’t help the small twitch at the corner of his lips.
This was a dangerous game, but it seemed to feel right and scared him at the same time. But he liked the smiles Caspian gave him too much to want to pull away.
But he did pull his hand away, at least for a few moments so he could move his arm to a more comfortable side of the table and held out his right hand, palm up, for Caspian’s left.
“If you think this is delicious, wait until I have time to actually plan something,” he said pointedly, picking up his fork again to continue eating only once Caspian placed his hand back onto his wrist.
He didn’t think about the fact that he and Caspian held each other’s wrists for the rest of their meal, or the fact that he really didn’t want to leave, or that things would undoubtedly be difficult at times especially with the war going on around them.
Right now, all he cared was the fact that Caspian wanted to be his friend. And maybe more than that…
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