Welcome to Gaia! ::

Jordan nodded, deciding abruptly that he didn't want to get into the intricacies of how the weapons were involved as well, didn't want to talk about the other lives lived entirely in the dreams that still sometimes reached him, though not as consistently as when he'd been sleeping closer to their source. That was another layer of it's complicated, one that was technically unrelated but also entirely related, and there was too much to explain and it would be confusing, anyway. He drank instead, then sighed deeply.

"Maybe," he admitted. "It'd be nice if it was easier to stay calm." He'd been better at it, he thought. Then he'd let the walls come partially down, let people in, and when everything had spun out of control he'd been lost in emotions that were too much, all at once.

"Hard to say. If I figure it out I'll be sure to share." Jordan half-shrugged.

At the assessment of his personal strengths, he huffed a sigh. "Thanks. I think it might have more to do with just having to get through it," he said, and contemplated his bottle, holding it up to watch the play of firelight through amber glass. He didn't feel like a particularly strong person. It was just that the alternative was giving up, and he'd decided he was done with that idea, so dealing with it was what was left.

It was a depressing topic, and they'd about covered it, he thought. At least, the part of it he felt like he could handle talking about just now. It might come back up, of course, but for now ... "Did you keep any reading material?" he asked, gesturing again toward the vague book shape that was vanishing in the fire.

"What kinds of books do you like, besides the unrealistic kind?" Jordan leaned back on his hand and drank. This was a considerably safer topic than relationships. "I like classic fantasy, and some nonfiction. Science, history, psychology."

"Urban fantasy sorta hits a little too close to home too often," Jordan said thoughtfully. "'S why I like the, y'know, sword and sorcery type. Nice and safely somewhere else. Without our monsters."

"Maps, huh." He thought about it. There was a slight slur sneaking into his words, and a touch of an accent, a kind of drawl that had more to do with California beaches than the South."Most of the places I've been are in California. Or nearby. Went to Lake Tahoe. But that was a long time ago."

"Guess that's like reading a novel, sorta," Jordan mused. "Look at a map and think about what might be there? Fill in your own details even if you haven't been." That was a vaguely romantic notion on its own, in the sense that an imagined place was idealized, without the messy details of what was actually there.

"Yeah, summer vacation when I was a kid. We got a cabin for a week and did a bunch of fishing and doing nothing, and Andy and I ran around wild and swam and got in trouble." He smiled, thinking about it. The memory no longer caused a pang of heartache. "Only did that one year but it was pretty cool."