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 Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:44 pm
Truth be told, Tolliver felt strangely more secure with Hitch's hands on his hips. He obediently swayed from side to side, trying to match his own rhythm to Hitch's, eyes still focused on his because if he looked away, he'd only look down at his feet again, and he was trying very hard not to do that.
The sudden and unexpected push of someone into his space, however, had Tolliver stumbling a little, and he fell against Hitch, breath catching in his throat. The irritation and anger on his lover's face startled him, but the hands that held him were a stark contrast, gentle and soothing.
"Logan, it's all right," Tolliver said quickly, as the person in question shot a nasty look over their shoulder and flounced back to their group, staggeringly drunk, by the looks of it. Tolliver was gripping Hitch's upper arms. He folded himself closer, a worried look on his face.
"It's all right," he said again, softer this time, and he leaned to peck a reassuring kiss to Hitch's lips. "I'm all right, Logan. You're, um, you're still - still guiding me, right?" He added, trying to pull the focus back to their dancing.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:54 pm
Even if it was alright, and despite already being embarrassed about the whole thing, this did not stop Hitch from flipping the drunken a*****e off as they stumbled away. Then, when he heard Tolliver remind him again that everything was okay, especially him, Hitch let out a long, shuddering breath that hissed between his teeth, trying to keep himself together and regain some of his composure.
His cheeks grew vibrantly red, and whether that was because he was still biting back his annoyance or just that mortified was really anyone's guess. "Sorry, " he mumbled, loud enough for Tolliver to hear, maybe a little uncharacteristically meek for him. Almost like after their fight way back in the beginning. He didn't like Tolliver seeing him like that; on the list of things that he worried would drive Tolliver away, long as the list was, that was right near the top.
"C-course, " and he pulled something out from somewhere, managed to mask the look on his face with a warm smile. Again. This was about making Tolliver feel better, not to regret dealing with him in the first place. He leaned in to return the kiss, just to reassure him that things would be okay and he was not a crazy person, really. "Let's dance."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:02 pm
He could almost feel Hitch's embarrassment radiating off of him, and Tolliver squeezed his arms again, trying to drag him away from his brief moment of anger. "Logan," he said softly. "Hey. It's - it's all right, you were looking out for me, weren't you?"
Briefly, his hand lifted to touch the side of his lover's face.
"Everything's all right," Tolliver said gently, and the return kiss only served to make him more reassured. The anger he'd seen briefly was reminiscent of the kind he'd seen back when Hitch had been yelling at him, but this time it was directed at someone else.
Tolliver wanted to ask more questions - there was still so much he wanted to learn about Logan Hitchcock - but he tugged Hitch back into place and shyly directed his hands back to his hips, Tolliver resting his own back on Hitch's upper arms.
"You like dancing, don't you?" he asked, and there was a tentative little smile on his face as he swayed to the beat, trying to pick up the rhythm he'd had before.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:26 pm
Another breath escaped him, but this time it was softer, smoother, and Hitch released some tension he hadn't even realized had coiled up around his shoulders. He tilted his head gratefully into Tolliver's touch, grateful in his own quiet way that he wasn't - that he was still looking at him the same way as before, if that even made any ******** sense.
"How do you always know what to ********' say to me?" he murmured with half-lidded eyes. It wasn't a question he expected an answer for; he just wanted Tolliver to know, really, how much impact his words had on him.
His smile, now, was more genuine as he started moving along with his lover, slipping back into the rhythm and squeezing Tollive'rs hips gently. "Love, " he corrected, leaning forward and pressing his forehead lightly to his lover's own, shutting his eyes and inhaling him over the scent of the club. "I think I love dancing."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:34 pm
The rhetorical question of course made him blush, but it was softer somehow, and Tolliver leaned a little closer, brushing a brief kiss to the tip of Hitch's nose; something small and affectionate, just to remind him of how much he adored him.
He didn't answer it, because he didn't know how to answer it, but he felt a warm, fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach that was essentially an explosion of butterflies and happiness. Tolliver found himself relaxing a little further, and his hands slid down Hitch's arms, rested just above his elbows, shifting closer still. He loved the feel of Hitch's forehead against his, the way he closed his eyes, losing himself to the music, and it was the same sort of overwhelming passion that Tolliver had been so taken with when Hitch had drummed for him.
(He almost said something stupid, something along the lines of I think I love you, but managed to catch himself at the last minute, swallowing the words and the thoughts, burying them away.)
His fingers clung a little tighter to Hitch's arms.
"I like that you love it," Tolliver murmured, and he was close enough now that there was hardly any space between them, the two of them simply swaying together beneath the flashing strobe lights. "It's...it's like when you played for me, that - that passion of yours." He flushed a little, but he felt strangely emboldened by Hitch's eagerness.
"It's...beautiful," Tolliver said softly. "I didn't - I mean, I love music, and I used to dance, and I never...I really didn't think I was capable of - of doing it again, but..."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:09 pm
Hitch gave Tolliver a little taste of his own medicine, wrinkling his nose playfully at the kiss and poking out the tip of his tongue, the edges of his lips curled into a smile.
He really did love this - the closeness of his lover, the fact that he was even here with Hitch at all, just - it was easy to lose himself to the music and the sensation of Tolliver's hands on his arms, the warmth he swore radiated off of him even in a room full of people like this. It drew him in and ensnared him, and he didn't think it would ever let him go.
'Beautiful'. That word made Hitch's eyes snap open, mild surprise etched on his face. He blushed again (******** stupid facial blood vessels); beautiful was never a word that'd been used to describe anything about Logan, not what he did or what he was. Not that no one had ever complimented him before, but... beautiful just wasn't a word for men, or that's how his mother would have put it. She didn't love him any less. She was just sort of set in her ways was all. Men were handsome. Women were beautiful.
(He never really felt like either of those, not unless Tolliver's hands were on his cheeks, exploring his face with feather-light fingertips and with an adoring look in his eyes.)
"Do I get to say I told you so?" he teased gently, easing in for a quick, chaste little kiss. "No, but seriously, babe, I'm - I'm really glad - you can do it, you're doin' it, an' you're doin' so ********' good, " he purred to him, hoping Tolliver got what he meant; his words weren't always the most ******** elegant but, "An' you can do it whenever you want now, 'cause you know you can - but you'd better bring me when you do, okay?" He flashed him a playful little grin.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:43 pm
He caught the surprise on Hitch's face, and it surprised even himself with just how much he loved it when his lover blushed. Hitch didn't show it nearly as much as Tolliver did - Tolliver himself was a pathetic open book when it came to his emotions - but he still loved seeing the red flush to his cheeks, especially when he was the one who had caused it.
"No," said Tolliver, almost playfully, and he smiled softly into the kiss. His face pinked with pleasure, and he turned his face away bashfully, Tolliver leaning in to nuzzle gently against Hitch's chest.
"I don't want to dance with anyone else but you," he murmured, and snuggled close as he swayed, Tolliver sliding his hands up and down Hitch's arms gently. "I still - I mean, I know I can't do a lot of things, but you bringing me here, believing that I could do it."
He bit his lip, glad that his head was ducked and Hitch couldn't see him doing it.
"It means a lot to me."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:47 pm
Hitch snickered softly at his denial and when the kiss ended, he watched carefully for a clear look at Tolliver's face before he turned away and hid from him again. Wanna talk beautiful? - he was pretty ******** breathtaking, really. Especially when he blushed like that. His eyes, too. - god he was in so ******** deep.
His heart beat a little faster against Tolliver's cheek, and he was back in the moment like they'd been before - maybe better, even, with Tolliver closer than he'd even been the last time, flushed and happy.
"I don't want you to think I'm just sayin' this, " he murmured, lifting one hand from Tolliver's hip long enough to stroke his hair, smoothing it down as he ran his fingers through it. "But I really think - I know you can do more than you think." It sounded tacky. That was fine; he just didn't want it to sound insincere. "Your ********' determination, Tolli, it - I've never met a person half as ********' determined as you when push comes to shove." He'd finally said it, and he felt a little stupid for it, but - really, someone should say it to him. He remembered Fritz's idle comment about Tolliver's leg, and wondered not for the first time if he talked to him like that a lot.
"It's kinda... you kinda motivate me. Y'know. To try harder an' s**t." He cleared his throat at the low admission.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 11:03 pm
It was either terribly pathetic or terribly romantic - or maybe a mixture of the two - but either way, Tolliver was utterly and completely smitten.
He could feel the beating of Hitch's heart against his face, and it made him nuzzle a little closer. They were probably not dancing the same way as everyone else, but it didn't matter, Tolliver simply readjusting his hold on his lover, eyes fluttering against the touch of his hand in his hair.
His mouth fell open slightly in surprise - and a warm flush suffused Tolliver's cheeks. His fingers dug a little tighter into Hitch's arms, and he felt strangely unsteady all of a sudden, a tremble beginning low in his spine and crawling higher, until he felt weak.
No one had told him he was strong before; or even implied it. No one had told him that he could have done things, that he motivated someone else, and he'd spent the past year and a half wallowing in misery and self pity, unable to see past his own anxieties to reach where he wanted - because everything and everyone seemed just past his fingertips.
But Hitch wasn't at his fingertips - he was right in front of him, in his arms.
"Than..." His voice caught in his throat, Tolliver blinking rapidly. "Thank you."
He drew in a breath and then -
"I'm crazy for you," Tolliver blurted out abruptly, and then flushed immediately, but he held tight to his lover, needing him to understand somehow just how much he'd done for him. "I mean - I'm crazy about you, you make me feel like I can - like I can actually do things, things I didn't ever think I should do, and I just..."
He took a breath, eyes bright, not with tears, but with simple adoration.
"I think that's why I want more of you," Tolliver said softly. "Because you - you make me feel like I can do the things I lost."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 11:36 pm
Tolliver St. James could tell Logan a million different ways how much he meant to him, and he would never grow tired of it - he would never expect it as a status quo, he would never take it for granted. Each way Tolliver said it was a fresh surge of heat and warmth that took him one step closer to... Hitch knew. He knew where it was taking him.
Honestly, it was becoming less a matter of whether or not he loved Tolliver and more a question of when was too soon to say it? He didn't want to seem desperate or make it awkward. Maybe he was being naive. But he didn't really care. All he cared about was this, Tolliver. And knowing he made a difference in his lover's life, that he could give him something no one else had...
"You don't know how happy I am that I can do that for you." There were no words that would suffice. They were weak, shallow, tacky. "I want to do that, I - I know you're ********' capable of so much, Tolli, an' I - I'm - oh ******** it, " because words were ******** cheap. Public or not, he leaned down and kissed him hard, deeply, his hands sliding around him to pull him into a hug that might be tight enough to drag his poor lover up onto the balls of his feet.
But there was just no other way to ******** say it.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 11:49 pm
He'd had no way of knowing that the man he'd met, completely accidentally, at a party where there was chaos and mayhem reigning all around, would ever grow to be this important to him, this meaningful. Hitch was tied so intricately into Tolliver's life by now that thinking of untying the knots was impossible, ludicrous, even.
He opened his mouth to say something - what, he wasn't even sure - but words were lost to him, because Hitch swept him up, pulling him into an embrace that made Tolliver stagger forward onto his tiptoes and a kiss that completely took his breath way. He couldn't do anything more than just cling desperately to him, and they were in the middle of a dance floor, surrounded by people, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered except for Hitch and his strong arms, and his beautiful, incredible self.
He was dazed by the time the kiss ended, lips tingling, and Tolliver ran his tongue absently along them, the taste of Hitch lingering.
"I...was right," Tolliver said, his head spinning. His fingers curled in the fabric of Hitch's shirt, and then he was laughing weakly, dropping his head against Hitch's chest and burrowing close. It was embarrassing and hard to admit, but he couldn't stop the feelings from overflowing, voice low and soft. "I'm crazy about you, Logan Hitchcock."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 12:15 am
None of those ******** people out there mattered; they could all vanish right now, maybe everyone could, and Hitch didn't think he'd give a rat's a** as long as he still had Tolliver. He'd half-forgotten he needed air in the throes of that kiss, and his breath was ragged after they pulled away.
Of course... Tolliver would have absolutely no idea, possibly ever, how enticing that flick of his tongue across his lips was. Hitch made a low sound in his throat, and even if he didn't come out and say anything about it, odds were his lover would notice something happen after that little display.
He cleared his throat and then grinned back at him, cradling Tolliver close in his arms and just enjoying - everything. Every word, every breath, the scents, the warmth, everything. "You too, " and he could say it freely, laughing softly, the sound rolling deeply in his chest. "You ********' make me crazy baby... "
Again, he reached up to stroke Tolliver's hair. "You wanna keep dancin', or you wanna go get somethin' to eat? - or we could go home?" Another low laugh as he added, quietly, "Either way, y'mind buying a bottle of bourbon? I'll give you the cash - we should have one." It was kind of their drink by now, wasn't it?
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 12:29 am
Amidst the crowds of people jostling this way and that, the pair of them kissing was not unusual. Out of the corner of his eye, Tolliver could see two people dancing so close together, it was difficult to tell where one ended and another began. Another two people off to their left were swapping drinks and then kissing after each one, laughing drunkenly against lipstick stained lips.
But he wasn't focusing on any of them, only on Hitch, right in front of him, looking at him with that expression - and Tolliver did indeed notice, and it made him blush further. They weren't two teenagers, grappling desperately at one another; but it was new and it was liberating to feel this way so openly about someone, and his constant need for more had yet to be sated. More of those laughs, more of those touches, more of those smiles, more of those hugs, kisses, more of everything that was Logan Hitchcock.
"Maybe we could get food to go, on the way?" Tolliver asked, and he smiled a little, leaning fully against Hitch. His leg, which had started to throb only a little after all the activity, was an ever constant reminder of how much he could tolerate at a time. "And we could - we could get some drinks to take home with us."
Home with us. Like it wasn't Hitch's place, but Tolliver's as well, and he felt his face begin to grow redder still at his assumption.
"I - I mean," he stammered, now flustered. "Just...yes."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 1:02 am
Hitch has never struggled with Tolliver's weight on him; by now, he was basically a pro at it, slinging an arm over his lover's shoulders to further steady him without drawing unneeded attention. "Food to go sounds perfect, " because let's face it, this was nice - but they both loved being home in their own little bubble, didn't they? "Maybe we can play some music, have some drinks, then - "
He paused, a thought striking him suddenly, a light blush spreading across his face and he fell very silent for a moment or two, lost in thought. It had nothing to do with what Tolliver said (he already thought of it as theirs long before then). Just something occurred to him, just then and there, and he wasn't totally ready to put it into words yet.
"Y-yeah, let's take it all home with us, " he still took advantage of Tolliver's words to distract from his sudden far-off look, flashing him a wide, bold smile as he led him out. It didn't take long to pick up everything they needed; somehow they'd settled on fast food because it was late, which was a welcome sigh of relief for Hitch's aching wallet. (Not that Tolliver knew that. - or had he guessed?) With burgers, fries, and one delicious bottle of bourbon in tow, abruptly Hitch stopped outside of his apartment, making no move yet to grab his keys.
"So... this was... " Now, he was ready, or as ready as he'd ever be to come out and say it. "This was... a date, right?" That faint burn returned as he carefully watched Tolliver's face for a reaction, wanting to be bold, but this time, he was the one that didn't want to assume anything. "Is it okay to call it that?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:37 am
He really enjoyed the idea of going back and just relaxing together. The evening out had been more enjoyable than Tolliver could have ever predicted, and he hadn't had such a good time in a very long time, too wrapped up in his own emotions.
The blush and the silence confused him; Tolliver tilted his head as he looked at Hitch, a quizzical expression on his face before he flushed deeper, taking ahold of Hitch's hand. He let Hitch do the leading for the next little while; fast food and bourbon were just what was needed after an exciting night at a club.
On the landing just outside, Tolliver felt his anxiety rising yet again, wondering if this had to do with his earlier slip up of calling Hitch's place home. He stood there, his chest feeling tight - and then an explosion of butterflies fluttered into his stomach as he stared at his lover, mouth slightly open, eyes widening.
A date. They'd gone on a date. It was as though the pieces had just fallen into place, and Tolliver sucked in a sharp breath, unable to break his gaze away from Hitch's, and unable to stop thinking about it now - he'd just gone on a date with his lover. Boyfriend. With Hitch.
Tolliver swayed a little, and then he leaned forward suddenly and found Hitch's lips with his own, pressing a warm, chaste kiss to them. The hand that was not holding the bottle of bourbon rose to rest on Hitch's shoulder, fingers curling against his shirt.
When he pulled away, his face was red, but Tolliver gave an emphatic nod, his hand rising to cover his mouth with the back of it.
"Yes," he mumbled, voice muffled. "Yes. Please."
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