Welcome to Gaia! ::

All through A'nos' talk and subsequent attempts to describe his less-than-stellar life as an artistic sort of Harper, Natai tried not to laugh. It first started as the slightest quirk of her lips and eventually her mouth morphed into a trembling line and small, shaking chin. By the end of it, and his description of his hypothetical travels via head, she had to snort into her tea to hide it.

"So not the artistic kind of Harper, then," She said once she was able to control herself like a proper political adult. "We wouldn't want you to have to walk back. Surely your ever devoted bondmate would follow you, if only to say he discovered places unknown as well. If not him, I'm positive at least a few of your admirers would travel by foot or air with you. I would make sure someone dusted your weyr for you before you got back."

She'd almost forgotten about the rather delicious, saved-from-rubbish gingerbread he'd so kindly bought. Natai finished her piece with a little last bite and reached for another. His jokes drew another slow smile from the goldrider before she threw out some suggestions of her own.

"A'nos and the Gingerbread Liberation. A'nos and the Polite Smile," A corner of her mouth kicked a notch higher. "The adult edition has the secondary title of 'Especially During Political Meetings with His Peers'. That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I'm afraid I don't know enough of your failings or terrible ideas to go about making proper titles. I'm sure the pictures would be lovely."

"Definitely by someone other than you. There were a few talented artists at Euclid; I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help were I to talk with them," Her mirth failed to be contained, bleeding every word with amusement even when A'nos pursed his lips. Oh, but. Yes. Yes she did know who he spoke of. His lips tightened. Natai's upper lip curled into a rare look of disdain, her dark eyes canted to the side in order to not glare at A'nos in reflex of being in private and reminding them both of a deadgl-- less than pleasant person.

"Don't be silly, A'nos," Natai schooled her expression into something serene and beatific, smiling at him like a winning Harper* and guileless Goldrider, newly hatched. "Of course raising siblings who are not at all color-biased means one is entirely suited for leadership. Abrasive sarcasm is a necessary tool for everyone in the political system, especially if one knows everything regardless. Perhaps we ought to up that education plan a bit more, just so the condescension can ride even further."

She nibbled at her gingerbread, smile replaced by a wry twist of her lips at her own ugliness. "Is that a fairly accurate representation?"


(*or Slytherin)

"Yes, please. I need to pretend I never said any of that." She gave a little shudder, just one, but kept her Good Girl face on. The brief slip into her own snark reminded her just how much acid she could throw into sweet words. Natai... didn't always like that part of herself. Sometimes, like now, it was necessary to not go and kick a certain bronzerider in the head. She sweetened her tea, grimacing just enough to be noticeable. "He honestly used the excuse to hire him because it would look good? I- A'nos, how? That is blatant exploitation, borderline accusatory to our Weyr. Even before, Crimsons could lead Wings. It's not as if they were the forever discriminated against colors in the places where they weren't allowed to drown in their shells."

Her head hurt. Natai never wanted power, only the security of being relevant it could help provide her, but using her dragons color as a bartering chip when she could use her words and thoughts just as easily baffled her. A dragon was to be someones other half, not a means to an end of 'hire me or you're full of color bias'. She bit into her gingerbread slowly, without the ruthless gnash of teeth she wanted to use. The question drew slowly raised eyebrows and Natai looking up to Look at A'nos, face without expression outside of the arched brows.

"Weavercraft, surely. I can't imagine it to be Healing. That would be biased and he so detests bias."

"Master Bereck has a lot of opinions on small squalling children who throw food at the wall, you're quite right," She smiled, however faint. His worry over the cynicism was waved off with both slim hand and a head shake. "It's not as if you're saying anything patently untrue or doing so loudly in front of a group of people. I said all sorts of nasty things when Iachixth was a baby, before Euclid, when people were visiting and half of them were terrible. Smiling and being polite can only last for so long when around friends or alone. ... Granted, having a telepathic bondmate helps."

Her lips tightened at the mention of him. Of V'ail. "Those poor Candidates," Natai said after a long moment, her voice bland in it's neutrality. The tight line of her lips didn't soften, nor her fingers on her cup as she took a small sip of her tea. Words. "He was not welcome at the Weyrhold. He is -- You know those particular sorts of people who say they are a nice guy? Capital letters insinuated, as if it were a title?

"All I can imagine is that they were scrambling for a replacement, you were promoted, and perhaps, just maybe, a wink and a nudge in regards to a certain sibling were brought up." Natai dipped her gingerbread in the tea, studying it with an expression too intense for the bread and delicious tea. "You spoiled me, I think. Now I can't ask the Assistant for information on Candidates out of worry that I'll be told something along the lines of 'they're totally the s**t'."

Natai made a face and ate some more gingerbread.

She caught it. He moved, her eyes flickered down and to his eyes again. The corner around her eyes tightened when he talked about the candidate; gingerbread stuck in her throat at the gross possible actions of the Assistant Candidatemaster. She drank more tea, let A'nos rage politely in a low voice. "I didn't hear of that. I hope he wouldn't but... it does sound like something he'd say. Unfortunately."

His questions hit hard, dug in deep to the multiple insecure parts of Natai's soul. She opened her mouth to reply only to find no words came, only silence. Finally Natai let out a breath too slow to be called a sigh and reached out with her free hand, fingers resting light on A'nos' own.

"My life has been a series of failures for the greater good," Natai leaned forward, her voice gentle and without condescension. But soft and only for A'nos. "In order to do what I thought was right, I disappoint everyone in some way, always failing them. I build things only dismantle them when others can't see why it's for the better, but it is. It means leaving them behind and encouraging them to catch up with you. The right path, the better path, will sometimes be the one where someone you love no longer loves you and you are seen as something weak or wrong rather than who you are. And, sometimes, it's not the right path at all and you've made a mistake. All of it is a part of having independent thought. For all it sounds lovely, it's not."

"You were a wonderful teacher," She agreed, her hand falling back to sneak another piece of gingerbread. He'd gone through all the effort to bring them over; the least she could do was properly assist in demolishing them. Natai listened, her expression lightening as he went about his idea gradually. Her real smile brightened up the previously less-than-ecstatic expression, complete with pointing the gingerbread at him while she eventually piped up. "That sounds like a fantastic idea. It truly does. Maybe we no longer need the Candidates to help run the Weyr but having hordes of young people with no skills outside of learning of dragons. There are more children than dragons; it makes sense. I can ask the Weyrlingmaster to discuss with the Candidatemaster? The worst that can happen is a no."

Natai huffed a laugh, her head shaking. "I appreciate your words. You're right in that it helped bring better things, it helped with all of this. It's true. The other truth is that..." She tapered off and leaned back in her seat, gingerbread on the small pretty plate, her hands wrapped around the mug she didn't drink from. Natai shrugged, small and unladylike, her eyes on the gingerbread before her. "It could still be standing. Euclid didn't end because we were struggling to survive nor because we were overly scared of raiders or Rogues. It's true that there were worries and some hard times but it was good. It could have stayed that way." A smile flashed, gone as quickly as it came. "We ended because it could be better. We would always be the small Weyrhold with the Stolen Gold. We couldn't have a Weyrwoman with the world the way it is and without something to hold on to the fact that we had every right to be there like a figurehead such as that, it would have been... difficult. Possible, but difficult. Coming to Trine meant the citizens would also be people who supported the system like Euclid and help keep it in place.

"I'm a traitor to a good many people for that. A coward, weak, too young and frivilous. A silly little girl. Disgraceful. There are many from Euclid who probably still hold it against me for rallying a majority and leaving." She smiled wawnely, and this time it stayed in place. The perfect serene politician smile. "I am not well loved by a large portion of my former people. I think you will do well with your own thoughts, A'nos. They're for the good of the people and you aren't hruting anyone with them. It can help many. I would support you."