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 Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 6:52 pm
Shiloh certainly couldn’t fault Ian for his inexperience with the whole dating scene, having no experience himself and it certainly helped that Ian looked even cuter when he was embarrassed, the red spreading across his cheeks. So often Shiloh felt like he was the baby of the relationship, inexperience, unsure and what he was sure was clumsy around Ian, Ian who always seemed so suave, so perfect. But he was human too, and it turned out they were both new to this, in a sense, and were both fumbling around, trying to find their way. It didn’t bother Shiloh, not really, he was happy to find out what being in a relationship meant, if it was with Ian, because he had meant it, when he’d said those words. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to say them again, still tender and aching but at least he could assure Ian of that, that he’d meant it. He smiled, lifting his hand and capturing Ian’s wandering fingers. He brought them to his lips, pulling a trick out Ian’s book and kissing the tips of them, nodding his head. “Yes, I do, Ian,” he said, his voice quiet but honest, his entire face smiling as he met Ian’s apprehensive gaze. “I wouldn’t have said it otherwise. I care about you a lot, you know, and I want to stay with you for a long time too and I enjoy being with you and, and… I don’t know if that’s what love is, I mean I can’t exactly say I’m an expert but I know what I feel.” Dipping his head in the darkness, he snuggled against Ian, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I know that there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be, than here with you.”
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:37 pm
His heart, which had already felt tighter than usual, now felt as though it might burst out of his chest. Ian stared at Shiloh with wide eyes, his fingers tingling where he kissed them. He felt frozen in place, stuck in a moment, and it was neither a bad moment nor a good moment - just a stunned one, a moment that he could paint into his head as something he had not expected to hear ever in his life.
Ian ducked his head, burying his face against Shiloh's shoulder as he curled up with his boyfriend, his arms tightly around him. He was almost afraid that if he let go, Shiloh would just disappear; that the words were like smoke, evaporating into the night sky.
"I like you," he said, his voice muffled by Shiloh's hair, and it was nowhere near what Shiloh had said to him, but it was a jumble of words, stuttered out in the darkness as he fumbled with his thoughts, Ian hating how his voice trembled slightly, how his fingers seemed to shake as they pressed against Shiloh's side.
"Don't," he said, and it was a stupid request, a selfish, greedy one, but he made it anyway. "Don't leave me."
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 7:52 pm
Shiloh laughed. He couldn’t help it. “I always thought dinner and movie was the proper date. But I’m not gonna turn down fancy, I’ve never done fancy.” Or any dates really. He was sure there’d been events that other people, girls namely, might have considered dates or hoped were dates back home but his obliviousness stemmed from a lack of interest – not the case here, not in the least. He tried to think what fancy could mean, a night out probably, or maybe a day trip. The portals were functioning now, so it was possible and in all honesty, Shiloh would welcome the chance to take some time off from the island. And it would be even better if he got to drag the best part of it with him. Ian’s fingers were soft and warm against his cheek, soothing in their touch and very nearly lulling him back to sleep as a moment passed, the two of them just sharing each other’s company until Ian finally spoke. The question was unexpected, for someone who Shiloh who didn’t lie because he necessarily thought it was bad, but because he’d never thought to, he just said things as they were, whether it got him in trouble or hurt, well, there were never any regrets at least, if he was speaking honestly. Shiloh nodded. He pulled himself from Ian’s hands to flop back into the sheets, his head resting against the pillow as he stared first at the ceiling, then back at Ian. This time it was his fingers that found Ian’s cheek and that traced the contours of his jaw for a moment, before gently bopping him on the nose, a smile on his face. “Of course I meant it, Ian. I promise you, I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t… How I feel. I like you a lot okay, I love you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:04 pm
He wanted to say it. The words were there, at the tip of his tongue, but his throat was dry, and his stomach had twisted itself into knots, and the words died, swallowed back down and pushed back into the depths of Ian's mind. All he could see was Patrick's face, the casual smile; and he couldn't admit even to himself that he didn't want to say it because he was afraid of the cost of saying it.
Shiloh had pulled away, but not to go far, merely lying next to him now. Gentle fingers caressed his cheek, and Ian's eyes were half-lidded in the dark, his breath catching in his throat. He couldn't deny, even with his own insecurities, that hearing it said to him - hearing Shiloh say I love you - was like a rush of adrenaline, a surge of hunger and desperation for those words. Ian ate them greedily up inside of his mind, tucked them safely into his thoughts so that when times were worse than they were now, he could pull them to him and remind himself of them.
His hand found Shiloh's, Ian pulling it to his mouth and pressing his lips to his palm, and then to the inside of his wrist.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me too," he said softly, words whispered against his skin. His fingers slid through Shiloh's, lacing them together. Gently he rolled over, pushing Shiloh along with him so that he could lay on his side behind him and wrap his arm around his waist, curling himself against his boyfriend.
"You should sleep," said Ian softly, after a moment. "We both should."
There was a long minute of silence, and then,
"You really need to come up with a better nickname for me than 'chicken.' "
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:53 pm
“Hm,” Shiloh grunted softly, smiling as he laid his head against the pillow after Ian had rearranged them, basking in the warmness of his body lying next to him, the weight of his arm against his waist. He was sleepy, it was true, especially after such a busy night but tired though he was, he wanted to linger in this place, this moment. It hadn’t been what he hoped, what he imagined, but it wasn’t the end, it wasn’t over. It was just a bump in the road or a flat tire but with both of them willing to get out and help push the car along, they’d be okay. They’d get to their destination, wherever it was, and Shiloh hoped it would be together but he wasn’t going to push it, wasn’t going to argue because the future was then and right now he needed this warmth, need Ian’s arms around him. He wasn’t sure he could survive the Island without it. It was selfish, he supposed, to cling to Ian as some sort of lifeline, as a reason to keep going, to stay strong, but it worked because he cared, it crippled him because he cared, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He could hear the laughter in Ian’s voice when he finally broke the silence, and Shiloh smiled again, playfully bumping back into him. “If I’m gonna be a duck, you get to be a chicken, Ian, that’s just how it is,” Shiloh grinned, his smirk clear by the way he spoke. He wanted to stay here forever. "Go to bed, silly chicken."
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