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 Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:42 pm
Only a few minutes passed between Anita's departure and return. She grabbed her coat and took a second to get it on and comfortable, lock the car up, then paused to give Tango some love and thank Duncan for watching over him while the rest of them did their thing.
Cruz smiled when Mordekai agreed. He didn't catch the man's discomfort over his own excitement, and the frei had since turned to look into the house. There wasn't much for him to say and he didn't mind the silence, some hollering from the men further down the way still audible as they filtered into a drunken gaggle.
”There you are,” he announced abruptly while Mordekai was distracted by the beer.
”Yo,” Anita stopped by the frei and lightly bonked his head with hers, ”How you doin'? Not too cold?”
He nodded. ”Good. Jacket's doing its job.”
”Alright. Just let me know if you're too chilly and we'll head back to the house,” she raised a hand and spread it out, covering Cruz's face with her palm, ”you cold blooded fartknocker.”
The frei giggled as she pulled away and tucked her hands into her coat pockets. She paid Mordekai a cursory glance, directed more toward the beer in his hands, and she doubled back with a quiet 'oh'. Once the rest of the bottles were taken back into her hands, she thanked him for holding them but said little beyond that. Cruz still didn't notice. Anita was more preoccupied now with watching her feet to make sure she didn't trip over anything on the walk past the gates and Cruz draped his arms around her shoulders. She didn't mind him leeching some heat from her, he needed it more than she did. With each step and a lack of conversation, though, the more guilty she felt. Did Mordekai even notice? She had no idea. Her own face was red and chapped from the cold but now it also held a flush of embarrassment and gnawing anxiety.
Hopefully it would be okay...
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:42 pm
Mordekai flashed Anita a tired smile before walking on his way. "Les'go, then." Every sip of beer he took was a small one-- he barely got any gold out of it the entire excursion. The farther they ventured, the darker it got, and the louder the men were just up above.
The silence of their accompanying trip wasn't as relaxing as Mordekai had hoped. He'd initially thought avoiding talking at all during the walk was better than filling the air with awkward small talk, but here they were. In the darkness, the blond allowed his smile to falter into a more neutral expression. Like Anita, he was studying the ground, but for a different reason-- he knew his way around, but he chose to focus instead on the ambient smell of pine. The sound of rickety bugs and the wind blowing through the grass. During the wintertime, the stream rolled on nearer to the trees.
Yes, this all seems familiar, doesn't it?
Mordekai drank his beer and attempted to chuckle beneath his breath, then looked up at the night sky. Anita didn't seem to want to talk to him-- that was okay. She was being kind enough to him already, to come to New Years, even if it must have been for Duncan's sake.
He looked around the pitch blackness. For a second, it was terribly quiet: then, a flicker of light. And another. The sound of flitting lighters echoed through the surrounding wood.
The silhouette of five men surrounded the dirt clearing. The clear pathway was only a few minutes away from the gazebo which, if it weren't for the darkness, would have been in clear sight. The noise of the boys competed with the noise of crickets from the stream, which was distractingly close, and even for a clearing, the neighboring area only a few yards out were framed with trees. A few of the younger men now held sparklers in their hands, fizzing with lights as they laughed amongst themselves.
Farrer had already strewn about a majority of their fireworks on the floor for lighting, and in Skye's hands were the box of poppers Mordekai had mentioned earlier. The first of the men to notice them, however, was Twain, who also had a sparkler of his own; he laughed easily and walked over to Anita, Mordekai, and Cruz. Mordekai was initially overwhelmed by Twain marching up to them, only to relax when realizing that Twain was focused on Anita and Cruz instead.
"About time," Twain handed Cruz his sparkler, then pat Anita's shoulder. He pointed towards where Farrer was, "We were about to start without you. You wanna light some fireworks, man?"
Mordekai quietly excused himself from the three to grab the box of poppers.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:43 pm
The first fizz and flash of light sailing through the air quietly startled Anita. She paused in her step and seized up, closing her eyes, but it passed not even a second later and she looked up at the trails in the sky with a smile. Cruz was equally enamored, jaw hanging and eyes as wide as saucers. Krak-pow! They set off and littered the air with lights and sound. Cruz flinched at the delayed pop, pulling himself from Anita, but rather than retreat he approached the clearing more quickly.
Cruz took the sparkler gratefully between two fingers and held it carefully away from himself so that the sparks fell closer to the ground.
Twain's approach caused Anita to calm, or at least be distracted, and she grinned at his question. ”s**t yeah. Just gotta find a place for the booze,” she held up the now eleven pack of bottles, which chimed when they clinked together.
That didn't take long to settle, the Blue Moon finding a spot beside the twelve pack Farrer carried down. Once she was set, she headed over to the clearing with Twain and clapped her hands once, loudly, to announce her presence, then rubbed her palms together as she surveyed the arrangement. ”Right! What do we got here?”
Cruz, not one to leave people to their lonesome in social gatherings if he could help it, watched Anita run off to the rest of the group with amused eyes but he made no motion to pursue. Mordekai was hanging back, doing what the frei didn't know, but for now he was content to just keep the man silent company and watch the sparks jump off the stick he held onto as they climbed higher and higher.
”What'cha got?” he asked eventually, not moving from his spot but turning his head to look.
When given one of the lighters, Anita adjusted her sleeves and pulled her mass of hair over one shoulder to keep it out of the way as she hunkered down to her knees. She adjusted the wick, made sure it was upright, before setting flame to it and, once lit, she hopped back up and shuffled away several paces. A smoky arc shot into the air with a shrill whistle before exploding into a brief shower of purple and gold.
Anita whooped, tossing the lighter underhand to whoever was within reach and paying enough attention.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:44 pm
After Mordekai grabbed a fistful of poppers from Skye, he set his beer down on the ground. By the time Cruz addressed Mordekai, the man turned around again and swiftly-- carefully-- grabbed the Frei's free hand. He held out and dropped dozens upon dozens' worth of poppers from his palm to Cruz's. He was excited for the Frei, and it showed ever so slightly by his wide eyes and his eager grin, despite the nervousness in his gut refusing to rescind.
Mordekai held out the last popper in his hand. "These're poppers," he announced; he threw one to the ground, and it popped ecstatically. The blond smiled. "Throw 'em down as much as you want-- we got another whole box of 'em, so we're expectin' you to go wild, you hear?"
After Mordekai managed to hand Cruz some poppers, Skye set the box down and joined Farrer and Anita in the fireworks parade-- the two men shared lighters between the two of them before hopping a few yards back. Everyone crooned their heads as two fireworks lit off in near synchronization; green and white lights lit the air and streamed on down. Farrer shared a good laugh pat Anita on the back, "Good choice."
When Anita tossed the lighter over, Skye managed to grab it. He stared unamused at the two lighters now in his hands and tossed it towards Mordekai, who staggered a few steps back in order to catch it. Mordekai looked at it: it was Skye's rusted lighter from before.
Lyons called out from the side of dirt field: "Hey, Anita, you want a cracker?" The ginger and Garcia were quite a ways off, now, while they were fiddling with the crackers and shouting at the ensuing fireworks.
"'Course she wants a cracker," Farrer bolstered; he took a stick off of the ground and tossed it towards Mordekai. "Hit her up, Kantor."
Mordekai awkwardly fumbled to catch the stick and offered Farrer a confused look, initially, before resigning to flicking the lighter back on to light the cracker. It took a few flicks from the flint, but it managed: he blinked at the sudden starkness of fizzing light and held it away from him, turning his head a bit to avoid the light. He walked blindly towards where he (ever so vaguely) guessed Anita was from glancing at her last.
"With regards from Farrer," he managed to say; he laughed awkwardly and tried to face the sparkler, now, though he was still blinking with every shock of light. While he did so, Farrer and Skye ran closer to the firework display to rearrange a few of them, and Farrer, who now held the lighter Anita was using, called out to the group.
"Everyone gather 'round, this one's gonna be good! We may only have one not-crap lighter, but we're gonna domino effect this s**t, you hear? Form a line!"
Twain was already at the tail end of the firework pile, while Garcia and Lyons sprinted in from their tirade. Mordekai laughed and inched up to the column, making sure to look back at Cruz-- and Anita, briefly-- to see if they'd follow.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:44 pm
This was good. This was nice. It hadn't taken long for Anita to get swept back into the ease and excitement of the group and her worries to seem distant enough to flat out ignore. She clapped and exclaimed with the rest of them as more fireworks went off and laughed at Farrer's encouragement.
Cruz's sparkle was tapering off when Mordekai came 'round and dumped the poppers into his hand. The frei was quick to make a crook of his arm and hold it to his chest in order to catch and hold any that wouldn't fit in his hand directly. He watched the demonstration just as his sparkler fizzled and flinched at the quick pop. Then he grinned. The now dead stick was held up and examined before he gently cast it aside and plucked a few of the small poppers from his collection.
Three poppers sparked in unison against the ground while the lighter switched hands several times. Cruz gave a delighted roar and grabbed more.
”Hit me up!” she shouted at Lyons. Over Cruz's poppers and another smaller firework going off, she missed Farrer's instruction and was caught off guard by Mordekai's sudden presence with it. Anita gave a sheepish scoff and took it without looking him in the eye, ”Thanks.”
Farrer's next set of instructions made Anita all the more eager and she hurried to the line. Cruz fumbled, not sure what to do with the poppers if he was needed as well, but eventually decided to form a pile of them on the ground. He could come back to them again in a moment.
Everyone took their stations. Flames sparked. Once Anita's job was done, she hopped back to her feet and skittered backwards while pulling her phone from her pocket. The camera was shitty but it would be enough to pick up the colors in the sky once they all set off.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:45 pm
The deed was done at record time. Before the fireworks could set off-- which would take a few moments in and of itself-- all of the men hooted with success and ran towards the beers. They all grabbed another bottle and laughed amongst themselves, while Mordekai picked his own bottle up from the ground and stared at the fizzing fireworks. The strings quickly ate away and everyone watched with hitched breaths: five, four, three...
A clot of fireworks set off in unison, and the combined noise made everyone cheer in celebration. A few backed up in order to follow the fireworks the whole way, their heads held high as an abundance of colors lit the surrounding woods. Reds, golds, greens, and purples showered above them like a glowing cloud: even if none of them knew the exact time, they didn't care. While they were showered in splendid light, the boys managed to wrangle from shoulder to shoulder for brief chest bumps, including ones from Anita and Cruz.
"Happy New Years!" they shouted, raising their beer bottles to the air, "2014, everybody!"
By the end of their congratulations, Mordekai managed to be choked around the shoulders by Farrer, who held him close and whispered into the blond's ear. The blond nodded quietly-- chuckled nervously, even-- until the man broke off from him and rubbed down Mordekai's hair. Once the fireworks died down again, and everyone sat down, Farrer took the lighter from Lyons' hand and looked back at the crowd.
"Alright, alright, everyone sit down. Moment of silence."
Mordekai immediately sat down while everyone else slowly acclimated to the following quiet. He managed to inch himself farthest from the crowd, but he grinned pleasantly towards the fireworks and where Farrer was. Quiet. He felt sour from feeling so overwhelmed from the noise from before, and mildly anxious from the silent excursion he had Anita and Cruz. This would be a nice in between.
"Thanks, Farrer," he managed to say, weakly.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:46 pm
Everything exploded.
Cruz stared up in near misty eyed wonder. His hands found his ears, cupping their small points to lessen the thunderous collection of sound. The frei hardly blinked as the domino effect rolled out in a colorful display. Anita watched with admiration, tucking her phone back away after a single attempt at a picture. It didn't turn out, just a strange blur of light.
”Happy--” ”--New Years!”
The excitement just seemed to grow. For several minutes the entire group was as active as the fireworks they all just set off. Anita yelped with laughter at being collected for chest bumps and gave them without a second thought. The raevan was caught by surprise, though he laughed it off and joined in as best he could. With a lack of legs, it basically amounted to Cruz holding himself out and getting shoved back through the air but he didn't mind, it didn't hurt.
At Farrer's demand for silence, Anita released a short whew and plopped where she stood, which happened to be near Lyons and Garcia. Cruz returned to his pile of poppers, first, and pooled them all into his hands, then floated around near Skye and Twain until he settled his ribbon to the ground.
Anita was still smiling, though she felt strangely out of breath. At the same time, she felt wired – and just a little shaky. She scanned the area around her, meeting Garcia's eyes with a grin, then Lyons'. She noted his bottle, barely visible in the low light, had just about a quarter left.
An impulse struck. Perhaps out of nerves, a desire for a continued distraction and more ruckus. Her hand reached out and took the neck of the bottle, pulling it straight from his hand, ”Gimme that s**t.”
In a single breath she chugged the remainder down. If silence hadn't been called for, she would have let out a triumphant roar – that also might have been helped if she were more used to the feeling and taste of alcohol. The hooch went down rough, burning her throat, but she didn't let it show outside of a grimace. Anita huffed once finished and held the empty bottle aloft, then fell to her back and spread out with her eyes closed.
Cruz's fingers hovered and nudged at the poppers, as if deciding which ones to pick, how many to throw. He held back for now, basking in the calm with his eyes closed and his chin raised. A light breeze rolled in – chilled but surprisingly not frigid, carrying the diluted warmth from the fireworks display.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:47 pm
Just as Lyons finished complaining about stolen cargo to Garcia, his gaze was ripped away from his friend unwittingly by Anita's hand. Still red-faced and completely smashed, Lyons stared at the dark-haired girl with bright-eyed wonder, his gaped expression barely readable in the dark. He stared at the empty bottle with an awkward, tilted smile, then waved wildly to the end of the crowd.
"Gimme more juice!" he hissed, though it was met with an aggravated shove of his shoulder by Skye, who he was sitting next to. Garcia smirked with amusement at that.
Farrer waited until everyone was settled before he began the second round. It was impressive how quickly he beelined down the line of remaining fireworks, though he cautiously had to go back and relight a few that didn't stick. The men nervously called Farrer back as a few of the wicks flicked wildly with life; Farrer skipped a few steps back before joining Mordekai at the end of the group. He remained standing while they all watched in still anticipation, the only sound coming from the rustling of their clothes and bottles.
Farrer placed one hand on Mordekai's shoulder. They both watched tiredly as the second round of fireworks set off with an eager jolt. At Farrer's command, the boys were oddly obedient, despite swaying in their places with booze in their system. Their expressions set into a different type of awe than before-- while still happy, it was somber and more collected. Mordekai managed to coax Farrer into sitting down, and the two men leaned back and watched, eyes half-lidded.
"I feel done, Farrer," Mordekai muttered, "I can't do this."
"You can, and you will," Farrer said, purposefully louder than Mordekai, "Happy New Years, you a*****e. Enjoy it."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:47 pm
While the second round was preparing, Cruz grinned and began spacing out his collection of poppers into groups. Handfuls. Anita watched this from the ground, unaware of most others around her for a brief moment. Once more started going off, she abandoned the bottle and pulled onto her knees, walking that way instead of with her feet, and huddled near Cruz.
Leaning close to his ear with a grin, she plucked one for herself. ”Watch this,” her voice was low, mischievous, and she gave a side long glance toward the small gaggle of men that didn't include Farrer and Mordekai.
She flicked her wrist. The popper flew and hit the glass bottle she'd left next to Lyons with a loud pang. Another was quickly snatched up and thrown, this one landing closer to the red-head's rear.
Cruz gaped incredulously. Anita stole a whole handful and skidded clumsily to her feet. Several more poppers snapped near Lyons and Garcia's feet and, over the remainder of the fireworks, she let loose an aggressive bout of laughter at their expense. The frei was disinclined to throw some more at people but he joined in with the noise making all the same. He took a big scoop of them and floated as high as he could over a small clear area. For a brief moment it rained with loud snaps.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:48 pm
Lyons flinched sluggishly at the first cracker. "What the--" He glanced back and found it difficult to concentrate on staring at anything in the bleary darkness. By the time a second cracker landed near his a**, though, he yelled playfully and jumped up from sitting. He covered his bottom with both of his hands and looked around, only to find that the other men were laughing wildly at him and Anita-- with Cruz-- had done it.
Before he could accuse Anita of the deed, though, Garcia jolted as well and burst into a stand. The two men staggered where they were, trying to reclaim some balance while their vision barely worked, with the eager help of both the beer and from staring at the pitch-white fireworks. Skye and Twain laughed viciously alongside them and broke the silence-- Skye, while nearly tripping every other step, rushed to get the remaining poppers.
It began.
Twain gathered up bunches of poppers and threw them towards Lyons and Garcia. With blind luck, Garcia managed to catch a few on his hands before they landed on the ground, and he retaliated by aiming a few between Twain and Anita. Skye, meanwhile, continued to antagonize Lyons, who was still in the process of trying to dodge Anita's poppers. He was also conventionally trying to dodge Cruz's, as well-- though the Raevan didn't aim at any of the men, the noise was clearly shocking Lyons into believing it'd hit him anyhow.
With a stark yell, Lyons eventually tried to regain balance on one foot, until he fell back-first towards Garcia. Garcia took one acquired popper and chucked it directly at Lyons' stomach, which caused the redhead to reel and writhe in place.
Farrer watched with clear cut displeasure as Skye kept administering more poppers out to either side of the crowd. Mordekai's face was between that of absolute betrayal and uncertainty, though he managed to force out a few chuckles before downing the rest of his beer. "Jesus Christ," he whispered, desperately quiet.
"Hey, HEY," Farrer clapped his hands together, though it didn't dissuade the boys from continuing, "You ******** ruin the silence and you can't dodge and aim worth s**t? What are you, blue-heads straight outta kindergarten?"
Once the fireworks began to dissolve, relatively, Mordekai grabbed another bottle of beer and opened it straight up. "Hell, you guys are too far gone to help me clean. Go back to the backyard, kiddies!"
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:48 pm
Anita yelped when poppers started to come her way. She was undeterred and continued her assault. It was only when some started landing near Cruz that he was ripped from his innocent stance on the matter and stared in stunned silence as a war broke out around him. The frei then followed his guardian's lead and began chucking fistfuls at their “attackers”.
God, they were so drunk. Before long, the alcohol she took hit as well and Anita's balance dipped – right around the time Farrer called out. She was far gone in her own way, falling onto her a** with laughter once she was out of poppers.
Cruz looked around when things began to taper, attention drawn to Mordekai who, up until then, had been almost a non-entity in the display. ”It's done?”
He flinched as a cold hand wrapped around his wrist. Cruz nearly pulled back until he realized it was Anita, still seated on the ground. The frei floated lower and she leaned toward his ear again, giving his arm a gentle sway. ”Why don't you escort them back. Duncan could probably use help wrangling 'em from someone who isn't completely wasted.”
Turning, Cruz surveyed the boys. It was really a wonder to him how they weren't completely frozen, but now they were bumbling, practically running into each other. Yeah, they could use a hand. ”Sure. What about you?”
She released his hand and waved him off, other hand coming up to rub at her eyes and face. Dismissed, Cruz gave a smile and parting wave to Mordekai and hurried to join the boys. ”I'm here if anyone needs help balancing,” he announced lightly, holding his arms out.
”I gotcha covered,” Anita finally offered to Mordekai once some distance was put between the groups. She pushed herself up onto her knees, then to a kneel, but as she made the motion to stand her head sank and took a knee. ”Oop. Just a sec, I'm a little swimmy.” Why did she even do that? It tasted like s**t. She wasn't much a fan of the effects, either, and for some reason it hit her like she hadn't eaten anything at all. Dammit.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:50 pm
Everyone huddled around the Raevan once he was announced, more or less, as the designated lead to return home. It took a couple of minutes for them to all assemble-- all of them save Farrer were a horde of bumbling and ferociously laughing men who kept vying for more drinks.
Starting from Lyons, everyone wrapped their arms around Cruz's shoulders and leaned against the Frei's weight. "The best man," Lyons began; he gave the Frei a peck on the cheek, "s**t, I'mma kiss you a hunderd times, you're so damn precious."
A few of the other men joined in on offering Cruz shmecks on the cheeks, the nose, the forehead, as their unique way of thanking him properly before they went on their way. Farrer managed to pry Skye and Garcia away from Cruz's shoulders for ease of walking, but Mordekai-- who had expected at least one other man to stay behind-- began to feel oddly ill-equipped. He offered Anita a strained, confused smile when she offered to help, though, and downed the last of his beer. In some part, it was unfortunate for him that this was only his third or fourth bottle, and his tolerance either gave him all or nothing.
Mordekai waved his hand weakly at Anita and sat near her. He took another sip of Blue Moon and crossed his legs. "Take your time. Thanks for offerin' to help," he rubbed his eyes-- how was he tired and awake so simultaneously? Was it the cold? "Shouldn't be too much to carry back."
It didn't take long for them to both sit down that Mordekai stared out into the open. His jitters were easy enough to pass off as shaking from his cold, but as he bunched one leg up towards himself to rest his chin against, he glanced towards the woods again. He felt awkward and terrible for feeling so demurely awful the entire time during the fireworks, but he kept recalling his discussions with Farrer, and what few interactions he had with Anita. The silent ones. The ones filled with avoidance.
"...You-- don't have to stay back if y'don't want to," Mordekai noted quietly, "I-- have a feeling I've set you on edge." It was the most elegant way Mordekai had thought of to talk to Anita at all about this, and even then, the way he blurted it off made it sound much less sincere than he'd intended. <********> He rubbed his hands over his temples and tried again.
"I mean-- s**t, it's no wonder you hate me. I sound like a ********' schizo all the time," he laughed, tiredly. Crap. That wasn't how he was going to say it, either.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:51 pm
Kisses.
Suddenly kisses.
Dozens of kisses.
Cruz began swimming, in his own way, from the abrupt affection he was offered. Each one bloomed some warmth, some energy, that the cold had been steadily sapping from him. Every time lips met his skin, it didn't matter where, a contented shiver ran down his half-spine and the croc let out a low reptilian purr. His arms wrapped around the shoulders of the nearest men, keeping them close, and before long all of them were in a strange sort of huddle. The frei did his best to direct the pack while Farrer took the helm. All he was there to do was keep them steady and on track, Farrer knew the steps to take and how to navigate. Cruz was weighed down considerably, though luckily it wasn't painful; none of them were acting as dead weight or he would have been completely pinned down like a scaly balloon.
As they left, Anita returned to her rump. She settled with leaning forward and resting her face against her knees. A gentle hum sounded from her in response to his initial agreement, then another, softer, one as she heard him walk over and sit as well. There was a brief and calm silence. The sound of his beer sloshing.
She adjusted subtly when he spoke, his timid tone succeeding in putting her on edge as he feared. Anita didn't lift her head but she turned it just enough to peek at him through her thick bangs which, along with the rest of her hair and the surrounding darkness, obscured her features completely. The downside was she could scarcely make his out, either. In that time, she prepared to speak; she knew what this was about, at least vaguely.
The only retort she managed before he spoke up again was a quiet stammer in her throat. His tone completely broke. Anita lifted her head, bangs disheveled and in her face but green eyes wide beneath twisted brows. Hate? He thought she hated him? Her head pounded and continued to swim listlessly but it didn't impair her thoughts, just her balance. For several seconds all she could manage was staring.
”Whoa,” she started softly, ”What the ********, precisely, that was exactly the amount of delicate handling she'd intended. Wow.
Anita winced. One of her hands came up and was held between them, silently asking him for pause. Her head hung again and she opened her mouth. No sound came out. Only breath. She closed it again and ran a hand over her face, fingers eventually running through and pushing her bangs back. Her face was easily reddened thanks to how pale her complexion was, and it showed on her nose, cheeks, and lips. She still couldn't look him in the eye, instead staring at the firework debris.
”I-- what? No,” she scoffed, the sound harsh, ”I do not hate you.” Her head shook idly, slowly, and when she wasn't speaking she gnawed on her lower lip. ”Why do you think I hate you?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:51 pm
God, Mordekai had already started on another bottle of beer. There were only a few left now, fortunately, but it served more as a distraction initially. The more he drank, though, the more choked up his throat felt, and he let loose a laugh at Anita's confusion. He wasn't relieved by her bewilderment at all, no-- it only caused him to reel back further and try not to unleash everything at once. To become angry like he did constantly last year-- that was no good way to start this year.
Mordekai's features were equally as red as Anita's. He rubbed his nose and looked away from Anita, briefly, back towards the trees. "I put you through s**t you din't need to go through," Mordekai let out a breathy, pathetic half-chuckle, "Again and again. I'd hate me, too."
I tried to commit suicide a year and half ago. No one should have to watch someone trying. The thought welled up in Mordekai the more he sat there quietly, but he simply rubbed his temples and eased out his stress through uncontrolled, stifled laughter, which he suppressed even further by drinking beer. He stood up to relieve his nervous feelings and quickly went over to begin gathering firecracker debris; he bunched up as much as he could in his hands, then dumped them in the empty carton Farrer had left behind.
The debris landed with a soft plunk. He stared at it for a while, unable to move. He collapsed back into a sit and covered his mouth, his back turned away from Anita.
"I'm sorry... Sorry... this is comin' out all wrong. This is stupid. You can leave if you want."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:52 pm
Anita watched Mordekai in a complete stupor. She wanted to speak, to refute, anything, but even when she managed to force her mouth open no sound came out. It wasn't like she had words ready anyway. Even if she managed to talk all that would come out would be “huh”s or “what”s.
She couldn't rightly disagree with his sentiment; she had been put through a loop through this and, really, she'd have rather not, but that did not outweigh what he'd gone through. What he'd put himself through. Everyone who was close to him. When it came right down to it, she knew jack s**t about anything that lead up to that event and it was probably for the best. It wasn't her business, it still wasn't, and the pit in her stomach from that first phone call was returning with severe discomfort.
When he got to his feet and started gathering trash, Anita shakily pushed to stand as well. Her eyes were locked on his back and having that point of concentration allowed her to steady her balance. Despite that, she couldn't manage a step forward. He hunched down. He apologized again.
”No, I'm not gonna leave,” she snapped as if the very idea was as stupid as this entire situation. It was.
Again, she huffed. Words failed to manifest. Anita ran both hands over her face in exasperation before she trudged to where he was and resumed his initial cleaning efforts. What he hoped to gain from this, she didn't know. Her expression was tense as she gathered debris, easily looking annoyed – she wasn't, not really, just confused. A little frustrated.
”I don't know what this is about, alright?” Anita spoke more calmly, with a softer tone, but her words were still firm, ”I've been trying to give you space.”
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