|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:57 pm
"I don't intend to fix you Melvin. You are a person, not a broken object. What I want to do is help you. Just. A little bit." She reached to try and bring him back. "It's okay, Melvin, they're gone. Trust me."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:44 pm
He eased back, slowly, and resumed resting against her shoulder, but going back to staring at the ceiling this time. "I can't just....turn it off. The only thing that ever did even a little bit was medication, and that just left me tired. Can't exactly be a hunter if I'm napping every day." He sighed out. "It's just.....always there. In my head." He tapped the side of his forehead before dropping his hand to his side.
"It's not that I don't trust you. I just......I can't be easily convinced that way. My head can't." He didn't know how to articulate the idea of his particular problem, and always tended to fall back on saying it was his head. His brain. Some collection of nerves that even fired off too much or maybe not at all or maybe not to the same group of other nerves. He didn't know.
He sighed out. "I can't shake it off just like that. If I could, I would. I just..........don't want to get as nuts as everyone else." But he could feel himself slipping more and more each day. You didn't stand up one night with raw knees from bending over, your hands raw and spitting from the chemicals that dried them out, and realize you hadn't slept or eaten without thinking that you weren't right.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:10 am
"Maybe you should consider medication again?" She snuggled the side of his head distractedly. "You won't be all better, but... well... you won't feel them as clearly? As often?... Any little bit helps... but only you can really choose to go that route, really." Rin shook her head, careful not to disturb his. "There's more than one medicine in this world for that, I mean. Not all of them will knock you out. But I don't expect you to experiment if the whole experience upsets you even more."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 2:00 pm
"Hmm. I'll check with the pharmacist. Just not looking forward to spending weeks adjusting to medication. I cut back and stopped a few because they were treating hallucinations, but that's not true anymore." He sighed at the prospect of taking pills again, and turned to rest against Rin.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:31 pm
Rin shifted and placed her hand firmly on his shoulder, "There's... ehm... more natural medications you could try. But. Um. They are not an exact science and might make it worse."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:27 pm
He turned his head just slightly, listening to Rin's heartbeat and using it as a way to focus his attention in order to think of body bugs less.
"Natural?" He said skeptically. "You don't mean like....flowers and magic crystals, do you?" He was not going to lay down in some incense suffocating room while someone placed gemstones on him and pulled the "bad energies" from his body.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:43 pm
Rin laughed carefully, her chest heaving rapidly and abruptly against his face before she settled back down again. Her heart slowing to a relaxed pace as she decided to answer his question, "No... nothing like that." Her voice likely sounded muffled to him and drowned out by the steady thu-thump accompanied by the gurgles, burbles and whooshing of her other internal organs.
"Don't judge me okay... I'm not like. Trying to get you uh... ...." she struggled with the right words to present this with. "It's just a thought. But. that stuff we talked about before? In my garden. We could try that?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:26 pm
He tried not to judge. He tried very hard not to judge, but even he had to slowly look up at Rin, wondering what was going through her head to even ask that. "That.....stuff?" He wasn't really warm to the idea. "I don't see how that is going to help me. I don't want to just be some burned-out lump on a couch for the rest of my life, or ..." He paused. "I heard it makes people freak out." Since he never participated, he wasn't ever sure. It wasn't like he didn't know the smell or see people smoke, considering he was in college, but he never sat down in the circles and took part.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:32 pm
Rin nodded carefully, "I read some things... it can help. It can also make it worse... the effect isn't permanent, so there is really only one way to find out." She gave him a tired look. "I wont push you either way. I'm just trying to think of anything that might help... not being able to sleep or even be... where you were less than a month ago is just... you're going to get hurt and I just... I have to at least say something. Before anything worse happens you know?" Her expression sagged further and she looked ill. "I'd never be able to forgive myself if I just ignored it and something happened to you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:37 pm
He looked at her haggard and worried expression before he rose up and crawled beside her, moving to lean beside her and pulled her to lay on him this time. She seemed to need the comforting this time around. "Don't worry. I'll figure it out. I'll try...what I can to work this out. I don't want you to kill yourself worrying over it." He leaned back to let her rest comfortable against him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:03 pm
Rin allowed him to pull away with a playful pout that was quickly subsided when she realized she now was the one with a comfy thing to lay on. She snuggled into his chest and slid her eyes closed. She listened intently. "I think I like you." Her lips curled into a smirk.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:07 pm
"Like?" His chest shook with a short chuckle.
He smiled, reaching up to pet her short hair once more, before his hand stilled, and he looked down at her. Slowly, he leaned down to whisper against her head. "I think...I love you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:13 pm
"Oh fine, if you must make it a competition," she wiggled a bit against him before relaxing again. "Oh yup. Yup. I definitely love you." That smirk peeled back into a flash of teeth. "I win."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:19 pm
"You win." He said, letting her have her way, before he leaned down and moved her down a little more with him. He was growing tired, and for once, he felt he could sleep.
"Hey...........do you think....people would care about Thanksgiving?" The holidays were coming again, but thinking about the last Thanksgiving, he wasn't sure if he wanted to deal with it again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:25 pm
"I don't know about other people but I'd very much like one," it was the best answer she could give you unfortunately Melvin. You might have to go around rallying the troops again like last year. At least you won't be alone in it this time.
She slid her legs and arm around him, it was the best she could manage for a hug. "And like last year supplies are going to be tricky. Gotta love Deus sometimes."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
