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Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:37 am
Robert was around and in his own seat before Mimsy could begin her little charade. At first, he found it funny. She was obviously trying to play this as if it were a game, an act, some kind of set of correct responses to any given number of stimuli. Robert stopped right there, and his face turned vacant. Had he really just thought that sentence to himself? He almost wanted to tell her what he'd thought, but it would have been such an embarrassing thing to explain. After all, it was because he was parroting words she'd said to him time and time again. Still, he was a little proud - because he understood them in context. Mimsy was the prettiest Rosetta Stone. It was when she announced that she should laugh, and assure him, that the joke turned stagnant. His amused grin faded from his face, lowering even more as she continued. His hands reached out, pulling both of hers harshly into his. This might have made any weight she was placing on them fall forward, but he was adamant - he held them both, pulling her across the table until her hands were almost against him, clutched within his own. "Mimsy. I ain't taking a girl who does typical things at typical times out. You understand? I'm not in love with some normalcy. I'm in love with you. Every single bit - even the bit that doesn't have a clue what she's doing. I love her just as much as I love the part of you that wants me. Not despite it. So do me a favor." He lifted both of her hands, and pressed the back of them against his lips, before finishing the thought. "Just be yourself." He settled her hands back on the table, but he kept them perfectly intertwined within his, holding them like lifelines. A waiter settled glasses of water beside their arms, but he left immediately after - they were clearly not ready to order.
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Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:47 am
Mimsy was so engrossed in her joke that she failed to catch that he wasn't laughing, and missed his expression entirely until she stopped speaking and he took her hands. Where had she gone wrong? Despite how readily he began to explain himself, she was already working through what she'd said; it wasn't a stretch to believe that she made a joke that was not funny to someone else, so it seemed viable as the problem. Then it wasn't the problem, and she couldn't gauge whether she should be relieved or not. Her assumption was much easier to comprehend. This was not even an option that previously could have been found in her mental flowchart of possibilities, which meant that she had no chance of getting it right on her own. "Um. I..." Svensyl snorted, and she just stared, lips barely parted, as she took the Jabberwocky's hint that she was missing something obvious. It had to be, because he scarcely noticed anything else. When she got it, she almost knocked over her water as she perked up again. She really wasn't used to the restaurant setting in the slightest. "Yes, I understand. My intention was not to concern you. It is important to me that you are also yourself - we discussed how incredible it was that we arrived at the same conclusion." Or she had, at least, which counted in her book. "It is a specific conclusion. You cannot be anyone else, because I specifically require you. Presumably, you mean the same." She squeezed the hands that held hers. "However, I still feel as if there is no harm in pretending, as long as it is for the sake of mutual enjoyment." With an apologetic smile, she pulled one hand away to pick up her water and take a long sip. There was a hint of a different sort of smile when she set it back down. "Or, speaking of...was that one lengthy method of telling me that you do hope that our first date will end in such a way?" Timing was the part of joke-making that she didn't really get. She clearly still didn't get it.
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Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:30 pm
He looked relieved when Mimsy once more began to explain with her genuine intensity just how important he specifically was. He knew that - he believed it - and not because she was telling it to him. She could have said those words a million times, but they wouldn't have mattered. He'd been the one to make that decision from the beginning. He knew just how important, how specifically important, he would be to her. Because anyone else who tried would have just hurt her in the process when they gave up. Anyone else would have wanted just one part of her. Her looks. Her mind. Her skill. Her kiss. And they would have, at their very best, accepted the rest of her as necessary trials to what they wanted of her. Because that was how human hearts worked. They cherished what they wanted, and tolerated the rest. It was typical, and it had worked for centuries. It just wasn't how he worked. Robert was starting to think that maybe Mimsy hadn't been so far off in her original conclusion of wanting to see what his heart looked like. He'd never thought about the organ inside of him as anything to do with how differently he loved, but now even he was starting to doubt it. Because he did not love parts of a person. He did not love parts of a group. He loved with a tremendous wave of emotion that engulfed every facet of a person, a people, a world - until there was nothing left unloved in his wake. He didn't tolerate Mimsy's cold, untouched heart. He loved it so painfully it made him want to cry. But this wasn't anything new for him. He'd been this way since the day he'd been born. He just didn't know why. Until the day in the lab. She joked about ending their date in bed, and he hated to disappoint her, but he didn't laugh. Because he loved that idea, too. So his answer was heavy, and weighted with honesty. "Yeah." He admitted. "Probably."
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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:35 pm
It was not the answer itself that surprised Mimsy, but the way he said it, in the importance and legitimacy condense into those two very simple words. She drew in a shaky breath and gave him half of a crooked smile. There was inevitably a reason for his tone, and she suspected that she would never figure it out, short of just asking him. This was one time when the serious repercussions of failed timing was extremely obvious to her. Now she was unquestionably in above her head. "Probably?" With an anxious laugh, she tried to hide how incredibly lost she now was by looking down at the glass in her hand, idly swirling the water into a miniature whirlpool as she tried to think again. It was as chaotic as the responses that fought among themselves to be correct here. "Okay." She had nothing intelligent or witty to reply with, and she blurted out the word on accident, followed by another awkward laugh. Maybe it really would have been better for both of them if she never agreed to this. " Okay." Still nothing. She cleared her throat and pulled her chair closer to the table. "How do you select where to go on a date? Why did you choose this particular place, for instance?" When in doubt, try something completely different in hopes of more reliable results. "Were you familiar with it? Or was their menu just appealing to you?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:26 pm
When she asked the single word question, his lips parted to explain. After all, she deserve to know just how much veto power she had when it came to that subject. But his lips snapped back shut when she spoke again. Okay, she said. Okay, she repeated. Someone was convincing themself of something, instead of him. He was vaguely worried. And more than a little thrilled. Oh. Oh look. A new topic. Robert latched on to it ferociously, leaning in while he thought hard about his choices for the day. "Well, I spent most of my brain trying to think up a place that I thought you'd like. After that, I really didn't think too much - this place is actually just a nearby restaurant. I didn't pick it for anything special other than it's location - and the fact that it served food I thought sounded like normal, and not all weird s**t. But yeah, prox.. symmetry." He nodded sagely. "I can't tell you much about how I chose the actual place I'm taking you. That'll ruin the surprise." The waiter finally returned to take their order, and Robert picked up the menu for the first time. It wasn't like he hadn't known all along what he wanted, a fact made obvious by his immediate order. "BLACK ANGUS BURGER. Medium rare, two orders of fries, and a plate of vegetables." "Sir, it's usually one or the other-" Ignoring the warning completely, he turned to grin at Mimsy. "You got any idea what you want yet?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 8:34 pm
"Spent most of your brain on it, hm?" Mimsy asked, her tone of heavy amusement just close enough to impressed intrigue to pass for it. "It sounds as though you have put more thought into this than I assumed. I grow more and more curious about this surprise as the day progresses. You are making it difficult to keep my promise, especially with this explanation, but I will persevere." This was harder than expected. Purposely attempting to avoid thinking of something often led directly to thinking about it, as most everyone knew, and making the connection that 'prox-symmetry' was likely meant to be 'proximity' did not help at all. If the waiter had not returned when he did, she might have found herself with an unavoidably broken promise. The distraction of ordering was a bit of a mixed blessing - it required enough thought that her mind no longer threatened to wander towards what little she knew about the nearby geography, but no amount of thinking could fabricate opinions about food. The ingenious plan that she devised after a quick glimpse at the menu was to order exactly what Robert did. However, that plan was very quickly determined to be heavily flawed when he ordered enough food to feed her for a week. Maybe another route would be best. She resolved to just pick the first thing that stood out to her, and with an uncertain smile and a nod across the table, she extended her menu towards the waiter and pointed at one of the main courses. The description contained words like 'seared', 'bubble', 'squeak', and 'claret'; it had easily drawn her eye. "It can be another first," she clarified, with a good-natured shrug. There were few other explanations that were sensible or sane enough to address in the middle of a public place full of people she didn't know, especially on a date. "You seem excited. Are you tired of our selection on the island?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 9:06 pm
Robert beamed proudly at the mere idea that she'd underestimated him, until it hit him that she might have estimated him just enough. What if his idea wasn't as good as he'd thought it would be? He was certainly building it up a bunch now, wasn't he? He was going to disappoint her. The realization came to him like a punch to the gut, and he deflated, all of that pride seeping out of him as he slunk down into a hunched position and contemplated whether there was any way to assure he didn't completely fail her. This was supposed to be an important day for her.. and he'd tried his hardest. But. What if his best wasn't good enough? His gloomy insecurity had him completely missing her order, so that when he looked up at her again, the waiter was already gone. He furrowed his brow to focus on what she was asking, but all he could think of when he looked at her face was how it would look when he disappointed her. He could actually see the change in expression; he imagined it, there on her face at that moment. He felt so small. "The island sucks for food." He murmured distractedly, picking up his napkin and folding it until it was a thin line of paper. Then he began pulling tiny pieces of it off, one by one, unknowingly forming a pile of confetti under his hands. "Anyplace is better than eating there."
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Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 12:56 pm
It became glaringly evident to her that she was worse at this than she even expected she would be. Was it to him? This could be a significant problem, she realized, if she was unable to rectify it before it was too late. It would be unforgivable if she ruined this entire undertaking because she failed to thoroughly research every portion. With the waiter's retreat, they were left with relative privacy. Still, the idea of discussing anything past small talk around strangers was more than a little uncomfortable. Mimsy abandoned her place setting and her bag of silly boots to drag her chair around to the other side of the table, glancing at the growing pile of napkin snow as she settled back into her seat. The emotion that led to silently tearing up paper was not a familiar one, whatever it was, so she would just have to try to work backwards to determine how to avoid this result. "I am admittedly not well-versed in social dining, but I think that you chose well, even if your claim that 'anywhere' would have sufficed is true. There is a lot to be learned through experiences of this variety, like...um." She picked at her thumbnail and tried to find a previous analogy that might be relevant here. "Like an adventure? Except together." No, that didn't seem like the correct answer. She dissected his words again and picked at the scraps until she found another avenue to try. "Oh...does the sustenance bother you that severely? Or is it the island itself?" After glancing over her shoulder to ensure that there was nobody behind them, she leaned closer, lowering her voice to a more conspiratorial volume. "If it is that troubling to you, we could just...never return to it. I am not opposed to collaborating a joint disappearance with you, if you are not opposed to my company on a more permanent scale." The ambiguity that plagued many of her attempts at jokes was absent. She sounded serious.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:21 pm
Mimsy had no idea how much good the simple act of moving closer to him did. The effect was immediate, chipping his unfortunate mood away until he felt warm and comforted by the mere presence beside him. He leaned slightly, just enough to touch her with every inch of his arm that could, and smiled that goofy, fawning smile. His arm slid around to rest on the back of her chair, and his entire body gravitated towards her presence. He was just glad the tables weren't circular. His head bent down, until it rested gently against hers, and he just listened to her talk. Her voice lulled him, when she wasn't trying to place any fake inflections within it. The straight, rigid monotones punctuated softly only when she was truly interested in something - and even then, never so much that it disturbed his peace. It was like a lullaby that didn't put him to sleep, it just reminded him that there were still reasons to be happy left in this world. He listened, and paid as much attention as he could, but her proximity was starting to intoxicate him. He started to drift off in appreciation of how the red looked in her hair, or how her eyes widened with conspiratorial intensity when she offered to leave the island with him and - All the rose colored fog cleared when his mind focused sharply on what she was actually saying, and his jaw dropped open in surprise. "What's that now?" He breathed out in a hush, blinking rapidly. "Joint? Disappear? Permanent?" It was the last one, when he finally realized what she was offering him, that turned his shock into heart-clenching adoration. He leaned in, took her face gently in both hands, and held it up to look deep into her eyes. He needed to know who he was talking to, now. He needed to know if she was being serious. And when he thought he knew, his haggard whisper finally came. "You would do that?" He barely managed to get out. "With me? For me?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:16 pm
All of the cues indicative of his change in mood were completely missed as Mimsy remained lost in her thoughts, and she failed to catch on until the blatantly obvious signal of his hands on her face and his eyes staring past the cloud of calculations she'd pushed to the surface. It took an incredible amount of concentration to fight the reflex to look away, as she was sure that it would give the wrong impression. "Well, yes. Of course." Her eyes narrowed as she tried to read his expression. There was a faint familiarity to this, though the circumstances were reversed. It reminded her of the numerous times she'd missed something that was so obvious to him, namely in the context of facts or actions constructed with the same reason: love. She clenched her teeth, muscles of her jaw tightening beneath his hands. "I need you," she elaborated, shifting her weight towards him. Most of her tensed posture began to relax, but her hands lingered above his, as if she were struggling with the decision to touch them or not. Half of her fingers finally curled around one of his hands as she slowly exhaled, unsteady fingertips tapping against the other. This had such an air of seriousness. It unsettled her that she couldn't understand why, even when she included the factors of the punishments clearly defined by the 'rules' of Deus Ex. The primary reason that she agreed to come to the island appeared to be a dead end, and the tools to find the Higgs would be more readily available elsewhere. Maybe he didn't know that. Or was it a misconception of her connections within their organization? Whatever the case, the troubled knot in her stomach only worsened as she continued to think about it. She just couldn't grasp why he was surprised, no matter how hard she tried. The offer remained a simple, decisive option to her, no matter how she viewed it. "I, uh. I need you," she repeated, awkwardly attempting to clear her throat. It didn't work, and her voice came out hoarse, which was even more awkward than her failed throat-clearing. "Specifically. Remember? Therefore, it has to be you." How many times had she mentioned that already? "It is entirely possible that I have not been clear enough. That is an all-encompassing specificity. Tools are replaceable. I have many other opportunities for employment. But...statistically, I would never in my projected lifetime find another..." She clenched her teeth again. That was not an avenue of explanation that she wanted to go down right now. " Anyway. All of that withstanding, you surely understand that your contentment is imperative, correct? And if leaving provides the most favorable results, I would leave at the first possible opportunity." There was one question he'd asked that still bothered her, even at the end of her clarification, tangled up with technicalities. The duality and implications of what she wanted to say made her hesitate, but she couldn't stand the thought of leaving an incorrect assessment untouched. "I would do this for 'us', by definition. There is no singular involvement, hence my use of plural pronouns in my suggestion."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:30 pm
Three little words, said once, then repeated, and not even said for the first time. Words that he realized were hitting him harder than the ones he craved the most, from her. For some reason, the idea of being needed - even though he already knew it to be the truth - made him heady with delight. If he'd thought about it long enough, he would have realized that the reason why her need was so important was that it was the cause for every decision he'd made around her. Her need, her one, sole need, was why he'd given up everything. Hearing her confirm it with such intensity made his entire body fill up with righteous completion. With every confirmation of her need, he fell further, deeper still; until there was no visible way out. He wasn't even looking for it, but he knew there was none. This was his life now. She was his life. Or, better yet, his life was hers. And she was just reminding him, with vivid and painful clarity, of just how important his sacrifice had been. "I know." He murmured, with a quiet intensity against her skin, the second time she'd said it. Despite the meaning behind her words, one of the few things he understood in this world, it still felt so good to hear her say it. Robert wanted to be needed, more than anything. He took it, and let it fulfill him until there wasn't a single question left inside. "I know." And yet, the way she talked about leaving Deus left him so confused. She needed him to be happy with her, but did she really think it was that easy? The idea refused to settle in his mind. "I know you need me to be happy. And yeah, leaving Deus would make me happy. But baby, that's not really the issue." He felt her fingers around his, and he pressed his hand closer to warm her fingertips. "Don't you know leaving Deus is a death sentence? I don't know about you, but I'm not keen on putting your life in danger for a better meal plan." He paused, and breathed out a sharp breath. "Our. Our life." No singular involvement, she'd said. It was time to recognize that, now. For keeps.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:20 pm
This was still severely lacking in the simplicity that Mimsy thought it should have, and she shivered at his first response, still lost in uncertainty. That was not what she'd expected to hear, and it was more disarming than she was prepared for. Now she had no footing for her assumptions and no foundations for her loose hypothesis, and the majority of the options that remained were options that she refused to consider. Not even scientific integrity could change her mind, which might have raised red flags if she were more attentive at the moment. It took a deep breath to properly restart her thought processes, and another before she found the will to squeeze his hand, because it seemed like the correct action to take. " Oh." That was really all it was? The thought of that seemed even less believable than some of the theories she'd quickly discarded. "You have little faith in me." She laughed, and teasingly made a show of scoffing at him. "And in yourself. The stories that they circulate to ensure the stability of our presence tend to have an underlying carelessness. With our attributes combined - averaged, even - we are far from careless, in my opinion." Despite the fact that she was openly speaking about this in an unsecured location, and the fact that her rationale was obliviously moving farther and farther away from reality with each passing day, she spoke the opinions with conviction. "At risk of dampening the mood again, I would be remiss if I did not mention that remaining at Deus is a death sentence. We need no threats to know that. Speaking more poetically, life itself is its own death sentence, isn't it?" Her nose wrinkled. That dove further into philosophical thought than she'd intended, by the fault of the topic at hand. "Er, my point is...the risk of death, by preliminary calculations, is no more significant. I can only speak for myself, but the risk is quite possibly lower in my case. Since my arrival just over one year ago, there have been no less than seven incidents that caused my death. I say that with certainty, regardless of the absence of explanation." Her thin fingers weakly pressed against his hand again, and she was strangely disappointed when it didn't help to comfort her. "You should recall some of them." Regret began to sink in as she realized that she should have avoided that particular subject. It was no easier to process in this context. There was arguably some merit in absolving them of any risk by asserting that they would simply progress to the next nearest resonating string of existence, but the failed attempts to definitively confirm her identity hooked themselves like burrs in her throat, inciting an urgency. "Ultimately, this is not about a better meal plan. This is about a better plan. I just wanted to make it very clear that we are not constrained to any existence that is not the best possible existence. We are capable of achieving much more than that. You need only to inform me of what that existence is, whatever and whenever it may be."
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:30 pm
No matter how hard he looked, or how intensely he tried to discern some kind of truth from those eyes, Mimsy threatened to remain a complete mystery, even on this most treacherous of topics. But she tried, oh, God help him, how he loved to see her try to explain herself away as if everything she said and thought and chose was linear and concrete. He loved being able to see all the faults and cracks in her words, because she let him. She couldn't possibly know it, but she did. He just wasn't smart enough to see into those cracks and faults, to find the truth. Yet. "You're not dampening anything. You're right." He had to hand it to her, it all sounded too obvious on paper. "Working with Deus means we're not gonna make it as long as we would if we were out there in the real world doing normal jobs. And maybe we do - sort of - die, sometimes. But look at you, Mimsy. This is what matters. You're alive right now, every part of you." He took his hands off of her face, and pressed them firmly against her chest - because he was stubborn enough to make his point, even now. "Every part of you. And I would like to enjoy as much time with you, alive as I possibly can. If it's a choice between living free with you for one day out there, or living in captivity with you in Deus for five, ten years - I choose that second one there." His face grinned weakly. "And hey. We're in Life. At least that means our life expectancy is higher than, like, Sun, or whatever. Right?" Mimsy did not want to believe that they were constrained to this existence, but Robert was a very firm, very adamant believer in that fact. Deus was home, now. Home, prison, haven, and tomb. No amount of desire or hope would ever change that fact for him. That was saying a lot, coming from Robert. He had an unnatural and superhuman amount of hope ready to be used at a moment's notice, but not even that was enough to make him believe they would last a day AWOL from Deus. "So let me offer you this instead, baby." His hands returned to her face, but before they could hold it, he pulled away and brushes his fingers gently against her hair. "If you want me to be as happy as I can be, it don't matter where we are. You are the only factor in that equation." He grinned - he couldn't help it, every time he tried to talk like her it made him feel giddy and proud. "If you're mine, only mine, then - " He swallowed hard, because he realized it almost frightened him to admit it. "My heart is full."
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