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 Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:22 am
"Well it's not like I'm surrounded by people just begging to hang out with me. If you didn't see at that party, everyone really didn't want me there. It was just you and Rin. Now Rin." As pathetic as that was to admit. He could talk to everyone he wanted, but very few wanted to be around him. "At least people aren't jumping out of windows to escape talking to you." That had really hurt.
And it happened twice.
Thanks for reminding me. I don't feel like s**t enough because of that.
"Sorry. I probably won't be trusting people much either, not that I was good at it anyways." Rep would probably laugh to hear that he had tried previously. No one felt he actually gave any effort in that department.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:39 am
"Everyone is just ******** clamouring to have me around too. But like I'm going to give them what they want and just get out of their ******** face and die in a hole. I just get up every ******** morning. And I go out and I do. This."
He gestured at the mess in the kitchen. "I give everything a damn good shot and hope one ******** day. It'll work out."
"It never does, but stopping is worse than anything else."
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:48 am
"Everyone seems to be on your side. If anyone speaks bad of you, there is a billion people on twitter jumping at your defense. People love you." At least that was the impression Melvin always got, and something he had been envious about since he was a rookie.
Melvin looked back at the kitchen and at the potatoes he was supposed to peel. "You just need to follow directions instead of throwing stuff together and hoping it works." Then he shrugged. "But I'm not a expert. I'm just as bad." He had to stop kidding himself that he wasn't just as messed up as everyone else. It wasn't like people weren't noticing it nowadays.Then again, he at least didn't walk backwards. So he was at least not MORE ******** up than others.
...
"Don't die though. I hear too many people saying that." Rin for one.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:57 am
Rep gave Melvin a look as if he was mad. "People don't love me. People tolerate my existence. Some of the time. If I vanished tomorrow, only really my guys would mourn it. Other people would be like oh that's a shame but its probably for the best. He was trouble."
He eyed the kitchen dismally. "It looks so easy on the telly. Like magic." Everything looked easy when you watched other people do it.
"I just wanted to make a cake. To be like. This is a thing. And I made it. I didn't break it or ******** it up." He eyed the wreckage of the door and that helpless feeling peaked again, panic crested like a wave. "I should clean this up."
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:11 am
A pang of guilt stabbed at him. He knew that in some way that he had been part of that collective. He had told Rep that he was dangerous that denying it or pretending he didn't would just be insulting to Rep's memory and intelligence. Therefor, he said nothing. Right now, after everything he said, it seemed for the best. People kept saying he hurt them whenever he opened his mouth. It was best if he barely said anything at all if he had any hope of keeping people near him.
"Rin would be." He told him, not looking at his as he looked away. It hurt him to say that. Rin loved Rep. There was a lot Rep provided and continued to provide her that he couldn't ever give. It made him feel bitter inside.
"I'm just guessing here...that you don't cook much." He wasn't saying, or asking. He'd just...openly make an assumption. "You can't throw things together. The cake box has the instructions on the back. Baking is more about precise measurements." He wondered if Rep ever grew up with someone letting him help make cookies, rice krispy treats, or to decorate cupcakes. He didn't ask though. He...didn't feel like asking nowadays made him get anyone. It wasn't comforting. he wanted to ask. Badly.
"We'll get in trouble if we don't finish our duty. Bake your cake. I'll finish these up." He glanced at the potatoes. It was something they could do with little talking. No trouble. If they could at least tolerate each other's company, then their lives would be easier.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:38 pm
"Rin doesn't need me any longer. She's got you and you can give her a lot of s**t that I can't. She'll get ******** over it eventually."
He eyed the box with its instructions and measurements. He didn't know what a teaspoon was. A spoon was a spoon. "I don't cook ******** ever." he said with just an edge of despair.
He had wanted to make a cake, he really didn't any longer, whatever confidence he'd had at the outset had long deserted him. "I think its better I don't touch anything."
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:44 pm
"Tell her that. There is a lot I can never give her that only you could." She had mentioned it before. Things that, due to the way Melvin was, he could never provide. Things she wished Melvin could give her but he couldn't.
Sighing, he glanced at the red-head and then headed over to the cabinet to pick up a bowl. "If you don't cook something, you'll get in trouble. If you get in trouble, your guys will get upset with you. You said you wanted to lay low and not do that, then do that." He set the bowl down and turned the cake box over before walking over and offering it to him.
"Just read and I'll hand you what you need. For once, you can ask me questions. I think you haven't cashed in nearly enough of those than I have." He held out the box to him. "It's not like you to turn away cake anyways." That way he could hopefully keep anyone from finding out he locked Rep in a pantry and busted a door.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:59 pm
"I don't need to tell her that. She knows it, maybe not consciously but she does."
Rep had already handed Melvin so many of his vulnerabilities and none of it had ended well, before he might have been fine to co-operate on the task, might have been happy to try and mend things. But now wasn't then. For a few long moments he eyed the box before realising the text was too ******** small.
"No." he said slowly. "I've already ******** up enough today, cooking s**t won't mitigate that." If he was going to get in trouble for breaking a door, he might as well eat the trouble for not knowing how to cook either.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:05 pm
He held the box, and suddenly felt stupid even attempting to help. Things couldn't be easily mended, could it? Now with just a talk. Rep was already done with all of this, and attempting anything was just pointless.
"Fine!" He said with more venom than he intended. "I'll just clean up and make the damn thing myself." He didn't even like cake. He didn't even bake.
He turned, heading back and slamming the box on the counter before going to get a broom to clean up the flour and broken splinters on the ground.
Rin wanted them to be like before, but things couldn't go back.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:18 pm
Rep flinched again when Melvin snapped at him, feeling like he'd warranted it. The life hunter had been willing to help him, but there'd been too much on the line, it meant trusting him with what he wasn't good at and having faith in him to not get impatient or rude with him when he didn't understand s**t. He didn't have faith in that.
"I don't have my ******** glasses with me anyway." he said in another attempt to salvage his dignity, moving out of the way of the mess. He wanted to leave but he didn't dare, just hovering awkwardly to watch instead.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:26 pm
Melvin went from near the table and started to sweep, kicking up more dirt than actually cleaning. He just wanted to focus on cleaning and let his brain settle and everything that was twisting inside him to settle down.
"That didn't stop you before." He told him, knowing that it wasn't much of a rebuttle. "I can still read." Melvin always had his glasses on him even though he was nearsighted and could still read.
"You said you don't want to do it. I get it. Fine. You don't have to give me an excuse." Rep didn't want to be here, and had already decided what he did and didn't want to do. Now it was just awkward again, and Melvin wanted to scrap together a little bit of dignity from being even bothering to help a guy who had just been nothing but a d**k so far. In fact, he wondered why he ever wanted to be Rep's friend in the first place. Good riddance!
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:46 pm
"I could read the ******** teaspoon bit because the font is bigger." he snapped irritably, but some b*****d out to make his life hell had written the rest in small eye straining text. "And I know you can read. You aren't me."
"And I'm giving you an excuse because I feel like a p***k rejecting when you offered to ******** help me. I'm just no in the same mood to cook I was earlier when it looked easy." he shrugged. "But if you don't want to hear justifications then fine, I won't give you any."
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:50 pm
"Well why don't you just SAY why then making an excuse and coming off as a d**k when I was trying to help and you just shoved it back in my face. You know how hard it is to do that? I don't even like cake!" He said, glaring at him as he gripped the broom.
Why was it always Rep that pissed him off to the point of screaming?! He usually could keep it together with everyone else. Hell, he could be cocky cool and collective with everyone else. Well, aside from Rin. She pissed him off a lot too.
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:46 pm
"Because I don't do the whole, normal civil conversation thing very well in case you like, didn't notice that fact." He crossed his arms.
"And how can you no ******** like cake? Cake and sugary s**t is like the best. Give me a ******** chicken vindaloo and a big ******** birthday cake to eat after and I'll be happy as can ******** be."
He sighed. "I doubt they have ******** indian food on the island though."
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Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 3:13 pm
"Every time someone makes cake, it's too sweet. The only time I ever bothered with cake was during my birthday, and even then I really didn't want it. I just knew everyone else did." It was tradition to have cake, even if he barely ate any of it and only had a small piece to make whoever made it happy.
"They don't even have food here." He told him, and went back to sweeping everything into a pile. "So?" He said, glancing at the now smushed box on the table.
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