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Muscles and Bustles: The Dinkiest Update

I've been entertaining out of town company for most of the week. I made some progress, but not enough for a full update. I'm going to post it anyway since it is done with. The following is from Tuesday night.

Chapter 6: Starts out with Freddy/Pickles C
Yes, the conflict between Ylisse and Plegia. Farmers that can barely wield a pitchfork were conscripted, eh? Where have I heard that one before? I know that Chrommy doesn’t get his sister 100%. I feel the line “the day that he understands peace will be the day death gives it to him… so perhaps I must be death’s agent.” Is a pretty telling one for Chrom, I think.

Anger issues? What? No. I just break stuff when I train, that’s all. Isn’t that normal?

Well hello, Martha! You are looking very free-to-use today! Must be the lack of mask.

Frederick, Pickles, and Chrom go left, Sully and Vaike pair up and go right, along with Ricken, who kills exactly two foes and gets exactly one level. By the time Panne comes in, everyone has started to make their way so she helps clear out the middle. Martha does what she can until she gets offed, which means more expies for Panne. Validar decides to make Sully and Vaike’s lives a little easier. Gaius is killed for sweet, sweet expies. It’s just a secret book in that chest anyway. I can live without it.
It was always one guy. One guy that didn’t want to die. But it was always a different one guy, and it usually wasn’t Validar, so I knew I could do the 3 turns. I did this chapter so many times it turned into a science.

Still am pleased looking at Martha through second-playthrough-vision. She may not be my favorite, but her pauses, her theme and how it affects the dialogue, her habits, I feel like they are very telling of her mindset. The game allows her scenes to actually breathe. They let her actions speak for themselves. I read in some interviews that she was actually one of the earliest ideas in Awakening’s development, and when they thought of her everything fell into place.

Turns: 3
Total Turncount: 23

Paralogue 2: New supports include Chrom/Pickles A (WE’VE SEEN EACHOTHER NEKKID WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE HERP DERP) and Vaike/Sully B (these are actually a pleasant surprise).
Now that I have all the characters I’m gonna get for a while, I head off to paralogue 2 to buff ‘em up a bit. Panne needs to get plenty of taguel levels while she still can. She teams up with Frederick. Everyone else gets in levels and grows bonds. I get a physic staff that I can’t use yet. I also find a Katarina’s Bolt.


From Awakening’s “homage to the entire series” nature, I feel as though Panne was meant to echo Laguz. Obvious, I know, but since there is only one of her, I feel like they stuck a lot of the emotions that were shown in PoR’s colorful cast into her. I used Panne, but she wasn’t really one of my MVPs so much as she really helped mister Stahl out in my first playthrough. I see a lot of Lethe in her, but then again, Lethe was probably the most blatant of the Laguz characters in their race and history related feelings (not that that’s a bad thing). But she’s not just a carbon copy. She feels more down to earth to me, maybe due to her appearance (earthy rabbity brown) and her nice deep voice. I also like that she doesn't so readily hold the crimes against the Taguel to just anyone, as long as they do not show guilt. I haven’t seen too many of her supports, but there are aspects of other characters in there. I’d like to see her come into her own more. Maybe I will. After all, how many killer rabbits do you see outside of Monty Python? Panne will be an ace, you just wait and see. For the warren.

There are only 2 goals for this playthrough. 1) Chrom must not marry Maiden. The only marriage candidate I have for him is Olivia (or MU, but MU is male this run), meaning that Lucina and Inigo are going to be siblings. 2) All kids must marry. Considering the kids are Morgan, Lucina, Inigo, Owain and Noire, MU must marry one of them as there are an odd number of them. As he is male, he must choose between Lucina and Noire. However, because of this royal trinity (Owain, Lucina, Inigo, and a Morgan sitting in MU's loins), one pair of children will have to go with the companionship route.

And so it begins.

Part 4: Hallelujah It’s Raining MRN

Chapter 8:
Our heroes venture into Pledge for the first time! The unforgiving desert heat reminds Midas of a certain faraway land, where burning winds punished the lands during the day and frigid gales pierced homes at night. But then he realized he had been playing too much Wind Waker (speaking of which, he should probably return that game to the rental store. He’s kinda been holding onto it way past the due date). He does raise an interesting question to Chromnomnom, which went something like this…

Midas: Hey, Chromnomnom. Where were the guards at Ylisstol? You know, the ones that would have stopped the assassination a couple of chapters ago and would have prevented your sister from being captured?

To which the blue-haired lord was unable to reply. Guards in a royal castle? What insolence! The castle is perfectly impenetrable… until Chromnomnom remembered that he did in fact break the castle gates during one of his spars with the Vaikenator. That and there was something about a paid holiday for the guards for dealing with Lissa’s shenanigans, which would probably explain how easily the Pledgians could just waltz in, attempt an assassination, and later run off with the Holy Woman.

Midas also wonders how the hell Freddy Kruger is okay wearing all that armor out in the desert when he’s melting in his robes. It turns out that Freddy invested in Under Armour and it comes in with a cooling fan. He also reports that hey, some ginger geezer and a scantily-clad loli are being chased around by the cleaners. Well, the group kind of need that ginger since he happens to be our next draft pick! So our heroes rush off to be… well, heroes!

But first, supports! Midas peeps on Gaius in the bath and ends up blackmailing the thief because he ended up getting poison oak on his naughty bits. That’s gonna be awkward (with a slight burn) for when he gets busy with Tharja a couple of chapters later. The Candy Man tries to offer his portion of dinner (bear for dinner. Yum), but Midas can only handle so much bear in one sitting. Meanwhile, Lissa and Donnel are in charge of getting said dinner and they find rabbits and a boar. Oh, and bears too, because dinner with Chrom’s harem isn’t a dinner without bears. Donny also talks about this special rock he got from his dad and plans on unlocking the secrets behind it. It’s totally a Dragon Ball that’s already been used that year. Now he needs six more just like them!

Time spent: 10 turns
Midas: Level 18 -gains MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF-
Chrom: Level 15 -gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD, LCK-
Lissa: Level 16 -gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF, RES-
Donnel: Level 13 -gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF- B rank lances
Gaius: Level 14 –gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, gains HP, STR, SKILL-
Gregor: Level 12 – gains HP, STR, SKILL, LCK, DEF; gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD-

Items found: N/A

Everyone managed to gain a level this time around. Gregor and Nowi immediately headed for the SW village. Since Nowi was free, I had her pair up with Gregor to give him some additional STR, DEF, and RES to tank better. Lissa and Chrom went together, Gaius and Midas went together and Donnel went alone. As Lissa was my only magic-class ally I had, she was the one moving around, stopping only to let Chrom kill stuff. At one point Gregor was in such bad shape I had him camp on the village for the additional AVOID and hold out with a healing item until Lissa got close enough to heal with Physics because her weapon level was high enough. I did manage to get to all the villages, and once the party met up with Gregor, Nowi was dropped and some people got shuffled around for supports. Gregor got a hit in and Chrom finished up the boss. Gaius was MVP for critting every time.

After the battle, our heroes hire Master Russia and Scanty Loli. Scanty Loli happened to be a dragon the Pledgians were after for cultish rituals that dare not be mentioned. This may be a somewhat adult retelling of the draft but explaining what would go down if they got her would get rather kinky and awkward considering her appearance.

Chapter 9:
There is a scene where Bitchtits the Tactician pimpslaps one of the Pledgian captains into oblivion because he had only one job and ******** it all up. How a Dark Peggy can use a sword will forever escape me. FE ROX’s spies also speak of events that will happen the next day (once more bringing up Midas’s previous question of WHERE THE HELL WERE YLISSE’S NPCS?!). There’s another scene with Darth Vador and the shadowy figure as they discuss the next day over a cup of bear tea. Midas gets a nightmare about Risen riding pink elephants this time and once more it’s Lissa that wakes him up. Storming the Pledgian Castle Courtyard, home of the Snazzy King GangamStyle, our heroes come in just in time to stop the public execution (to forever shame the Holy Maiden with that promised spanking).

No time for games! Just get in there and save your sister, Chromnomnom!

With the public humilator AXE’D before he could complete his one job (man, a lot of these Pledgians are not able to do their job. And why axe? Why not… I dunno, arrows? I think those would be more accurate and less likely to hit MRN), our heroes fight!

But uh… first, supports! And… it’s only between Gregor and Nowi due to the events from the last chapter. Considering I see nothing about supports and Nowi was free last chapter, support away! Gregor gets a dragon scale sweater. I wonder how much that would improve his stats if we used D&D standards?

Time Spent: 10 turns
Midas: Level 19 -gains HP, STR, MAG, SPD, LCK -
Chrom: Level 16 -gains HP, STR, SKILL, LCK, DEF-
Lissa: Level 17 -gains HP, MAG, SPD, LCK, DEF-
Donnel: Level 14 -gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF, RES -
Gaius: Level 14 -no level gained- B rank swords
Gregor: Level 12 – no levels gained -
Tharja: Level 11 – gains HP, STR, SPD-

Items found: Finn’s Lance
Recruit Libra, recruit Tharja. Have Tharja and Gaius pair up and kill the boss. Midas and Donnel team up. Gregor and Lissa team up for healing and movement. End of tactics.

STOP THE PUNISHMENT GAME! But the Snazzy King GangamStyle won’t let up! And unfortunately, the reinforcements in the name of Pegasi to save MRN ends in vain as Risen spawn out of nowhere and massacre the three whole Ylisse NPCs we had. Whoops, so much for that. And now decision time! Let MRN be punished with the spanking, or give up the Emblem so that Pledge can finally become Pledge®? Obviously give up the Emblem so that the sister can be saved! I mean, it’s just a rusty old shield that no one remembers how to use. We could always kill Snazzy King GangamStyle and take it back later. But regardless of what we choose, MRN still punishes herself. And uh… yeah. Title should be pretty self-explanatory.

Man, does Chrom run slow, despite all that SPD he has.

Marth, where the ******** were you during all this? You show up at the end knowing full well how everything was gonna turn out and you did NOTHING. You had ONE JOB. Gods, it’s like everyone’s failing to do the one job they have to do!

In the world of supports, Gaius offers to take Chrom out one night to get his mind off his now-dead sister (and maybe get him laid. THAT’LL silence Chrom’s harem). And somehow Gaius and Tharja are able to support despite being together a whole, what, one turn to fight the boss? And man is she ever creepy, wanting Candy Man to steal hair from Midas. All because he follows the easy steps of lather, rinse, repeat when he washes those white locks of his. Be jealous of his hair, ladies. It’s so silky smooth.

Paralogue 3:
Our heroes return to FE ROX again to cool off from the desert heat and the end of MRN’s social life with her own public humiliation. However, it seems like there are villagers that don’t know how to stay in villages when faced with a bear Risen attack! Can our heroes save those villagers and gain some delicious EXP?

Turns spent: 6 turns
Midas: Level 20 -gains MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF- -> Promote!
Chrom: Level 17 –gains HP, STR, SPD, LCK, DEF-
Lissa: Level 18 –gains MAG, SPD,LCK, RES-
Donnel: Level 14 –no levels gains-
Gaius: Level 14 –no levels gains-
Gregor: Level 13 –gains HP, STR, SPD, LCK-
Tharja: Level 12 –gains HP, STR, MAG, RES-
Items found: N/A

Those goddamn villagers. I had a much better run the first time (especially with levels and items (Seriously, Superior Axe and Aversa’s Night, gone)) but the battery died. I stuck it in the charger to clear this map, and after a voluntary reset (Tharja got herself killed because she wasn’t dodging or being saved by Gaius like the first time), all the villagers were saved (get Seraph Robe, Log, Ladle). I could have just made due with the Robe. We also went to the village and Midas even promoted!

Total turn count: 97 turns

Another update. Gonna try and provide more information, but it's still brief for the time being: my apologies. I DO intend to go back and fix these up to look nice and provide Miranda commentary and Devil Wears Prada shenanigans.

Chapter 15: Smoldering Resistance
Turns taken: 2
Turns total: 47
Heroes: Miriel and Kellam

Oh, the things you can do when you have multiple staff users and multiple mounts. Especially multiple mounts that give movement bonuses when paired up. Oh! And Olivia. Definitely can't forget her, but everyone has her. Cordelia and Lon'qu took the beach baddies. Libra rescued Sayri so she could be recruited the first turn, allowing the enemies to approach MY units instead of her. Anna kicked a ton of a** (but also severely used up her Levin Sword), unlocking Lucky 7 and transporting people to the action. Of said action, basically, Miriel and Kellam took the top half going left to right, and Miranda and Chrom took the bottom half from right to left. Lucina killed a couple of enemies and served as a wall to prevent anyone from having Olivia in their range. None of the houses were visited, but uh, TWO TURNS. Worth it.

Paralogue 14: Shadow in the Sands
Turns taken: 14, 0 count
Turns total: 47
Heroes: Cordelia and Kellam

I was hoping to go straight to Chapter 16 after 15, but doing it as fast as possible required Galeforce. Cordelia was at level 7 or 8 at this point I think. Miranda was at level 11 or 12, herself. So I figured I'd take some Paralogues to hopefully get Miranda to 15 to get Rally Spectrum so I could get Morgan to be a Rally Spectrum bot and justify going to another Paralogue after this to level Cordelia further. Worked like a charm. Visited all the villages as fast as I could and had Miranda take out some but focused on getting Cordelia the levels mostly. Miranda hit 15 as a Grandmaster, ensuring I go to another Paralogue afterwards. Chrom hit 10 as a Cavalier finally and was promoted to Great Knight. Cordelia got to level 11 or 12, I think. And Olivia was spammed as much as possible since while she's essential to cutting turns and such, most chapters go by so fast she dances once or twice and it's all over. She dances for Libra whenever she can, since he's the least desired bachelor. I doubt they'll get enough supports to unlock Inigo, though. Libra unlocked Rally Luck, which is pretty underwhelming, but for plenty of chapters, piling on the Rally skills is useful, so I won't say no to it. With that in mind, I also insta-promoted Laurent the first turn as soon as I recruited him to a Sage. Hopefully, he'll eventually hit level 5 to be used for Rally Magic, but he also provides better magic bonuses than his mother or Libra to Anna (my furthest reaching Rescue user) just because Sage's give more than Dark Knights or Battle Monks. Never hurts to have a spare attacker if something is out of the way or requires extra chip damage, either.

Paralogue 12: Disowned by Time
Turns taken: 13, 0 count
Turns total: 47
Heroes: Miranda and Cordelia

Morgan is recruited the first turn, along with Rally Spectrum, which is ******** AWESOME and will be super useful for the remainder of th draft. Cordelia is fed nearly everything and by the end of the chapter gets Galeforce, which is all that matters. All treasure was obtained (love you, Anna). Olivia continues to be needlessly spammed. As second seals aren't purchasable until the next chapter, the one in this chapter goes to Miranda so the queen bee can fly around herself, and work towards getting Galeforce. She also gets Naga's Tear.

Chapter 16: Naga's Voice
Turns taken: 1
Turns total: 48
Heroes: Miranda and Cordelia

In spite of only taking one turn for this, I still managed to kill two thieves holding a Bullion (M) and Speedwing respectively, a Sniper dropping a Master Seal, a Warrior dropping a Steel Bow, and of course, Cervantes, who drops another Bullion (M). Cervantes was a completely clean ORKO(and with my weakest weapon equipped, too!), which suprised me since few bosses have been lately (they usually require Ignis or a Double Attack or a crit to proc: which cumulatively is very likely, but still not guaranteed). Gotta love that Rally Spectrum, like I said.

And 48 turns in 16 chapters means an average of 3 turns per chapter up to this point. The average is probably going to drop from here, though. Posting stats, since it's been a good number of chapters since I did so!

Chrom: level 1 Great Knight
HP: 43, Str: 21, Mag: 3, Skl: 24, Spd: 20, Luck: 16, Def: 27, Res: 7

Miranda: level 1 Dark Flier
HP: 54, Str: 24, Mag: 28, Skl: 30, Spd: 38, Luck: 19, Def: 22, Res: 21

Cordelia: level 15 Dark Flier (will likely be reclassed to FalcoKnight)
HP: 54, Str: 21, Mag: 12, Skl: 30, Spd: 29+2, Luck: 19, Def: 18, Res: 20

Miriel: level 5 Dark Knight
HP: 42, Str: 7, Mag: 20+2, Skl: 22, Spd: 19, Luck: 12, Def: 14, Res: 13

Kellam: level 2 Great Knight
HP: 36, Str: 18, Mag: 2, Skl: 13, Spd: 12, Luck: 7, Def: 21+2, Res: 4

Lon'qu: level 4 Wyvern Rider (would love to give him more exp, but he's not THAT high a priority)
HP: 33, Str: 13+2, Mag: 3, Skl: 18, Spd: 18, Luck: 13, Def: 14, Res: 3

Libra: level 5 War Monk
HP: 42, Str: 16, Mag: 19, Skl: 12, Spd: 14, Luck: 11, Def: 13, Res: 17

Anna: level 8 Trickster
HP: 42, Str: 16, Mag: 23, Skl: 26, Spd: 26, Def: 9, Res: 11

Olivia: level 6 Dancer
HP: 23, Str: 4, Mag: 2, Skl: 11, Spd: 12, Luck 9+4, Def: 5, Res: 3

Lucina: level 14 Lord
HP: 35, Str: 15, Mag: 8, Skl: 22, Spd: 22, Luck: 16, Def: 15, Res: 10

Laurent: level 1 Sage
HP: 32, Str: 5, Mag: 16+2, Skl: 15, Spd: 15, Luck: 11, Def: 9, Res: 11

Morgan: level 10 Tactician
HP: 34, Str: 15, Mag: 15, Skl: 20, Skl: 20, Luck: 13, Def: 15, Res: 11

There are only 2 goals for this playthrough. 1) Chrom must not marry Maiden. The only marriage candidate I have for him is Olivia (or MU, but MU is male this run), meaning that Lucina and Inigo are going to be siblings. 2) All kids must marry. Considering the kids are Morgan, Lucina, Inigo, Owain and Noire, MU must marry one of them as there are an odd number of them. As he is male, he must choose between Lucina and Noire. However, because of this royal trinity (Owain, Lucina, Inigo, and a Morgan sitting in MU's loins), one pair of children will have to go with the companionship route.

And so it begins.

Part 5: The Circle of Life

Chapter 10:
MRN, after having her display recorded and shown on international television, permanently retires to some island to the Southwest and is never heard from again. Basically a "Dead End" for her. Meanwhile, our heroes are running through the rain (Midas: Holy crap, there's RAIN in this game?! Ignore the fact that we're in a desert right now. There. Is. Rain. Mind blown, man. I didn't think we'd have actual weather here) to catch their rides out of here since there's no point sticking around anymore. Chromnomnom is still numbed from what his sister did. However, before they can get in their vehicles, the bears cleaners return to block their path. But... no one wants to be here... Not even the Lion King, Mufasa.

Turns spent: 9 turns
Midas: Level 20/1 -no levels gained-
Chrom: Level 18 -gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF- A rank swords
Lissa: Level 19 -gains HP, LCK-
Donnel: Level 15 -gains HP, STR, LCK- -> Class Change to Merc!
Gaius: Level 15 -gains HP, STR, MAG, DEF-
Gregor: Level 15 -gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF, RES; gains HP, SKILL, LCK- B rank swords
Tharja: Level 15 -gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD; gains HP, STR, MAG, SPD; gains HP, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK-

Items found: Roy's Blade

Chromnomnom is the Scar to the boss Mufasa. No mercy at all as he is critically smashed and trampled under the rain, with Sarabi and Simba as targets to Snazzy King GangamStyle's wrath should he not fight. No mercy to his soldiers either as they are gobbled up for experience, even as they throw down their weapons and surrender. MVP go to Chromnomnom for critting in every single fight he was in this chapter (even the game agrees). A fitting anger to the one who dared to say his sister's name.

And to make it all better, Chromnomnom's future wife appears and escorts them all out of there. I do believe she even makes his night to cheer him up, if you know what I mean. Our heroes escape back to FE ROX, where everyone is finally given a chance to cry about what happened. Chromnomnom doesn't feel like he's worthy of his sister's ideals, so it's Midas and the others who help him back to his feet and overcome his sense of worthlessness. They will finally march and take the throne from Snazzy King GangamStyle...

Next time.

Total turn count: 106 turns

There are only 2 goals for this playthrough. 1) Chrom must not marry Maiden. The only marriage candidate I have for him is Olivia (or MU, but MU is male this run), meaning that Lucina and Inigo are going to be siblings. 2) All kids must marry. Considering the kids are Morgan, Lucina, Inigo, Owain and Noire, MU must marry one of them as there are an odd number of them. As he is male, he must choose between Lucina and Noire. However, because of this royal trinity (Owain, Lucina, Inigo, and a Morgan sitting in MU's loins), one pair of children will have to go with the companionship route.

And so it begins.

Part 6: Battle for Ghengis Khan

Chapter 11:
But first, supports! Donnel and Midas share a support about cooking, and we see that Midas is definitely not fit to be an iron chef (he only poisoned himself twice! And he's proud of it since that's fewer times than what Sully's done to everyone!)... and neither is Donny as they both burn the fish and bear stew! Meanwhile, Lissa runs into a millipede and shrieks, causing Gregor to choke on the bear tea he got from Maribelle. After the insect is dealt with, we see a glaring contradiction in her list of fears (ie, afraid of frogs, yet is perfectly okay with hording a bunch to dump down people's clothes or offering to people) and somehow she's scared of lemons and certain kinds of sausage. I'm... curious to know the stories behind that, to be honest. In other news, Tharja tried cursing Gaius but it only made him better in bed. TOO SOON, PEOPLE!

Buy an Iron Sword for Gaius and a Bronze Axe for Lissa.

Our heroes march gallantly back into Pledge to take down the Snazzy King GangamStyle, but he doesn't even bat an eye. He's made millions from his titular song GangamStyle, and he can break their ranks as easily as he breaks wind! But things don't go his way since no one in his army wants to get in the way of this oncoming trainwreck that are our heroes! News of the desertion (and of a strange new group of fetishists that seem to take after MRN in publicly humiliating themselves) reach the ears of our heroes to which Chromnomnom makes an interesting comment ("I hope she can see this, wherever she is..."). Take that however you wish.

Before the fight, Snazzy King GangamStyle and Chromnomnom share a few words about the world of showbiz, and le gasp! Chromnomnom is just like Snazzy King GangamStyle in terms of being flashy and destroying everything in his path! To arms! End the reign of the Snazzy King and return the music back to the masses!

Turns spent: 9 turns
Midas: Level 20/2 -gains HP, SKILL, SPD, DEF-
Chrom: Level 20 -gains HP, STR, LCK, DEF; gains STR, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF- -> Promoted!
Lissa: Level 20 -gains HP, STR, MAG, SKILL- -> Promoted to War Cleric!
Donnel: Level 15/5 -gains HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF; gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF, RES; gains HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, LCK; gains PERFECT LEVEL UP-
Gaius: Level 16 -gains STR, SKILL, LCK-
Gregor: Level 18 -gains HP, STR, LCK, DEF; gains HP, STR, SKILL, SPD; gains HP, SKILL, SPD-
Tharja: Level 17 -gains HP, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK; gains HP, MAG, SPD- C rank tomes
Olivia: Level 2 -gains STR, SPD, LCK-

Items found: N/A

Both chests opened (thanks to the enemy thief opening the left chest so that I could keep Gaius on the right). The game calls Tharja and Gaius the heroes, but the real heroes are the ones who kept their lives. And holy crap, there's an actual Ylissean NPC. WHERE THE ******** WERE YOU AT YLISSTOL?! Uh... Gaius/Tharja and Gregor worked to killed Snazzy King GangamStyle for the exp, the siblings promoted, and we got Chrom's woman Olivia. Whether they get married or not remains to be seen. Apparently Flavor plans on using Pledge's treasury to build more Ghengis Khan restaurants all over the continent.

AND SO OUR HEROES RETURN TO THE MOTHERLAND AND CHROMNOMNOM GETS MARRIED. -suspense-

2 years later...

AND CHROMNOMNOM DOES IN FACT GET MARRIED TO PINK, FE ROX'S PRIZED LAPDANCER! BEGIN THE TALE OF THE WINCEST HERO!

Things get a little iffy in the future when the fire nation attacked as Alm launches an invasion on the continent. Chromnomnom goes on a trip with his waifu (so she can 'dance' for their hosts) and the rest of his army so they can discuss tactics while eating at one of the many Ghengis Khan restaurants (it seems that a rival, Kublhi Khan, is trying to follow the trend). But first, we see Chromnomnom's new baby with a weird eye (don't do drugs while having sex, people. Defects like that can happen because of it). Midas, stop watching her. Anyway, they give their daughter Canilu to a wet-nurse (Rebecca, what are you doing here?!) before going out.

Cue flashback of Chromnomnom wooing Pink. It's a shotgun wedding. Pink actually got pregnant with Chromnomnom's child after she cheered him up that first night. Fancy that.

In FE ROX's royal Ghengis Khan restaurant, it turns out that the archest of archers is really a noble and he brings a woman with him to explain the situation about the invasion. It turns out Alm's already on their way on the coast of FE ROX, ignoring the ice like nobody's business, in order to take the Ghengis Khan restaurants for themselves.

Whelp, this is turning into a battle for the best food in the world. But before our heroes can stop the hungry hungry Almese, they go level up Pink.


Paralogue 4:
There seems to be word of a new bandit camp in FE ROX, so our heroes go check it out. They arrive just in time to catch the Drag Queen bandits attempting to capture and sell off the wench that sent back the first half of the Drag Queen bandits. But wait, this isn't the same God!!! Go save her, heroes!

But first, supports. Chrom gets mad at Lissa for going off on her own to spy on the enemy (disguising herself as a maid to get close to Snazzy King GangamStyle? Brilliant!) and gives her homework: permanent cooking duty. Meanwhile, Gaius and Tharja get caught up in another curse and Gaius hits on her for a bit. She's only got eyes for Midas though, so it doesn't work out. But it'll work out next time.

Fed Pink a Seraph's Robe to give her some more HP.

Turns spent: 12 turns
Midas: Level 20/2 -no levels gained-
Chrom: Level 20/1 -no levels gained-
Lissa: Level 20/2 -gains HP, MAG, SPD, LCK, DEF-
Donnel: Level 15/5 -no levels gained-
Gaius: Level 17 -gains HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, DEF-
Gregor: Level 18 -no levels gained-
Tharja: Level 18 -gains HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF-
Olivia: Level 6 -gains HP, SKILL; gains HP, SKILL, LCK; gains SPD, DEF; gains HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, RES-

Items found: N/A

Vinny: I... I see your face, Victoria... No... No, wait... That's me...
Effectively sums up the Drag Queen bandits. I spent most of this feeding Olivia, and uh... I remember why I don't like keeping her as a Dancer in this point in the game. Poor growths. All chests were opened and Olivia killed the boss (with Chrom support and a bit of help from Gregor to weaken him). Gaius got all the chests with effective use of the Rescue staff to move him quickly from the leftmost chest to open the middle door by the trees, then opened the door to the two chests. Once both were grabbed and he got dance help, he was rescued close to the chest on the top left side. I left the archer by the middle right door alone so that he would be the last one left.


Chapter 12:
Our heroes head to the frozen FE ROX beach to meet the hungry Almese! And uh... surprisingly no commentary in the beginning. Sweet.

But first, supports! Gregor takes Lissa to a cave for kinky underaged sex I mean WHAT to help her get over her fears of big scary ghosts. But they actually never make it to the cave because they have to be sneaky. Gregor and Lissa are... how you say... not sneaky. Oh no. Indeed they aren't.

Turns spent: 8 turns
Midas: Level 20/2 -no level gained-
Chrom: Level 20/2 -gain STR, LCK, DEF-
Lissa: Level 20/2 -no level gained- A rank staff
Donnel: Level 15/10 -gain HP, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK; gain HP, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF; gain HP, STR, SKILL, LCK, DEF; gain 2 HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, LCK; gain HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, RES- D rank swords
Gaius: Level 20 -gain SPD, DEF; gain HP, SKILL, DEF; gain STR, SKILL, SPD- A rank swords
Gregor: Level 20 -gain HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK; gain HP, STR, SKILL-
Tharja: Level 20/2 -gain HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, DEF; gain HP, STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, LCK, DEF; gain HP, STR, SKILL, SPD, LCK- -> Promoted to Dark Knight! B rank tomes
Olivia: Level 8 -gain STR, MAG, SKILL, SPD, RES; gain STR, SPD, RES-

Items found: Glass Bow

Levels galore! Donnel and Midas went up the middle, Tharja and Gaius went left, taking out the paladin immediately, and the remaining 4 went right to take out the knights. After that, they moved upward, with Donnel and Midas joining the right side as the boss came down that way. Tharja promoted to a Dark Knight to help with movement, and since we don't have any desert chapters for a good while I feel like that was a good choice. Gregor and Gaius also hit 20, so I can't do anything about promoting them until after we get back to the Overworld since this place just so happens to sell some Master Seals..

After the battle, our heroes realize that hey, they're good enough against Alm's Vanguard forces with their small number. Why not take the battle to Alm itself? But to get to Alm, they would need boats. The only place with working boats are... yep, in Pledge. So they go off to speak with the new leader about finding some sea vessels and maybe some seamen to handle the poop decks.

Total turn count: 123 turns

Stats as of end of Ch. 12:
Grandmaster Midas: 35/18/25/17/19/17/16/10
Great Lord Chrom: 41/22/2/23/25/21/18/7
War Cleric Lissa: 34/9/16/16/16/25/15/16
Mercenary Donnel: 45/22/9/26/25/33/22/11
Thief Gaius: 34/18/3/25/25/11/11/3
Mercenary Gregor: 40/20/1/21/17/14/13/3
Dark Knight Tharja: 43/15/21/16/24/8/18/9
Dancer Olivia: 26/6/2/12/14/8+4/4/5

Well there won't be an update from me for a while because, well:



Yeah Project X Zone came out yesterday, so I'll be playing that for a while. Here's something to occupy the time though. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVtmfwWdEBg

I don't have a 3DS capture card.

My computer can't handle DS games let alone 3DS games.