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 Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:27 am
Text to: Kettil oh my god you annoying s**t yes we can go to the movies later Text to: Kettil im trying to be serious for a second Text to: Kettil put your big boil panties on
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:29 am
Text to: Freya *Puts on his panties.* Ok now ask.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:34 am
Text to: Kettil What would you do if I died?
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:37 am
Text to: Freya What? I don't know. I don't really think about it, Freya. I ...I guess the basic thing would be is become very, very sad. I'd probably hate everything for a while, depending on what killed you... Text to: Freya I can't say that I'd just move on and live on without you. I am not sure I'd be able to. Maybe I'd just let myself waste away just so I can be with you... Text to: Freya Why did you ask? What would you do if it happened to me?
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:46 am
Freya closed the phone and threw it on the bed. Then she curled up, burying her face into the pillow, and pulled the sheets up over her head.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:49 am
Kettil blinked away from his phone. He'd been waiting, staring intensely for her response but instead? He got her suddenly shutting down on him. The boil stood up from the couch and wandered over toward the bed and sat on the edge of it.
"Freya? Did I say something wrong?" He gently reached up to tug the sheets away so he could see her face.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:50 am
"No." The sound came muffled through the pillow, even after he pulled the sheets away. She tightened her hold on the pillow that smothered her face in, but she had no more to say than that answer.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:52 am
He sighed a bit as he shifted to where he lay close to her using another pillow to prop his head and just stared at her. She asked the question and now she was sad at his answer, he furrowed his brow a little.
"Tell me what you are thinking, c'mon. No corners."
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:09 am
Damn that no corner bullshit. She regretted it now more than ever. Her head turned just enough to stare up at him, guilt riddling her features. She wanted to yell at him, and tell him she could keep all the corners she wanted. But she knew the instant they gave up on that ideal, she would have regretted it.
Her nails dug into the pillow and then she pushed it away.
"I wants teh be as sure as yeh, that I would die without yeh." It sounded terrible, but that was actually how she felt.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:16 am
Kettil didn't seem hurt or concerned. His hand reached out to touch her cheek, "Were you afraid I'd be mad at you for that? Just because I am not sure I'd have the strength to carry on without you?"
The boil shifted closer to her not seeming to care how intense the conversation was, "Freya. If you feel you can carry on without me then do it. Do it and have my blessing to do so, just don't forget me."
He sort of seemed pensive for a moment, "It also very much depends on how you died, Freya. I ... I would keep myself going if we have scarelings together. I would raise them the best way I know how and tell them everything about you...I would keep going if you insist that I should, here and now. I take my promises to you very seriously."
"The only thing I can say for damn sure is that I'd miss you like crazy. So bad that it'd hurt me each day and night. I'd probably be angry for a while because you can't be with me anymore," he sounded somber and sad. "I don't know if I'd ever marry anyone else because you are my soulmate. No ghoul'd be able to fill the whole in my heart that'd be left behind from your death."
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:21 am
The more Kettil spoke, the more upset Freya seemed to get. It was exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was what she didn't feel she deserved. She let out one choked sob, and then threw herself at him, her fingers clinging to his skin desperately.
"NO I DON'T WANTS YEH TEH KEEPS GOING. I mean. ********. That's not what I means. Of course I wants yeh teh.. no, nooo I just.."
She buried her face into his skin and cried. "I wants teh be worth all yehr promises." But she wasn't. As much as he tried to convince her.. she wasn't.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:28 am
He just felt her suddenly cling to him and his arms securely and tightly wrapped around her. Tears stung his own eyes as the emotion of the moment simply swept over him and dragged him into the undercurrent.
"Túkut, please. Please believe me when I say you are worth it. I am not sure how I am supposed to convince you that you are," he murmured his voice thick with all the emotion that they both suddenly had. Just a few moments ago they were having fun and now one question...
He closed his eyes tightly, "What happened to make you hate yourself so much? To make you think that you aren't worthy of me for even a moment? Because it is all a lie you are telling yourself and I hate that lie. I hate it more than I hate when I can't protect you or help you. It makes you sad and makes you think you don't deserve me."
Tears dripped slowly down his face. There was nothing in his words that suggested that he would leave her for all of this, "I'll help you no matter what. How can I prove to you that you are as I see you? You are worth everything and more."
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:33 am
She could hear the desperation, and the heartbreak, in his voice. It only made her pain more intense. "Yeh knows exactly what happened, Hooter." She huffed out. But as soon as she said it, she instantly regretted it. She couldn't keep resurfacing this pain, and this failure. She lived with it every day, but it wasn't getting her anywhere. She didn't know how to get rid of it.. but she knew she had to.
"I'm sorry." Freya whispered, nuzzling her face into his chest again. "I guess I'm just feeling a little selfish, right now. I wants teh believes.. that everything really is as perfect as it seems. And it's very hard, yeh knows? Nothing is supposed teh be this perfect."
She sniffed, and her eyes blinked up at him, wide and pleading as she latched on to something he'd said.
"Can we have a lot of them?" She asked - practically begged, really.
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:38 am
He actually flinched at her words the moment she huffed them out. Most times he was immune to her random bouts of ill temper but right now he was too fragile and her words lashed against his skin. He'd almost become defensive but then she apologized.
The boil furrowed his brow, "But it seems like there is something so much worse," he murmured with a small sniff as if to keep tears from coming out even more. The boil just held her more tightly and he shrugged as he stared down at her, "Well start believing it, Freya. It ain't like I am a dream going to disappear the moment you open your eyes one mornin'."
Kettil was momentarily thrown off by her question since it seemed so odd and disjointed from the matter at hand. Then suddenly he recalled and smiled in spite of his tears, "As many of them as possible. I want a big family, Freya. A huge one. An' I want to make it with you."
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Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 5:44 am
It ain't like I am a dream going to disappear the moment you open your eyes one mornin'.
That was exactly what she was afraid of.
Her head turned, resting on him, as her fingers just ran along his back, and arms, and touched him without purpose just to force herself to believe he was real. His answer made her bubble with laughter through her tears, and she looked up at him, helpless to stop the smile on her face. "A huge family." She loved the way he had told her he would tell their children about her. She would do the same, if the day ever came. They would be her life; and she would never lose him, as long as their children were in this world.
"Really soon." She tugged on his arm and pushed herself up to crawl into his lap.
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