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I liked it. Give it a 7. The plot line was fantastic, but the whole thing seemed like a summary. Like you rushed to finish this piece. There isn't a whole lot of description, and the point of view keeps changing. But the plot is great, the characters are defined. So, yeay!

Just got the second chapter done. 3nodding Whew... sweatdrop this took me all night... xp

Chapter 2: A New Friend

The Next morning, Orphen and Joe wait outside the Mark of the Wolves training dojo for a certain someone. “So, who exactly is this guy?” Asked Joe, who is beginning to lose his patience. “He’s a friend of mine. We go way back, Rock and I.” Said Orphen, who fidgetted a bit after that remark. Joe notices this, “What’s wrong?” He asked. Orphen, who was lost in thought for a moment, turns to look over at Joe, “Huh?…oh, it’s nothing…” Joe cocks an eyebrow at Orphen’s hesitated response, and begins to stare at him suspiciously. “Is there something about you two that I should know?” He asked. Orphen opened his mouth as if to say something, but he hesitated, then sighed, “I haven’t seen him for quite a long time because…” He hesitates again, “We kinda got into a fight a while back…” He finished. Joe’s eyes widened, “So what you’re saying is…you aren’t sure if this guy will help us?” He said. Orphen gave a glance at Joe as if to say, “sorry” then he reluctantly nodded. Joe’s nostrils flared at this, and he took a step towards Orphen as if was gonna blow up in his face, but was interrupted by a blonde young man who stepped out of the dojo. The boy wore a red and white jacket with a big white star on the back, black pants, with black suede shoes, and he wore black leather gloves that showed off his slim fingers on each hand. His hair was draped over his eyes and a trickle of sweat rolled down his cheek. His face was flushed from the work-out, but it flushed even more when he saw Orphen. “What the hell are you doing here?” His voice penetrated through Orphen’s ears like a hot, sharp blade. Orphen took a step forward, ignoring the boy’s anger. “Long time no see, Rock.” Said Orphen as he smiled and extended his palm to shake hands. Rock cocked an eyebrow, “Not long enough. If you’ll excuse me.” He began to walk past Orphen, but Orphen put his hand on Rock’s shoulder. Orhen sighed without looking at Rock, “Look, I know you’re still mad at me, but…” He looks into Rock’s eyes, “I need…we need your help.” He said. Rock turned his attention to Joe, ignoring Orphen’s request, “Aren’t you that famous Muai Thai boxing champ from Timber?” He asked. Joe nodded as he puffed up his chest with pride, “Yup, I…” Rock nods, and interrupts Joe in mid-sentence, “So what’s a martial arts champion like you doing with scum like him?” He jerks his head at Orphen’s general direction. Joe’s face flushes, he didn’t know how to answer that. “Anyway.” Said Rock, “What makes you guys think that I’ll help you?” He asked, as he glared at Orphen. “Well, uh…you see…” Began Orphen, but was abruptly interrupted by Joe, “A bunch of thugs raided my village and…supposedly, murdered my Grandmother! I plan on taking revenge on these men, if you could even call them ‘men’, but we need more people to side with us in order to win!” He yelled. A long quiet moment had passed, then Rock sighed, “Well, I am sorry to hear about your grandma, but even if I did decide to help, it’ll take forever to muster up a whole gang to take these guys. They’d be long gone by the time we have a whole gang, look…” He waves at Orphen and Joe’s general direction, “There are only three of us, and I’m sure as hell not gonna endanger my life for something so…” He was interrupted by Orphen, “Four.” He said. Rock cocked his head at that remark, “Who’s the fourth?” he asked. “I am.” Said Yuffie as she stepped out from behind a nearby barrel. Orphen regarded her presesence with surprise. “I thought you went to the store to buy us some rations for the journey, like you said!” He said. Yuffie shrugs off Orphen and Joe’s suspicious glares. “I was, but I thought it’d be funner to eavesdrop on you guys instead.” She smiled at Orphen. Orphen shook his head and sighed, then turned his attention back to Rock. “So are you gonna help us or not?” He asked, expecting a “no” for an answer. Rock considered it for a moment, “…Very well…but in one condition…” He said. Orphen let out a sigh of relief, “Anything.” He said. Rock smiled and lowered his eyebrows into a malicious smirk, “We fight each other so that I can test your abilities.” Orphen’s eyes widen at this, “What? Why?” He asked. Rock shrugged, “Well, if you guys are planning on taking on a whole gang in so little time, then you got to make sure that you’re strong enough to do it, right?” He glanced back at Orphen. Orphen glowered at him, “Right…but you’re not a gang! What makes you think that if I fought you and won, would automatically make me ‘good enough’ to fight a gang?” He said with a harsh tone. Rock paused for a moment, thinking on how to respond to that, “…Tell ya what? You and I fight one match together-only one-and whoever wins the bout, leads our so-called ‘gang’ into battle. What do ya say?” Orphen shook his head, still glowering at him, “No! Who do you think you are? I…” Rock interrupts him, “Then I guess I won’t help…” He said, as he continued to walk away…until, Orphen let out another sigh, “Fine.” Rock immediately turned back around and walked back, “Good!” He said as he began walking into the dojo, “C’mon, we’ll fight in here….” He stopped and looked back at Orphen, “Oh, and Orphen? No cheating this time, ok?” Orphen, still glaring at him, nodded. Rock walked into the dojo to wait for his combatant. Joe looked over at Orphen, “So…what did you guys fight about before?” He asked. Orphen shrugged, “We were sparring one time, and he accused me of cheating.” Joe regarded this dubiously, “Did you?” He asked. Orphen shook his head, “No! I won him fair and square! He’s just a soar loser!” He yelled. Joe lifted up his palms in defense, “Ok, ok, no need to get so angry!” Orphen shook his head, “I…I’m sorry, pal. I suppose I should watch my temper.” He walked up to the door of the dojo, then looked back at Joe and Yuffie. “C’mon guys. This might take awhile.” Joe and Yuffie followed him inside. The dojo looked like any other regular dojo, white walls, wide open matt in the middle of the room, and a big poster of a wolf on the north wall. “Nice place.” Said Orphen as he nodded in satisfaction. “Nice…and roomy…” He added, with a smidge of sarcasm. “Whatever.” Said Rock, as he takes off his jacket, reavealing a black, short-sleave shirt, “Lets get to it!” He said as he got into his fighting stance. Orphen looked at him with a plain and un-amused expression on his face. He began to take off his navy blue, jean vest, and tossed it aside. He scratched his nose, grabbed his left bicep, and pointed his left palm to the ground. A dark purple light illuminated around him. Rock’s eyebrows furrowed, “Remember, no cheating!” said Rock, still in his fighting stance. “I won that fight fair and square, Rock!” Said Orphen. Rock pushed back his bangs from his eyes, “Whatever.” He said, as he rushed at Orphen with heart-stopping speed, holding his elbow out, and hitting Orphen square on his chest, “OOF!” grunted Orphen, but he was soon interrupted by a purple blast in the face. Orphen flew back and landed on his back…hard. “Ha! Is that all ya got?” Taunted Rock. Orphen stood up, as if unaffected, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He said as he pointed his palm in Rock’s direction, “Hand of Pyro!” He yelled as fireball, about the size of a basket ball, soared at Rock. “I’m not that easy!” yelled Rock, as he simply side-stepped the projectile and followed-up with a blast of his own, “Cyclone Sock!” He yelled as a purple energy wave was hurled from his right palm and slided quickly across the ground at Orphen. Seeing this coming, Orphen leaped into the air and shot a purple blast of his own, “Eat this!” He yelled, as his blast successfully nailed Rock in the face. Rock tumbled to the ground, but quickly hopped to his feet, “It’s not over yet!” He cried as he ran straight at Orphen. Orphen braced himself to defend, but Rock quickly teleported right behind him, and grabbed Orphen’s legs, “What the…?” Began Orphen, but was flinged all the way across the room. Rock gathered energy from his body, and into his palm, then shot a piercing blue blast at Orphen before he hit the ground. However, Orphen crossed his arms in front of him as he sailed through the air, “Shield of Immunity!” He cried, as a green sphere began to develop around his entire body, blocking the blue blast that Rock shot. He then recovered with a quick flip letting him land on his feet. He smiled, “You’ve gotten weaker, Rock.” He said, still smiling with a mocking tone, “You shouldn’t challenge your superiors.” He added. Hearing this outrage, Rock yelled with frustration and reared his fist back, causing his fist to glow a bright golden color. “We’ll see about that!” Cried Rock, “What’s this…?” Began Orphen, but stopped abruptly as Rock dashed towards him, fist extended, “Shining Knuckle!” Yelled Rock. Orphen smiled at this attempt, “Hmph…idiot.” Rock flew all the way across the mat towards Orphen, “It’s over Orphen!” He yelled as he neared him. “That’s what you think!” At the last moment, Orphen casted a teleportation spell and appeared behind Rock, who was now heading towards the wall, but stopped just before he crashed. Rock turned around and saw Orphen pointing his palm in his direction, “With this spell, I bind thee!” Answering to the incantations, Rock began to feel his body grow stiff. As he looked down he noticed that he was turning into a human icicle, as ice surrounded his legs and worked its way up to his neck, “What the hell is this?” He blurted out. Orphen put his hand down and walked casually over to Rock. “It’s a binding spell. You won’t be able to get out so don’t bother struggling.” Rock gritted his teeth, “’Fair and square’ huh?” He said with irony that was so tense that Orphen winced, “Look, I didn’t want to resort to this, but this is the only way I can get you to listen to me. Now lets stop this, and help us out.” Rock gritted his teeth even more, “And if I don’t?” He yelled. Orphen smiled as he looked at Rock up and down, “Do you have a choice?” He said wryly. Rock looked down and shook his head, then sighed, “I suppose it is inevitable…”


I know...this one is way longer... sweatdrop but let me know what ya think so far?

Thank you! whee biggrin

no porb

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2061465/1/


a really funny story about Shao Kahn.

I like reading them.

sweatdrop i know, but i wanted to start one here.

thats ok, go only if you want to read ficfiction. You dont have to post your fanfiction there. 3nodding