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 Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 8:04 pm
pirulaso I guess I'm not really seeing a problem. A couple is a couple, you don't have to fit some kind of model gay/straight poster image. So you're both not overly romantic. Who cares? Sometimes people are just not that intimate with each other. True words indeed. We've been living by that for awhile now. It's not the being super romantic part that's the problem, though. I just want us to be more comfortable around each other without getting all awkward is all. And I want us to be closer as a couple. Nothing game changing, I assure you OuO.
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:03 pm
(Possibly) My Final Decision From what I've gotten so far, I need to push through the awkwardness, take the lead, not rush but still do something, say how I feel, bond over something we both like, focus on our friendship, do something romantic, do something I want done to me so he'll know what I'm comfortable with, go somewhere comfortable, get him something that he can look at to remind him of me, do a grand romantic gesture, and finally tell him that I love him ( I know, I finally admitted it out loud! It's got me all jittery!). I've been talking more lately (we even had a talk about how he's taking the whole switch from women to men) and doing more sweet, considerate things, but I really wanted to find a way to incorporate all of these things in a way that unmistakably shows him what he means to me and I think I have the perfect plan for our 2 year anniversary. Warning, Contains Mild Adult Nonhetero Themes So, I've already told him to keep his schedule clear next weekend and I've already bought us tickets to a movie and a little something at a badass store. Tonight, I'm gonna buy him something he's been dying to get: the new God of War game being released at midnight. Here's my plan, on our anniversary I'm gonna let him sleep in for a bit while I make him breakfast. Since he's going to culinary school to be a chef he's always done the cooking, so I thought it'd be nice if I made breakfast for once. Even if it sucks, I'm hoping the gesture should get a pass. Then I'm gonna give him a naughty wake up with something I've been wanting to try for a while twisted . Once breakfast is done, I'm taking him to laser tag and go cart racing (I was gonna go with water park but then thought swimming and water rides after eating was a bad idea). After we're tuckered out, we'll get lunch at the mall and have a nice talk about small things, have a look around at the shops, holding hands (if he tries to pull away, I'll bite him on the ear or something and tell him to deal twisted ), then we'll catch that movie. Afterwards, we'll get some coffee and play his new videogame till we get hungry, I'll make some spaghetti or something and I'll give him the badness necklace I got him and we'll have a serious talk where I'll probably tell I love him. Unless I get my heart completely shattered before my very eyes, hopefully this will lead the way to the grandest romantic gesture I can think of. The biggest most sincere gift I could ever get, I finally realized, was me. I'm gonna give him my virginity (you know, the only one I've got left). I know, it seems rash and a bunch of other things, but believe me, I've actually been thinking about it for a long time and it's not just for emotional expression anymore. We're ready for it, I trust him, and I know we both want it. Besides I took his first so it's only fair. wink I'm super nervous and excited. Hopefully this sounds like a good idea.
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:36 pm
I honestly think it sounds like a great idea, especially if you're pretty sure about it, and I wish you good luck. You seem so enthusiastic about this, so I hope it goes well.
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:48 pm
In my opinion, awkwardness and intimacy go hand-in-hand- especially when it's kinda new. And since this still is pretty new to you, I wouldn't worry about it; it'll pass. Just try not to think about it too much- just do - because all thinking can do is make you even more awkward. But, avoiding the problem will never fix anything- you just gotta practice. Do relationshippy stuff more often, push yourself out of your comfort zone; once you get out into the water, it wont seem so bad. Maybe have a talk with him and explain how you feel and what you want to change. Getting your feels out there is always a good idea.
I'm not sure if that made sense, but I wish you luck nonetheless!
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:06 pm
RebelliousSonOfMrClean Homosexuals are attracted to men and only men. Not sure if this was said, but homosexuals are people attracted to the same gender; not just men. It is a woman to woman or man to man. Not just "gays".
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:31 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:50 am
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:51 am
Immoral Oblivion RebelliousSonOfMrClean Homosexuals are attracted to men and only men. Not sure if this was said, but homosexuals are people attracted to the same gender; not just men. It is a woman to woman or man to man. Not just "gays". Yeah, I know. It just went without saying though.
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:42 pm
In awhile, my flower! Somewhere in a desert haze!
I saw this post a few days ago, but I hesitated to say anything because it's obviously a very important matter to you and I wanted to think out some good advice. Now it seems like you've mostly figured things out, but I suppose I can just add to what has already been said.
It's obvious from what you've mentioned that your boyfriend (or whatever term you prefer) is very dear to you, in both a romantic and friendship way. I've also noticed just how determined you are to make this work, and I think that's extremely important. Don't give up and keep telling yourself that you'll do whatever it takes to move your relationship along and it will succeed. However, always be conscientious of what your partner is thinking or wants. He probably feels just as awkward as you and you should make sure not to pressure him or rush things too quickly, since that will only push him away. I think constant communication is key here. If you are always open and talk out your issues with him, you two will be able to work past the awkward phase. As a bisexual man who doesn't fit into the stereotypical gay image in real life, I can understand why it might be uncomfortable to do things you view as "gay" and not fitting your macho image. You just have to ease yourself into these things, like holding hands in public. On the other hand, you shouldn't feel obligated to do such things if neither of you are comfortable with it. You both can define your own way of showing affection. There is no time limit on relationships and you don't have to feel like there's no progress if you're not moving fast enough. Just stay committed to making things work with your partner and things should be fine. Okay, I rambled on enough. xp
Also, your 2 year anniversary plan sounds perfect for your situation. I hope everything works out well and you two are happy together. biggrin
This is random side-thought, but your love life sounds so much like a fanfic... not that I know anything about that subject. mrgreen
I know one day you'll amaze me!
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:45 pm
RebelliousSonOfMrClean Servant Reborn So, you are homosexual? confused Well, technically no. sweatdrop It's a little more complicated than that. I'm more bisexual, but I've only ever been attracted to one guy my entire life, otherwise I find guys gross. When I look up porn, it's only either straight or lesbian porn.
People have this weird thing where they think they must fit their sexuality into one of three categories: straight, homosexual, or bisexual. Really, sexuality and gender identity are far more complex than that, and are not fixed for eternity, as you seem to be discovering.
Don't try to force yourself or your boyfriend into any categories or follow any stereotypical behaviors just because you think that's what you're supposed to do. Every relationship is unique, and because of that, you and your partner should work together to define it instead of having other people tell you what you two should be.
With that, I wish you two the best of luck. I'm shipping you both hardcore right now. You'll get over your awkwardness eventually, I'm sure. It's just one of those things you both need practice at.
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:49 pm
Special Monster In awhile, my flower! Somewhere in a desert haze!
I saw this post a few days ago, but I hesitated to say anything because it's obviously a very important matter to you and I wanted to think out some good advice. Now it seems like you've mostly figured things out, but I suppose I can just add to what has already been said.
It's obvious from what you've mentioned that your boyfriend (or whatever term you prefer) is very dear to you, in both a romantic and friendship way. I've also noticed just how determined you are to make this work, and I think that's extremely important. Don't give up and keep telling yourself that you'll do whatever it takes to move your relationship along and it will succeed. However, always be conscientious of what your partner is thinking or wants. He probably feels just as awkward as you and you should make sure not to pressure him or rush things too quickly, since that will only push him away. I think constant communication is key here. If you are always open and talk out your issues with him, you two will be able to work past the awkward phase. As a bisexual man who doesn't fit into the stereotypical gay image in real life, I can understand why it might be uncomfortable to do things you view as "gay" and not fitting your macho image. You just have to ease yourself into these things, like holding hands in public. On the other hand, you shouldn't feel obligated to do such things if neither of you are comfortable with it. You both can define your own way of showing affection. There is no time limit on relationships and you don't have to feel like there's no progress if you're not moving fast enough. Just stay committed to making things work with your partner and things should be fine. Okay, I rambled on enough. xp
Also, your 2 year anniversary plan sounds perfect for your situation. I hope everything works out well and you two are happy together. biggrin
This is random side-thought, but your love life sounds so much like a fanfic... not that I know anything about that subject. mrgreen
I know one day you'll amaze me! Your words are still appreciated. I'm grateful that you wanted to help at all even if you didn't post earlier. He is. He really is. I'm willing to do anything to make this succeed, so the reassurance is nice to hear. I would never want to pressure him, but things like that are sometimes hard to distinguish from him wanting me to make a move. I like to think that I know my brosef well enough to tell when it's too much, but you never know. This just gives me more incentive to talk with him more. Still working on the talking bit, but it's coming along. I won't recount them individually but it's a relief to hear all those things, the defining our own affection in particular. Thank you. I'm glad. And thank you for the kind words. Yeah, I get that a lot. What's funny is, our ex-girlfriend (he dated her, then she dated me after they broke up) was a yaoi fangirl. Him and I joke all the time about how her constant fangirl fanaticism probably mentally broke us or how she may have found a yaoi-shipping version of the Death Note somewhere.
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:55 pm
Irako of the Desert RebelliousSonOfMrClean Well, technically no. sweatdrop It's a little more complicated than that. I'm more bisexual, but I've only ever been attracted to one guy my entire life, otherwise I find guys gross. When I look up porn, it's only either straight or lesbian porn.
Don't try to force yourself or your boyfriend into any categories or follow any stereotypical behaviors just because you think that's what you're supposed to do. Every relationship is unique, and because of that, you and your partner should work together to define it instead of having other people tell you what you two should be.
With that, I wish you two the best of luck. I'm shipping you both hardcore right now. You'll get over your awkwardness eventually, I'm sure. It's just one of those things you both need practice at.Funny how I JUST posted that thing about shipping half a second ago. So it was you! scream You did this to me~! evil Yeah, we try our best to just go with it. Thank you for the reassurance.
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Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:09 am
RebelliousSonOfMrClean Special Monster In awhile, my flower! Somewhere in a desert haze!
I saw this post a few days ago, but I hesitated to say anything because it's obviously a very important matter to you and I wanted to think out some good advice. Now it seems like you've mostly figured things out, but I suppose I can just add to what has already been said.
It's obvious from what you've mentioned that your boyfriend (or whatever term you prefer) is very dear to you, in both a romantic and friendship way. I've also noticed just how determined you are to make this work, and I think that's extremely important. Don't give up and keep telling yourself that you'll do whatever it takes to move your relationship along and it will succeed. However, always be conscientious of what your partner is thinking or wants. He probably feels just as awkward as you and you should make sure not to pressure him or rush things too quickly, since that will only push him away. I think constant communication is key here. If you are always open and talk out your issues with him, you two will be able to work past the awkward phase. As a bisexual man who doesn't fit into the stereotypical gay image in real life, I can understand why it might be uncomfortable to do things you view as "gay" and not fitting your macho image. You just have to ease yourself into these things, like holding hands in public. On the other hand, you shouldn't feel obligated to do such things if neither of you are comfortable with it. You both can define your own way of showing affection. There is no time limit on relationships and you don't have to feel like there's no progress if you're not moving fast enough. Just stay committed to making things work with your partner and things should be fine. Okay, I rambled on enough. xp
Also, your 2 year anniversary plan sounds perfect for your situation. I hope everything works out well and you two are happy together. biggrin
This is random side-thought, but your love life sounds so much like a fanfic... not that I know anything about that subject. mrgreen
I know one day you'll amaze me! Your words are still appreciated. I'm grateful that you wanted to help at all even if you didn't post earlier. He is. He really is. I'm willing to do anything to make this succeed, so the reassurance is nice to hear. I would never want to pressure him, but things like that are sometimes hard to distinguish from him wanting me to make a move. I like to think that I know my brosef well enough to tell when it's too much, but you never know. This just gives me more incentive to talk with him more. Still working on the talking bit, but it's coming along. I won't recount them individually but it's a relief to hear all those things, the defining our own affection in particular. Thank you. I'm glad. And thank you for the kind words. Yeah, I get that a lot. What's funny is, our ex-girlfriend (he dated her, then she dated me after they broke up) was a yaoi fangirl. Him and I joke all the time about how her constant fangirl fanaticism probably mentally broke us or how she may have found a yaoi-shipping version of the Death Note somewhere. In awhile, my flower! Somewhere in a desert haze!
Well like I said, just keep working at it and as long as you two care about each other, everything should turn out fine. biggrin
You definitely have to tell us all how your anniversary goes. I'm rooting for you! whee
She's probably secretly shipping you two right now. wink
I know one day you'll amaze me!
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Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:31 am
UPDATE First let me say: Thank you all so much for all of your kind words, helpful advice, and all the support. Really, I owe you guys so much! Second: sorry for this being so long. I'll try to be brief and summarize what happened. I was originally going to lie and say he broke my heart and freak all of you out but I thought that would be too mean. xd I'm happy to let you know, me and my newly proclaimed boyfriend (I know, it gives me chills saying it whee ) are doing just perfect thanks to you wonderful people. 3nodding I would've updated sooner, but since Spring break was immediately after our anniversary we spent an amazing week just to ourselves and I was otherwise occupied. As for our anniversary, there were a few hiccups, like him accidentally kicking me in head when I went to wake him up (we laughed about it after), the single player mode of the new God of War being pretty lame, and a few other things here and there, otherwise it actually went great. I was just happy it didn't friggin' snow like it did earlier that week. I can honestly say, 100%, it was the best day of my life. I can't think of a time I was ever as happy as I am right now. blaugh There was a bit of a hand-holding struggle in the mall like I thought there would, but it didn't last long enough to require me to bite him. Not saying I still didn't do it, mind you. twisted And I am now officially the king of breakfast making scream ! Hell yeah! He completely owned me at laser tag (and I got a major shin bruise by being dumb and trying to show off my action hero stunts redface ). I got him back at go-cart racing though. We saw Spring Breakers together and were definitely not disappointed by what we saw twisted (but it was frustrating as hell cuz there were a few obnoxious dudes in the theater and a group of tween girls who probably only watched the movie to see their favorite Disney channel characters). We ended up skipping coffee and getting Arby's for "dinner". The multi-player on GoW was amazing and we played a little longer than I thought we would. When he actually said "I love you" back, words can't describe how I felt. I won't get into how...you know redface ...went, but I can tell you that I didn't hate it. We clonked out, exhausted, right afterwards. I woke up and found him yelling at the TV the next morning while playing GoW on single player and got there just in time to see him rage-quit. Adorable little f****r whee heart . I had actually forgotten about the necklace until that morning, but that was okay. He still loved it. So yeah. And we've been doing amazing ever since OuO. Been holding hands in public too.
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Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:36 am
I fail to see why you need aid in being happy.
Quote: having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music. Synonyms: cheerful, gleeful, happy, glad, cheery, lighthearted, joyous, joyful, jovial; sunny, lively, vivacious, sparkling; chipper, playful, jaunty, sprightly, blithe. Antonyms: serious, grave, solemn, joyless; staid, sedate; unhappy, morose, grim; sad, depressed, melancholy. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments. Synonyms: colorful, brilliant, vivid, intense, lustrous; glittering, theatrical, flamboyant. Antonyms: dull, drab, somber, lackluster; conservative.
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