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 Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 5:18 pm
"I think Billy would be the one to stop you. He's not really into sharing, and he'd get pissed if the only bed we had was one he was kicked out of." Though he knew that if he just asked Billy, he would do anything to make him happy. "Though he'd probably let me anyways. He's very..." How did he describe Billy's complete devotion to making him happy? His openness in telling him each and every moment that he would drop everything for him? "....um...willing to do anything?" Was that the right way to say that.
He sighed thinking about it. "He's actually willing to do anything in the world for me and he keeps mentioning it. It's not a bad thing. It's what couples are supposed to do. I tell him the same thing. I just feel bad that ....it just feels like he says it more. Means it more than I do." Was he holding them back? Was Billy unhappy? Did he need more from him? What else could he give him than what they had and what he was capable of?
He looked up at Paris, who, with that big rock on his finger, was an authority now in relationships. He always had been. Paris had been the person Ladon went to when he wasn't sure what to do in a relationship. "How long do you wait till............you ask about marriage?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 5:34 pm
If Paris knew he was considered any sort of authority on relationships by anyone, he'd have laughed heartily. He supposed experience often lent itself to knowledge, but he was still very young, and his circumstances were different than those of other people. All he could do was share the things that had happened in his life to lead up to this, and advise when and where he thought it was necessary.
He didn't really think he was the best when it came to giving advice, and questioned his own dependability when there were still aspects of his own life he couldn't quite figure out, but as long as Ladon asked for it Paris would do his best to answer what he could.
“I don't now,” he answered Ladon's question honestly. “I suppose it's different from person to person. Chris and I didn't talk about it until about three months before he proposed, so we'd only really known one another for a year and a half at that point and we'd been dating off and on, and I know the things I said when we talked about it didn't really encourage a proposal. But he decided to do it anyway, and by then... well, I'd had three months to think about it.”
And by then, of course, he'd decided that the obvious answer to the proposal was “yes.”
He stared across at Ladon curiously but decided not to ask the question he currently had on his mind. He was trying his best to be better about Billy, but it made him a little uncomfortable to think of Ladon and Billy getting married, whatever he might have said in jest previously. He supposed that was just lingering jealousy, and resolved to be better about it in future.
“I think... if you've gotten to the point where you can't imagine your life without him, then there's no harm in bringing it up,” Paris said. “Or you don't even have to bring marriage up specifically, but just... talk about the future, where you see yourselves a few years down the road, things like that. Then take it from there.”
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Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:44 pm
He considered this, and set his hand over his mouth as he thought very hard on that. He was quiet a moment, before he looked up, as if noticing he was here at a cafe with Paris, and uncovered his mouth again.
"Thanks. I just....wonder a lot. I never want to rush things, but I also don't want Billy to always feel as if he had to hold the reigns all the time. I feel like I exhaust him a lot, and he's already so tired working and just helping me." Helping him when he had panic attacks at night, when he was working on his GED, and now Billy was working long hours at a job he hated.
"If.......if it happens. I'll tell you." If they got married. ..........If. .......
He was worried.
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Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:25 pm
Paris responded with another giddy smile. If he weren't already so delighted by the prospect of his own marriage, he might have reacted on the small bits of lingering jealousy and bitterness and bemoaned the idea of Ladon and Billy getting married, but that seemed like such a silly thing to make a fuss about right now. It'd been two years and they were all a bit more grown up than they'd been then; these sorts of changes were only natural.
“I'd be very happy for you,” Paris said.
And he would be, whatever else he might also feel. Even now there was something sort of sad and lonely about Ladon, unless that was just a result of Paris projecting his own feelings, which he had to admit was entirely possible. Either way, he wanted to see his friend happy, and if being with Billy made him happy then Paris could surely live with it.
There was time until then to get used to the idea, in any case.
“Just think about it for a while,” he said. “You don't have to rush. I'll be here to help if you need it.”
Wasn't that what friends were for?
Paris might not be the best friend on the face of the Earth, and maybe there were some things still left to improve on when it came to his various relationships with people, but it wasn't for lack of trying.
And that was the one thing he knew he could always do: try.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:11 pm
He smiled at the support, but then remembered something. Something that suddenly had his smile turn into a pressed line as he thought about something that he was hesitant to bring up.
"Well...there might be one thing...." One thing he wasn't sure Paris would want to discuss.
"....since you were with Billy and all, even if you don't like him all that much now, just............did you....notice anything he liked when he was with you........that one time?" Ladon didn't even look at Paris, instead staring at the Warning: Contents Hot label on his cup.
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:57 am
Paris was not the sort to blush often. He might sometimes if he happened to receive a compliment when he wasn't actively fishing for one, particularly if they happened to come from those he didn't often expect to receive one from, but those instances were rare. The topics of sex and relationships had never seen him feeling much discomfort. At least in the case of sex, it was something he'd been familiar with (intimately) for years—too long, perhaps, for someone of his age. To Paris, there was no point in playing coy and innocent. Sex was sex. Most people did it at some point in their life.
But the idea of discussing his previous sexcapade with Billy was not one he particularly liked. Perhaps it might not have bothered him so much once, but things were different now. He was different. He didn't often like to look back on earlier times, especially when it came to an event that had previously caused so much contention.
It seemed weird to Paris for Ladon to bring it up, though judging by what he said... what he asked... Paris thought he might have some idea as to why Ladon felt the need to talk about it now.
“Uh...” Paris began. His face went slightly pink. “That was... I mean... it was a while ago, Lady. More than two years. That's a long time. And... I mean... to be honest... if all that stuff hadn't happened... you know, with you and Billy and me and you... Billy probably would have just ended up like all the others.”
He winced and fiddled with the pages of one of his magazines, looking down at the glossy front cover of some pretty model in white.
“He'd've probably been just another face I'd eventually forget,” Paris said. “There were a lot of people back then. And with Billy... it was just something to pass the time. You know, it was convenient and amusing. I didn't really bother to pay attention to what he liked. I was just doing it for myself. It wasn't like it is with Chris, when I actually care to know those things.”
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 10:32 am
"oh......I just thought........." He thought he could gleam a bit more information about what Billy might want if he was with someone who had more experience. He wondered if the Billy before had demanded more from others because he cared less about them, and that was something he wasn't asking form Ladon. "...nothing. Forget about it."
Despite the fact he was somewhat glad that Paris didn't consider Billy much of anything at that time that he forgot about him, he also was disappointed, and frowned at the cup. Now he felt like he had asked something stupid and might have made him look - bad. But, he had been hoping for a little more. He wanted to surprise Billy in ways. Despite all the time they were together, he always felt naive in comparison to Billy and Paris. To everyone really. It felt like everyone had sex years before he did, and he was trying to catch up.
He had been hoping Paris could tell him something to surprise Billy with. That he knew a little more than he did, or showed him something he didn't expect. They had already talked about a few things Billy might want that Ladon wasn't providing, and while Billy had said it was fine, that he didn't want Ladon to push himself, Ladon wanted to. Sometimes he felt he was being handled with kid gloves.
At this age, wasn't he a man by now? Why did he feel still feel like a dumb kid?
Looking up, he forced a smile. "So everything else okay?" He should probably leave soon. Paris had a lot on his plate to sort out for his wedding.
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:13 pm
Paris wasn't sure if he wanted to forget about it. He and Ladon didn't often discuss these things, especially since there'd been so much drama over it before, so he thought it must have taken a lot for Ladon to bring it up, and that Ladon wouldn't have done so unless... well, unless he felt it was important to do so. Paris didn't like to leave him with such an unhelpful answer but wasn't sure what else he was supposed to have said. He'd told the truth. Even when he took a moment to try and look back, nothing stood out that Paris thought needed to be relayed.
It was a topic weird anyway, wasn't it? Paris certainly felt weird about it, and shifted a bit in his chair in an attempt to find a more comfortable position. It'd never bothered him much before, but the fact that he'd previously slept with his best friend's boyfriend seemed rather awkward now that Paris was engaged and Ladon was asking him questions about timing and when to ask about marriage.
“Oh, yeah, everything else is fine,” Paris said, and managed to smile brightly. “Just still trying to keep sorting out my life, I guess. Getting through school, dancing my a** off, that sort of thing.”
There was more to it than that, but the rest was a lot of complicated emotional baggage he didn't really think he should bother Ladon with when Ladon clearly had things of his own to sort out. It was better to pretend like things were fine.
And they were. Sort of. Mostly. Enough that Paris felt... not entirely satisfied, but like he was getting closer.
“And you're okay?” he made sure to ask. “Or... okay enough? You're getting by okay? You know if you ever need help with anything... I mean... with whatever, or... I don't know. I'm not trying to, like... well, if you ever want extra company or something, I've always got my phone on me.”
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