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 Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:10 pm
It was really unbelievable.
And then it became even moreso.
Freya dropped the dread when she registered what he was saying, with such ease and lack of hesitance. She stared at him with a dubious glare, her lips pursed to one side. "Haha, don't jokes about things like that. Yeh wouldn't wants teh takes apart all this works, just for me and my curiosity."
Her heart stuttered painfully. "I means.. it would be.. yeh loves these dreads. Don't offers things like that just teh makes me happy."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:15 pm
There was an almost incredulous expression that crossed over his face and he just uttered a small laugh, "I enjoy them, ya! I even don't mind takin' proper care of them but it goes a bit far t'say that I love them, Princess." He just grinned and shook his head a little bit.
In truth the only thing that'd make him sad would be to cut his hair entirely.
"'Sides. You aren't the only one curious 'bout it. I wonder how it'd be after all these years puttin' 'em up that way," he said thoughtfully.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:39 pm
His reasoning was sound. She'd be curious too, if she was him.. so in the end, she settled for accepting it, and started to jitter with excitement.
"Oooh. I can helps. Okays? I will takes them out, I don't minds how long it takes. Yeh tells me what teh do, and I does it." She brushed the dread back behind his ear, back into place, and then rested her hand on his shoulder. "Just not today. Deeefinitely not today."
Sitting for that long with her back feeling the way it did? Not likely a good idea.
"I'm kind of excited.. just a little bit." She didn't know exactly why. But change was always fun. Changing was one of her favorite things to do. It was why she had so many clothes, and hair accessories, and..
Freya pulled all of her hair off of his head, and sifted through it with her own fingers. She was thinking about her sister, now.
"Hooter?" Freya whispered, very quietly. She didn't need to speak loudly anymore, anyway - he wasn't more than an inch away. "Do yeh thinks I should cuts my hair?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:49 pm
"We can do it another day," he agreed. Simply because he had to do at least some preparation if they seriously wanted to pursue this. Kettil seemed chipper and in agreement with her excitement over the change of hair even if it might be temporary, "Yeah, hopefully it'll go well, hm?" He said happily.
The question she asked next as she pulled her hair off of his head made him pause and his eyes narrowed as he scrutinized her face and seemed to think about it, "I...am gonna be honest, I'd be kinda sad if you did but if it made you happy to cut your hair I wouldn't fight with ya on it," he replied as he reached up and now brushed his fingertips over her bangs, "I'd just be sad because ... that's it's so pretty and long and it suits you but...I think you'd look sexy no matter what length of hair you have." Blunt and to the point.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:59 pm
Freya let her hair fall out of her hands when he reached up and brushed her bangs away. In truth, the only reason she'd even considered the treacherous and blasphemous idea was because Hel had done it.. and in secret, Freya wanted so much to be like her sister right now. She would never admit it out loud, because the tables had turned so much since they were children - but she craved the freedom and strength her sister now exhibited. She was.. like a role model.
How had it even come to this?
Kettil was complimenting her left and right, and it was hard to see straight. She ducked her head, pursing her lips thin to keep from grinning, but the bright flush that filled her cheeks gave her away.
"Okays. Glad yeh says that. I didn't wants teh cuts it anyway." She smirked up at him, but her head remained ducked, if only because she couldn't look directly at him. "Thanks for being honest. I appreciates that."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:07 pm
The blushing amused him and he only grinned as a result of that. Kettil seemed glad that she didn't want to cut her hair as he only shifted his shoulders, "Always gonna be honest with you and what I think," he said simply. Even if it hurt her he would be honest with her but of course he'd be as gentle as possible about it as well.
He seemed thoughtful as he pulled back a little bit, needing to stretch out his arms and his legs since they were starting to feel numb from being stuck in one position for so long just to hover so closely to her, "...Freya do you...think it is okay for us to be so close after we lost our ... relationships?"
It was a question of curiosity, to get her take on it.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:16 pm
It was the question they needed to ask, and it was the one thing she'd been wanting to avoid since the moment she'd first realized there was something between them she couldn't control. As soon as he asked it, so blunt and honestly, Freya's blush and smile both faded within seconds. She looked up at him mournfully, and her eyes flooded with guilt.
"No, Hooter." She murmured, her heart breaking at the sound. "I don't thinks it is okays. I thinks is probably a huge mistake, and I thinks we are just.. so.."
She groaned as she tried to push herself up, testing her back out. It still hurt, but it was enough to allow her to sit up. This was a conversation she needed to be sitting up for.
Once the pain ebbed, she opened her eyes to look at him again. "I thinks we are rushing into somethings without thinkings - and I thinks we are terrible peoples for it. Oh, Hooter." She pouted, and pressed her hand against his cheek. "I already knows I was a terrible person, but yeh.. yehr so sweet, and good. So good. I should be ashamed of myself for wantings this so much."
She dropped her hand, and her pout turned into a deep, tortured frown. "I am ashamed."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:24 pm
Instead of looking rejected and sad at her answer he just listened to it and seemed to think about it even as she seemed to fill with shame and a bit of regret he still didn't seem upset as he watched her sit up, the talk they needed to have didn't stop him from moving a bit closer to her, he rested his head on her lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Don't." He said simply, softly, "If you're ashamed then that means this so wrong that it shouldn't even exist at all," he said softly almost sounding hurt.
He closed his eyes, "I never ... ever once expected us to get...intimate right away even though we almost did, we just...We were masking our pain."
"I ... I feel comfortable around you, we always have fun no matter what we are doing, I can wait if I have to, I don't give a damn but don't be ashamed of who we are and what we've done," he murmured quietly.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:43 pm
Freya's breath sucked in when he fell to her lap and wrapped his arms around her. Just that one word had the power to rend her helpless. She heard it, the soft sound of Kettil's 'don't', and her head swam. There was no fighting his logic because she couldn't. She couldn't, no matter how guilty she felt. She had strong, powerful feelings for the boil. Whether they were right or wrong didn't matter anymore; they were hers, and they were demanding. Fighting them was as useless as fighting Hel.
And suddenly, her guilt transformed. She couldn't bear to let Kettil stand a moment longer alone on the threshold, with his heart bare, asking her not to be ashamed. She'd promised herself long ago that she would never let him stand alone.
"I'm sorry." Her cracked voice whispered as she bent down, ignoring the ache in her back as her body draped over his. "I'm so sorry. I'm not ashamed, 'jika. I'm lucky. I'm proud. I'm not ashamed."
She loved Herryk with all her heart. But she refused to feel ashamed for loving Kettil as well, anymore. Her heart was big enough now. It was strong enough.
She was proud to be the one he wanted in his arms.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:54 pm
It was warm, comfortable. Embracing her and hearing her words.
The fact was he was well aware that neither of their once significant others wouldn't approve of this and he supposed, in a way, he couldn't blame them for the possible disapproval but the fact remained that they were now here, alone.
He didn't want Freya because he couldn't stand to be alone. He could be alone if he had to.
Kettil quietly went on vocalizing his feelings for her, laying the metaphorical cards on the table for her to see, "I realize, maybe they wouldn't be very enthused by our behavior but the fact is...They let us go, we didn't let them go to be with each other, we aren't like this to conspire against them or because we plotted it...It is just because of how we are, how close we've become and been from the start." He closed his eyes, "I don't want to be with you because I am lonely and can't bear ... not being with someone but because you are like another part of me, you make me whole again. If you weren't here I just ... wouldn't have anyone, and I'd be content with being alone if I had to be."
But he didn't.
"Just like you...I'm lucky. I'm proud to be your friend and then some," he finished softly.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:05 pm
Freya ran her hands along the top of Kettil's head, and listened to him pour his heart out. She loved being there for him. She could have done it forever. But he was wrong. And she would never let him believe something that wasn't true.
"No, Hooter. Herryk didn't lets me go. We lets each other down, somehow. I don't knows exactly when it happened.. we promised so many things. So many promises, I swear we meants them too. But then, something changed in both of us. I wish I knew what it was.."
She could see the darkness in Herryk's eyes now. Her own eyes closed at the thought of how easily he was able to be near her, and not touch her. She still couldn't bear to try and guess why.
"I just don't wants teh lets yeh down the way I lets him down. I'm broken, Hooter." Her fingers brushed against his lips. "Yehr the only thing that keeps me from fallings apart. If I didn't has yeh, I wouldn't be content. I would be.. I don't know what I would be." She chuckled quietly. "No, I knows exactly what I would be. A monster."
She let out a long, deep sigh. "I knows yehr intentions are true. I just don't thinks I deserves them. I wants them. I needs them. But I don't deserves them. I don't deserves yeh, Kettil. I don't deserves anything at all."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:19 pm
His fingertips gripped at the cloth of what she currently wore but he didn't jerk away or do anything, he was very subtle about his displeasures and moods most of the time, "If he didn't let you go then, where is he? Why isn't he coming to talk it over with you and let you know how he feels or what he thinks is wrong? Why isn't he trying to fix what happened between you?" The questions were rapid-fire and blunt, but his words were not meant in ill but just so she saw why he said the things he had said, "I don't want to upset ya with all this but...That is how I look at it. He'd let you go, he's not even fightin' for you or tryin' to help figure out the changes or adjust with you...He's just...Letting you be."
As she skipped and jumped her way down Pity Lane he just growled a little bit, "Stop that. Just stop it," he said firmly. "You are wonderful, loving, and just and someone I am happy to be around each chance I get. You aren't broken not in the sense you seem to think you are and even then I am willing to help fix what is wrong to make you whole again, but just because your heart and spirit are battered and bruised doesn't mean...You aren't worthwhile for someone to cherish and care for."
"It isn't about whether or not ... one deserves the other. It is about ... being happy again," he said softly, "I don't give one ******** if I deserve to be happy or not. I'm just...I'm just going to take what chances I can and run with it. I spent too long agonizing over how I feel to just stop and walk away from everything..."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:28 pm
While Kettil was subtle about his displeasures, Freya was very open and easy to read. And as he questioned Herryk's intentions, Freya's mood was giving off very obvious hints about how she felt about it. Her eyes squeezed shut and her brow furrowed; her hands pulled away and tried to wrap around herself. She couldn't hear this, she couldn't stand to hear any of it. In the end, she opened her eyes, and a bold and fiery anger brewed within them.
It was the first time she'd ever looked that way at Kettil.
"Don't." Her voice growled. "Don't questions him. Yeh don't knows what happened. I don't knows what happened. I just-"
The anger fizzled out of her almost as quickly as it came, and her body melted against him, all the strength fading away. Tears fell silently from her eyes as her head rested against him.
"I just wants teh be happy too. But I wants teh feels like I deserves that happiness. And I don't." Her hands brushed away from her face and she looked up at the boil in front of her. "Yeh says these things teh me, but how can I make myself believes them? I wants teh feels like that deep down in my heart, Hooter." Her hands pressed desperately against the sides of his face. "I wants teh sees myself the way yeh sees me."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:35 pm
Though it was short lived he didn't cower in front of her anger but he didn't back down either he just tilted his head up and stared at her with defiant dark green eyes, eyes that told her that he still believed what he had said to her even as she tried to defend it. Even as she melted against him and tears fell from her eyes, he still just held onto her as if making sure she couldn't just get up and storm off in case their discussion got a bit too tough.
"That's why it isn't up to you if you deserve to be happy," he said softly, quite matter-of-factly, "that's why whether you want me to or not I plan to make you happy in whatever way I can, maybe one day you'll see yourself the way and others that care for you do, but until then I'm just going to keep feeling for you the way that I do."
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:42 pm
Kettil managed to calm her down, and she couldn't help but lift her lips in a weak smile. No woman in the world would have been able to help but smile when a man promised that much to her. It was physically impossible.
So he sealed his fate, then. She only hoped he knew what he was getting himself into.
"I wants teh makes yeh happy too, 'jika." Freya whispered, pushing her nose against his. "But sometimes, I'm goings teh makes yeh very, very sad." Her smile quirked to one side. "And sometimes, I'm goings teh makes yeh very, very mad." One eyebrow quirked upward. "I tells yeh this now, so yeh can't blames me for it later. I am no picnic."
She almost felt childish, asking the next question - because she already knew the answer. And that was the only reason she had the strength to ask it. "Are yeh sures yeh don't wants teh back outs now? This is yehr freebie - I won't be mads if yeh do."
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