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"I...I don't know that I'm good at all." Mitsu stammered between her tears. "I watched you kill him, I.... wanted you to kill him, and I did nothing to prevent it."

She clung to her reaper tightly afraid this conversation was going to have him pulling away. "I will always stand by you....I told you that. It's the only thing I know I can do."

"I...I don't think y-you understand. I can't bare the t-thought of being without you," the way she had broken down when she thought he was gone should have been indication enough. He was her mate, she had chosen him and bonded to him and breaking that bond was easier said than done.

She took in his words though and possibly took comfort in them when they weren't meant in that fashion. "S..so it will g-get easier?" She asked, the faintest sound of hope in her voice as she choked back the lingering tears. "W-will it eventually not h-hurt as much?" If she were able to become more like him maybe the confusion wouldn't be as great, sure she wouldn't be the same...but would she care? It was hard to say but right now she was hopeful that she wouldn't be reduced to tears every time something of this nature happened since Shun was already giving her a fair warning it could and probably would happen again.

Mitsu tried to think of the cons of the situation but she was really only focused on the pros. "B..but it would make things...easier. Wouldn't it?" Having fun was a necessity she really couldn't afford anymore. Not if her way of life was going to be like this. She just needed to grow up and force that small innocent child into a closet in her mind and lock the door.

"Laughing...and having fun...they aren't really that important." Shun didn't seem to think so and he got along just fine. She was pretty sure she could do the same.

It seemed like the lycan was calming down at least but to what end it was hard to tell. It seemed she was edging more and more toward what Shun was fearing she would become.

Mitsu's brows furrowed when Shun told her she wasn't thinking clearly. She felt like she was. The lycan felt like she might actually have a handle on the situation which was more than she could say an hour ago and here he was telling her she was wrong.

She tilted her head up, just enough to look at him when he uttered his next statement. He...was envious of her and the others? But that didn't quite make sense. "Y...you envy us? B..but you never seem to like it when we include you in having fun." Her muscles relaxing again her head found the pillow, a hand coming up to wipe the tears from her face. "And its not living that I apparently need, its surviving and coping."

Mitsu didn't seem to understand but her mind wasn't willing to wrap around much at the moment. She was tired and an odd numbing sensation had started to take over. At least it was better than the painful feelings of guilt, regret, and sadness.

"Alright.." Mitsu agreed to whatever method Shun would be willing to teach her. Hopefully she would be able to grasp it better than lucid dreaming.

"It's...not me I am worried about defending.." She had wiggled a bit closer as he drew her near, a hand gently resting against his left cheek. "I can take care of myself just fine." To a point anyway. Physically she could probably withstand anything, mentally she couldn't handle much.

"But we can talk about this more later....you need your rest." Meaning she was done and needed a break from the conversation.

"I'll try," Mitsu replied before leaning into the kiss and then resting back on the pillow. She snuggled into Shun's hold, her eyes wide open as she stared at the reaper's face to watch him sleep. Actually trying wasn't high on her priority but no doubt before the night was over her body would give in and sleep would claim her if only for a few short moments before the nightmares settled in.

When Mitsu finally drifted off into the land of dreams her troubled mind gave her nothing but nightmares to contend with. Her sleep was restless, her body constantly shifting as she whined in her sleep. A pet her, a cuddle, or an embrace calmed her a little here and there but often the dream would take hold again and she was back where she started.

It seemed anything went. Her mind replayed the events that had happened down to the letter. The horrible death, blood spraying everywhere, her sitting there useless and unable to stand up for what she thought was right. Israfel stood behind her telling her that she was wrong, that she was useless and weak for not seeing the truth. Blinded.

Mitsu blinked to clear away the tears but when she looked down at Stacey his body had been replaced with another and instead of the Hunter Shun laid in his place his neck slashed open and his life blood pooling on the ground at her knees. A pair of hands rested on her shoulders.

"Don't worry, it was for the best~" Those words echoed as the horror of the scene gripped her and Mitsu's shaky hands reached out toward Shun hoping to wake him. He was just asleep, she kept telling herself. This wasn't real.

Like snow, bloody feathers of black and white rained down around them though Mitsu hardly took notice. Her tear stained eyes were focused on her reaper as she screamed for him to get up, to move, to do anything. She was finally reduced to sobbing when Shun's prone body showed any signs of life and his hands reached up to grip the lycan's arms with force. His one good eye focused on her.

"Mitsu, avenge me. Kill them. It's what I would do."

Mitsu awoke with a gasp, her arms clinging to whatever was close enough to be held. Tears filled her eyes but her crying was silent as she stared at the chest of the reaper who held her.

"I'm awake," Mitsu whispered, trying to ease her grip on the reaper. Reality was starting to settle in and the lycan pulled back enough to rub at her eyes like she was trying to rid them of sleep and not wiping away the tears.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked trying to force her dream out of her mind though somehow she was still reluctant to look up like the vicious smile might still be carved across Shun's neck.