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Jordan tensed when Clerise's hands descended on his shoulders, but when it became evident that this was not actually a renewal of the tickle attack, he relaxed, laughing. "God, the stuff they serve in the cafeteria is awful, isn't it?" he commiserated. "You should be able to get someone to alter a coffeepot for you so it'll work on the island's power. If you have trouble, text me and I'll come make puppy eyes at someone."

"Breakfast is okay most days," Jordan said. "Hard to screw up eggs and bacon. Was okay, anyway. God, I can't wait till the kitchen is fixed and we can stop eating stale donuts." He grimaced.

"Yeah, I wouldn't ask Robert to do that one," he agreed with a snort. "He's a good guy, but hell if I know why they put him in Life. Not exactly a scientist." He gave her a curious glance for the reference, not familiar with it.

"All this canned and packaged crap is almost enough to make me appreciate cafeteria food. Almost. At least it's fresh crap rather than preserved crap." Jordan chuckled. "I'm sure a couple of days of fresh crap will be enough to send me back to my usual opinion."

"Yeah, that sounds like Robert," he laughed. "Man, he and I haven't sparred in a while. I should text him. Or maybe just ambush him at the training grounds, that could be fun too." His grin was pure evil.

"Coma-tized?" he asked. "Oh, did you meet Raeg more personally than is generally recommended?"

"Oh, I see," he said. "We had a coffee pot in the dorm hall a couple of months ago, but it got murdered in the weirdness that happened around Christmas."

"I'm never going to be able to eat them again," Jordan grumbled. "Once in a while they were good, but every morning, not so much. I wonder if I can volunteer to help with repairs."

He snickered. "Okay, sounds good to me. Last time we sparred I knocked him over and gave him a noogie. It was great."

"Oh yeah, I wondered about that. Half the stuff on twitter is accidentally out of context. The other half's deliberately out of context," he laughed.

"Christmas was ... special. It's a bit hazy. Something got in the water, I think; everybody was suddenly fanatically obsessed with Christmas stuff, and towards the end of the month the island got invaded by Christmas creatures. I think. We never really did get a full explanation." He sighed. "I blame Julie, personally. She's usually the source of the weirdest stuff that happens around here."

"I only like lentils if there's lime in the sauce. Otherwise, you can have them." Jordan grinned amiably. "I guess I can amend the avoidance period on bagged pastries to until they don't make me want to throw them across the room."

He laughed. "Robert is serious and thoughtful from time to time. Then he picks you up and slings you over his shoulder, because Robert."

"Not kidding. Absolutely serious." Jordan raised his hand solemnly. "You'd be amazed at how much weird s**t you start regarding as normal after a while. Christmas was more weird s**t than usual, though."

" ... well, if Julie's running it, not so much," he admitted. "But if it's someone sane, I'd be happy to pitch in."

Jordan pointed a finger at Clerise. "Have you never tried fusion cuisine? Don't knock it till you've tried it. ... Yeah, they're really not aerodynamically sound. Too much resistance to fly straight unless you really huck them."

"If you spend any amount of time around him, you'll find that the phrase because Robert starts making scary amounts of sense." He grinned. "I'm the brains, he's the brawn."

He stroked Ferros's ring with his thumb, feeling the dragon stir from his half-napping state, peer drowsily around to make sure everything was still fine, and then resettle, grumbling like an old man. "Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it if I'd been told beforehand that I was going to have frequent fights with the equivalent of live ammo and enjoy it. Heh."

Jordan considered that. "Guess that's as good a description as any. No, actually, it's cooking that takes flavors and recipes from different cultures and mixes them together. Pretty good most of the time."

"Can't argue that," he admitted. "But I think I should be insulted that you don't believe me on the brains thing. You want a seven-page essay or something?" He laughed.

"Yeah, I never expected to have a voice in my head and still consider myself sane," he agreed.

"Hey," Jordan protested. "You're taking that out of context. It was in comparison to Robert." He grinned. "We are a formidable force when it comes to dirty jokes and noogies."

"I quit waiting to wake up from it after a couple of months," he admitted. "If it was some kind of long-term hallucinogenic experience, well, I'd still take it over being normal."