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 Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:05 am
 Ulineun dangsindo modu gabogo sip-eoyo. Ulineun eonje god bangmun-eul juseon haeyahabnida. [/snuggles]
Okay~ Bye you two! Sleep well Jack-san!
Radio, you should go to bed soon too. I'm going to wander round the internet, so message me if you'd like to talk.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:48 pm
 Look! I have icons too!
I really like icons... icons are delicious?????
Anyway... wow you guys were busy while I was at work! I mean cereal-ously...(that one's for you IQ-chan!) rofl God, I'm so punny...
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 6:21 pm
Demon Blood Symphony @ Scion - I've been readin Bad Apple and let me just say this first, I'm a jerk and extremely blunt. So don't take my words to roughly. You're not bad at writing, but it's a little broken and hard to understand at times. Your spelling and grammar are fine, but your sentence structure can sometimes leave something to be desired. You don't exactly develop your own character and rely on multiple characters to define the story. In private role plays often times it's best to figure out how to work with one or two characters. That and in my own mind, first person is not the best for role playing. A novel possibly, but in role plays it can be...difficult to follow.  Creative criticism is always appreciated, and sometimes sugar coating things just makes it hard to get your point across. While I have done forum role plays before, it has been a good four or five years since I was involved in my last one. During that time I have been involved with live action role plays and chat based ones. (( If you want to see some of my old characters take a look at these: Amber Kreig and Holly Hammerfall )) I was already thinking of going over the background of my character while he is passed out, so hopefully I can relieve some of the confusion about him. When it comes to your concerns about my sentence structure and word usage I will be trying to improve on it. I will admit that I will often work an idea out in my head, put it onto a Word doc, then work in my alterations. As a writer to a reader, if you could look through my posts and find the words that I could use finding alternate words for that would give me a place to start.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:40 am
 @ Scion - Uhuh, yes well I believe if you're worried about people stepping on your toes wear steal toed boots. But, either way. I didn't exactly mean defining your character more. Actually if you dive too far into the character's backstory too soon, you'll lose the interest of your readers in a flat seccond.
Let me give you some pointers on Role Playing. You have to think of it like a cooperative novel. Your building a book with someone else. So it's best to think of the books you like to read, think about how they write and how the characters come into play. If you've ever read the Dresden series that's an excellent example. In Storm Front you don't automatically learn everything there is to know about Harry. You discover things slowly and accurately. You want the role play to last a good while, unless you and IQ are making this a short term RP.
What I meant by "You don't exactly develop your own character" is that he's kinda just there. I mean yes he's tied up and yes he was knocked out, but. You should try to describe more things around him. More of his feelings. His worries and such. It's hard to keep an RP moving when people are just -THERE-. See IQ is a bit at fault with this too, she likes to keep the story moving. But, she also likes to give her RP partner a chance to continue the story in their direction. This is probably because most of the people she's found are lazy and wind up forcing her to do all the story advancements. But, I'm off subject.
Now here's the thing, I'm not going to point out words. Mostly because I'd have such a long list it wouldn't be funny. When it comes to vocabulary you simply have to keep your mind open to alternate words. Sometimes the wording in a sentence can make all the difference. Here's an example.
"I carefully watched as the dark man stood in the shadows."
"I cautiously observed as the suspiciously shadowy figure lurked within the darkness."
See the difference?
@ Shofish - Yes we have a tendency to just explode into conversation. Though I would like to comment, that I am much enjoying Guilty Hate. Aru is one rather misfortunate man. Though both characters are...easy on the eyes. Heh. Also, did you just say Cereal-ously?
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:55 am
 Wow, Jack-san you sound so cool. Shio-chan is impressed.
Ah! Hi Shofish! It's so great to meet you. IQ's told Shio-chan lots about you. I love your deviant art! Your icon is Nanako! Uwah~ So Kawaii!
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:09 am
 Damn you all for getting us started on the icons again. I mean seriously. Oh well, I don't have much say in the matter. I should have known this would happen.
@ Shofish - And if you put them in the ground it'll grow an icon tree?
@ Jack - Speaking of steel toed boots. How's your leg doing? Did they finally get it all fixed up? Zirinia was telling me about it.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:11 am
@ Shio-chan - Eh, Thanks I guess. I don't think it sounds all that cool, I'm just talking after all.
@ Prince - Ugh, yeah they finally got it fixed. I'm still in a wheelchair for now. Ziri's been a real big help lately. Though it just reminds me why I hate leaving my house.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:13 am
@ Jack - Well I'm glad it got fixed. But, don't you dare go all hermit on us again. You gotta get the fresh air. I know life sucks, but you're seriously young still. I mean come on~.
On that topic, is the dude in jail? Or did he get out?
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:16 am
@ Prince - Yeah, Yeah. I know, I gotta live my life. Bleh, you sound just like Ziri. But no I don't think I'll go hermit. I might not like leaving my house. And my guardians like it even less. But I wont stay inside all the time. I have to get my mail somehow. I guess I could have nanny do that for me....Hm....
Oh hell yeah, he's in jail. Wont get out for awhile. Though once again my guardians have done a wonderful job of bribing people so there's no coverage. Just like last time. Not even a sentence in the paper.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:19 am
@ Jack - You know there's no way in hell Zirinia is going to let that happen. She'll drag your sorry a** out if she has too. And I'll fly there and help.
Well damn, I guess if there's one thing your parentals are good at. It's covering s**t up. Freaking rich bastards. I'm sorry but I really just wanna blow up their house. With a nuke.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:25 am
@ Prince - Yeesh, I know. But, what not and what ever. I'll help you with that bomb, the guardians deserve it. But you gotta wait two years. That way I can live on my own...basically. Well with Nanny of course. She nearly flipped out when I went to the hospital. I though she was gonna kill the doctor.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:28 am
Shio-chan will help too! Poor jack-san, but it's okay! You're feeling better and Zizi will help you too. Plus you have all of the guild to help you feel better too! [/huggles]
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:31 am
@ Jack - Holy F&^K! Why? I mean I've seen Nanny when she's mad. She scares me. O n O
@ Sho-chan - My god you are the most adorable thing! Jack has to feel better knowing that you're supporting her. -picks up and hugs- You're just so adorable!!!
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:05 am
N-nero-kun...[/giggles] Shio-chan's really happy to see you to. She likes your icon. Unnoh, but Shio-chan's not really sure if just because I'm supporting her she'll feel better. But Shio-chan's glad you think so. Um, and she's happy you think she's cute. [/snuggles]
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:07 pm
 @ Jack -- Heh. I hope you can bear with me and my grizzly puns. I swear that IQ started it!.... but if you want a reason why it stuck, check out THIS. Also, I'm sooooooooo glad you like Guilty Hate! Yes, Aru is a most unfortunate soul, but think of poor Caine! Aru actually started in a different role play, but Caine was created for tragedy. IQ complains that he gets upset at her because she created him only to "betray" his lover and stuff. We do plan to give the two characters a happier life in some other role play sometime.
@ Shio -- Hi! ~waves~ Yes, Nanako is cute isn't she. That particular pic is part of a comic which IQ and I may post to deviantart soon. Oh, and I posted a few new things too, so check it out and tell me what you think!
@ Prince -- YES! I'm so glad you got that. I have a bad tendency to make references and not care whether people get it or not. You should see me at work when I start jamming out to J-Pop and they all look at me weird. >////<
That should tide you guys over until the next page long discussion.... ROFL
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