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 Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:10 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:11 am
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:59 pm
It's a vampire. I'm biased. Let's clear that up.
OKAY.
On a whole, his personality is good-
but really one that is negative. The lack of any substantial positive traits make him come off as one sided/flat. Positive the one that comes out the most, but the others don't have an obvious good quality to them. Apathetic can be a virtue for some aspects of him, but how so? Its a small yet note worthy thing because this is a good profile. But it sort of feels like there is a little more that we can know.
Everything else is awesome opossum.
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:18 pm
Firstly, THANKYOUSOMUCHFORCRITTINME. ;U; I really appreciate it.
And I completely agree with you. I've actually been struggling to come up with good positives, mostly because I suppose he is a little one-sided. I made his profile with the intention of being vague, because my first quest thread was a gigantic mess of wordy fail. Buuuut it might be a leetul too vague. I'll start brainstorming again and list more positive traits/add onto what I already have so it feels more worked out.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:23 pm
If you want help let me know, (U have my AIM bby)~
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:23 am
Alright, I have added some positive traits, expanded a little on the others, and added a (very) brief history that gives off an idea of why Lou is how he is. I was tempted to add more, but since I actually want people to read it this will do for now. dramallama
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:54 am
ANOTHER BUMP FOR OL' LOU.
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:55 pm
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
WILL ALWAYS BUMP YOU!~
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:24 pm
Sexy Cocaine AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
WILL ALWAYS BUMP YOU!~ No crit But you get a smooch <3
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:37 pm
Chobi_Chocobo No crit But you get a smooch <3
I can deal with that.
<3333
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:50 pm
I AM BACK
with a vengeance
He's definitely a lot more balanced in terms of traits! My only thought is now he's got just... a LOT of traits. I think you can fit some together for easier transitions. See: no filter, lacking inhibitions, flirt, unconcerned with money, they all have the common line of 'thought' to them and can be fit into one to sort of solidify them. Like, his profile works, it does read into one cohesive character, but all the info is a bit overwhelming? That's sort of a neither here nor there and just an opinion.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:37 am
*A*
YAY MOAR VAMPS CRIT!
I've condensed the contents of his traits and bulked a lot of the bad ones together into one blurb.
Hopefully it makes for an easier read~
=u=
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:54 pm
It reads a lot easier to me having all his negative traits in one place. It might seem to some that 'oh well he's only got one negative trait' but each one of his virtues play into his negative behavior somehow, and the text does show various ways in which he's just a bad guy.
<3
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:14 am
I'm in your thread, critting your char.
Fear/Nat Ability - WHY DO I THINK THAT HIS FEAR WILL BE MORE INTERESTING AS A NAT ABILITY, AND VICE VERSA? XDD Then again, not all vampires will be able to hypnotize, I suppose... Unless you know. You make things up. :V You might want to pick up a fear mechanic to use! Saves you the trouble of doing it later~
Personality - Looks logical to me! Nothing seems particularly out of place~
I usually have a lot to say when doing crits, but I think that's all I have to say about Lou. You've rounded him up pretty well! xD Also, Lizzy waits to pat his hair. That is all.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:16 am
I DON'T KNOW WHY GAIA DIDN'T TELL ME YOU GUYS POSTED IN HERE OHGOD.
Anyways, thank you for the help, Vamps. *u* I'm glad that it flows a lot better now.
Drag, I kinda chose the FEAR out of a lack of a better idea, cause I didn't want to go too over the top or ridiculous, so I figured it'd be a good one to start out Y1. Maybe Y2 he can have hypnotize someone and have them beat the tar out of themselves. I dunno. <>: The Nat. Ability is there because it's one of the new options in the Undead Information thread (which is bitchin'), but I never thought about switching the two. Is it possible for me to do that?
Lou says Lizzy can pat him whenever she wants. Wherever she wants.
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