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 Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 5:23 pm
So intent at starring at the water and watching the ripples Chaos didn’t even notice Xi Lan slip outside. She blew out and made a stray hair waft up before it settled back into place. She watched the ripples for a while longer before she decided that watching the ripples wouldn’t do much to ease the mayhem roiling around in her mind. Why where things so confusing? She walked around in a small circle before finally heading over to the cherry blossom tree. She sat down below it and allowed her wings to slump. A small noise made her look over her shoulder to a small bug clinging to the bark of the tree. She smiled and allowed herself to listen to the sounds for a bit before she decided to unload her problems on the small insect. When she had been growing up amongst foxes so much older than herself it had become her habit to tell her problems to small things that didn’t really understand her anyway. It helped Chaos work through her issues without any real harm being done. “What is wrong with me? I like having Xi Lan here, and I want to show him this place. Yet I can’t focus on what to show him specifically. I feel like I want to curl up and rush about all at the same time.” Choas sighed. “I want him to like this place, and yet a part of me is afraid he won’t like my home. I keep thinking about him and even spending time trying to meditate doesn’t clear my mind as it should. Even now I can’t think through things enough to figure it all out. Am I ill? Surely that has to be it. If that’s the case I don’t want to expose Xi Lan to what ever it might be. He is important to me and I don’t want him to be hurt…” Choas shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t even know when it happened.. When did Xi Lan become so important to me?” She closed her eyes and looked upward. Slowly she opened her eyes expecting to see the comforting image of Cherry blossoms. Instead what she saw made her face pale. How long had Xi Lan been up there?
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 7:44 pm
Xi lan had seen Chaos at the pond for a brief few seconds before he tore his gaze away. Spying on her when she went out to go get some air wasn’t very polite and Xi lan was often nothing but polite. So he drifted his gaze up towards the sky. He was very much a dinural fox which any of his friends would have found funny considering the clan he came from had been mostly nocturnal. As a kid he would grow up and wonder why everyone tended to sleep during the day. He always liked the day it was much more bright and happy. Then again Xi lan didn’t mind the night time too much either. One would begin to wonder just when he found time to sleep. As a kid he often went a day or two with out because he was running around and escaping with Kaname to go see Amatsu. He layed his head down on one of the branches and thought back to his current situation. Looking at the sky was fun and all but really he need to be thinking of how to help chaos. He wished he knew more on the situation but then he didn’t want to pry either. Ones thoughts were very private after all.
The next thing he knew was a voice talking to him. Hmm he must have fallen asleep. Hiding in trees actually tended to do that when it was so peaceful outside. Probably a tribute to the nocturnal side of him; hmmm the voice did kind of sound like chaos. However as he was still clinging to sleep he only caught a few parts of the conversation from what he gathered she dindt know he was in the tree and probably wanted her conversation with said tree private. Of course then he caught his name and he looked down listening. Oh he really needed to move. Why hadnt she noticed he was in the tree. After all he was dark colors they tended to stand out against the pale pink. A blush adorned his face and he flopped his ears down against his head using his paws to block out sound. This should help right. Well not really as a few words still managed to get through but it was better than before.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 5:57 pm
Starring at Xi Lan the blue phim was at a loss for words. The very fox she had been telling the little bug about was lying in the branches with his paws over his ears. Had he heard everything and now didn’t want to hear any more? What that what he was doing? And when had he gotten up there? Why was he even up there? She opened her mouth to ask him but sadly Chaos just couldn’t find her voice. Her body trembled and she felt herself shrink back a few steps from the tree with her tail between her legs. She was a fool! No worse than that she was a loudmouth inconsiderate fool! Her wings where tight against her body, Chaos didn’t even know if she could unwrap them and escape if she tried. She was simply too panicked. Tripping over her own tail Chaos landed on her rump with a soft thumping sound. She was still starring at Xi Lan. Her front paws slid down in the dirt until she was in a laying position at the base of the cherry tree. Surely Xi Lan had heard her in her folly and now would leave and want nothing more to do with her. She didn’t think she could blame him if he did.
After a few moments she finally managed to get a hold of herself, well mostly she was still rather embarrassed and horrified, but she knew she had to find out how much Xi Lan had heard and if he was angry with her or not. She cleared her throat loudly a few times before she began. “Xi Lan, Xi Lan. Excuse me. I did not realize you were up in the tree. I..” Chaos tried to think about how to explain herself. It came out in a bit of a rush, but for the most part was understandable. “I was trying to work my way through an issue and I find that talking aloud to something like a bug helps me do so.” Chaos put her head down thinking how idiotic she must sound and look as she pointed to where the little bug was on the tree trunk. She just wanted to burry her head into the dirt and hide. Still she ventured to peek up from under her mess of hair and up at Xi Lan. She doubted he could even see her eyes from behind her hair so it was doubtful he knew how close to tears she was.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:14 pm
XI lan finally looked up from trying to block chaos’s conversation to herself. Then he noticed there seemed to be a stretch of silence. Venturing a risk he opened his eyes to see that Chaos was staring up straight at him. So she had finally noticed that he was sitting in the tree had she. Of course she wished she hadn’t looked up. Then Xi lan’s heart dropped as he saw Chaos back away from the tree. He didn’t listen to her conversation, he didn’t. However it seemed apparently his actions were being taken the wrong way. The one thing he didn’t want to happen. The look on his friends face was crushing him. He hated to see that expression and to know that he was the one that caused it. Oh why had he gone into this tree? Sure he liked escaping into high places but ugh. Xi lan shook his head, no this wasn’t the time to be despairing as well. He had to fix this somehow, he had to make this better and clear up whatever she thought was going on. He wasn’t listening or perhaps it was she thought his reactions where towards the nature of her words. He watched as she tripped and sent herself into a sitting position. He kept his expression neutral and blinked a couple of times. What could he say? He needed to explain first.
“No it was my fault; I escaped up here to think. I like high places. If I knew you would come here to think yourself I would have found a different thinking spot I swear.” Xi lan apologized back. He would not allow her to take the fall for all of this mishap. After all he should have just stayed place after all it was her house. He didn’t have the right to be escaping to rather high places. “I take no fault in talking to bugs. I often do it myself. Its just good to get things off your chest when they start to weigh down. However I know how private your conversation was so the way you found me was because I was trying to block out your conversation so it would stay private. I mostly succeeded but I didn’t want to be eavesdropping.” Xi lan told her. He had failed in not being able to speak first but he could still try to right the misunderstanding. His heart lurched again when he realized she seemed close to crying from the sound of her voice. There was a slight tremor to it as one would have when they were close to breaking down.
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:19 pm
“Oh no, you cannot be expected to know where I go to clear my head. You don’t live here after all. The fault is mine. I thought you were still inside and I was not thinking to look up.” Chaos blinked and sniffled. Xi Lan talked to bugs as well. He didn’t think her strange for it? He didn’t mock her or call her foolish? She gulped when he explained why he had covered his ears. He had been trying to be polite.. That was so sweet of him. A blush crept over her and she was glad her hair hid her face. If Xi Lan knew how close to tears she was she felt like she might die. Another sniffle escaped her. She stayed quite, but her muscles didn’t seem as tense. A hiccup made her start in surprise. She felt even more embarrassed with herself. Here Xi Lan was being sweet and kind and once more she had not only stuffed her tail into her mouth, but she felt like she had put her hind legs in too! “I’m sorry.. I had thought that you might have heard what I was saying and perhaps...” perhaps what? Chaos wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. She was nearly positive that she must be sick for some reason. She couldn’t think straight around Xi Lan and surely that was a bad thing. “I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me, I don’t know why, but I found this theory. Unappealing.” She kept laying where she was and lowered her eyes down so that if Xi Lan chose to leave she wouldn’t have to see it..
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:33 pm
“Well I had finished the rice balls and I figured you would still be where ever you went too” Xi lan explained, still trying to take the blame onto his self. However perhaps it was a blunder on both their parts. He slowly slid down from the tree carefully watching Chaos. Hopefully he had been able to clear things up so she wasn’t close to crying now. Xi lan purposefully took interest in a butterfly pretending not to notice Chaos hiccupping, no doubt from nearly crying and waited until what would only be a flash of embarrassment when through her. Then she just had to mention the whole hearing part and he took even more interest in the butterfly before finally turning his attention back towards her. Oh dear he had been around his male friends for way too long. He should be good at being there for his friends. After all that was his role in life, oh was he out of practice.
“Why would I not want to be around you?” Xi lan asked. “You’d have to have like three heads and spew acid first and even then I might still be here” Xi lan chuckled. “Believe me I’ve gotten into way weirder situations with my guy friends” he replied and then the rest of the sentence registered and he acted like a fish for a few seconds. So if he was reading the signs correctly Chaos seemed to be in the middle of a crush, most likely towards him. Considering what limited contact she seemed to have with normal society she herself didn’t know it. Would he have to explain it to her, and then what if he was wrong? Hell, what if Xi lan was right? What in the world did he feel about this whole thing.
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:16 pm
Hearing the voice of one of the old phims who helped raise her Chaos had a good idea of what a scolding would sound like for leaving a guest all alone in a room to bore themselves to sleep. She watched Xi Lan climb down the tree, or rather he slid. For a moment Chaos wanted to get up and help him so that he wasn’t harmed by sliding down the tree. After all gliding or hoping down with one’s wings slightly spread might have been a safer way to get down. Still Xi Lan seemed unscathed so she needn’t worry about it right? He was busy looking at a butterfly and seemed to be studying it as she spoke to him. When he looked back at her finally she shivered.
His words made her giggle. The idea of her having three heads was silly enough but spitting acid? That was just beyond ridiculous. Still if he would even stay with all that. Well Chaos wasn’t even sure what to say about that. She was happy to hear it, but at the same time nervous. What if what she had really was a sickness and Xi Lan got it because he was too nice to leave her? That thought sobered her up quickly.
Her eyes widened at the thought of Xi Lan walking into a weirder situation. What kind of incident had he seen with his friends? Chaos hopped it was nothing bad or incriminating. Still no matter what she had to let him know what was wrong with her. Even if he said such nice things he might change his mind, and he had every right too. “Well you might not want to be around me because I seem to be experiencing some odd symptoms. I don’t want you getting ill..” The concern for Xi Lan was evident in her tone even her body language was still that of a prone scared fox.
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:55 pm
Xi lan visibly relaxed when Chaos started giggling. It was probably a good sign that things where calming down. He hated, absolutely hated causing unnecessary strife with his friends. Sure he didn’t know Chaos as well as Amatsu, or Kaname, or Morin however she was still a good friend. Hmm maybe it would have been a better idea to spend more time with his older brother when Meris went to visit Arcana; maybe he would be better at dealing with girls. As soon as the thought entered Xi Lan’s head he knew it to be false, after all he had no problems talking with and understanding Hiyoko, sure she was a bit of a tom boy but at the same time Hiyoko had a lot of girly feelings as well.
Oh modeities he needed some human to come by the shrine right now and shoot him with one of those fire sticks. He looked at Chaos and then blushed a bit turning towards the side. Why oh why couldn’t chaos be like the normal girls and know what in the world was wrong with her. Why couldn’t some one else be here to explain it to her. Then again Xi Lan mused that wouldn’t make Chaos very chaos (as in her name) like.
“Y-You see…. You aren’t sick per say” Xi lan began. Perhaps he was just reading the whole situation wrong but she seemed to be very worried about the whole thing. He should explain it the best he could and if he was wrong well then she could contradict him. Perhaps it would settle some of the rebellious butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. “what you describe is normally what some one feels when they like some one. They get nervous and find themselves thinking about what the other fox is thinking, and what they think about you, and what you do. It makes you feel a bit uncomfortable at least until you realize you have a crush and then you just find your self getting embarrassed, although still a bit flustered. Of course… I could be wrong, but I really don’t think your sick in the way you believe.”
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:26 pm
Chaos’s ears perked up when Xi Lan said she wasn’t sick. She looked up at him and saw his relaxed posture. So he knew what was wrong with her? When he started on his explanation Chaos listened carefully. Xi Lan thought she was … in love with him? That’s what a crush was right? She was fairly sure this was the case. She’d heard that phrase when a fox was bespotten with another. But that couldn’t be right she didn’t know Xi Lan all that well and she certainly didn’t think about him all the time. Sure she wondered what he was doing from time to time. Certainly when she saw him she was thrilled enough.. and she did bring him to her home where she had never brought any other fox.. and she did want to show off all of her home to him. Besides who wouldn’t wonder what a guest thought of their home?
Blinking she stopped such thoughts with a disturbed revelation. There was good possibility that Xi Lan was right. She had heard the old phims that raised her speak of love, though when they spoke of it, which was rare, they made it sound more reasonable. A family would take a suitable female and send her off to go live her mate to be. That was that. Love would flourish or it wouldn’t. Of course with no family Choas really would never be mated, but to have love flourish when she wasn’t mated? Choas’s heart plummeted. She didn’t know liking another fox could be so confusing.
Still looking up at Xi Lan she didn’t have the body position of being terrified as much. She was now confused. “So if that is the issue.. how do I know for certain. If it is what do I do?” She didn’t want to cause trouble for Xi Lan, she knew she had no dowry to add to his family, and her family would never send her to any family much less Xi Lans’ since well Chaos had no parents.
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:18 pm
“You see there are different types of crushes I guess and depending on the type you act differently I guess.” Xi lan pondered out loud. “I have to admit when it comes to feelings I’m not really too good at explaining, I know what I feel and some times I can pretty well guess what others are feeling but when it comes to explaining…..actually any other person could probably give you a better answer. After all I’m just the guy next door type” Xi lan smiled weakly and then figured she probably didn’t know what that meant either. As she sat there blinking he wondered if speaking up was the right thing. Perhaps he was reading things wrong. It did happen after all, he wasn’t a modeity. However he knew she wasn’t sick with a virus or anything like that. Maybe he should have kept quite and just said no, she wasn’t sick. Then again what happened had happened… again.
Maybe there was a better way to explain what he meant, had he ever really cared for some one. Well that was silly. He was very close with Amatsu, and Morin and Kaname. There was another phim named Nanashi who was very close to him. Perhaps if Nanashi hadn’t have met Ash some thing could have developed. Hiyoko liked him and was a bit depressed when he said he was interested in some one else. In truth he hadn’t been but he knew he only wanted to mate with a phim, not that he was a purist or anything like that, just watching the hardship his parents had gone through had turned him off other types of modifoxes. Perhaps a normal would have been okay, only producing a phim offspring was so unlikely. He knew that Kaname was disappointed he couldn’t teach any of his children to fly. He couldn’t bond with them when it came to flying. Ugh this was definitely not looking promising. Xi lan raised up a paw to rub his eyes. Was there truly no one he had ever had delusions about maybe ending up…. ah that would be a yes.
By shear domination of will he managed to keep his whole persona from turning tomato red and kept smiling calmly. “Well I’m not sure how you tell; I think its something you have to find out for yourself. See if you care enough for the fox to be around them, to maybe entertain the thought of ending up with them. Most of the time you date foxes to see if they can grow to be important enough to risk your life for, to see if you could handle staying with them forever. If it is… well you see if there is a chance the other might think the same thing and you take a shot at it I guess.” Xi lan stated, although chaos had done things a bit backwards. Taking a shot at it and then developing a crush. However he was pretty sure her mate statement was more a passing way to not make him feel like an old maid.
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:28 pm
At the phrase ‘guy next door type’ Choase looked baffled. She was uncertain not only what that meant but it could imply as well. Did it mean that Xi Lan never picked the first opportunity available to him and thus picked the ‘next door’ to open? Ah emotions were confusing enough but they also had to be subdivided into ‘types’ for foxes as well? No wonder the phims that raised Chaos never spoke much of love or such things. It was all to strange to comprehend. Choas watched Xi Lan rub his eyes with sympathy. If such things were tedium to explain to even him then it must be a truly knotted subject indeed.
Chaos looked up at him. “Ah I see.. I think. I remember speaking to be your mate if you never found one, though it seemed much to be farfetched thought since I have no family to wed me off too anyone.” She managed a weak smile. “If what you say is true then I’ve made a fool of myself falling for one I’m not paired to.” Xi Lan made it sound like anyone who had such feelings might just randomly attach themselves to one another and if it did not work out simply part ways. Surely that wasn’t the case. It would be so nice if parting from a relationship that was not flourishing were so easy. Choas thought that if a partnership did not work out the female would be closed off in a section of the male’s clan and taken care of, but left alone never the less. All alone.
(and she totally missed the point that what she thinks can't happen is exactly what happens..… gah!!!!! Also short post. Well short for this RP…)
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:18 pm
Yep Xi lan would have to say his assumption about the guy next door and Chaos having absolutely no clue on what he was saying was correct if the baffled look on her face was anything to go by. “I think I better do some explaining about the phrase I just used. The guy next door, is like a guy your close to as a friend, that’s always there to support you and for you to lean on, however he never ever ends up as some one you really think of romantically because you never think to look at him that way, that way being romantically. You just know he’s there and try to go off for more challenging things.” Xi lan explained hoping that would clear things up a bit. He should just take her to Kaname and Morin, they both had mates right? So they could explain the whole process better than him.
Xi lan’s face scrunched up in a frown. Where exactly did Chaos come from? He didn’t really care too much about the answer before, and he didn’t really mind even now but they should at least have more decent mating traditions. “Well where I come from you don’t need a family to wed you off. If you generally care for the individual and decide you want to become mates you move in together, and I’m guessing other stuff. Sure if you have a family its nice to go tell them they have a new addition but a lot of modifoxes don’t really have a family. Plus you have free reign to fall in love with who ever you want. I’m not sure what you mean by pairing but out here it doesn’t matter at all. All of my friends have fallen in love, some of them a couple of times and they weren’t paired off with any one. When the relationship broke apart they either remained friends or after mending their broken hearts they moved on. It’s hardly foolish at all Chaos” Xi lan smiled.
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:48 pm
Still very confused Choas listened to Xi Lan with growing fascination. Not only had he clarified that females thought of him only a friend which seemed strange to her since he was clearly a very handsome fox, but also that the way she grew up was not something abided by or in the least way followed. He even laughed not in scoffing at her but with general mirth. It made her smile and even manage to conjure up a giggle of her own. “It always seemed foolish to me that the elder phims I was raised with explained things to me that way; however I never had another view to compare it with until now.” Her heart felt lighter knowing that she wasn’t being stupid or foolish. She had just developed a crush, which wasn’t a bad thing at all apparently.
Still there was the nagging question of what to do about it. While she did like, and now she had a better idea what kind of like, Xi Lan she didn’t think he was ready for such a realationship or else he would be in on. Regarudless if most others thought he was the ‘guy next door’ type, she was certain that there were a number of vixens that would through themselves at Xi Lan’s paws if he only smiled at them. She knew she felt like it. Shaking her head slightly she tried to clear her thoughts. “Perhaps if I can coax you out of the tree I might show you the reflection pond? It is good for thought and meditation on most things.” She would have not felt the urge to at the most had it not been her earlier failure to calm down before. Still when she had been there before she had thought herself unwell.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:25 pm
Speaking of which, he wondered when he ever got a family and some how he had a sneaking suspicion it would probably have something to do with the girl in front of him. After all she was different from other phims. Well that was a bit obvious in the sense that weird monk type phims must have raised her but she was also different in other senses as well. He felt close with Chaos, a good sense of close. Meris, in one of his rare forms of brotherly affection had told him once that when it came time to mate one should go for a fox that made you blush in the ‘oh my god am I attracted since’ and they should also be your best friend. Oh and the whole if you could see your self ending up with them. Xi lan knew he shared at least some level with that with the girl in front of him. Was he ready to go forward? Probably not in the since even though he knew she had a crush on him it was her first time having a crush, and his first time liking the crush recipient in maybe the same way. He wanted to make sure both of them didn’t run head first to anything and maybe for Chaos to see what type her crush was and if she wanted to do anything about it. None the less he should introduce her to Meris one day. If only to see the look of annoyance on his face, ah he so loved teasing his elder brother.
“Well everyone has their own traditions I suppose, only it’s always good to experience other points of view as well. Then you can pick the ones that seem the most right to you.” Xi lan smiled. “I’m glad I could help with giving you another view even though I’m not to knowledgeable on the subject.” Hmmm he wasn’t too much of a meditation fox, although he did like several of things Japanese in nature. Mostly he meditated by making tea. An art he had picked up watching various humans, they just seemed so peaceful drinking it that he had gone out and tried it himself. It took a lot of sneaking and spying and failures but he had eventually created some what of a modiphim version of the stuff. Of course he needed to often be around human settlements to borrow their fire. Of course the occasional nice daeva worked as well. “alright I wouldn’t mind seeing it” he replied sliding the rest of the way down the tree.
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:37 am
Chaos watched the way Xi Lan slid down out of the tree. It left small gouges in the bark of the tree. He looked very sleek as he came down. She waited until he was on the ground before heading toward the reflection pond. One of the fish slid across the top of the pond in a graceful manner. She gestured to the water. “This is where I often come to think about things.” She hopped over one of the flat stones that were barely above the water’s surface. Soon enough she was in the center of the pond on a large protruding rock she had to turn carefully since she could only have two paws on the rock’s surface at a time. Her wings were partially extended for balance and he hair of course slid in the way and covered her face. When she finally finished turning so that she could face Xi Lan she shifted her weight so that she could sit on the rock with only her hind paws and used her front paws to get her hair out of her face. Her eyes she kept shut not really wanting to see if Xi Lan was looking at her how he might view a crazy fox. After all simply because this was how she learned to meditate did not mean it was a way in which he was familiar with. “This is where I’m usually first thing in the morning before the sun rises until just after all the other little animals wake up. I find it relaxing to feel the world wake up. ” She risked a peek at Xi Lan wondering how he viewed the whole situation.
Her tail was half curled about her garments hem and she was balanced solely on her hind paws. Her wings while opened were bent at the tips while her front paws remained close to her chest for the sake of balance. All in all any human who passed by tended to think of her as a strange sculpture that someone had placed over the pond representing some bizarre mix of an angel and an animal. A few humans that actually ascended the stairs every so often first thing in the morning might have stopped to stare or used a strange sort of flashing box, but Choas never really let the humans distract her enough to break her meditation. Humans and other possible distractions were never really registered with her until long after her meditation had ended.
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