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Kirin hummed and titled his head, considering. "Should I have gone with studmuffin?" he considered. That sounded a little too butch, though, even if Jada wanted to be the 'man' of this fake lesbian relationship. The snicker Kirin let out had nothing to do with nicknames this time, rather the result of the thought, 'If only she knew...' There was a man in this lesbian facade, after all, and it wasn't Jada.

The more Kirin heard about Szelem, the less he liked her. Sounded like a real opinionated b***h, riding roughshod over her kids. Not at all the kind of mother Kirin was familiar with, which made him feel a tiny bit bad for Jada for not being able to have an awesome mother.

"I'd say to tell her that you're a lesbian, but I bet she's one of those people who'd tell you it was a phase and to get over it. Or the ever popular 'have you tried being straight?' " Or the woman just wouldn't care, and demand that Jada pop out babies no matter her orientation. Lie back and think of the company, or something. "Geez, your mom would have made a great king back in medival times, wouldn't she?"

He huffed a laugh at the mention of getting a 'next' lesbian girlfriend. Hopefully he wouldn't ever end up in a situation with more bullies again, though he had to admit this was the most entertaining lunch he'd had in a long time. Oblingly fluttering his lashes at Jada, Kirin leaned across the table. He peered up from beneath long, heavy lashes and breathed, "Oh tigerkins, you know you only had to ask."

Kirin was a consummate actor, after all.

Growing up in an easy-going household of two, Kirin was used to meals that involved stealing from one another's plates. He saw nothing wrong with Jada going back for more of his salad, certainly not placing it as 'payback' for his laughter. He instead just made a mental note that studmuffin was another failed nickname. Ah well, he'd keep searching.

He gave a considering hum as Jada explained about not wanting to offend anyone. Everyone was so politically correct these days. Kirin didn't bother, but then, he clearly saw nothing wrong with deceiving others on a daily basis, either. Perhaps not the best moral compass to take advice from. "Chances are she'd find you a gay man and neither of you would be interested in making a baby," he snickered, spearing some more of his own salad in case Jada kept coming back for more. "Spares you the unwanted sex life, though not the unwanted dating or engagement."

One eyebrow rose as Szelem was compared to Henry the Eighth, complete with beheading. Kirin was guessing that there was either a very unhappy marriage or a very messy divorce behind that bitter statement.

He allowed himself a tiny smirk as Jada flushed, and the bullies hooted. "Our plan's going well," he whispered. "Good thing you can blush on command like that. Now that's impressive, honeybear." Another fluttering of his lashes accompanied the endearment.

"If your mother likes gossip, that might be enough to keep her going for a while," Kirin snickered at Jada's 'plan'. And if Szelem didn't like her family to be the subject of gossip, maybe the resulting heart attack would keep her quiet for a while. ...No, Kirin shouldn't think that, even as a joke. He didn't want Jada to receive that call, or have to hold that bedside vigil.

The next step in their little game was enough to distract Kirin from such maudlin thoughts. "I'm sorry, lionheart, I'll do better next time, I promise," Kirin crooned, tilting his chin up to expose his vulnerable neck at he leaned further across the table. Lips shiny with pink gloss parted, the tip of a tongue visible as Kirin obediently said, "Aaaaah."

At least one of their 'friends' fell out of their seat as they stretched to get a better look at the girls. Kirin howled with laughter - in his head. In reality, he stayed posed, waiting for his piece of calamari.

Everything was going fine - and most importantly, to plan - as Jada fed a piece of her calamari to Kirin. Then there was a sudden deviation. Kirin, who had grown used to the flirtatious words and mock-loving glances and oh god the ridiculous nicknames, had thought that their positions on opposite sides of a table had him safe from the mode of flirting he was less comfortable with - touch.

He froze as Jada wiped a crumb off his lip. His eyes were impossibly wide and mouth gaped as Jada withdrew the offending digit. With effort, Kirin managed to swallow and was opening his mouth to complain when Jada stick the finger in her own mouth. Words failed him again.

Kirin slammed back into his chair, arms crossing across his chest. He very pointedly looked out the window. Which sadly did nothing to hide the red flush on his face. Flustered, he asked, "Was that really necessary, tiger toes?"

It was good calamari, though. He took Jada up on her offer, by stealing his fork back and grabbing another piece off her plate for himself. He shot her a scowl, less effective than usual due to the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks that was taking its time to die away.

"Uh, no, it's," Kirin floundered for an answer. It wasn't like he could really explain why he didn't like much touching, because he didn't want people to think they were his close emotional friends, or all the reasons behind not wanting people close. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of it nose. "Nothing. It's nothing. Just me and my problems."

The delivery of their main course was a nice distraction. Kirin was alternating between kicking himself for reacting like that, and still being rather embarrased over the incident. When he glanced over at Jada, it was to see she wasn't taking Kirin's own reaction very well, either.

Kirin's glare disappeared, replaced with happy appreciation for his food. "Mmmm, good choice," he congratulated Jada. His eyebrow flickered upwards as he continued eating. "There are points now? Do I want to know the score, hunnypie?"

Well, Kirin couldn't be that upset if he was continuing with the nicknames.

It was clear to see that Jada wasn't buying Kirin's brush off. He didn't blame her, he wasn't going to fool anyone with that. But Jada didn't press, and Kirin was relieved. It was nice to meet someone who actually possessed manners and din't believe everything was their business.

"It's a very nice place," he said. The decor wasn't trying too hard. The food was exquisite. Now if only they were more picky about who they let in... He glanced over to their 'friends' out of the corner of his eye to see if they'd been kicked out yet. "Did someone recommend it to you? I can see why they would."

Kirin's lips quirked as their nicknames slowly became more banal. It seemed that they were both running out of steam. "Try me, sugarbuns. I can handle a whole lot." He shot Jada a droll glance. From the sound of it, he suspected some unfair tallying was going on. "Though I may demand a recount if I think the judge is biased."

It was definitely shaping up to be one of the most amusing days Kirin had had in a long time. Which was something he sorely needed after the run of bad luck he'd been having lately - doppelgangers and nearly-stolen-starseeds and almost every Nega-twit he came across being one or two levels above him. It hadn't been his week. Or month. Or even his year. But-

No. He quickly forced that annoying tune out of his head before it lodged there for days to come. Anyway, for a day that had started out so badly, Jada was doing a bang-up job of lowering his stress levels. She was a funny girl - not at all what he would have expected of a high society heiress.

He listened with his chin propped back up on one hand as she rated and tallied up their 'points' for the nicknames. "I hadn't realised it was a competition," he said, bemused but smiling nonetheless. "Though if there's a grading curve, I'd like to point out that it's much harder to come up with masculine names for an attractive girl." Most normal girls got to call their boyfriends by embarrasingly cute names, too. To not let Kirin use even those had him at a distinct disadvantage.

"Ah well," he sighed. It was just a game, after all, and Jada looked quite happy with herself. It wasn't like she was beating Kirin in something important, like karaoke. "Your win, indeed."

And just to remind her of how close it should have been, Kirin fluttered his eyelashes again, glancing up demurely from underneath them. "You mean these?" he pointed to his 'flirty eyes'. "Haha, practice, I suppose. And it helps to be shorter than just about everyone else in the world, so looking up at them through my lashes is normal practice."

It also helped that the flirty eyes were a legitmate way of getting what he wanted. Otherwise Kirin couldn't say it was a skill he would have developed. As it was, they got almost no use these days, just a left over from the realisation that even after puberty hit, he was always going to be a 'pretty' boy - and best to take adantage of that fact.