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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:17 pm
Talking to Luke was like looking inside Lucas's head, gaining insight and information he wouldn't or couldn't share of his own accord. She nodded at his description, but couldn't remember anyone of that description. "I don't think I ever met her," she admitted with a small frown, "but I've noticed that protectiveness in him." That would likely explain why he wanted to kill her ex. "When you spoke to her, I'm going to guess she was.." She didn't want to say 'scared' but perhaps she was - even though she herself didn't think Luke was scary. "Surprised, I guess," she said with a shrug. "Was that before or after she and Lucas broke up?" That had been bugging her and she was certain Liselle suddenly leaving had greatly upset Lucas.
"Really? Huh." Well, it wasn't every day you met someone who was blind in one eye and would talk to you about depth perception in relation to the injury. "But I guess if the loss of depth perception isn't too bad, it doesn't sound like a big issue."
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:24 pm
"Surprised? Something like that. I think it would be more accurate to say she hated me. Called me a monster, tried to speak to Lucas about me even though I asked her not to." His tone was one of mild disdain. He considered the timing of their conversation against Liselle's split from Lucas, and a small realization clicked into place. His eyes grew slightly wider, his complexion slightly paler. "...Was that my fault?" The falling out that had paralyzed Lucas, that continued to grieve him years and years later, had Luke wrought it with his own hands...?
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:34 pm
Well, that seemed like a likely response, and the pieces of the puzzle were fitting together better now. And... oh. Oh crap. Double crap. That was probably the biggest reaction she'd ever seen from Luke, and it was her fault. Craaaappp.... Why did she have to open her mouth? ...crap. And now what could she say to that?
"Crap," was her initial response, biting her lower lip and now feeling incredibly guilty. Why did she have to ask..? "I'm sorry.. I didn't..." Crap! What was she thinking? Obviously she wasn't thinking ahead, that was for sure. Of course Luke would be aware of how badly the break up affected him, how awful Lucas felt when he couldn't even talk about it still, and now she had basically made him realize it was his fault. ...crap.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:45 pm
"No, that's..." It was a bit much for such a sudden realization, and a distinct and terrible guilt was eating into him. "It was my fault. I see. I should have understood that from the beginning. I should have... avoided it, somehow." It was a mistake, and an awful one at that. The gravity of it all began to sink in, and he lay his head against his palm. Everything that Lucas most regretted in his life stemmed from that single event in a series of chain reactions, forcing him to retreat further and further from sincerity. "I ruined his life, didn't I?" The irony was sickening.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:52 pm
Crap crap crapcrapcrapcrap. Crap. Crap. Well, that did it. She totally blew it. Why, oh why was she stupid enough to say that? Crap..
"No, Luke, I.. you were trying to do what you've been doing all this time, to protect him. I don't see how it could have been avoided," as grievous as it was, how badly it had affected Lucas... Crap, she really blew it. Arceus..
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:13 pm
As far as protecting was concerned, that was essentially a bum job. "...It's fine. I can't change what's been done." He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn it all, why had he made such a horrible mistake? "I should... I should write something," he muttered, rising to his feet and proceeding to the nearby desk. He thumbed through the various papers and located a blank sheet, holding a pen over its surface with a wavering resolve. What could he possibly write that would excuse this error?
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:21 pm
The young woman felt completely deflated. Well crap, way to go Claire - you just made him feel like a totally useless waste of space and time. Crap.
With a sigh she rose to her feet as well, running all ten fingers over her temples and through her hair, her brows knitted together. Why did she have to go and... bah. Like he said, nobody could change what had been done, and she couldn't take back what she'd said. Maybe.. maybe something good would come of it.
Violet eyes wandered the room for a moment, trying to figure out what to do, when they settled on the chair. Better than nothing at all, she supposed... "..Lucas knows that too, and I think he's nervous.. no, I think he's afraid that he hurt her and doesn't remember it," she murmured gently, carefully picking the chair up and setting it down by the desk so he could sit down and write... something. He really looked like he needed to sit down.. Arceus, why had she said that? "Like you said, he idolizes women, I guess, and is protective.. I think not knowing if he hurt her or not is still hurting him." She had tried and failed to reassure him, failed with flying colors actually, but maybe Luke could figure something out.. He knew all the details, at any rate, so he had a better chance of figuring something out than she did.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:34 pm
He murmured a passing thanks as he seated himself, fixing an intent glare on the paper as he listened to Claire speak. The pen tip hovered just over the white sheet, its slight tremble betraying the anxiety beating at Luke's fingertips. He needed to write. But how was he supposed to phrase it? He turned towards his company suddenly and with an expression that seemed to suggest he was completely stranded.
"I need to apologize. To explain. How can I write this?" He spared a glance back in the direction of the paper as though it were some foreign creature skittering across the desk. Lucas wrote things all the time - words simply flowed from his mind to his hand and onto the page - but Luke floundered to find the words he needed.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:46 pm
She had looked away once he sat down, considering most people don't feel comfortable writing something with someone watching over their shoulder, so his sudden glance in her direction and desire for help surprised her. Her eyebrows rose and her mouth opened, then closed with a small frown. How should he write it..?
"W-well.." She assumed he wanted to explain and apologize for what happened to Liselle, but... "I.. I'm not sure," she admitted, biting her bottom lip as she knelt down on the floor next to him, sitting on her knees and fiddling with her fingers. She gazed back up at him, trying to help but the situation he wanted to preserve didn't seem to have any room for what he wanted to say. "You don't want him to know you existed, correct? I don't.. honestly Luke, I don't see how you can explain what happened, if.. if you still want to keep that a secret." Unless he wanted to make something up, of course, but she didn't think he had any desire to do that.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:11 pm
"...I see." He tapped the pen against the paper in what was otherwise silence for several moments. "What do you think would be worse for him? Thinking he hurt Liselle, or knowing he had an alter ego?" It was the question upon which the whole letter hinged, right down to whether or not he even wrote it. He had only a few hours at most to decide. He drew a deep breath in an attempt to settle himself. This was proving quite the stressful evening.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:27 pm
"Umm.." It was a hard question, posed by the one who essentially was in Lucas's head. That meant it was hard for him, too, and if he wasn't sure, then crap, how should she know? She drew a deep breath though, knitting her brows together as she considered both aloud. "Well, I think not being sure.. not knowing if he hurt Liselle or not hurts him a great deal. He could barely talk about it, and couldn't even tell me her real name. I don't know when it happened, but I'm pretty sure it still upsets him a lot to this day." She didn't think Lucas could ever even consider hitting a girl - he even flinched when she mentioned herself hitting a girl he didn't even know - not knowing if he hurt his own girlfriend probably was killing him inside on a daily basis, especially after it happened. "I think it must hurt him a lot.."
Another deep breath. "As for the other," she paused, biting her lower lip thoughtfully. "I think he'll be confused, and won't believe it at first.. Then I'm sure it will bother him, I think it would bother anyone to suddenly be told they had an alter ego for the past twenty or thirty years, but.. That would explain his lapses in memory, which I'm sure still bother him too, even if he might not like the explanation. And then he might wonder why or how it started in the first place, but.. I don't know if he'll get that particular memory back, and I don't know if you'd let him know what you do about it," she finished, the last part more of a question than a definite statement. She doubted he'd let Lucas know about Morrison's actual fate, too.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:43 pm
So it was a choice between allowing Lucas to believe he was guilty of the one thing he hated more than anything else in the world and taunting him with an explanation for his missing with memories without actually divulging those memories. A quiet yet unmistakable growl of sheer frustration rose within his throat, and he turned back to the paper, folding his arms on the desk and laying his head against them. "What have I done." His voice was muffled from the fabric of his sleeves. "The only reason I ever existed, the only reasoned I ever needed or wanted to exist, was to keep him from being hurt. And now this can't end without hurting him. What have I been doing for the past thirty years that it should end like this...?"
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:54 pm
Ugh, she felt terrible - it was her fault that he suddenly had this extra stress on him, and she felt awful for bringing it to him, especially when he'd be gone in the morning.
...that was an odd and scary feeling. He'd grown to be a friend to her, like Lucas, and to think he'd suddenly be gone was.. rather disconcerting, like he was about to die. But he wasn't - he'd still be inside Lucas (also disconcerting in an entirely different sense) and wouldn't really, completely vanish.
She reached up to put a hand on his shoulder gently, trying to reassure him or at least make him feel a bit better, not that there was much else she could do anyway. "..I think you should tell him," she said quietly, her tone gentle. "Not knowing about Liselle hurts him a lot, I think, and knowing this would bother him at first, but.. I'm fairly certain it won't be that upsetting, or at least not for very long. Knowing he didn't hurt Liselle will probably be a great relief to him." Beyond speaking, the only other movement was to gently rub his shoulder a bit. She didn't even fidget for once, despite the topic of conversation.
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:49 am
He took a long moment to consider her words before he replied, "Okay." He raised his head with a long sigh and took the pen back into his hand. A few more moments passed in consideration before he set the tip to the paper, writing in slow, deliberate strokes in an effort to avoid any mistakes in both spelling and phrasing. When he completed his task, he dredged up another sheet of paper and began to fold something akin to an envelope from it.
"...Could I entrust this to you?" He folded the letter to fit its makeshift sleeve, searching for a means to seal it shut. "I don't think he should read it right away, but I won't be able to regulate when he receives it myself." His expression was noticeably forlorn, but he felt at least some vague sense of relief that he would be able to do something to make up for the havoc he had caused.
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BlackFireKitsune Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:01 pm
When he started to write, she leaned back to sit down and lean against the side of the bed. He probably had a lot to write, anyway, or so she assumed - he couldn't exactly just explain bits and pieces, and saying 'Hello, my name is Luke and I'm your alter-ego' probably wasn't a good way to explain things either.
At some point during his writing she had inadvertently dozed off, her temple resting on the edge of the mattress with her arms folded over her lap, and sitting on her hip with her legs folded nearly beneath her. Then there was a rustle of papers again and her eyelids fluttered open, inhaling deeply as he started saying words. It took a moment or two for her brain to register what exactly those words were, and she reached up to rub her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Of course," she murmured, slightly embarrassed she'd fallen asleep. "If not right away, when should I give it to him?"
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