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Mazele

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:07 pm


Xaumeric
Mazele
((If I might make a small note to Urara's personality section, and this is just a nit-picking thing:

"...taking extreme pleasure through the suffering of others."

That's a sadist, not a masochist. If she would take unusual levels of pleasure from enduring suffering and tortures of varying kinds, THEN she would be a masochist. exclaim ))

(shes right, if your both your sado-masochist 3nodding )

((I think you missed the point. ))
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:02 pm


Mazele
Xaumeric
Mazele
((If I might make a small note to Urara's personality section, and this is just a nit-picking thing:

"...taking extreme pleasure through the suffering of others."

That's a sadist, not a masochist. If she would take unusual levels of pleasure from enduring suffering and tortures of varying kinds, THEN she would be a masochist. exclaim ))

(shes right, if your both your sado-masochist 3nodding )

((I think you missed the point. ))

(i didn't i got it just adding on if she wanted say she was both lol)

Xaumeric

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The Heart Seeker

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:44 am


Updated it, still some unfinished parts.

On note. It's rather complicated how she is really. She likes to make others suffer, but as her powers dictate, she also recieves the same pain that others are afflicted with, but instead, revels in such things by feeling off of the energy. On the point though, she both makes others suffer, and suffers herself, so she's both sadist and a masochist as she grows in pain too, and in terms of affliction, she causes that pain initially, thus does that make her a sadomasochist since it's indirectly self-afflicted?

The answer, meh. Whatever. I'll leave it more for the players to decide that kind of thing.
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:30 am




Heart, your character is approved thus far. Just make sure to let me know when her powers are up, in case I don't see it myself.

APPROVED


Lanfaer
Captain

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 2:39 pm


THE CHARACTER


User Image


Two Toned


~~~~~~~~~The Profile~~~~~~~~~


Full Name: Shimizu, Akahana
Nicknames: Two toned-I think it's kind of stupid, but whatever.
Age: 275, Appears no older than 24.
Gender: Female
Birthdate: August 29th
Rank: E
AC Points: 0
Division: 11
Seat: N/A
Element: Fire and Ice
Riatsu Color: Red and Blue
Race: Shinigami



~~~~~~~~~Personality~~~~~~~~~


Quick List: (list at least three traits)

  • Stubborn
  • Quick witted
  • Spunky
  • Sarcastic
  • Serious (Sometimes.)



---------------

Akahana isn't one to take other's s**t. She is, however, one to deal it out. She's not one to be messed with in a bad mood, and only to be messed with in a good mood and if you know her. She's quick with a snide comment and a smirk, and slow with apologies. But despite all of that (And her constant immaturity.) when the tough get going, she's leading the pack. She's not one to back down from anything, and she takes fights seriously. That is, however, probably the only thing she takes seriously. While being eager to fight, she doesn't like to be told she's wrong. She does have a bit of an ego, and whenever she's looked down on, it pisses her off.

---------------

Weaknesses:

  • Luke warm/Luke cold (AKA Room temperature)-Despite liking the extremes of the degrees, the middle is something she has trouble with constantly.
  • Darkness/Light-The opposite of above. She hates both extremes, and seems to just meander in the middle, leaving lights dimmed wherever she goes.
  • Change-Be it fighting or everyday life, Akahana likes everything to stay the same. Some change is good? Not to her.


Strengths:

  • Fighting Techniques (Whether or not she puts that knowledge to good use or not is debatable.)
  • Enemy Making
  • Sarcastic Tone
  • Getting in Trouble
  • Working with Her Zanpktōs
  • Reading Emotions


---------------

Secrets: (optional)

  • Wishes she could be a little nicer at times
  • Despite her hard outer appearance, she's really just a softie.



Fears:

  • Land Sharks-She had a bad run in with a hollow once, to say the least...
  • Waisting days/time-She really doesn't enjoy sitting around and resting. She's a take action kind of person, and when she can't take action.. Let's just say, have binding measures ready.


---------------

Motto: "Yeah, I'm Blasian. So what?"


Special Possessions:

  • Small Golden Hairpin with a Sparrow on it.
  • The Set of Chokers She Wears




~~~~~~~~~Looks~~~~~~~~~

BUILD
Akahana is 6ft 2in, weighs about 140 pounds (Most of which is lean muscle) and doesn't lack curves. Although she's not a race track, she's certainly no bumpy country road. She doesn't have a lot of excessive body weight, hence forth doesn't have large breasts or butt. She has a few scars, and even two tattoos (Although you'll never know what or where.), so she's got a few stories to tell.

HAIR
Her hair is a natural dark chocolate brown, but gets lighter with too much sun and darker with too little. Her hair is died a light blue on the inner layers and a light red on the outer, which is what gave her the nickname Two Toned. Her hair goes down to beneath her butt, at parts. It's shaped oddly, with the longest point in the middle and two curves that lead to a point. The small pieces of hair that are not dyed go down to her waist.

FACE
A very angular chin with no defined jaw. Her nose is small and button shaped.

SKIN
Being of two completely opposite heritages, her skin is very odd. It is not black, but not even mocha, making it clear her skin chose most of the Asian genes. It's darker in a few places, although she's not going to tell you why.

EYES
Her eyes are large and fish like, to say the least. They're a light amber color, a color that stands out against her slightly dark skin tone. Her eyes catch sunlight very well, and it looks like the light is dancing on her corneas.

CLOTHES
Normally, she doesn't wear a skirt. She's just not that fancy. Most of the time, it's the first thing she picks up. Almost always, that happens to be a pair of shorts and some sort of tank top. Every once in a while, however, she actually plans an outfit. On those days, you know something's going to happen. And it's probably not good.






~~~~~~~~~Autobiography~~~~~~~~~


PAST


Before the plague, she spent her time winning bets and living in a house that offered to take her in. She wasn't one to lose, and she knew her stuff when it came to fighting. Others didn't find her luck as believable as she did however, and slowly the accusations of cheating increased and increased. Because of this, all of the bets coming in dwindled, and she soon switched her "occupation" to that of a debt collector. It was not a big switch-she already knew the people anyway, and it wasn't that hard to instill the fear in them.

Life was normal enough. Then the plague hit. While everyone around her slowly started to fade, to say Akahana had a freak out would be an understatement. Unlike her nature, she fled to a secluded portion of the Soul Society, one where almost everyone was wiped out. There she waited, cowering in a corner of her own world. It was pathetic, yes, but at least she survived. Maybe it was because of that she decided to find her way to the Academy. Fix her broken pride, maybe?


---------------

PRESENT

Current Residence: Barracks
Occupation: Shinigami in Training

---------------

~~~~~~~~~Stats~~~~~~~~~


Base Stats
Strength: ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Technique: ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Intelligence: ♦ ♦ ♦
Defense: ♦ ♦
Agility: ♦ ♦ ♦
Stamina: ♦ ♦
Reiatsu: ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦


Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility:
Stamina:
Reiatsu:


Perfect Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility:
Stamina:
Reiatsu:


~~~~~~~~~Techniques~~~~~~~~~


SS-rank Techniques
(Have to be S-rank at least to have one)

S-rank Techniques

A-rank Techniques

B-rank Techniques

C-rank Techniques

D-rank Techniques

E-rank Techniques



~~~~~~~~~Racial Powers~~~~~~~~~

Zanpakutou
Zanpakutou Description
Two identical long thin blades with ribbons long enough to loop around the arms on the ends. On the one she holds in her right hand, Fuyuki, the ribbon is a dark blue. The one she hold in her left hand, Maika, the ribbon is a dark red. They do not have hilts large enough for hands, because the blades are meant to be used by twirling the ribbons.

Shikai Name Fudan (Use the meaning of Indecisive for this one, folks.)
Shikai Release Phrase "Make up your minds."
Shikai Physical Description Nothing too drastic. Blades extend a little more and a very faint light emits from the swords. Color of light matches that blades ribbon color.
Shikai Abilities Again, nothing too drastic. Maybe a little more speed, and a little more endurance, but nothing major.


Bankai Name Ketsu (Meaning Decision.)
Bankai Release Phrase "Ah, now I see what you're telling me."
Bankai Physical Description This is where the change starts happening. The blades latch onto Akahana's arms and become larger and more pointed. The faint light it much more visible, and depending on the side you stand on, you can feel the air get hotter or colder.
Bankai Abilities Much better understanding with the two conflicting spirits allows for better planning and better


Perfect Bankai Name Hiragana (Killing Intent.)
Perfect Bankai Release Phrase "I rather like that idea too, hehe."
Perfect Bankai Physical Description At this point, the blades that are attached to her arms turn into scythes, ones that require immense strength to lug around. Because of that, she isn't one to linger in this state. The slight differences in air temperature are very apparent, and standing on one side for too long could potentially give you burns/frostbite.
Perfect Bankai Abilities In this stage, all three spirits are working together for one common goal, and it's hard to tell at points who's the one talking. Escaping the three's eyesight is a hard thing to do, but when you do it takes a long time to find you again. Even with working so well together, sometimes the three get tangled up and the balance tips. When that happens, it's a horrible thing to watch and it takes a long time to get that balance back. The good part is, because there are three people, there's also three people's power-strength, speed, stamina, the whole shebang. But there's still only one body, unfortunately.



Zanpakutou Spirits
Spirit's Names Fuyuki and Maika
Spirit's Physical Descriptions Ice and Fire.
Spirit's Personalities Basically, it's what could be expected of the two elements. Fuyuki is sarcastic and snide, that is, when he gets around to talking. Maika is the opposite-well, at least in the sense of talking. She talks too much, but also gets her two sense in. All in all, there really isn't a "good side", just variations of the same side.
Spirit's World It's a rather dysfunctional world the two live in. In this world, there are two extremes-a glacial terrain on one side and a constant lava flow on the other. Somehow though, the two meld in the middle, where a lush landscape of grass and the occasional tree reigns.
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 3:29 pm


@Arma: Tbh, I guessed that indeed you wrote your character's name in western format, something of which I ended up being correct on due to your referring to her by the "normal" surname. (That and no one would call their character Shimizu, a more obvious surname than Akahana.)

Call that nitpicking, but usually when a character has a Japanese name, it is written in eastern, or Japanese format. It can be confusing at times.

Before I go to far into your profile though, I have one question:

How did your character survive the plague? Just saying she wasn't affected leaves a bit to be desired in the way of information given. Please specify how that happened.

Mazele

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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 3:51 pm


    Heh, nah I get what you're saying.
    (I actually thought I had changed that. Guess I didn't.)
    I'll go fix both of those now. :B
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 1:32 pm


THE CHARACTER

http://images.wikia.com/bleachfanfiction/images/8/86/Anime_boy-1.jpg

Naito Senshin


~~~~~~~~~The Profile~~~~~~~~~


Full Name: Naito Senshin
Nicknames: none to date
Age: is several hundred years old but appears to be in his early to mid twenties
Gender: male
Birthdate: in rukongai you never know it’s true do you?
Rank: (Your character's rank; Ex. B)
AC Points:0
Division:2 N/A
Seat: N/A
Element: N/A
Reiatsu Color: purple with shades of red and blue cycling randomly
Race: Shinigami



~~~~~~~~~Personality~~~~~~~~~


Quick List: (list at least three traits)

  • nice
  • semi-stable
  • awkward to the extreme
  • extremely loyal



---------------

People usually have no idea what to make of Naito. Naito can be aggressive one minute and totally calm the next though he usually has some kind of reason. He is indeed a walking talking contradiction he never doubts nor does he have any belief if something bigger is there he simply doesn't care he will keep doing as he will. He’s always been a bit withdrawn he was that way when he first appeared in rukongai. When he finally met some people and started trusting them they took him to rob a store; it was all planned but they left him locked in the storage closet to take the blame henceforth he barely trusts anyone anymore. As he grew and matured he learned not everyone was out to get him. In the end his trust is still horribly hard to gain and if you he trusts you he will gladly die for you if need be. Though still the only person he’s ever trusted fully is his companion his zanpakuto.

---------------

Weaknesses: (list at least three)

  • women
  • people in need
  • to kind


Strengths: (list no more than six)

  • loyal
  • courageous when need be
  • strong
  • intelligent
  • willful
  • not 100% right in the head


---------------

Secrets:

  • feels bad about doing nothing wrong quite often
  • doesn’t really like his powers
  • can barely bring himself to take another’s life



Fears:

  • loneliness
  • thinking he’s simply going through life all wrong


---------------

Motto: "society, just a bunch of worthless morals and ethics....i have my own i dont need yours"


Special Possessions:

  • his sword
  • the robes he wore in rukongai




~~~~~~~~~Looks~~~~~~~~~

Naito appears to be around his early to mid twenties and is in ok shape. He doesn’t have a normal zanpakuto he had the science division turn his into a ring that when he focuses on it releases into his zanpakuto instantly. He doesn’t go with the normal Shinigami attire but instead wears a long tailed jacket and jeans and a t-shirt along with gloves all black. He is around 5 ft. 4 in. and has blue hair and red eyes.




~~~~~~~~~Autobiography~~~~~~~~~

Naito was born in rukongai around 100 years ago he was lost lonely and scared until he met several young kids who had formed a gang in order to survive he decided to go with them wanting nothing more than a place to call home. A few weeks after learning everyone’s name and getting to know each other they decided to rob a general store while they sent Naito to go raid the supply closet as they stuffed the bags they had brought with candy and bread they locked him within the closet they set him up and left him for dead. As Naito sat there sad and crying a bit, after a while he heard a small voice within his head “poor little child hehe you simply wanted to belong well its overrated grow up” just as soon as the voice had come it went, as soon as Naito had stopped crying the owner opened up the door a chubby man of at least 4ft stood before him and saw Naito he decided to take pity and raise the kid as his own. Several years passed and Naito grew up to be a fairly strong and kind young man he also had what most didn’t spiritual pressure recognizing this the man who had grown old told Naito to leave now go attend the academy and never return he pulled a knife on Naito knowing the only way he’d leave is if he threatened him it worked Naito ran far away. Naito found the academy and decided to enroll maybe if no one on the outside of the seireitei accepted him and found happiness being around him….perhaps someplace within would so he decided to walk forward and leave rukongai behind him.
PAST






---------------

PRESENT

Current Residence: Barracks
Occupation: Shinigami

---------------

~~~~~~~~~Stats~~~~~~~~~


Base Stats
Strength: ♦♦♦♦
Technique: ♦♦♦
Intelligence: ♦♦♦♦♦
Defense: ♦♦♦
Agility: ♦♦♦♦♦
Stamina: ♦♦♦♦
Reiatsu: ♦♦♦♦♦


Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility:
Stamina:
Reiatsu: ♦♦


Perfect Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility: ♦♦
Stamina:
Reiatsu:



~~~~~~~~~Techniques~~~~~~~~~


SS-rank Techniques
(Have to be S-rank at least to have one)

S-rank Techniques

A-rank Techniques

B-rank Techniques

C-rank Techniques

D-rank Techniques

E-rank Techniques



~~~~~~~~~Racial Powers~~~~~~~~~

Zanpakutou
Zanpakutou Description
it begins as a gold ring with an amethyst in the center that can turn into a zanpakuto he asked the science division to make it for him so that he didnt have to carry around a zanpakuto all the time.
Shikai Namechrysanthemum
Shikai Release Phrasebloom
Shikai Physical Descriptionits blade extends the hilt and such turn completely purple along with the blade which gains an arch about halfway down the hilt with a chrysanthemum inside of it.
Shikai Abilitiesit is able to slowly awaken just as a flowers slowly bloom (unless the opponent uses water type based attacks due to the fact that plants feed mostly off of water it awakens several turns faster, but slower when fighting heat based opponents.) when fully awakened after 5 turns it is able to slowly siphon off the opponents SP about 2-3 points per strike.


Bankai Nameshinri chrysanthemum (psycho chrysanthemum)
Bankai Release Phraseblossom and devestate
Bankai Physical Descriptionthe blade is the same as shikai but he stabs it into the ground causing thousands of chrysanthemums to blossom.
Bankai Abilitiesit has the ability to slowly siphon off about 30 points of SP from Naito and his opponent if his opponents SP equals zero it feeds off of their life energy instead draining their health. If Naito is losing and shinri chrysanthemum sees fit to intervene it can transfer half of what it drained from the opponent to Naito to power him up a little bit.



Perfect Bankai NameKore made shinri chrysanthemum saku (ever blossoming psycho chrysanthemum)
Perfect Bankai Release Phrasefeed and blossom
Perfect Bankai Physical Descriptionall of the chrysanthemums that grew disappear and a chrysanthemum appears in Naito’s hair. All of his clothes turn purple, and his swords hilt grows roots that ingrain into his arm.
Perfect Bankai Abilities At this point his sword has a mind of its own more then shikai and bankai but thinks along with Naito like a thought group pattern between plants it is able to direct Naito’s movements directly through his brain and can even use its own techniques at times.



Zanpakutou Spiritshinri chrysanthemum
Spirit's Physical Description It is a purple woman with a fair sized chest and that is fairly attractive garbed in purple robes made of chrysanthemum petals.
Spirit's Personality Its is well a bit unstable to say the least mentally but still intelligent and wise though it is very awkward and creepy to Naito when she flirts with him and he has no idea of what to do but stand there and just think (why is my own souls true manifestation flirting with me >.<).
Spirit's World It’s inner world is full of ever blossoming flowers it is shaded a little bit and has a 4-5ft high chair to lay down on in the middle of it like in a therapists office it also has a 3-5ft wide but shallow river that goes down the middle where chrysanthemums chair sits so that she can drink at her leisure like all plants do.


(hey i tried my best up here and i limited to internet access only through my phone so if anything is wrong give me a while to fix and repost thanks)

naito of the flame

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Mazele

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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 3:42 pm


@Naito:

After e-meeting with other mods and the GC, it has been decided that there are to be no more shinigami or other ethereal beings whom have survived the plague, WITH the exceptions of auto-ranked characters (Decided by the administrators of each race). While you do not explicitly state that your character did survive the plague, your age of "several hundred years old" implies it. The oldest your character could be in this lifetime would be five years, the date of which was when the plague died off. Please adjust this. (You could say that his "rebirth" just landed him with the same body he had when he died as a human and was born as a shinigami. )

Please do specify a birthdate. Even if your own rpc doesn't know it, the rules of the guild indicate that all fields of information need to be filled in. The same goes for your character's rank. (Which is likely to be "E", as most characters are in the guild at first. )

Division and Seat: Please just go ahead and leave these as "N/A", as every shinigami (outside of auto-ranks and other special cases) begins as an academy student.

I'll review more on this later, but please fix this bit at first. *nodnod* (:
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 4:14 pm


@mazele as soon as I can get to a desktop I shall ^_^

naito of the flame

4,050 Points
  • Full closet 200
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  • Flatterer 200

naito of the flame

4,050 Points
  • Full closet 200
  • Hygienic 200
  • Flatterer 200
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 5:16 pm


THE CHARACTER

http://images.wikia.com/bleachfanfiction/images/8/86/Anime_boy-1.jpg

Naito Senshin


~~~~~~~~~The Profile~~~~~~~~~


Full Name: Naito Senshin
Nicknames: none to date
Age: is only about 5 years in the seireitei but appears to be in his early to mid twenties.
Gender: male
Birthdate: February, 1st
Rank: E
AC Points:0
Division: N/A
Seat: N/A
Element: N/A
Reiatsu Color: purple with shades of red and blue cycling randomly
Race: Shinigami



~~~~~~~~~Personality~~~~~~~~~


Quick List:

  • nice
  • semi-stable
  • awkward to the extreme
  • extremely loyal



---------------

People usually have no idea what to make of Naito. Naito can be aggressive one minute and totally calm the next though he usually has some kind of reason. He is indeed a walking talking contradiction he never doubts nor does he have any belief if something bigger is there he simply doesn't care he will keep doing as he will. He’s always been a bit withdrawn he was that way when he first appeared in rukongai. When he finally met some people and started trusting them they took him to rob a store; it was all planned but they left him locked in the storage closet to take the blame henceforth he barely trusts anyone anymore. As he matured he learned not everyone was out to get him. In the end his trust is still horribly hard to gain and if he trusts you he will gladly die for you if need be. Though still the only person he’s ever trusted fully is his companion his zanpakuto.

---------------

Weaknesses:

  • women
  • people in need
  • to kind


Strengths:

  • loyal
  • courageous when need be
  • strong
  • intelligent
  • willful
  • not 100% right in the head


---------------

Secrets:

  • feels bad about doing nothing wrong quite often
  • doesn’t really like his powers
  • can barely bring himself to take another’s life



Fears:

  • loneliness
  • thinking he’s simply going through life all wrong


---------------

Motto: "society, just a bunch of worthless morals and ethics....i have my own i dont need yours"


Special Possessions:

  • his sword
  • the robes he wore in rukongai




~~~~~~~~~Looks~~~~~~~~~

Naito appears to be around his early to mid twenties and is in ok shape. He doesn’t have a normal zanpakuto he had the science division turn his into a ring that when he focuses on it releases into his zanpakuto instantly. He doesn’t go with the normal Shinigami attire but instead wears a long tailed jacket and jeans and a t-shirt along with gloves all black. He is around 5 ft. 4 in. and has blue hair and red eyes.




~~~~~~~~~Autobiography~~~~~~~~~

Naito was reborn in rukongai in his original body around 5 years ago he was lost lonely and scared until he met several people who had formed a gang in order to survive he decided to go with them wanting nothing more than a place to call home. A few weeks after learning everyone’s name and getting to know each other they decided to rob a general store while they sent Naito to go raid the supply closet as they stuffed the bags they had brought with candy and bread they locked him within the closet they set him up and left him for dead. As Naito sat there sad and crying a bit, after a while he heard a small voice within his head “poor little child hehe you simply wanted to belong well its overrated grow up” just as soon as the voice had come it went, as soon as Naito had stopped crying the owner opened up the door a chubby man of at least 4ft stood before him and saw Naito he decided to take pity and help the man he saw before him teaching him skills he needed to survive in the rukongai. Several years passed and Naito grew and matured more to be a fairly strong and kind young man he also had what most didn’t spiritual pressure recognizing this the man who had grown old told Naito to leave now go attend the academy and never return he pulled a knife on Naito knowing the only way he’d leave is if he threatened him it worked Naito ran far away. Naito found the academy and decided to enroll maybe if no one on the outside of the seireitei accepted him and found happiness being around him….perhaps someplace within would so he decided to walk forward and leave rukongai behind him.
PAST






---------------

PRESENT

Current Residence: Barracks
Occupation: Shinigami

---------------

~~~~~~~~~Stats~~~~~~~~~


Base Stats
Strength: ♦♦♦
Technique: ♦♦♦
Intelligence: ♦♦♦♦
Defense: ♦♦♦
Agility: ♦♦♦♦♦
Stamina: ♦♦♦
Reiatsu: ♦♦♦♦


Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility:
Stamina:
Reiatsu: ♦♦


Perfect Bankai
Strength:
Technique:
Intelligence:
Defense:
Agility: ♦♦
Stamina:
Reiatsu:



~~~~~~~~~Techniques~~~~~~~~~


SS-rank Techniques
(Have to be S-rank at least to have one)

S-rank Techniques

A-rank Techniques

B-rank Techniques

C-rank Techniques

D-rank Techniques

E-rank Techniques



~~~~~~~~~Racial Powers~~~~~~~~~

Zanpakutou
Zanpakutou Description
it begins as a gold ring with an amethyst in the center that can turn into a zanpakuto he asked the science division to make it for him so that he didnt have to carry around a zanpakuto all the time.
Shikai NameKouka
Shikai Release Phrasebloom
Shikai Physical Descriptionits blade extends the hilt and such turn completely purple along with the blade which gains an arch about halfway down the hilt with a chrysanthemum inside of it.
Shikai Abilitiesit is able to slowly awaken just as a flowers slowly bloom (unless the opponent uses water type based attacks due to the fact that plants feed mostly off of water it awakens several turns faster, but slower when fighting heat based opponents.) when fully awakened after 5 turns it is able to slowly siphon off the opponents SP about 2-3 points per strike.


Bankai Nameshinri Kouka (psycho chrysanthemum)
Bankai Release Phraseblossom and devestate
Bankai Physical Descriptionthe blade is the same as shikai but he stabs it into the ground causing thousands of chrysanthemums to blossom.
Bankai Abilitiesit has the ability to slowly siphon off about 30 points of SP from Naito and his opponent if his opponents SP equals zero it feeds off of their life energy instead draining their health. If Naito is losing and shinri chrysanthemum sees fit to intervene it can transfer half of what it drained from the opponent to Naito to power him up a little bit.

Zanpakutou Spiritshinri Kouka
Spirit's Physical Description It is a purple woman with a fair sized chest and that is fairly attractive garbed in purple robes made of chrysanthemum petals.
Spirit's Personality Its is well a bit unstable to say the least mentally but still intelligent and wise though it is very awkward and creepy to Naito when she flirts with him and he has no idea of what to do but stand there and just think (why is my own souls true manifestation flirting with me >.<).
Spirit's World It’s inner world is full of ever blossoming flowers it is shaded a little bit and has a 4-5ft high chair to lay down on in the middle of it like in a therapists office it also has a 3-5ft wide but shallow river that goes down the middle where chrysanthemums chair sits so that she can drink at her leisure like all plants do.


(managed to get on edited it a bit and hope it fits if not sorry sweatdrop )
(SP is the equivalent or reiatsu and such spiritual pressure all that good s**t or at least anime wise it is lol)
PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 12:13 pm


@Naito: Thank you for fixing the initial review issues. Onwards to part 2, then. (:

Your base stats should total 25, but currently are totaling 29. Please adjust accordingly. *nodnod*

Since I don't speak Japanese or read Kanji, I rely on machine translators. Using those, I came up with a few results for "chrysanthemum". I'm not going to force you to change it due to no actual rules that state naming themes must be of one language, but since you're using partial Japanese (I think) for bankai, I thought I'd offer the suggestion.

(Using the machine translators, the results of "Kikunohana" and "Kikka" both come up solely as "Chrysanthemum". Alternative word matches are "Kika" and "Kouka". Both can mean "Chrysanthemum", but are linked to multiple other meanings. So again, just an offer if you were interested. )

To the Zanpakuto itself, what is SP? I don't believe we're using that system in this guild, so if you could enlighten me as to a possible comparative equivalent?

This problem applies to both the shikai and bankai.

Also, in perfect bankai form, you state that it can enhance his own movements and use its own techniques. Please state which movements it is able to enhance and of which techniques it is able to use while in this form.

Mazele

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 12:38 pm


@Arma: First off, I am so sorry for completely spacing the rest of your review. crying

Regarding your zanpakuto and its name translations, what translator are you using? Mine isn't coming up with what yours is. (The more resources I can have, the better, after all. ^^;; ) It isn't really an issue, just curious.

Shikai ability lists as a bit like a buffer, adding "...a little more speed, a little more endurance..." It's a tad vague, so perhaps a more definite listing of what the ability will do for her? (:

Bankai abilities doesn't look finished, just a note. Also, a better understanding with the zanpakuto spirits is something that naturally comes with bankai (taking usually centuries to even obtain) Also basically just a note, otherwise it doesn't seem to actually have any abilities. (Don't sell yourself too short. ^^;; )

Perfect Bankai physical description gives off a bit of an idea of an ability with the stated possible burns and frostbite. If so, if you could list its capabilites, or a possible maximum/minimum in temperature both sides could achieve (respectively).

The abiliites seem a mirror to the shikai, though obviously would be stronger. So if that is the case, could you clarify and display just what stats are boosted, and by how much? (please remember the stat limitations for a perfect bankai release, okies? (: )

And on that note, since you do list "buffer" abilities, if you could fill in the bankai and perfect bankai stat listings above the zanpakuto section, t'would be muchly appreciated. (:

The only other note I would capitalize on would be the zanpakuto spirits' names themselves. Normally, the zanpakuto spirits' name is that of the bankai and in this case, could also apply to the perfect bankai. (I reference Renji, Shunsui, and Ukitake's zanpakuto specifically, as their spirit manifestations are all two separate identities, in so far as humanoid appearances go, and is all we really have to go on yet. ((Like Renji's spirits are both named Zabimaru, Shunsui's are both named Katen Kyoukotsu, and Ukitake's are both named Sougyo no Kotowari.)) There is no true distinction between individual spirit names. An alternative idea would be to include both desired names in a slightly longer name, or use a word that actually has meanings for both fire and ice. (Amusingly enough, the word "Hi" in Japanese (according to my machine translator anyway) can mean fire, and it can also mean ice. It might support your idea of indecisiveness as to which it actually means...or something like that. xP

Anyway, that should do it, and again, I'm so very sorry for forgetting to do the rest of yours. DX
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 7:50 pm


Mazele
@Naito: Thank you for fixing the initial review issues. Onwards to part 2, then. (:

Your base stats should total 25, but currently are totaling 29. Please adjust accordingly. *nodnod*

Since I don't speak Japanese or read Kanji, I rely on machine translators. Using those, I came up with a few results for "chrysanthemum". I'm not going to force you to change it due to no actual rules that state naming themes must be of one language, but since you're using partial Japanese (I think) for bankai, I thought I'd offer the suggestion.

(Using the machine translators, the results of "Kikunohana" and "Kikka" both come up solely as "Chrysanthemum". Alternative word matches are "Kika" and "Kouka". Both can mean "Chrysanthemum", but are linked to multiple other meanings. So again, just an offer if you were interested. )

To the Zanpakuto itself, what is SP? I don't believe we're using that system in this guild, so if you could enlighten me as to a possible comparative equivalent?

This problem applies to both the shikai and bankai.

Also, in perfect bankai form, you state that it can enhance his own movements and use its own techniques. Please state which movements it is able to enhance and of which techniques it is able to use while in this form.


I've made the neccesary adjustements and am awating approval

naito of the flame

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:01 pm


Thank you muchly.

Approved. (:
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