|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:14 pm
Chapter XXV: More Business Orientated TownsAw screw it, I'm actually in the mood for once to work on my LP, so I might as well take advantage of that and.. well, work on my LP.  At least the good part about this game is they don't give you vague ideas on where to go next, it's set in stone, baby! heart  I forgot to cap where we are, but we are now in a town south of where we sailed like Taloon said, and unlike boring ol' resort town, this town is actually used for stuff. =o  And without a doubt: I present to you the inn to end all inn's in video games.  But screw that, outside classrooms, FTW, NEEDS MOAR OF! D:  We ARE the only people who leave town after all, the outside world is real you know.  Ripping people off and selling things 5X the original price!  I'm sure "Welcome to the weapon shop!" >>> silence, sir. mad  YAY TREASURE MAPS, if I can recall, it has no use except for take up valuable space, but YAY TREASURE MAPS!  Oh laud, that's so me in my high school career. cool  Apparently, that's the only way you can own a shop in this game (Taloon anyone?)  If you've been following this game, you should know that there is only one Chancellor in this entire game..  Princesses, Chancellors, all we need now is...  AN OLD CRANKY TEACHER!  Pfft, if I ever get sucked into an RPG world, I'm going to frown all the time to avoid this kind of getting sucked into a quest. mad  Yay? A third Mage when Mara is currently a Goddess?  Someone has a bad case of Monkey Syndrome. mad  Raids on the shrine just west of the village, FTW!  Oh yes, and Taloon now does funny stuff in battle (ie: he tells a bad joke which stuns the enemies for a turn, runs up and cover's the enemy's mouth when they're casting a spell, etc), but because I'm lazy, I didn't screencap everything he does.  Far to the south-east, and we're at our destination!  What kind of village greeting was that? Silly communists. mad  Well, Cristo's ********, serves him right.  What's this I hear of a southern cave? heart  Naturally, we go check this qt of a hole out.  Lolwut? We'd probably be in the Equator part of the world by the way.  Don't need to explain what those arrow tiles are, right fellow Pokemon players? It seems we've stumbled upon a frozen, abandoned Team Rocket base. PS: I love how Pokemon doesn't trigger spell check. cool  Oh hey, it's Laurent, some guy, Strom and... Alena?!  Now isn't a time to go on a luxury cruse spelunking adventure, Alena, we have to find a way to travel back in time and get some ******** Root.  Or that. After all, flora and fauna can grow in frozen temperatures apparently.  Wheee~ straight into a hole. stare  Wheee~ straight up the stairs. 4laugh  Wheee~ Straight into another hole. mad  W-what happened to Laurent? D: (The game likes to flicker when it faces lots of sprites on screen)  Anyway, after I finish having fun and screwing around, I take the right path for once. Ho s**t.  And what do you know, only in seed form, time warp to progress growth into root?  DUN DUN ******** YOU DUN.  Naturally, our foursome got butthurt because we got it inb4them and left, serves them right for walking around in a circle all this time. mad  Eh, at least we don't need no time warps, although it would be pretty bad boy if we could go into the future.  Chances are your nation is already ******** if the King has to do yard work. D: Next chapter- Magical Padaskdjfk;lasjdfqua to the rescue, actual useful recruits, cute, magical stuff, revenge x2 and maybe a full team?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:12 am
Chapter XXVI: Boats = Badassery What if I dun' wanna? Selling it would pay a pretty penny and you and I both know how expensive armour is. mad  Well what do you know? Takes .5 seconds to grow and .5 seconds to cure illnesses. =o  You have a staff, Alena has her fists, perpetual classes disagree with you there. D:<  Apparently, they're the only people I got excited about joining me.  Aaaaand we just broke the game yet again. heart  YOU DID WHAAAAAT?! NPCs don't have ears! mad  Oh laud, what is this, Quester's Rest in DQIX with DLC?  I can only wish. emo  Wait, who is he again?  Yeah, sure, at least he's nice enough to give us his horse.  Before anything, let's get revenge on Keeleon for futile battling us before! mad  Oh hey, Healie's a human, although in my mind and HyasomethingJapanese, he'll always be that little boy who sings and rubs Ragnar's back and makes it the most awkward ten seconds of my life. =w =  Because we don't have Orin to rip locks off the doors anymore. ):<  But instead he didn't need it, he could just do his manly thing. heart  *sigh* so back to an outdated dungeon, if there's anything I hate more than annoying encounter rates, it's annoying WEAK encounter rates with a piddly some of EXP. D:  And with that hint, we can totally find this apparent secret room we missed before!  LIAR! scream  Oh, wrong chest, and I had to go across the dungeon and press the right one. 4laugh  Well I'll be darned, a secret house that has no encounters under the treasure chest, I guess Orin didn't fight monster encounters in his sleep, but eww, no bed, that's just uncomfortable. D:  Huh? Just how did we end up on the other side of the world? I guess I went west too far? =o  In any case, Mini Metal King, break our game, I beg you!  Eww, stores, I liked my "Collect _____ metals and I'll rape the game by giving you _____" better. mad  In any case, we will wait two metals later to rape our game then.  MAGIC KEY RAID, TO ENDOR!  So he's in here with his valuable clothing, let's take it because we're pricks! 4laugh  I'm sure you see him wearing this and dancing to Single Ladies already. burning_eyes  Soon Alena will too.  All the single ladies (all the single ladies) Now put your hands up!/tank the hell out!~  Oh yes, and Neta has gotten over her moneyholic syndrome and now stores all our useless items. heart  Semi-secret armour shops with the strongest armour in the game, FTW!  You telling me to injure myself by jumping off a two story window? mad  Well, I'll just take all your stat boosting seeds/gold and leave then! D:<  PS: Prince of Iforgethistownlulz and the Princess of Endor now have an endless marriage that lasts until the end of the game. Next Chapter: Keeleon pwnage, a dramatic comeback of a sack if you know what I mean, more treasure raids, maybe plot progression and the saddest breakup in video game history EVER! sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 7:16 pm
Chapter XXVII: Ne Ne, Raian -SLASH-I should probably update this before I go into hrrrrrrgh mode and not update it, but mind you, I'll probably to go into that mode half way through, but whatevz.  We'll start this chapter with a bang (not literally, remember, Bang doesn't work in plot situations?) but with doing what we were actually supposed to do in the first place.  Remember kids, no one tells Ragnar McRyan to STFU, he'll NO U you with the sharp point of his Sword of Malice. heart redface  Umm.. we tried, but failed if you forgot. D:  Nonetheless, with Alena and a fastly growing hero on our side, we try again.  Yeah... go easy on us plzkthx. 4laugh  Luckily Mara know more than just Bang now. wink  Oopslol, forgot to cap him, same four armed whatever he was a few chapters ago though, thanks for the Seed of Defense!  That question should be directed to Alena, I mean she was basically the one who tore you to pieces.  Let me show you mai heroez, mai heroez, let me show you em'.  And with his dramatic gasp, he keel(eon lol )s over and dies finally.  Having a sexy Judo fight with Ragnar and four other soldiers apparently.  OH GOD YESSSS! heart  And with that, Ragnar replaces his one and only companion with three sexy ladies and a green haired guy, poor Healie. sad Aw Hell, he's probably having fun being a human, screw off Ragnar. 4laugh  And this is our full team until Endgame: Kang: It's a badass me who knows heal spells, offensive spells, tank Def and a Sword of Malice, do I smell a broken hero? In theory, no, but game wise, yessssss! Alena: For all the haxx Str/Agl I can take, although a bit of a glass cannon with her Leotard as armour Ragnar: Full out attacking with the highest Def baby! Nara: Because Cristo is a *****. mad  I guess, although I do miss my explosion can to lulz at you, now you're just a boring NPC. D:< - To Mother Russia it is then!  Ragnar Solo: That's no Russia...  IT'S A VAGUE PLOT ENHANCEMENT THAT WON'T BE USEFUL FOR A LONG TIME!  Ahem, now onto srs business.  Pfft, now that he doesn't have big brother to help him out, we can totally kill him. heart  Too bad Brey ain't with us to cast Blizzard on this mofo.  Hey, even the cat is an important figure in this world, I mean she is the only survivor of this place after all.  Will do later, I did think that locked door was suspicious..  Yeah, yeah, yeah, only this time instead of a boring Iron Lance, you'll totally get double penetrated by two S.O.M's heart  Ho s**t- Balzack evolved into.. into.. I'm not creative, he's just a big blue and green ball sack with a small stick. gonk  Lololololololol, minty!  I think the hardest part was when Alena missed once, but made up with it later via Iron Claw CRTC.  I find it lulzy how I still haven't bought any weapons for Ragnar at this point, but he's still haxxy. And yes, there are more broken weapons coming up that I WILL buy just to be a whore.  I dunno, that gasp sounded like the air escaping from a dead body...  Always a pawn we kill, always a pawn...  Chapter 2 anyone? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ALENA?!  Luckily for us, dem NPCs are pretty hard to tell apart.  Ladies and gentlemen, the most useless item thus far, although if you want some plot lovin' you have to keep it. D:<  Well what do you know? Nara/any other mages's ultimate weapon!  Anyway, we go back into the village west of this castle for a gnarly hint on where to go: find a hidden signpost in this town.  How about going just north and west of the house that looks suspiciously just like Taloon's? =o  Great, mythical nonsense, THANKS, SILLY OLD MAN!  Pfft, only weaklings bother to seal stuff these days. mad  Well, nothing else to do, let's to that! Next Chapter- Actual walking to get to a village, Venice, Italy, jesters, no jokes and not Erdrick's equipment!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:08 pm
Chapter XXVIII: The Crappiest Comedic Relief Ever Well wha'da'ya know there is a town in the Northern Sea? If you can see, you sort of have to spiral into it and fight weak enemy encounters as you go. mad  That's right, no longer do we need to go into dangerous caves/castles to pick up Erdrick's stuff, we now have to get on our hands and knees and beg and plead monarchs for Heavenly Equipment. :/  Sadly, they have black things/mines in their seas, so we had to leave our boat behind, but hey, this guy lends us a boat!  And no, I do not get to have a romantic cruse along these Venice-like streets with Mara. sad  I see no other boats in the area. mad  Where have we seen this house before? =o  And that is how we win the helmet, I'm sure Ragnar can have a sexy wrestling fight with him with tickling and stuff like that. 4laugh  Must I say again? Monsters can't enter towns, silly!  Right, let's get down to business, hi Laurent!  That sounds like a game breaker right there, let's try and go to Zenethia then!  Anyone know what the second half of the game is going to be about by now?  In which she's talking about the only apparent Jester in this entire game. Hmm.. where's the only stage in this world? I know Moonbaraba!  Oh laudy, that's probably one of the funniest things in DWIV history since "NEVER LITTER THE LITTER!" lol  Why thank you Laurent, you're helpful even when you're not poisoning enemies with your haxx knife. 3nodding  Lord knows how much I hate myself when I forget a joke.. why does an NPC even want the Zenethian Helmet anyway? =o  Get him Ragnar!  <******** that, we'll come back with Taloon. mad  Or do things the right way and take the hint the NPC gave us.  We never get to see HER fight thanks to the power of Return. And yes, Panon is a girl, the original manual agrees with me. mad  She's blowing up a balloon? =o  WELL, THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME.  Eh, pseudo persuasion and pleading, let's see how this works out..  So.. we're saving the world so people can laugh again?  YAY, and we don't even need to crawl around in a dungeon for it!  Laudy, laud, laud, laud.  Needless to say, it's the strongest helmet in the game if you're anything like me and don't want to waste your time stealing from Metal King Slimes.  Who's that? Oh yes, okay, nice knowing you, you'll make the next Kathy Griffin, girl!  We celebrate our victory of getting a broken helmet by getting a broken sword from the Mini Metal King.  Best part is it absorbs DMG the user does into HP. heart But there are STILL more broken swords coming up.  Ooh, cave, let's go exploring!  This is one of those rare boat in dungeon caves and is one of the easiest dungeons in this game next to the individual character's chapter dungeons.  Taking a right, up, left, down and left leads us here.  Why this is here and not in boring resort town? Beyond me. Blame it on Cristo.  Needless to say...  Now nothing will and never be able to do much damage to me. heart The DS version is so much harder..  Secret paths, FTW!  Just in case you're in the mood the scrounge up some Mini Metals for some Metal Babble equipment to rape the game further..  With that, we finish the locked cave with success, gosh, I hope it wasn't locked for a reason and wasn't some rich guy's swag! =o Next Chapter- We return to where we started, a bad flirting attempt, explode some s**t, run around not naked and steal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:35 pm
Chapter XXIX: Laurent the Traitor Well, we are officially back to where we started, only it seems the enemies got more bad a** and people forgot about the little boy scandal.  And the usual crappy castle treasure is perpetual, sheesh, Santeem must be the richest kingdom in the land. mad  We can't do anything the easy way, can we? emo Why can't kingdoms just keep legendary gear for once?  And by the looks of it, she took it, locked herself up in her castle and never looked back. 4laugh  Unless anyone has any better ideas, we're going to bed. D:<  Oh hey, it's that kid who got molested by many monsters a couple of years ago, and he's still a little bratty kid!  Oh laud, anyone remember when that kid next to you in elementary school used to turn around to try and copy your mad minutes? That pissed me off royally. mad  Uh, I mean kidnappings are cool in theory, but... D:  And with that, we totally fall asleep on the kid/have a wicked acid trip.  T-towers with the Flute to Uncovering song?! How is this possible? mad  Might be useful for later, who knows?  Oh hey, it's Necrosaro before he because an evil Necro who is scared of little girls!  Rosa: "Okay, come back before dinner, honey, I'm making mashed potatoes!"  And with that, he leaves to wreck up society and participate in arena competitions to win the hand of a Princess that will apparently spell doom for the world.  Okay, okay, we get the hint, kill Necrosaro before he goes on any other rampages.  It never is in Dragon Warrior IV (minus nighttime) hence, NPCs are so smart!  Right, so we sail up some river in Izmut/Burland area and reach here, and are blocked off by a mountain, s**t. mad  Luckily, I think an NPC told us what to do at some point, I just forgot to screencap it, MAGMA STAFF, ACTIVATE!  Cute, the debris that would have gone flying everywhere seeing as a mountain just blew up didn't cover our group as we press on.  I think after DWIII, there is always a woman based land with a beautiful Queen in charge, jus' sayin'.  I SEE A MAN TO THE LEFT, and also a secret passage to the north.  What's the one thing stronger than a claw made of iron?  Besides the obvious answer of a Metal Babble Sword...  Try.. A CLAW THAT IS ALWAYS ON FIRE, ******** YEAH!  Pfft, there's nothing even cool in the dressers that I can raid anyway. mad  Where did we hear this from again?  But screw possible stories of who my real parents may be, this cat is more interesting.  Not until you cough up the shield lady, you don't need it anyway with all this peace around you. D:<  As if, old man, I have a sexy mage dancer on my team and her sassy sister, what else could I ask for? =w =  I wonder what's in that chest guarded by an Ultimate Key lock?  Of course following the #1 rule in RPGs: if it's named then...  Hi Laurent! Going through women's panties again?  But on a serious note: if it's named then Laurent directs me to steal it, we all love Laurent, so we do what he tells us to.  DAMN YOU LAURENT! gonk  And we're under arrest, yet again. mad Tune in next chapter for: weird prison situations, annoying caves, running whilst playing the flute, sexy keys and a possible treasure raid if applicable!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:00 pm
Chapter XXX: Community ServiceSorry for the delay, I really don't have a reason this time rather than the usual lack of motivation, I'll totally go hardcore today to make up for my downtime (we're looking at three to four entries and if we get that far, endgame.)  Right, so prison, not very comfy with two spacious tiles, fortunately for our claustrophobic hero/ines:  What would an RPG be with being stuck in a prison for the rest of the game? heart  Other than stole some lady's floral print underwear, no, no we did not.  I said no again you silly woman! mad How is that different from before?  Right, then to Endor to yell and b***h at Laurent then, or to the south cave that we haven't explored? I think we know the answer.  Om, Alena's Fire Claws need testing though. D:  Much, MUCH better. cool (although 90% of the Japanese population would rape me for putting their favourite DWIV character in prison).  What's this cave doing conveniently due south of here?  Right, so meet the second most "FUUUUUUU" dungeons in the game (second to the mental ******** of the cave to the final dungeon). As soon as you enter, you are treated to a branching path, take the right path and..  It leads you to a bigger trollface branch (PS: the encounter rate is insane in here)  Ooh, just look at all those branches I had to overcome to reach here. 4laugh And we're like a third of the way done.  Yadda, yadda, yadda, more branches, ******** yeah Shield/etc, hey it's Laurent's evil twin brother!  The suspense! Slowly, slowly, zoom in camera, no sound, and..  CRASH! And we let people change their pants, then we begin our hilarious chase of this guy.  I ******** love this part, he runs (by that I mean 8 bit walking speed) around the room two or three times and leaves the room if you don't have the mad reflex skillz (ie:like twenty seconds) to use to run to the door and block it all whilst he's playing the flute. <33333 Right, so if you're like me you'll need some time to breathe from laughing at the sheer lolwut of this part, see you next screencap!  Not today Speedy McSpeedfail!  Holy s**t, he rips off his shirt and pulls all his long purple hair out and turns into a pallet edited guy Alena kicked about twenty updates back.  Pfft, but he's a green belt so we kick his a** with ease (other than him trollfacing people and buffing his Def with the Upper spell).  Sadly, we don't get a loop question, he just sort of says that.  Oh hey, woman soldier, why do the cavalry always arrive at the end of the battle? mad  Maybe helping us God forbid would have been beneficial as well? confused  I'm sure she wouldn't (ie: when I almost got my a** kicked sometime on my way down here), but whatever makes her feel important. rolleyes  Then she sort of drags him by his hair which has regrown by now (as well as his shirt which re-mended) and leaves us to cast an Outside/Return spell to do the "F U" to their Queen.  I believe you owe us an apology/execution of a bad prophetess now. mad  Or that, YAY, I LOVE WOMEN ONLY COUNTRIES NOW! heart  ;dskaj;cvlkujdr;lkafj;lkdfjw, Now all we need is to find that pesky Zenethian Sword.  ROSAville, real creative, Enix. mad  Well what else did you think could have been in this expensive looking treasure vault? =o  I'm still holding a basic Iron Shield? D:  Had I have the skills/knowledge on how to play Poker, a Metal Babble Shield would have offset the Def so high that this shield would look like crap, but oh well.. <3  And we don't see him again until the end of the game, nor anyone else for that matter..  Been there done that bro, lovin' my Zenithian Shield, Fire Claws and prison lulz.  Oh I'm sure anyone who played Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask can relate to you. D:  That wasn't very south of "here" at all. mad Tune in next chapter for dream ladies, broken items, broken weapons and breaking stuff in general!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:58 pm
Chapter XXXI: Rape TownAs in game raping. cool  We begin in Rosaville (you never guess who lives here?) and we see a monoclerk shop, if you miss what you want, you have to wait until he cycles back to where you are. He sells the Sword of Lethargy which has a chance to put ANYTHING (final boss included) to sleep. The only downside to it is the lack of attack power.  Sounds.. painful for her. D:  Throw moar rocks at her and tell her how unpleasant she looks in that dress!  I'm sure we'll find it sooner or later..  Found it! (hint: look ahead through the wall).  Why does this look familiar?  She always does everything, like why not give Ragnar an important key item to hold or something? mad  Oh shi-.  Om, not even pallet-edited? NEXT!  Just because we like raping the game further/insta-silencing any mages that come in our paths just like in Ch. 4. wink  Eh, what the hell, why don't we take up the Dragon Quest III reference and dig it out of a tomb for shits and giggles? Besides, I'm sure we can find a use for it sooner or later.  Blah, blah, blah, rehash of this emo dude, let's go kill him! 4laugh  Too bad the Golden Bracelet is still hidden amongst the army of generic NPC's eh?  You b***h. mad Not like I need the extra items GP at this point anyway. <3  Final Key item raids/outdated weaponry, FTW! (rest was the generic GP/Seeds of "X".  Well that was a boring treasure raid, let's see what cooking in this crypt.  Doesn't look that bad, I don't see why I didn't-.  Ho s**t, magic room expansion, you Final Key locks dun' scare me no more. mad  La, la, la, on our way.~  A hole in the wall? Does it lead outside by any chance?  Oh for- HOW DOES THIS SMALL BRICK HUT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE?!  I don't see any skeletons, how is this a crypt? D:< Ooh, another abandoned Team Rocket base!  -cough-SphereofSilenceisbetter-cough-.  METAL BABBLE, O MOTHERRRRRR, I LOVE THE DEAD A LITTLE MORE NOW! <33333  And as usual, the easy +5 levels for everyone that Metal Babbles like to rape the game by doing so...  Don't worry, I'm done raping the game by now..  Eww, branches, we all hate em', and this hellhole has em' although they aren't as bad as the Bandit's Cave.  Aaaand we're done this place and not a skeleton in sight, let's go find a use for this now!  Possibly the only place we haven't been yet? Tune in next chapter for Australia, worst case of waterphobia in Dragon Quest/Warrior history yet, Physics defiance (what else is new?) and a use for the Staff of Transformation!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:51 pm
Chapter XXXII: Cor Blimey! (It moves!) Perfect idea, let's build a waterside town right beside a Daemon Fort and wait for Hell to break loose!  Because apparently there was only one of these in existence, but we should kick the "Ruler of Evil"'s a** and get it back so we can fly in the sky then, eh?  Don't tease me. emo We'll show you, we'll totally kill this evil guy and take whatever this flying thing needs to fly! mad  Hmm.. I think airships need flames though.  I piddly river we can easily jump across, but noooo, we have to go in the shine first. D:<  I guess we're not that great then. D: Oh hey, an amusement ride, let's go on it before we progress the story seeing as we're all ^ this tall to ride it!  It better not go upside down, I hate going upside down. mad  Those are some pretty ******** up toes, jus' sayin'. D:  That's no amusement part ride, IT'S A DUNGEON! gonk -door slam/lock-.  A feeble attempt at branching labyrinths if I say so. 4laugh  Um, what the hell is that thing sticking out of the giant, Enix? mad  Oh you guys are such pervs, it's just his nose as we jump out of his right eyeball! (PS: Reggae giant, rock the ******** out man!)  Now we're in a room full of "knobs" (and no, again, sheesh you're perverted mad , we climbed his right arm and are in his brain.)  It's also a steering wheel so we don't have to cross the dreaded tiles of water, yay!  When we're done, we jump straight out of his right ear/200 meter fall and prepare for some Monster Castle crashing.  Well that wasn't a long trek, only how are we going to crash it?  Ragnar puts his brain together/pulls some knobs and comes up with this plan.  I think you can turn into any sprite in this game, but I'm too lazy to screencap them all, but you need a monster sprite to talk to enemies, or you have to kill them, but we're here to eavesdrop not slay everything in sight no matter how badass that would be. Besides they respawn when you kill them. D:<  Apparently cats are monsters, but they are badass, so let's do some eavesdropping on this silly place via evil cat form because skeletons/beavers/dogs/hero/etc are boring to turn into!  You're blocking our path, you silly man. mad  Eh, I'd be scared/spewing cuteness if four cats bursted into my room too.  OH SHI- SPELL WORE OFF! Fortunately for us, the monsters aren't the brightest and don't realize until you actually talk to them that you're intruders. Oh yeah, and that guy is making a break for it, but when you come back to this room, he's chilling out in his cell again. mad  Then being a p***k, he took the source of fuel of a badass airship and died and buried it with him in his tomb. D:<  Secret rooms, roaming the castle's perimeters, FTW!  Fuuuuuu- I should have known Monster Castles have monsters for a treasure vault room! gonk  In the end, it all adds up, as we get more overpowered stuff.  The Dragon Shield is pretty badass on its own right, but..  The Air Something/Too Lazy To Look At The Screencap Again Lulz Shield is a tiny bit more badass. <3  Secret monster meetings that we get to spy on? You're thinking outside of the box, Enix!  And the big boy himself is even making a guest appearance.  Which is good news for us then. cool Ooh, they're mentioning Chernobyl again, didn't think we'd see that town again.  DUN DUN DUN... eh, shows them right for digging in a poisonous mine, stupid NPCs..  I guess I got too excite to find out that we get to go to Happy Land again, but we're going to Happy Land again! 4laugh Next Chapter- Um, you thought the town couldn't get any worse?, Mine navigation, Palace navigation and an actual boss theme for once. PS: How is The Ruler of Evil's revival bad news for the bad guys? confused
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:02 pm
Chapter XXXIII: DUN DUN YAWN GET OUT OF THE TOWN AND TAKE THE WHOLE .5 SECONDS TO THE NOW LIBERATED KEELEON CASTLE IF IT'S THAT BAD FOR YOU THEN. Honestly, those NPCs. mad  If you call an Evil Palace of Doom underground an "extraordinary find", then sure..  So once again, we venture into this place, only without the silly flames to imbue false hopes in our hearts.  Other than being exactly the same as when we last came in here, only with a hole in a wall which leads to this ominous brick fortress of "doom".  Must've been the shed we walked into, oh hey, besides getting raped by the barrier, we finally get a good view of Esturk in all his 8 bit glory.  Finally, the palace, and way to make my monster killing spree in vain. emo  So I sense an epic boss fight coming from such a straightforward dungeon littered with healing and stat boosting items?  Oh laud, here it comes, Esturk, but before we do any of that..  Bah, generic monster fights, don't you think we had enough of that climbing this place? mad  PS: Those are like standard monsters for the area, *Zap!* 4laugh  CUE EPIC BOSS MUSIC. I suppose this is Sugiyama's amazing way to apologize to the Warrior player for the lack of boss music until now. And as you can hear, he more than made an epic apology that I gladly accepted. heart  Don't get him wrong, he shoots lasers in his sleep and stuff like that. gonk  In the end, Mara got lucky and pulled some haxx status effects on him whilst Alena trollfaced him and Ragnar totally ripped him a new gaping hole.  Don't look so epic now laying on your throne now, do you Mr. Esturk? 4laugh  Wanna jump up here and be next, Sir Necrosaro? I've got more than enough HP/MP to decimate ten more Esturks and possibly three of you. mad  And you totally thought you killed me when you killed that one girl who I apparently liked, now did you? Lolololololololoololol.  B-but I have the Flute of Uncovering, unless there's like three of them in this world. D:  RPG convenience, FTW!  Oh hey, that invincible dude guarding the treasure is gone (so is every other encounter in this place), let's loot it!  Well, wha'da'ya know, it even has 1,000 year old gas in it!  D:< The least they could do is let us get outta here easily instead of having to take a boring encounterless trek back to the mine.  I wonder what's up with Ruby?  Oh.. sad  Sephiroth'd! Eh, at least he actually now has a reason to decimate humanity.  Don't you just wish that he would instead of making us force him to? mad  Really? A hot pink background for your raggggggge scene? You're so emo Necrosaro. cool Tune in next chapter for our grand airship unveiling, a big tree, three allies at a time, angel things and the last fading moments of us on Earth. PS: This is what you would have witnessed if you were totally playing this version, apparently I'm not the only person who thought the DS remake was harder. But still I'm a whore for 8/16 bit games, so Warrior will always be better than the Quest remake in my wacky mind. And yes, the ally AI is that stupid, sadly you can't control them, so that's why I tend not to use Brey and Nara in case they do that like a million times. stare
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:22 pm
Chapter XXXIV: Helium?! Shur thing, it's a bit mossy and rusty though..  I was planning on throwing it at Necrosaro's emo clothing to make him fml about it, but sure, better get something in return for it. mad  Drugs from old gas? =o  And so we head to the inn, eww the shop keeper is napping in my bed! D:  Come next morning.. that's right, who needs airships when you have a freaking hot air balloon? BITCHES! 4laugh  And somehow it's big enough for one fat man, a really muscular man, a bunch of skinny people, a strong Princess who's fists are quite on fire at the moment and a horse..  Besides being the coolest "airship" ever (or at least until Dragon Quest V and VI, more on VI-side though), it travels like 1KM/H and I can totally go outside, make myself a pitcher of iced tea, fly up an omelet drive to 7-11 and buy s**t and I'd still not be at my destination. gonk frame skip anyone? About an hour later (.8 seconds with frameskip), we finally get into one of the only places we haven't been able to go to, ooh, forest tile, let's raid it!  Wait in the van/hot air balloon with a horse drawn carriage in it, Mara and don't go flying away without us. mad  This place also sells the strongest mage armour in the game, the funny part is the Water Flying Clothes got renamed into some sort of dress in the DS version, making Brey a cross dresser.  And this town even has a talking dog that tells us that we're going to climb the FREAKING YGGDRASIL! (DQII is so old school, Midenhall totally wished that he could climb the Yggdrasil.)  That is one big ******** owl living in there.  T-that's an interesting looking tree with circle tiles, natural latters and curves in it.  The cute part of this dungeon is that you can totally fall off it if you're not careful/have a crappy NES controller.  It's also theoretically impossible to die in this dungeon (max revive). cool The only downside is like every other DQ/W game out there, you can only pluck one of these at a time.  Maybe use your sword? mad  This part is pretty Hellish and most people fall off more than once and rage about it. D: And for the icing, it's like waaaay up there and it's the second last floor.  How come she can collect more than one? mad On that note, why can't she just collect them on the first floor?  You're finding the missing sword though. D:<  We've been everywhere lady, there is no such sword here!  Okay, it was right behind her, but still, we looked everywhere figured it'd be in the highest, most inconvenient place for us.  Now that we're pretty much finished everything that we need to do, we take the liberty to go on a nice pleasant little sidequest.  A water cave? Never seen one of those before.  Oh laud, now I do want to find a water cave. <333333  Which would totally make the giant golem thing level in vain as we could just pull a Moses and make the river part for us, but whatevz.  That looks pretty droughty if you ask me.  Well wha'da'ya know? Now all we need is a "cascading cave" and we'll be set!  Found it! 4laugh (like three steps north of Rosaville.)  Oh laudy, they weren't lying about dem' cascades, a drop of this stuff and we'll be a pile of melted Wicked Witch.  Luckily, we totally have this, now onward we march into this place!  Just in case we feel like raping Metal Babbles/get raped by a super powered badass monster, we can just turn the battle back from square one.  Now for some legit cascades, I think this is one of the most beautiful dungeons in the game (mind you, 8 bit dungeons aren't really pretty in general sadly)..  Sounds cursed and can only be sold for 1 GP. stare  Looks important, can it be?..  OH GOD YES, YES, YES, YES! whee  Anyone ready for some raep faces?  I think by now, Ragnar even maxed his Atk out. heart sadkjc;lksad  Hey, what's this semi-ominous look island doing there thinking it's all that by barring itself from society? Next Chapter: Minimaps, <333333, strange cities/shine things, lolwut elevators, towerhalla and what we've been working for all this time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:49 pm
Chapter XXXV: The Final Game RapeI have full intention of completing this LP this week, or even tonight if I get that bored, then I can hopefully work on my FE4 one, then announce my other two that I truthfully haven't really been playing/screencapping at all these days (Hint: Think of your favourite 1990s cartoon for one and think of the rarest NES game in existence that really isn't and is possibly a scandal).  Sadly, that small chunk of land that we just landed on is actually another continent on its own and we have no choice but to land furthest from anything because we're total sluts for doing things the hard way.  At least mountain tiles have these things.~ <3  Which is 3x the amount of Metal Babbles, but they're whores to fight, often, we rely on Alena's constant CRTCs. D: (of course, if I felt like it, Mara's BeDragon instakills them in one hit)  So after a long trek north, east and south, we find ourselves in the outskirts of a town in the island of darkness (yet again).  Word sure does travel fast, and Christ, I hate respawns, screw you Necrosaro. mad  Yeah, yeah, we're on our way to Zenethia, Miss IknowyournamecauseI'msacredlikethat.  "Somewhere" how about like seven tiles away from this village? confused  But screw that, Zenethian Tower (which in my DQIII LP, we sort of climbed and killed the Master Dragon three times) is boring, let's see what's cooking in here.  Other than two chests, this place serves no purpose.  Which has a chance to deflect ANY spell (heal spells included D: ) and has spectacular Def.  LOLELEVATORS/STAIRS.  Ahem, now onto legit business, the tower leading up to the heavens that a village like a two minute walk from here apparently can't see.  *Flashes student card/shiny Zenethian Armour/Shield/Sword.*  And we're in! This tower by the way is a giant p***k and has branches to the left and to the right and has chests visible, but you can't get them just to "LOLOLOLOLOL" at you for taking the wrong path and totally missing them. D: It's still not as bad as the path to the final dungeon though.  And just to top it off, most of everything almost looks the same, so you have absolutely no idea where you are and often just walk around until you hit the top floor.  Looks important, let's stand on the alter!  In this point we all get absorbed in a giant Lakatu Cloud and fly away, ******** yeah!  Hey, I'm a cloud, I'mma shoot lightning at you. cool  And our fun is abruptly cut short when we end up in a bigger cloud with a castle sitting on top of it. In the next chapter, you can expect, boring castles, people from Ch.2 you probably forgotten by now, more Yggdrasil sex, a big (but nice, I guess he just didn't like Roto?) Dragon, a little dragon and the biggest Physics lolwut in RPG history yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:20 pm
Chapter XXXVI: No Wishes This Time? D: Yes, I know, short update last update, I'm sure fellow LP'ers can agree with me on those times when an update is short, but the ending is just so great that you can't afford to not have it end like that. D:  Upon entering this flying castle, that one girl we picked up on some tree ditches us without an item to express her gratitude or anything. D:<  A nice monster that isn't of the Slime family? Oh well, anyway, this wonderful devil thing totally gives us an item that fully restores HP/MP, but since it's of the Yggdrasil brand, we're not cool enough to carry more than one.  Where did we hear this before for the third time? mad  Eh, at least we now know that that stubby guy living south of my old town isn't my dad. <3  Oh pfft, I'm sure we was more than happy to get rid of me, teenage parents these days, sheesh.  Okay, I guess I did jump to conclusions, I wonder what it could be? I already have most of the strongest equipment in the game and GP is useless now.  She's giving us a child to take care of? That lazy b***h. mad  If you're into dice games, Doran is the perfect ally mainly because all his attacks are random, but yay, mini dragon on our team?  Anyone remember these whores from chapter 2? They're still whores/deliver a copy/pasta speech of what they did back then, which is why I didn't screencap what they say. D:<  Just because we're illiterate or the Zenethians write in another language and speak English, lolwut?  And as we all know, burying/sealing things (namely Esturk and Evolution things) just means its going to just come back up 100 years later and ******** things up again.  Whoops, oh well, I'm sure we can all smell his rot by now. 4laugh  That's why we've been doing everything on our own without his help until now. confused  I don't, rather than plot progression. gonk  Well, looks like we're going to have to do things ourselves AGAIN. mad  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm chosen and am covered in Zenethian s**t, what else is new?  Then he gives me a piddly amount (in comparison to a Metal King Slime) of EXP and I gain one and a half level. :/  No matter how canon it is for me to rape Necrosaro with the Zenethian Sword, we still hold on to the Sword of Lethargy for shits and giggles.  Fun, what does it all mean though? D:  And you never guess what we're going to do?  Yup, we just jumped from the clouds all the way to Earth, guys. I'm fine with jumping off houses, castles, giant trees and even freaking towers, but clouds in the heavens? That's too much, Enix. mad Next chapter- The biggest ******** ever, Hell, p***y servants, barriers and pretty things.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:19 pm
Chapter XXXVII: It's Still Not As Bad As The Path To Rhone, But Laudy.. So we went inside the cave and what was the very first thing it greeted us with? A freaking random encounter. mad  Now besides branches every way you turn and identical rooms in a circular motion to imbue false hope in you and take the wrong path eight times and think you're taking the right path all this time, we find ourselves in another Pokemon arrow game, only this one is more badass with all the choices you have to make. D:  It seems Alena and Nara got fed up with all this s**t and made a break for it. Graphical mishaps, FTW!  Nara gets a little more angry that she can't get out of this and orders her doppelganger to attack, but since she's of the healer archetype, we down the SOB in one M.B.S (Metal Babble Sword) strike. 4laugh  What's your prize for crossing a poisonous marsh? A ******** MIMIC! mad  DAMN IT NARA, YOU'RE NOT ESCAPING!  Oh hey, Zoma rehash anyone? We don't have the Ball of Light, but still can down the whore in two or three hits.  Much like any other Dragon Quest/Warrior in history, they decide to give you all the GP in the world at the very last second when you least need it. mad  Right, now on to the aquatic part of the stage!  -Goes left six tiles and takes the stairs leading to a pillar stair case- well that wasn't that hard!  A big door? I think we're almost at the end guys. 3nodding  Nope, we're just in a pallet edited darker part of the dungeon. D:  A big gaping hole vs stairs? Screw it, I'm too lazy to walk all the way to those stairs.  Then of course, if you're a completionist like me, you went down the stairs and the hole for both items (Seeds of "X")  NOW WE'RE FINISHED, ooh, a lush green Hell, unique!  Um, the throne is sort of on fire, let's talk to it.  It evolved into a Zenethian! *Saves game*  So now it's all of a game of removing these barriers and pressing "B" to stop Necrosaro from evolving (we really should have gave him an Everstone. D: )  With that, we head to the weakest barrier in our path: the northwest one.  Cute, no dungeon, no nothing, just a straight walk in/pwn boss.  Of course you know this means war. mad  Um, pallet edited monsterboss? Gtfo weak monster. talk2hand  I guess we can make it a law that pallet edit bosses are wusses..  Marching on: we head to the second weakest/closest to our initial spawn point: the southwest barrier.  Now this place, laud.. I suck at mirror games, okay? Basically, you have to manipulate them until they don't touch you by moving them (they move when you do) into the pillars. D:  So I sort of bash the arrow keys feverishly..  Until we finally get an opening!  We're even treated to barrier damage tiles (and because I don't have Mara to Stepguard s**t up, we have to take it like real men/warrior women).  That looks like Esturk's map sprite, better not have respawned. D:  i c wut u ded thar. 4laugh I think if you do he gets the initial strike, but we're smart.  Struggling is our game, we're just big anti-rapists! blaugh  And of course, a not even bothered pallet edit of Balzack, naturally, he's weaker than the other boss, but getting to him was harder.  Oh! The drama! Two more guys!  They're even nice enough to let you leave without a furious arrow key mash puzzle.  Awright, second last barrier, here we come!  As you can see: the hardest part about this level is deciding if you want to make a dramatic entrance from the left or the right door. After complex math equations and poetic interpretations from an old Latin scroll, we go with the left door.  Oh, you think you're all cool by pluralizing the barrier you're protecting to try and make yourself look all mighty, bring it! mad  Oh shi- three guardians, HAXX!  M.B.S is a little more haxx though, so is Alena in general. wink  With guardians this weak, Necrosaro will be moon dust by tonight!  And the final guardian/the ring leader, the northeast tower.  This time, it's an actual mini dungeon with monsters and the works, but with free healing in that one fiery shrine, nothing's too scary.  And what the Hell, they even throw some free cursed armour in there!  With that, we head to the boss which is, a priest?  Yeah, yeah, get in line with all the other wanna be servants. mad  Only he's a little bit more DUN DUN DUNish about his role, which is sort of a lolwut, because he needs to sit on his a** all day protecting the barrier, how could he abduct Rosa to put Necrosaro in a RAGGGGGGE if he's doing such a thing? D:  Nonetheless: pallet edited boss, you know what that means. 4laugh  He didn't even get a chance to lay hurt on me. <3  Yeah, yeah, yay, castle raid is now available!  Every single final boss we've fought in Dragon Quest/Warrior thus far has had their own pimp castle, and Necrosaro is no exception. cool Next (and one of the last) Chapter- Castle crashing, easy stuff, hidden stuff, mountains and the big guy himself!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:41 pm
Chapter XXXVIII: In the Hall of the Mountain EmoSeriously, what is it with DQ/W final bosses living in castles connected to mountains? D: Anyway, I want to finish this tonight as I am officially a nocturnal animal and there's not much one can do at midnight except for go for drives (121.01/L on gas? ******** that, I'm a bus dude these days), do push ups and work on LPs. mad  BITCHES! mad Oh well, at least this time, you don't have to evade them, if you run into them, you trigger a severely weak foe which is more of a hassle than anything.  -Pushes it over and continues on my merry way.-  Ooh, dead people scattered throughout his castle, he's hardcore man!  A room that is an entire poisonous swamp, EFF YOUUUUUU ENIX! scream A Healus spell later, let us carry on. 3nodding  Just to get a shot of how well done this dungeon is for its era, sadly, it's straightforward and can be completed without any trouble at all.  Secret holes in the wall, FTW!  Of course, according to my DQIII LP, this rapes the game to no extent. heart  Yes, yes, we get the idea, Necrosaro, you love the scent of rotting things in your house! mad  What's this ol' mountain doin' here?  Not that we need it or anything.. (summons all your party members to switch them up in battle if necessary).  Well, well, well, look who is all evolved and daemon looking?  Umm, I believe Esturk was that, you're just a weak rehash of him. mad  DESTROY HUMANITY! Kay, just be back at 6PM so we can raepface you, or unless you want us to right now?  And yes, the final boss is a Esturk pallet edit with swords, real creative. mad  But only with a twist. wink  Nara's really into that whole fire fetish thing.  I try and get a little badass by blowing his head clean off with lightning (how the Hell is Necrosaro still fighting, stomping? Body slamming?)  Flaming blood squirt attack!  W-what?! gonk  eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! Naturally Alena agrees and hits him.  Then he gets pissed and grows his right arm back.  Oh he's srs business now guys!  Suck it Necrosaro, we'll just burn your legs off so you can't-  OH SHI-!! gonk  Then the final boss theme picks up which doesn't have any musical structure at all.  Nonetheless, we carry on with our flame war, as it just is a normal final boss.  C-cancerous tumour on your head from all the magic spells thrown at you? D:  OH GOD, IT'S ALIVE!  So after you're done lolwutting because he has two faces (he's so two faced![on a serious note: how does he eat anything if he'll just puke it up via other stomach mouth?]), we continue with our usual raep.  He also glows a pretty whitish colour when he gets hit, which was Hell for me to get a good shot of.  Oh that whore and his Frozen/Disruptive Rays, much like any other Dragon Quest/Warrior final boss out there. mad  And yes, you can put Necrosaro to sleep if you really wanted.. D:  Then Ragnar gets pissed and destroys him finally. Oh, how much I love Akira Toriyama for creating such a beautiful boss fight, really, that man is a genius.  With loads of HP/MP to spare! (Minus Nara's case)  Yeah, yeah, why don't you grow more lolwut body parts and challenge us again?  Not even a "WHERE'S THERE'S LIGHT, THERE'S DARKNESS" boss rant. 4laugh  OH SHI- EVERYTHING'S CRUMBLING MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER DQ/W FINAL BOSS PLACE AND WE DON'T HAVE THE BALLOON TO LEAVE, HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE?!?!?! Next Chapter- Will we survive via Deus ex Machina, or will we end in tragedy and while we're on that note: how did Ganon's Castle in OoT crash into itself and not send debris flying to Zelda and Link like 1mm away from the castle? Find out next chapter (minus the Zelda question, we'll never know..)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:29 pm
Chapter XXXIX: You're Not THAT Useless, I Guess.. Dragon King to the rescue! (in which as you can see: I'm holding the horse which she has her legs wrapped around the carriage with everyone [Taloon] in it, lolwut?)  B-but I wanted to kill it, because God knows, some b***h is just going to just dig it up 100 years from now leaving some unfortunate fool to deal with the problem. D:  Yay, we are an hero/ines!  I bet Ragnar feels special, Alena, just a bit more because she did better than a man twice her age.  Yeah, like that one time when Cristo got the fever and we had to embark on a quest to help him, and those 9,000+ times when Brey died mid dungeon and we had to exit, heal him and go back in from square one. Nice of you to contribute, Brey and Cristo!  Namely Nara, not many people have the guts to burn the final boss's body parts off like she did.  And weighing down the carriage eating all our supplies, but then again, your S.O.M was good when we stole it from you..  YAY, THE EARTH IS GROSSS AND SAME WITH ALL THE PEOPLE, THAT'S RIGHT, ALENA YOU'RE- *WHACK!!* Okay, okay..  Not like it's my choice, just look at all my allies glaring at me. stare  Eh, I'm sure you'll be happy not having to raise a green haired teenage brat who shoots lighting.  DON'T BLOCK ME, I WANT TO STAY, BUT CAN'T! gonk  Yay, the elf sisters aren't pricks to me anymore!  We finally find our way out of here and continue on to our balloon which somehow found its way up here amidst all the chaos.  Kthxbai Zenethia, see you next DQ LP!  And for the endings: A, B, C return home to a respawned castle.  Ragnar returns to Burland, without Healie sad  Taloon returns home and briefly leaves in a spin off that I have yet to play.  Nara and Mara go back to the Dad's grave and butthurts about it for the rest of their lives.  Aw, screw that, they go back to being pole dancers/fortune tellers! 4laugh  And I go back to my destroyed town and be a hermit, FML.  At least I'm a semi decent gardener!  I JUST WANT TO BE ALONEEEEE! mad  And that's how it ends.  YAYYYYY, Thank you Yuji for creating the greatest DQ/W game yet, I look forward to DQX, thank you Akira for creating my favourite final boss of all time (not just DQ/W but of all time), I look forward to DQX again.  Thank you Koichi for the greatest soundtrack in the series, your 8 bit work is fantastic, not so much with the newer work, but I'm sure you'll get your Warrior epicness back in no time! Then the rest are M. Japaneselast name so they aren't important apparently.  Then we're all weeaboos so we don't care about the English names.  Two year difference? Sheesh, people complain about games these days when it's more than a six month difference from JPN -> NA release. stare  And we're finished. In closing: I really do hope you enjoyed Dragon Warrior IV as much as I did, although the graphics weren't as epic as the DS remake, it's still a very special game to me. Also, what did you think about the final boss, was it not the most epic, lolwut thing ever? I'd love to hear your comments. DQV LP probably won't be for awhile because I have three LPs in progress, two have yet to be announced and the third one is huge, so.. anyway, this is Hassan signing out, good night to yous all and don't forget the things you learned from this game: 1.) Capturing little boys and putting them in a basement will earn you a big gaping hole through your stomach from Ragnar McRyan. 2.) Princess? That's 255 Atk and 255 Spd Alena for you, next time you gender discriminate, those high hex values will speak for themselves. 3.) Laurent is the coolest person ever, just because you're overweight, doesn't mean you don't know how to kick some a**/do funny things in battle, also, convenience is ALWAYS on your side. 4.) If you're a sibling in a video game, chances are your sibling is going to have a one letter alteration from you (ie: Mara/Nara, Maji/Saji, Polom/Porom, Mario/Wario) 5.) Emo vs emo final boss fight? The one who has sassy friends is going to win. 6.) If you even want to destroy the world, you need badass transformations and "give an arm and a leg" to do so.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
